tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-356799052024-03-13T10:34:38.123-07:00The Shark Film OfficeRik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-12831216044571385012017-10-20T22:30:00.000-07:002017-10-20T23:07:05.693-07:00Countdown to Halloween: Shark Exorcist (2015)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark Exorcist</b><i> (2015)</i><br /><i>Dir.: Donald Farmer</i><br /><i>TC4P Rating: 1/9</i><br /><i>Species: I suppose it is meant to be a great white shark, but the CGI rendering is not all that great. Plus, the shark attacks in the film are in a lake, so the shark is probably supposed to be a bull, though it is never mentioned. And – not for the first time in one of these films – the type of shark really doesn’t matter…</i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Believe it or not... the best part of the film...</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just over one year ago, I went onto Amazon Prime and watched a film called <i>Shark Exorcist</i>. I knew nothing of the filmmakers or the actors involved in <i>Shark Exorcist</i>, nor did I know anything beyond the title <i>Shark Exorcist</i>. It sounded like it could be a fun, stupid time. Was it about a shark that needed to be exorcised of demons? Was it about someone who was possessed by a shark and needed to be exorcised? Or was it about a shark who has been ordained as a priest who swims the world to perform exorcism rites on other fish who have been possessed by demons?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />After watching scores of mostly bad shark movies over the years, one starts to grow a bit inured to the horrors before one’s eyes. You find a certain level of comfort at even the lower depths of “entertainment” and start to figure out that there are levels within levels. After a certain number of consistently terrible films, you rest your laurels on what you believe is the “bad” level, but then each succeeding, consistently awful film you see broadens not just that level but also its definition. You have heard the overused phrase “so bad, it’s good?” Well, it does exist, because on that “bad” level, films do exist that, despite their inherent awfulness, somehow end up being entertaining and even possibly lovable in spite of themselves. The biggest and best example of this would </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Plan 9 from Outer Space</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, Ed Wood's sci-fi opus that is enormously wonderful to behold despite having everything in the world and Hollywood against it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Shark Exorcist</i> is not one of those films, so don’t get your hopes up here. (You can look at the rating I gave it at the top and figure that one out already.) After a single showing of <i>Shark Exorcist</i>, I was pretty certain that the film belonged squarely at the other end of the “bad” level from the “so bad, it’s good” lot. It was jumbled, confusing, and thrown together seemingly without care as to how it looked onscreen. It was poorly written, acted, edited and directed, and there didn’t seem to be much in the way of any joy behind the production in the way that sometimes occurs in small, independent, bare bones film shoots. (If someone from the production wants to tell me otherwise, that is fine. I am sure you "were like a family" and are all "BFFs to the end!" I am just reporting on what comes across onscreen.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After seeing the film once, I would have normally moved on to another film. I would have written up my piece on <i>Shark Exorcist</i> and posted it. Readers would have found that I thought it was a genuinely shitty film that had been made solely because both shark films and exorcism films are pretty popular on video and cable these days. The filmmakers did the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup thing and jammed sharks with exorcists and got <i>Shark Exorcist</i> out of it, with very little care given to the film’s coherence. But it was not enough for me to merely surmise how such a film could be conceived, nor would that single serving of it satisfy my curiosity. I knew during the first viewing that I would probably need to watch the film a second time. Unluckily for me, the film was barely over an hour in length, which made it all the easier for me to return.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">And Lo! There Came a Second Viewing...</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A couple of days later, I went back onto Amazon Prime and I watched the film called <i>Shark Exorcist</i> a second time. Everything that bothered me about the film the first time still bothered me, only just a little bit more than before. Not that long ago, I fought my way through a couple of viewings of an ultra-low budget Canadian shark film called <i>Marina Monster</i>, and I thought that I had truly scraped the bottom at that time. I thought it must be the worst shark movie of the lot, but what kept saving <i>Marina Monster</i> slightly was that its cast seemed to be having a ball making the film, and it came through in the end product. It’s was ultimately kind of shaggy and lovable on its own terms, and while it was still a dreadfully made film, I harbored no ill will toward it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I gained no such further feeling from <i>Shark Exorcist</i>. The vibe that I continued to get was <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“Let’s just make this thing as incoherent and crazy as we can make it.”</span></i> On that level, director/writer Donald Farmer has succeeded. One might claim it is meant to be intentionally surreal, but there is no art behind this. I've met some shitty filmmakers in my life, and they couldn't pull this type of rubbish off at all. <i>Shark Exorcist</i> doesn’t gain this effect from a subtle juxtaposition of scenes of opposing polarity via clever editing technique. This is just bad filmmaking from start to finish; a collection of jumbled together, barely written scenes – some are obviously improvised – with roughly half the action held together with the barest wisp of a plot line.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I eventually watched <i>Shark Exorcist</i> a third time, but before I get to that woeful event, I want to relate a synopsis of the film to you. I did the write-up during the second viewing, partly because I usually knock out a full synopsis of every shark movie on repeat viewings to use for notes when I write about the film later. This time, however, I was truly struggling to get a grasp on what I had just seen. And while I don’t normally post full synopses of shark films on this site (unlike my animation blog, <i><a href="https://cinema4celbloc.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Cinema 4: Cel Bloc</b></span></a></i>), I felt in this case, to truly understand what I went through, you either need to watch <i>Shark Exorcist</i> on your own, or take my advice and simply read what you are missing. You <i>will</i> thank me for it...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Shark Exorcist – The Synopsis</span></b></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Just call me Ol' Blinky..."</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Open on a cemetery alongside a lake. We hear a news report of a serial killer named Vanessa Blair, accused of the torture and death of 13 local boys and girls. Blair is also a Catholic nun (of course, she is; that is the level on which this film operates). Sister Vanessa walks through the cemetery more like a seductress than a woman of god, and when he is not far from the water, she announces to the world that <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“The world has betrayed me, so I shall take my vengeance!”</span></i> I’m not sure how she was planning to achieve that just hanging out on the edge of a lake, but luckily for her, a blonde woman runs up from out of nowhere, and spins the murderous nun around to face her. Proving you should probably watch what you say to someone announcing their intention of taking vengeance in a public venue, the woman yells, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“You bitch! Everyone knows what you did!”</span></i> Sister Vanessa calmly pulls out a large knife and stabs the blonde woman to death and then drags her body down the steps into the water. She says, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“Lord Satan! Accept my sacrifice! Send me an avenger!”</span></i></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Hey! Get this! The director thinks he's Quentin Tarantino..."