The Shark Film Office

I thought that posting my recap of Day 1 (and more) of Shark Week yesterday would serve to get me out from behind the eight-ball in attempting to catch up with everything going on shark-wise right now, but all I see before me is a whole lot more that I have to do. So without further ado, let us begin the recap of Nights #2 and #3 from last week's Shark Week . (And if you think this is going to keep me from watching the new Sharknado Week flicks this week, you've got another thing coming. I already knocked out 5-Headed Shark Attack yesterday morning, and – hoo! hoo! – is it ever ridiculous. More on that film later this week...) #5 – Shark Vortex (premiered Monday, July 24, 2017) One of the things that I love to gripe about during Shark Week is that there is too much focus on the great white shark. I admit, the great white is the most iconic of all sharks, which is both a good and bad thing. Great white sharks are pretty awe-inspiring, have a great menacing presence,...

Malibu Shark Attack  (2009) Dir.: David Lister Cinema 4 Rating: 3/9 Shark species: Goblin shark ( Mitsukurina owstoni ), but a prehistoric version, so it's OK that they do things a goblin shark can't. Right? The goblin shark has a face that only a mother goblin shark could love. Or an ichthyologist. Or me... With a long, flattened snout that looks like it was daddied by Jimmy Durante himself, jaws that stretch out forward to an improbable length, and a strange pinkish skin tone, goblin sharks seem like a nightmare scenario when seen in the light of day. But it's our light, not theirs, for the goblin shark goes largely unseen by human eyes. I suppose you could say, technically, such a thing about a great many sharks, since they live in the deep, and we only detect the slightest traces of their oceanic omnipresence from our surface world. But goblin sharks tend to live in the real deep  deep , dining on fish and other sea creatures in the relative darkness of deepwater c...