The Shark Film Office

Since there is a metric butt ton of stuff to cover right now in regards to Shark Week and SharkFest , I am going to stifle all of my normal preaching right here at the top about saving sharks and not using fear to promote these endeavors, blah blah blah... You know, the junk that I usually rant about to kick off these things. Instead, with so many episodes behind us now that Shark Week has actually concluded – and with me, despite what I stated was my intent over a week ago, getting started completely late in the game due to unforeseen personal circumstances – let's just dive right into the first night of Shark Week and let any further ranting flow naturally out of my thoughts for each special. (Not that most of the specials have set me off yet except the first one, but I always reserve the right to go nuts should an opportunity arise...) #0 – Sharktacular 2017 (premiered on July 7, 2017) Hosted by cult horror director Eli Roth, who has also held court over the nightly S

When I began what turned out to be an unexpected 8-month break from working on The Shark Film Office site last October (due to grievous bodily injury), I had already been damaged severely by a shark film which I had, at the time, been planning to review next on the site. The film was called Shark Exorcist , and with all seriousness, that straight-to-video piece of sheer dreck – after three viewings attempting to make sense of the damnable thing – broke my brain. Really, my brain was broken after the first two viewings to the effect that I stared blankly at an empty document on my computer’s screen for about two weeks before I watched it the nearly fatal third time. Then my brainpan cracked to such a degree that I then and now truly blame my hip injury in late October at Disneyland (on the Matterhorn, no less) on the fact that I had forgotten how to operate my body in a normal fashion following three misbegotten viewings of Shark Exorcist . [Of course, I could also blame it on the