</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As if on cue, a large shark of indeterminate CGI-cursed species with yellow eyes is shown swimming past. Or swimming somewhere. There is no connection between the fake water of the generic computer-animated scene and that of the location shooting or its two actresses. The shark might be 100 miles out or ten feet away, and we wouldn’t ever know the difference. With the shark’s appearance, the opening credits crawl over a background of blood red waters at dusk: <b><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">SHARK EXORCIST</span></i></b>.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Want to lay bets they are just texting each other?</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cut to bimbo trio, Lauren, Emily, and Ali, arguing in a car on their way to go swimming at a lake. <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">“Just normal lake stuff,”</span></i> </span>is what one says they are planning. On the banks of the water, Em and Lauren lay down towels to tan, while Ali leaves an angry message on her boyfriend’s phone. Unbeknownst to her friends, Ali goes out into the lake to take a quick swim. She is barely out in the water, when the shark with yellow eyes apparently attacks her. Once more, no connection between the CGI scene and even the color of the water in which Ali is thrashing and flailing. Ali’s attempts to sell that she is being attacked by anything at all looks more like she is caught in quicksand in an old Republic serial. Her friends finds her with the least serious-looking “bite” every committed to film, on top of which quite obviously fake blood gushes as she convulses.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oooh... that's a pretty serious ketchup roll-up you've got there, lady...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ali is rushed to the hospital, and immediately after, we get a news report about a series of (thus far) non-fatal shark attacks. Later, Emily collects Lauren from a Dave and Buster’s, and wonders why Lauren never visited Ali in the hospital (from which she has been released after being <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“miraculously healed from the shark bite”</span></i>). Emily then does the detective work in her head to figure out that Lauren has been cheating with Ali’s boyfriend Bobby behind Ali’s back.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'll bet she does... I'll bet she does. Nudge nudge, wink wink...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cut to: Nancy Chase, the annoying host of a low-budget paranormal show called <i>Ghost Whackers</i>. (This was not the first moment in the film, and it won’t be the last) when I thought that perhaps this film was meant to be a porno originally.) Nancy and her rotund cameraman are filming at a spot at Paris Landing, a State Park along Kentucky Lake in Buchanan, Tennessee. (This is where the bulk of the movie was filmed and takes place.) To give her show a scoop, Nancy Chase hopes to create a psychic link with any of the three women who have died from the attacks thus far. (Apparently, the shark has been busy since Ali’s attack but we haven’t seen a single bit of it.)</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">American Apparel ads just keep getting weirder...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At one point, with her cameraman behind her in the frame as she talks to him, she then turns to the real camera filming the movie as if it is a second camera on her show. (It makes no sense dramatically, but it is one of the few genuinely funny moments in the movie.) She kneels on a rock at the edge of the water and begs the waters to tell her of the evil that lurks there. Shockingly, she throws herself onto the grass and undulates upon it, thrashing about wildly and then speaking in a growling voice: <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“These waters are mine! Do you hear me? Mine! For-ev-er! I will eat your flesh and swallow your souls! For-ev-er!”</span></i> Nancy thrashes about some more, almost a smile as the result of orgasmic joy on her face.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Psst! Girl on the left! Tell Ali she can't have the lead <br />role if she is going to continue to dress like shit.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Three weeks later, Ali looks fine (except that she isn’t). Emily mentions the “chunk bitten out” of her leg (even though there was never a chunk shown to have been bitten out of her), and thinks that Ali seems strange considering she almost died. Ali mentions that sometimes she wishes she had died (and so do I). I hope this is because Ali is a terrible dresser and has incredibly poor posture for a girl who is supposed to be “hot” (within the context of the film, that is). We then see Ali walking along dressed in tight clothes. She attracts the attentions of a hunky guy. She tells him she is going to the lake with or without him, so of course, because he is a Southern gentleman, obliges and gives her a ride.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Wow! You are so wet!" "Dude, we're in WATER!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the lake, the pair hit the water and start flirting and caressing each other. Ali slips below the water and disappears. The guy wonders where she has gone, and then we see the yellow-eyed shark under the water in pretty much the same shot as we have seen repeated thus far. The guy gets pulled under weakly and tries to wade to shore, because he is only standing in water the whole time. It is not deep enough to have as much water as the shark is shown to have around it when swimming, unless it turned out there is a secret reveal that the shark is only two feet long. (That would have made for a much better and more intentionally hilarious movie, and I beg the director to redo this film with that element in place. We have had Mini-Me; why not Mini-Jaws? And yes, I am aware of the recent movie Piranha Sharks…) The dopey, surprisingly clumsy guy nearly gets to shore but the shark chomps him – without the guy ever being in the same shot – and he is mysteriously pulled under the water. There is then a huge explosion of fake blood from the water and the CGI shark swims away.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unusual for a film to review itself right at the halfway point...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nancy Chase is filming another segment of <i>Ghost Whackers</i>, where she claims the shark is possessed by the devil. Without warning, another TV host – <i><span style="color: #0b5394;">“</span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Brianna Bennett from Ghost Fakers”</span></i> – arrives to dispute her claims, and then walks off in a huff. (It’s stupid but it’s also a little bit funny. The actress playing Brianna Bennett sells her part in this one bit far more effectively than the actress playing Nancy Chase does throughout the entire picture.)</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>No joke... if you blow this picture up, you will see several <br />acting books sitting on the priest's desk in front of him.</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, because we have yet to get anywhere near an exorcist, we meet a Catholic priest. The priest looks at pictures of demonic statues and drawings on his phone (because that is what Catholic priests prefer to do with their time) and has a flashback of a ceremony in a cemetery where three women are trying to summon a <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“dear sister”</span></i>. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anyone looking for a truly exotic candleholder?</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We see a brunette woman in a negligee smeared in blood stumbling through the cemetery, falling down, and thrashing about as the trio of women summon her. The tall black woman who leads the ceremony also seems possessed by a spirit, but the other two with her think she is faking it. The black woman collapses on the ground, and the brunette woman seems to smile in victory. The black woman’s eyes suddenly open. End flashback.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don't know if sharks have erogenous zones or not, <br />but it would probably help if the shark were real first...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On a playground, we meet an adult woman who runs about acting like a child. Not just a child, but a demented one. She holds a pair of rubber sharks in her hands. A blonde woman stands at one end of the playground and the crazy lady runs up to her. The blonde says <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“I like your sharks”</span></i> and the madwoman says <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“Sharks are so cool”</span></i> and then stages a pantomime fight between the rubber sharks. We then see the blonde is Ali, the recovered victim from the attack. She takes one of the rubber sharks and caresses it. <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>“I think they’re beautiful. Perfect creatures.”