The Shark Film Office

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (2016) Dir.: Anthony C. Ferrante TC4P Rating: 4/9 Species: great white shark, hammerheads, goblin shark, leopard sharks, many unidentified species, and a surprise species that I refuse to give away until a much later date. While The Shark Film Office was started way back in 2006, I really let it lay fallow for many years while I first concentrated on other sites, and then got sucked into a personal vortex of depression and dark thoughts of suicide (which are far more insidious than light, happy thoughts of suicide). Since I didn't finally get The Shark Film Office going full force until earlier this year, it was purely coincidence that I skipped over a particular phenomenon that is largely responsible for the absurd amount of low-budget, goofball shark films that are thrown at us today: the Sharknado series. Premiering in 2013, and with a sequel released in each of the past three years, the first Sharknado film made directly for the Syfy Channel n...

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) Dir.: Renny Harlin TC4P Rating: 4/9 Appearance: via dialogue and a brief cameo (deceased and barbecued). What smells worse than the scent of overly charred shark meat, roasted to disgusting effect on a spit? Possibly only the script to this flop attempt to launch Andrew Dice Clay as a major motion picture leading man. Truthfully, I kind of like Clay on film, even if I have never been even the slightest fan of his stand-up act. I thought he was the funniest thing in the Lea Thompson-Victoria Jackson misfire Casual Sex? , which isn't the boldest statement given its general shoddiness, but it's the truth. Looking back on the supposed shock of his Saturday Night Live appearance the year this film came out, it's hard to see what all the hubbub was about, Bub. Given a legitimately R-rated platform to sell his largely misogynistic and sophomoric material, Clay ends up slapping out a truer approximation of his cartoonish, buffoonish char...