</i></span> </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This scene turns twice as creepy if we find out the girl <br />with the shark always acts this way, on and off the set...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The mad girl asks Ali what she likes to do and Ali says, in the tone of a five-year-old which lends a certain creepiness to the seduction scene, <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>“I like to get wet.”</i></span> The girl holds her hands over Ali’s eyes and leads her to a swimming pool, where slinky, softcore-style music starts playing while Ali strips down to her bikini for a swim. The crazy girl says, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“OK, I can take a hint”</span></i> and has a one-piece on under her clothes. She dives wildly into the water and then starts playing with her shark in the pool, spitting water out of its rubber mouth. Ali starts to talk about heartbeats beating faster and then disappears. Suddenly, Ali wakes up in bed in a cold sweat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back at the lake, Nancy and her camera guy go to the edge of the water again, and Nancy begins to summon the spirits as before. She is taken over by the demon and thrashes about yet again upon the ground. That’s it. There seems to be no purpose to the inclusion of this scene except to expand the running time.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Hey, did ya forget me? This is my better side this time."</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the lake, Ali is seen with an a different and unknown woman of the not-so-apparently crazy variety whom she has apparently seduced. The yellow-eyed, demon-possessed shark appears under the water again, and the unknown woman is pulled under. We then see the now supposedly dead woman floating on the water, really none the worse for wear except that she has some fake blood floating on top of her. (No really gore effects thus far, just weak attempts at bloodletting.) We see a sign half submerged on its side in the water that reads: <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“Danger Shark Sighting -- No Swimming.”</span></i></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As Doug Benson likes to say, this movie is not for emetophobes...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In a scene filmed at the American replica of the Greek Parthenon in Nashville, Tennessee, <i>Ghost Fakers</i> host Brianna follows her now possessed rival, Nancy, as she stumbles through the monument. Nancy turns on Brianna and knocks her down, and then – because you can’t do a film with the word “Exorcist” in the title without doing so – vomits right on her.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I warned you! Try not to throw up yourself now!</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We next see a burly man out for a jog. He runs around for a bit, and then sees the body of the last girl killed by the shark still floating on top of the water. He too throws up (because we have already established it is that sort of film, so why not?), and then says, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“She’s still kinda hot. I’d still do her.”</span></i></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not the first time in this film that people in <br />ankle-deep water freak out over a shark...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Outside a restaurant, an impatient blonde girl yells at two other blondes, who are sorority pledges, and takes them to the lake, where one of their initiation rites is swimming where the shark is supposed to be. (So, is it an initiation rite of long-standing? If so, does this shark return each year for Pledge Week?) The frightened pledges go out only up to their ankles, but are scared to go out deeper. The mean girl in charge of hazing them tries to coax them into going deeper from the bridge, telling them <i><span style="color: #0b5394;">“I won’t tell anyone you’re a big pussy!”</span></i> That’s all fine and well, but she should have known such words would get her a visit from the yellow-eyed shark instead. We don’t see the attack, only the reactions of the other two girls, but for once in this film, it is clear that the mean girl has been eaten.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Man, if I was ever possessed by a shark, maybe <br />I could live in a fish tank too!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Despite how inconsequential most of the scene-hopping seems to be, <i>Shark Exorcist</i> still insists that it has a plotline worth continuing. We next visit the priest as he has a talk with Emily about Ali, during which he tells her about another shark attack at the same lake about a year ago. Emily tells him about how weird Ali is acting. He says there is something he needs to tell her but, of course, the director will make sure we are not going to hear it.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Bingo! Bring me my own fish tank!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At a local carnival, Ali walks about stalking her friend Lauren and Ali’s old boyfriend, Bobby, who up to this point, has been discussed but not seen. It’s a weirdly silent scene, without any dialogue at all. Lauren flirts with Bobby, but he eventually leaves her and she gets upset. Ali stalks them all through the carnival, stopping briefly at a fish tank that is sitting out on the edge of a booth for reasons unknown except that the filmmakers need Ali to stare into a fish tank. Which she does, and soon we realize that dear Ali has a set of shark teeth of her own, which she looks at in her reflection in the glass. Ali hunts down Bobby and bites him on the neck. The priest and Emily arrive and take Ali away to perform an exorcism.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The power of Peter Benchley compels you!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During the exorcism, the Ali/Demon tricks the priest into coming closer and vomits pea soup on him. Ali gets loose and offers a deal to the priest. He must surrender himself to save Emily. Ali takes possession of his body and Ali is freed. Then Mike the priest, now possessed, bites Emily on the arm. The moon opens up another dimension via a rip in the sky and the shark with yellow eyes flies down from the sky at Ali and Mike as Emily escapes.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What a waste of technology...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A blonde bodybuilder driving a truck arrives at the lake. She walks slowly to the shore and lays down a towel, stalked by a weird guy the entire way. She strips down to her bikini and lies down for a tan. She sits up to use her cell phone as the guy nears and the camera zooms in on her body. With some creepy music playing in the background, the guy starts snapping pictures of the girl and reaches out to touch her but never quite does. While she lies there unaware, he flips through the many photos he has taken. (You think he would save that for later, but maybe he wanted to make sure he got some prime shots.)</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5hEVr1xdCak/Weqs-MrZPlI/AAAAAAAAOCo/O96jLWRe4rMKm3xmjFw0TEONb3vZSAVjQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Exorcist_2015_32_knifenun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="337" data-original-width="794" height="168" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5hEVr1xdCak/Weqs-MrZPlI/AAAAAAAAOCo/O96jLWRe4rMKm3xmjFw0TEONb3vZSAVjQCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Exorcist_2015_32_knifenun.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Mmmmm... needs more corn syrup!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, the poor girl sits up like she senses something, but the stalker is long gone. She gets up and picks her things up to leave. Suddenly, she turns around and the killer nun has returned! The girl screams as Sister Vanessa stabs her several times. Sister Vanessa then stands barefoot in the water of the lake, licks the blood off the knife, and yells <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“Hail Satan!”</span></i> Suddenly, a woman – the one killed at the beginning of the film – climbs out of the water and pulls Blair into the water. The yellow eyed shark is seen swimming again through the lake but never takes part in the violence, apart from possibly controlling it.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pxExu0nRBXI/WeqtAzO3zjI/AAAAAAAAODQ/13R3ICPdK40pW714zDmwfhI79t-YV74XgCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Exorcist_2015_43_breach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="336" data-original-width="795" height="168" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pxExu0nRBXI/WeqtAzO3zjI/AAAAAAAAODQ/13R3ICPdK40pW714zDmwfhI79t-YV74XgCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Exorcist_2015_43_breach.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Did ya know I could do tricks too? Eat my butt out, Flipper!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lauren sits on the dock at Paris Landing, while Emily staggers up bleeding from her bite from Father Michael. Emily takes off her top so she is only in her bikini. (These girls are always ready to go swimming.) Lauren confronts her about what has happened, and Emily tells her <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“You don’t want to know.”</span></i> She dives into the water and disappears. The shark leaps out of the water and kills Lauren, who dies screaming. Cue the closing credits.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gh9dfDSHS_w/WeqtB_DHhkI/AAAAAAAAODY/GgJnYlqJCdoqKqjsFNGu1rH-1Gwly_4ewCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Exorcist_2015_45_sharkgirl2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="336" data-original-width="793" height="168" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gh9dfDSHS_w/WeqtB_DHhkI/AAAAAAAAODY/GgJnYlqJCdoqKqjsFNGu1rH-1Gwly_4ewCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Exorcist_2015_45_sharkgirl2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I wouldn't be surprised to found out this is just what this <br />girl does every single day, and so they just turned on the cameras...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But only 62 minutes have passed. That's right... all of this nonsense was crammed into 62 minutes, and it still felt like it was going so slow at times. But don't fret, because there are still 9 minutes of running time left! </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why not fill it with a scene featuring a</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> red-haired, young woman with a backpack – and very clearly a shark toy fetish – walking through a mall and staring at the fish in an aquarium in front of a Claim Jumper restaurant? </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-27CSRcvsrpM/WeqtC3lnqLI/AAAAAAAAODg/qxvMmq3arf4lE9VcO9UJDhRDt_6ZTSBHQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Exorcist_2015_47_sharkrub.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="335" data-original-width="794" height="168" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-27CSRcvsrpM/WeqtC3lnqLI/AAAAAAAAODg/qxvMmq3arf4lE9VcO9UJDhRDt_6ZTSBHQCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Exorcist_2015_47_sharkrub.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Tell me you're a mako... a LONGfin mako! Ohhhhhhh...."</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She sees some shark puppets through the window of the aquarium store, and the girl wanders in and looks at stuffed sharks and tries to pick one out she seems to love. She claps the pectoral fins together (because, you know, sharks do that all the time in real life) and tries out numerous ones, finally picking up almost a dozen of them. Later in the aquarium, she studies the fish and seems to be looking for something in particular. She has a rather sad look on her face and then she starts to cry. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2hO7mx0gYOA/WeqtDRItGFI/AAAAAAAAODk/zj6It0Gm0mMIRqdmFOhlP4e_sTFpOVwogCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Exorcist_2015_48_orangespew.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="335" data-original-width="791" height="168" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2hO7mx0gYOA/WeqtDRItGFI/AAAAAAAAODk/zj6It0Gm0mMIRqdmFOhlP4e_sTFpOVwogCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Exorcist_2015_48_orangespew.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lon Chaney used little painful wires to get that same nostril effect...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She begins to leave the mall but stops and leans against the wall, rubbing a rubber shark against her face, in an increasingly sensual way. The woman stumbles back into the aquarium area and looks through the glass and then drops the shark as she turns back towards the camera. Glaring at the camera, she spews orange gunk from the corners of her mouth and through her teeth, and then a negative camera effect with a red filter is employed before the screen turns black and the remainder of the credits roll.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pbFGH9DiHSg/WeqtDyLD-hI/AAAAAAAAODo/7aE8GAfEI8E0RkLLt0gJJiEyL7p7V3WfACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Exorcist_2015_50_negative.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="337" data-original-width="792" height="170" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pbFGH9DiHSg/WeqtDyLD-hI/AAAAAAAAODo/7aE8GAfEI8E0RkLLt0gJJiEyL7p7V3WfACLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Exorcist_2015_50_negative.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"I see red when I see you/Fan belts break at 3:00 a.m...."</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We’ve just been puke-rolled.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But still – incredibly! – there are yet another 50 seconds of running time left!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cut to: a scene outside the fake Parthenon in Nashville again, where the still possessed Nancy Chase is on the loose. Completely out of her mind, she runs her hand over her face as vomit continues to roll out of the corners of her mouth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We’ve been puke-rolled again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>THE END</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the close of that second viewing, and after having made notes of the entire thing, I was convinced that, at the very least, <i>Shark Exorcist</i> was simultaneously both the worst exorcism film that I ever seen, the worst killer nun film that I have ever seen, <i>AND</i> the worst shark film that I have ever seen. And this would have been the end of it too, if I hadn’t gotten hurt at the end of last October. My intentions of writing up a piece on <i>Shark Exorcist</i> in conjunction with <i>Countdown to Halloween</i> died at the same time. I intended on picking up the piece again about a few months later once I started getting positive treatment for my injury. I started to work on the review, but felt as if perhaps too much time had passed.<br /><br /><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">The Stunning Return to EVEN MORE PAIN!</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And so, not wanting to pay $2.99 on Amazon Prime again (the first two viewings were under the same week’s purchase), I thankfully managed to find a full copy that someone in Greece had thrown up on YouTube and watched the film called <i>Shark Exorcist</i> a third time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I can tell you passionately that I will watch nearly anything at least once, and I can impart to you the reasons why I returned to this film (as I did above) for both a second and a third time, but I say now that I really need to rethink my entire film-watching philosophy. I saw <i>Shark Exorcist</i> again and sat in numbed silence for several minutes after finishing it. This time it came off to me like a purposefully disrespectful and irresponsible attack on the art of film itself. I can find something redeemable in even the very worst of films, but there is nothing here. I am not sure that I have encountered such stultifying awfulness as that which I did in watching <i>Shark Exorcist</i>. Where I thought after the second showing that it was, in separate terms, the worst exorcism, shark, and killer nun movie of all time, this time I had to truly ponder if perhaps I had actually found filmdom’s nadir, the ultimate low-point of creative expression.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know it’s not film at its lowest point, but it sure seems like it. I know there is still far worse out there. But let me have this moment. Returning to <i>Shark Exorcist</i> again was like revisiting an old school bully thirty years later and begging, <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">“Please kick me in the ‘nads again… and again… and once more for ol’ Central High!”</span></i> </span>There was nothing happy about the revisit, there was nothing pleasurable to be gained. There <i>is</i> such a thing as <i><span style="color: #0b5394;">“</span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">so bad, it’s good”</span></i> and now I swear there is also such a thing as <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“so bad, it must be destroyed for the good of mankind”</span></i> or <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>“so bad, its very making must have caused the Elder Gods to have been summoned and now we are on the brink of Apocalypse!”</i> </span>(Well, we are anyway thanks to Trump, but this film beat him to it by at least a month.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I attempted once more to write about <i>Shark Exorcist</i> and could find no way to proceed. There was no foothold from which to ascend. I was torn between warning the world against the film and just shutting up about it and shelving everything. And I almost did. I finally had to admit: <i>Shark Exorcist</i> broke my brain. But I knew that the only way for me to stop <i>Shark Exorcist</i> was to become a <i>Shark Exorcist</i> exorcist myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unlike my other sites, the <i>Shark Film Office</i> lie fallow for several months after my injury until I revived it in time for <i>Shark Week 2017</i>. Even so, it has been hard to get back into a groove, because <i>Shark Exorcist</i> has been lurking there the whole time, just begging me to even try to sit down and write about it. Now, another <i>Countdown to Halloween</i> is here, over a year since I first encountered <i>Shark Exorcist</i>, and I knew there was only one way to get this horrid thing behind me. I posted in my <i>Countdown to Halloween</i> previews on my sites that I would be writing about at least two shark films for the season,<i> Shark Exorcist</i> and <i>Sharkenstein</i>, figuring that would make me commit at least halfway to doing the deed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And now, the moment is at hand. I am done with the film. The beast has been fought and defeated. The fight was not with the shark itself, but with the film, poorly conceived and even more poorly rendered, and strewn with unnecessarily fluorescent puke. Let it lie in a pool of its bilious sick and go unwatched by all but the most wretched of souls throughout all eternity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At least until <i>Shark Exorcist II: The Heretic</i> is filmed. Then I will have to start all over again...</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">RTJ</span></i></div>
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-42076854666445606152017-09-28T23:51:00.000-07:002017-09-28T23:51:26.226-07:00Planet Shark: Predator or Prey... The Experience | Boise, ID 2017-07-08<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last thing that I ever expected in visiting my parents in Boise, Idaho during the first week of July this summer was sharks. Landlocked Idaho? I am sure the Syfy Channel could cook up some bull sharks invading the state's lakes and rivers, but here in the real world, I never thought that the laser shark focus that rules my life currently would follow me on my vacation.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OK store, great window...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But there my stepmother Jo Ann and I were, visiting a small bookstore in Meridian, when I had one of those moments that some chalk up to luck or kismet or fate or pure coincidence... and I will not rule out any of those things in this case (even if I don't believe in the first three of them). The store visit itself was pretty disappointing; the owners seemed pretty convinced they had a dandy little place, but when I asked to see their non-fiction section and it turned out to be a mere three bookcases with books piled in every direction in no discernible order at all, I knew that it wasn't likely that the store would end up on my list of places to (irregularly) visit again. (Even if I wanted to do so, I don't even remember the name of the store...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And yet, there was something worthwhile posted on their front window... a small poster for an event called <i>Sharks After Dark</i>, some sort of adults-only party taking place at the Discovery Center of Idaho. The picture was clearly that of the now infamous Left Shark costume, but what was the connection with sharks? The Discovery Center of Idaho had no aquarium (I had been told), so was it just a costume party of some sort? Or was there something actually going on at the museum that involved sharks? And in Idaho, no less?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not that it mattered really, I thought at first. The date for the party was July 21 and I left the state to go back home on the 9th. So attending the party was out of the question. But what was the shark connection? I kind of put it aside for a day or so, but finally jumped onto the Discovery Center's website and found out there was indeed some sort of shark exhibition taking place there. The next question, raised by Jo Ann, was whether it was just one of the overly kid-friendly activity events at the museum, since Discovery Centers everywhere in the world generally focus primarily on entertaining children with science. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Luckily, I looked up the name of the exhibition – <i>Planet Shark: Predator or Prey - The Experience</i> – on Google and found the website for the company that developed the displays and installs them in museums worldwide. From the pictures on their company website, Planet Shark is meant to be an all-ages event that immerses the visitor in the world of sharks almost completely, using life-size models (even of a whale shark), video projection, fossils, props from movies, real diving and research equipment, and computer interaction. It sounded and looked exactly like the sort of thing I would love to visit. And so I did...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On my last full day of my trip, Jo Ann dropped my father Darrell and I off at the Discovery Center to give us a couple of hours to go through the entire thing. There was hardly anything at the Center to betray the fact that they had some sort of shark event going on, besides the numerous posters for the <i>Sharks After Dark</i> party later in the month. There were all sorts of large signage on the front and along the road about their Science of Idaho Water exhibit, but I would later walk around the building and find a few small vertical banners spaced out along the length of the museum, but I really couldn't see them when we drove past on our approach to the parking lot. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After paying for admission, the next room was nothing but kids playing with a wide array of science apparatus and games – mostly involving the "Idaho water" they were promoting, and I actually started to doubt the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">visit. But then I looked past the kids' room and saw the wide, smiling jaws of a full-sized <i>Carcharodon carcharias</i> inviting us to join her...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C-BZEn2hXiY/Wc2iw00EMkI/AAAAAAAANpo/Cxl3M4fVCmAeofYpkEU53hZS2ia4bbbdACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_02_entrance_inside_museum_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1428" data-original-width="1600" height="356" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C-BZEn2hXiY/Wc2iw00EMkI/AAAAAAAANpo/Cxl3M4fVCmAeofYpkEU53hZS2ia4bbbdACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_02_entrance_inside_museum_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We were told by a museum guide that the bodies of the shark <br />models were made of fiberglass, but that most of the teeth <br />were from the actual species of shark.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QiZG7FXCY9I/Wc2ixNnWIdI/AAAAAAAANps/MEhi1o16JO0zp_zVdFjNrhHt1vIHLpFwACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_04_Megalodon_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QiZG7FXCY9I/Wc2ixNnWIdI/AAAAAAAANps/MEhi1o16JO0zp_zVdFjNrhHt1vIHLpFwACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_04_Megalodon_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My father Darrell just chillin' with a replica of the jaws<br /> of an ancient Megalodon.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Rys0UZaS_E/Wc2ixk0oTtI/AAAAAAAANpw/esSuTmT3bMMl17qJN_Dnk2SFx_aKlrblQCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_07_Great_Hammerhead_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Rys0UZaS_E/Wc2ixk0oTtI/AAAAAAAANpw/esSuTmT3bMMl17qJN_Dnk2SFx_aKlrblQCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_07_Great_Hammerhead_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Great hammerhead shark.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5FvRJvnL5Qs/Wc2iyPnRdzI/AAAAAAAANp0/zEfjmSNIJigghzuWaVpWjhqOUk_MJ60RgCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_08_Helicopron_Whorl_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5FvRJvnL5Qs/Wc2iyPnRdzI/AAAAAAAANp0/zEfjmSNIJigghzuWaVpWjhqOUk_MJ60RgCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_08_Helicopron_Whorl_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A really cool fossil featuring a Helicoprion whirl. Seriously, if <br />you haven't seen what one of these extinct sharks looked <br />like, you should really Google it. Mind-blowing...</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T5frNRdRKXo/Wc2iys1UOKI/AAAAAAAANp4/OaXLHLbew4wKsEKJ6l_zqgucuCyaU8j0ACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_09_Teeth_Display_with_Dad_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T5frNRdRKXo/Wc2iys1UOKI/AAAAAAAANp4/OaXLHLbew4wKsEKJ6l_zqgucuCyaU8j0ACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_09_Teeth_Display_with_Dad_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My dad looking at the huge display of fossilized shark <br />teeth. That's a porbeagle shark on the far wall to the right.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0tdUkhkVaXk/Wc2ptSMwiOI/AAAAAAAANqM/OdJY9JE8550H_ZPDnToT9_xBNa4TstWpACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_11_26000_teeth_lifetime_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="1600" height="186" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0tdUkhkVaXk/Wc2ptSMwiOI/AAAAAAAANqM/OdJY9JE8550H_ZPDnToT9_xBNa4TstWpACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_11_26000_teeth_lifetime_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">According to the sign, there are over 26,000 teeth in this pile, which <br />roughly approximates the number of teeth the average shark goes <br />through in a lifetime...</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VaJ6iE04Fqo/Wc2ptC-e5lI/AAAAAAAANqI/yqeAkhNVrREaiLDnXyjkaY6PYMZGkK1ogCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_13_megalodon_tooth_pile_2_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="954" data-original-width="1600" height="237" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VaJ6iE04Fqo/Wc2ptC-e5lI/AAAAAAAANqI/yqeAkhNVrREaiLDnXyjkaY6PYMZGkK1ogCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_13_megalodon_tooth_pile_2_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>A whole lot of fossilized Megalodon teeth.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td><br /><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-omwCbuh6zZM/Wc2ptWex6wI/AAAAAAAANqQ/XoIpD5brGZYvoidJeWlNdX2_3tsxG-eKACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_14_Top_of_the_Food_Chain_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-omwCbuh6zZM/Wc2ptWex6wI/AAAAAAAANqQ/XoIpD5brGZYvoidJeWlNdX2_3tsxG-eKACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_14_Top_of_the_Food_Chain_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The sign leading into the second room. For the record, this is a sawfish, <br />which is more closely related to rays, with its gills on the underside of its <br />body like others in its family. Sawsharks, however, are actually sharks, with <br />the gills on the side of their heads. They also have a pair of barbels halfway<br /> down their snouts, and their teeth can also come out and be replaced, <br />while a sawfish's teeth do not.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-spvQSJKscH0/Wc2ptpj-nmI/AAAAAAAANqU/2rp__DEZVXITWgH6tAVTj4Pfxyo3tsFngCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_15_Jaws_Line_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-spvQSJKscH0/Wc2ptpj-nmI/AAAAAAAANqU/2rp__DEZVXITWgH6tAVTj4Pfxyo3tsFngCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_15_Jaws_Line_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was a bit surprised to see this quote on the wall in the second <br />room, but it is an excellent line...</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KCtK9XsiwBE/Wc2pt9fTkaI/AAAAAAAANqY/Hv74H3ae_1YvhhutYZZ_fPoOGa6PeNt6QCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_16_Half_Sharks_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KCtK9XsiwBE/Wc2pt9fTkaI/AAAAAAAANqY/Hv74H3ae_1YvhhutYZZ_fPoOGa6PeNt6QCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_16_Half_Sharks_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, these are not exceedingly rare half-sharks, just partial models <br />strewn along the walls of the second room...</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xxTo_r8FpnY/Wc2pt4UTnBI/AAAAAAAANqc/XnWtYcJcKi0Ex8G8w9X-ZBpDkAzBXkRUQCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_17_Hall_of_Jaws_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xxTo_r8FpnY/Wc2pt4UTnBI/AAAAAAAANqc/XnWtYcJcKi0Ex8G8w9X-ZBpDkAzBXkRUQCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_17_Hall_of_Jaws_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Top of the Food Chain room had about a dozen display cases <br />showing the variety of shark species by comparing sets of their respective jaws.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0cbcyqQTkOs/Wc2puKU_wpI/AAAAAAAANqg/feAkMoeimq8RMa1VOJVi10Fgi3DgbIC_QCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_19_Goblin_Shark_Jaws_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0cbcyqQTkOs/Wc2puKU_wpI/AAAAAAAANqg/feAkMoeimq8RMa1VOJVi10Fgi3DgbIC_QCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_19_Goblin_Shark_Jaws_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>My favorite set of shark jaws in the exhibit belonged to the goblin <br />shark. Love how gnarly the teeth look in the center at both the<br />top and the bottom.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--2fWT5-4a_4/Wc2pufgi5KI/AAAAAAAANqk/bcImDVj1_BU1MiUAgyjNzL8h1i88rTFHgCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_21_Tiger_Shark_jaws_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1252" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--2fWT5-4a_4/Wc2pufgi5KI/AAAAAAAANqk/bcImDVj1_BU1MiUAgyjNzL8h1i88rTFHgCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_21_Tiger_Shark_jaws_web.jpg" width="312" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My favorite shark after the great white... the lovely and <br />powerful tiger shark.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BYjmXDIjzyc/Wc2pumODm7I/AAAAAAAANqo/An55jPEjxy8I9VTvOqEje6q90wbEykUkgCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_24_Shark_Attack_Files_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BYjmXDIjzyc/Wc2pumODm7I/AAAAAAAANqo/An55jPEjxy8I9VTvOqEje6q90wbEykUkgCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_24_Shark_Attack_Files_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The third room's theme was about interaction between sharks and <br />humans. Unfortunately, part of that story involves attacks on humans,<br /> and so part of the room was dedicated to video featuring<br /> interviews with shark attack victims.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ceDB_nDjFnE/Wc2pu_YSQ-I/AAAAAAAANqw/e2C2imKWe3U6jD_aiVdJK-NJ-ZXCwvRnACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_27_Signed_Jaws_Benchley_Fox_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ceDB_nDjFnE/Wc2pu_YSQ-I/AAAAAAAANqw/e2C2imKWe3U6jD_aiVdJK-NJ-ZXCwvRnACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_27_Signed_Jaws_Benchley_Fox_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>One display case featured mass media that showcased sharks, including <br />several issues of Time Magazine throughout the years where sharks made <br />the front cover for various reasons. This copy of the book "Jaws" is <br />not only signed by its author Peter Benchley, but was given as a gift <br />to Australian Rodney Fox, a professional spear-fisherman who became <br />one of the most famous shark attack survivors of all time.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Jc25mVO1I4Q/Wc2pvu0GXFI/AAAAAAAANqs/aYi-o5VnRuoe1khmoMNOhKWb5CbI6KePACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_28_half_cage_Jaws_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Jc25mVO1I4Q/Wc2pvu0GXFI/AAAAAAAANqs/aYi-o5VnRuoe1khmoMNOhKWb5CbI6KePACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_28_half_cage_Jaws_web.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>The shark in the movie version of "Jaws" was supposed to be abnormally <br />large, and to achieve this effect in a couple of underwater shots, Steven <br />Spielberg's team employed a couple of sized-down shark cages. The <br />half-sized cage above held a stuntman named Carl Rizzo, who was a little <br />person. The scene where the shark is thrashing about at the top of the cage <br />occurred when the live shark they were filming got caught in the cage's<br /> bridle and panicked. However, Rizzo was not in the cage at the time and <br />refused to go into it after he saw the shark's behavior. The footage was <br />dramatic enough that they used it in the film anyway.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hL3FV875DLs/Wc2pwT7NIzI/AAAAAAAANq4/VYwoiff2n9YpKP2lbgRayuU2EQUZ3YizQCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_29_quarter_cage_Jaws_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hL3FV875DLs/Wc2pwT7NIzI/AAAAAAAANq4/VYwoiff2n9YpKP2lbgRayuU2EQUZ3YizQCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_29_quarter_cage_Jaws_web.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is the quarter-sized cage used in the scene where the shark <br />attacks the cage directly. Note the bent bars in the front and on one <br />side. (This is the scene where Hooper escapes and hides on the ocean floor <br />while the shark switches its attack to Brody and Quint on the Orca.) A dummy<br /> was used inside the cage for this scene.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jo7FAXqozJk/Wc2pwS6_dsI/AAAAAAAANq0/Oy1AS9rIfugc1GLP0YLr5egcMD0rPqbrwCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_30_dummy_Jaws_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="933" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jo7FAXqozJk/Wc2pwS6_dsI/AAAAAAAANq0/Oy1AS9rIfugc1GLP0YLr5egcMD0rPqbrwCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_30_dummy_Jaws_web.jpg" width="232" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And here is the one of the dummies that were used in <br />the cages, and to the right on the floor of the display <br />is the dive suit employed by Carl Rizzo.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HCn-UVkxUV8/Wc3jdW3cZWI/AAAAAAAANrQ/R_jdxgv3n_EF5aRU0aFmkYRxjEPa_qBpgCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_31_Fox_cage_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HCn-UVkxUV8/Wc3jdW3cZWI/AAAAAAAANrQ/R_jdxgv3n_EF5aRU0aFmkYRxjEPa_qBpgCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_31_Fox_cage_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>This is a real shark cage that belongs to Rodney Fox's dive expedition company.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xQB_EKD74LM/Wc3jdRsUxQI/AAAAAAAANrM/_1ScwecuBGI_9pSdRyqzovofB83QugUEgCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_32_Fox_Cage_view_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xQB_EKD74LM/Wc3jdRsUxQI/AAAAAAAANrM/_1ScwecuBGI_9pSdRyqzovofB83QugUEgCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_32_Fox_Cage_view_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The view looking out through the gaps of the shark cage at the great<br /> white model (note tracking device on its dorsal fin) behind the cage.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LfQet-6KjXA/Wc3jdYJ2lpI/AAAAAAAANrU/U9VgURo0tHEHRizKmXTNkohmUPPDC9lEQCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_36_Me_Rodney_Fox_cage_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LfQet-6KjXA/Wc3jdYJ2lpI/AAAAAAAANrU/U9VgURo0tHEHRizKmXTNkohmUPPDC9lEQCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_36_Me_Rodney_Fox_cage_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>My dad took this picture of me inside the shark cage. <br />He's been waiting to lock me in a cage for decades...</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p68YCewGxkE/Wc3jd9XES6I/AAAAAAAANrY/J_dBlJhJASUIAUJ0ej79J_wmdagw812rACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_37_Versus_Comparisons_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p68YCewGxkE/Wc3jd9XES6I/AAAAAAAANrY/J_dBlJhJASUIAUJ0ej79J_wmdagw812rACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_37_Versus_Comparisons_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>A nifty display case where it set up "Tale of the Tape"-style battles <br />between a bull shark and an American alligator, and also a <br />great white shark and an Australian saltwater crocodile.</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some cool floor graphics led you throughout the display from one <br />room to the next. Here we are heading to the fourth and saddest <br />room of all...</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0V7KjZRTLf4/Wc3jeY_gq-I/AAAAAAAANrk/TP2DTlod8gM3JF3kR_vKV0oqs91tfsKSwCLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_40_Sylvia_Earle_quote_2_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0V7KjZRTLf4/Wc3jeY_gq-I/AAAAAAAANrk/TP2DTlod8gM3JF3kR_vKV0oqs91tfsKSwCLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_40_Sylvia_Earle_quote_2_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>The fourth room was about mankind's relentless and purposeless <br />slaughter of sharks, whether intentional or otherwise. The worst part <br />was watching the videos they were showing in here. I honestly <br />had to take a knee in this room, and I will admit that the room <br />"got a little dusty for me".</i></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bmAPxkkKhwk/Wc3jegqa3QI/AAAAAAAANro/U_ShjvM1xDcV8gqYHp6BcSGNrkA4uynmACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_41_shark_fins_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bmAPxkkKhwk/Wc3jegqa3QI/AAAAAAAANro/U_ShjvM1xDcV8gqYHp6BcSGNrkA4uynmACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_41_shark_fins_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A display case full of illegally captured shark fins, probably <br />confiscated in a raid. There were actually two cases full of <br />them, but one had enough impact on me.</span></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DPUBb-PcMXI/Wc3jfCfp4VI/AAAAAAAANrs/nLLEPF0MRbM5oJmBTh4ae8E6tE61BwI-ACLcBGAs/s1600/Planet_Shark_42_shark_products_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DPUBb-PcMXI/Wc3jfCfp4VI/AAAAAAAANrs/nLLEPF0MRbM5oJmBTh4ae8E6tE61BwI-ACLcBGAs/s400/Planet_Shark_42_shark_products_web.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Products of the shark finning trade. Probably the most depressing thing in the room <br />was a live clock projection on the floor of the room that would start at zero each <br />hour and as the minutes passed, a tally of the sharks killed (on average) per <br />hour throughout the world would mount up to a horrific level. When I shot video <br />of the clock, it still had ten minutes left in the hour and the count was well past <br />9,000 sharks killed.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I took around 150 photos in my trip to Planet Shark in Boise, and so these photos only represent some of the highlights of my visit. Because I had visited the company's page and saw numerous slides of their exhibit at various museums, I noticed there were larger elements that would not fit comfortably in the relatively small environs of the Discovery Center of Idaho. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I mentioned earlier, a life-size model of a whale shark was part of the exhibit elsewhere but was not doable apparently here. Likewise, a walk-through projection room where the visitor is surrounded on all sides by video of sharks and other ocean life. I am keeping my eyes on where Planet Shark is going to be installed in the future. (It has already been to places like Phoenix and Honolulu, and I see it is booked for Wichita next summer.) I am hoping it will get installed somewhere relatively closer to home in So Cal so that I can spend even more time with the exhibit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Keep chompin'!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
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<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-47833020082098139872017-09-21T14:19:00.001-07:002017-09-21T14:34:05.456-07:00Car-charo-toons: Plane Dumb (1932)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8LcorO_O6Sw/WcQs1Z_jwzI/AAAAAAAANpQ/Qv4UGq-krOcNNJHXoKYxYt1DF5tOVhM4QCLcBGAs/s1600/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Plane_Dumb_1932_488_364.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="488" height="297" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8LcorO_O6Sw/WcQs1Z_jwzI/AAAAAAAANpQ/Qv4UGq-krOcNNJHXoKYxYt1DF5tOVhM4QCLcBGAs/s400/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Plane_Dumb_1932_488_364.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YF0rxHGqav8/WcQSwbKBmYI/AAAAAAAANno/qz2ouclM-KsOEcW8Pz4Uj4E6XjKWbqQGgCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_01_title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YF0rxHGqav8/WcQSwbKBmYI/AAAAAAAANno/qz2ouclM-KsOEcW8Pz4Uj4E6XjKWbqQGgCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_01_title.jpg" width="200" /></a><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plane Dumb</b><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (1932, Van Beuren Studios) </i></div>
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dir.: John Foster and George Rufle</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">TC4P Rating: 4/9</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, I spent some time years back on this site heaping light praise upon a much-neglected series like Van Beuren's Tom and Jerry shorts, and then I ran into the film </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plane Dumb</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. The title </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plane Dumb</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> could very nearly describe the actions of the filmmakers as they contrived to create this wannabe </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Amos N' Andy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> homage. Apparently, donning blackface not only helped disguise the very white Tom and Jerry as they roamed about Africa in 1932, but it also lowered their IQs to the negative, changed your speech patterns automatically, and somehow also mad their disarrayed and lighter-colored hair instantly become short, dark and curly. Ah, the magical properties of a common makeup kit!</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k3IsSB2tEyY/WcQSwSRtzsI/AAAAAAAANnw/fS01xKlp5_APcfhdR5Wk90dcglHAnL3jACLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_02_flying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k3IsSB2tEyY/WcQSwSRtzsI/AAAAAAAANnw/fS01xKlp5_APcfhdR5Wk90dcglHAnL3jACLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_02_flying.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I read a couple of reviews for this cartoon short years ago where each of the writers complained that Tom and Jerry were traveling to Africa "for no good reason". Let me state this from the outset: Tom's plan is to fly non-stop across the ocean to Africa so as to bring fame and fortune to the pair. As simple and understandable as that. Non-stop flight... cross the ocean... fame and fortune. If this seems like "no good reason" to the reviewers, well, then they are probably not clued into the fact that when this film was made, the world was only five years removed from Charles Lindbergh's transatlantic flight to Europe. And although Lindbergh had done it already, there were plenty of daring aviators in those days. The feat was, given the limits of technology at the time, still quite a challenge to accomplish, and many more people besides Lindbergh continued to attempt it well after he achieved the goal. Just because you are first up the mountain doesn't mean that the next 10,000 mountaineers are just going to give up trying. It's the impulse of exploration that exists to this day, and it seems like enough of a "good reason" to me. (Not that I am going to try it myself... I have cartoons to watch.)</span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SOhvCM2NTgo/WcQSwxVinMI/AAAAAAAANn0/n-Yunkdz--4gwI4Ojr1NZtwrPCJTvrH5gCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_05_shake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SOhvCM2NTgo/WcQSwxVinMI/AAAAAAAANn0/n-Yunkdz--4gwI4Ojr1NZtwrPCJTvrH5gCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_05_shake.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now that I am done with the philosophical portion of this review, let's jump back to the film, which still has "no good reason" behind its creative impulses. How else to accept the continued harassment and degradation of other races by the mass media controlled by the white establishment of the day? As said, Tom wants to fly across the ocean to Africa so that they can become heroes, but Jerry couldn't care less. He sits bored and listless in the passenger seat, but expresses worry that they might not be safe in Africa. Then Tom hits Jerry with his 'brilliant" idea to put on blackface makeup to disguise themselves on the "Dark Continent," which they do. Soon, the pair are transformed completely (as described in the first paragraph). </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They shake hands at the completion of their task, and as their voices switch to <i>Amos 'n' Andy</i> mode, they both shake hands and say at the same time, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Well, I'm sho' glad to see you again!"</span></i></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-91jugYs_Heg/WcQSxDr6SFI/AAAAAAAANn4/Z_lv0xqxpicx8n13iNDcyQiQlyMl_mNdgCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_06_float.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-91jugYs_Heg/WcQSxDr6SFI/AAAAAAAANn4/Z_lv0xqxpicx8n13iNDcyQiQlyMl_mNdgCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_06_float.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Apparently, though, the disguise also whisks away Tom's abilities to fly the plane, and he loses control and dives the craft down into the ocean. The biplane's wings rise to the surface, and the now-darkened (the makeup does not wash off) pair climb onto the wings of the plan and dangle their feet in the water. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Well,"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> starts Jerry, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"I wonder how far it is to there!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Tom's answer: </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"'bout twenty knots!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Jerry scratches his head at this, and asks, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>"How come they got knots in the ocean?</i></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"</span></i> Tom shrugs his shoulders, and answers, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Tropical wave gets heavy, it gets tangled, it makes knots!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> To prove his remark, he points out several waves which meet with other wave crests and knot up three times in succession, following comedy's Universal Rule of Threes.</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YeYJNdsiwaU/WcQSxhGmpwI/AAAAAAAANn8/9VxQFYQNUyMtQbDdcBDxi1_xqONoldJMwCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_09_octopus_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YeYJNdsiwaU/WcQSxhGmpwI/AAAAAAAANn8/9VxQFYQNUyMtQbDdcBDxi1_xqONoldJMwCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_09_octopus_2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An octopus suddenly climbs up and with a huge smile, happily puts an arm over each of the lad's shoulders. Both men shriek, but Jerry is even more alarmed, and cries, </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"I tol' you I didn't wanna go to Africa!" </i></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Wait a minute!"</span></span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">interrupts Tom, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Is we in Africa?" "No we ain't in Africa!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is Jerry's reply. Tom asks, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Does it look like we is gonna get to Africa?" "It shoooooooo' don't...,"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> fears Jerry. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Then what has you gotta kick about?"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The octopus, probably alone in his opinion, finds this hilarious, and laughs uproariously. It kisses Tom full on the cheek, but Tom takes this as an attack and punches it in the nose. (Yeah, I know that octopuses don't have recognizable noses, but this one does... a big, black button nose.) The punch from Tom ires the octopod, who briefly spanks the gangly man on the bottom, and then the huge mollusc spins his arms and wallops the pair (Tom on the rear and Jerry in the head) over and over again in bicycle fashion. The octopod then dives back into the water.</span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A4X1cKGn83E/WcQfwDywYPI/AAAAAAAANoQ/AwcR1vOXV5I40OU2lo-p_BM1Y_Kgq_logCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_11_sharks2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A4X1cKGn83E/WcQfwDywYPI/AAAAAAAANoQ/AwcR1vOXV5I40OU2lo-p_BM1Y_Kgq_logCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_11_sharks2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just after that attack, a crowd of sharks are shown swirling about the pair's feet. Tom and Jerry take turns both accusing each other good-naturedly of tickling the other one's feet, but then their mood changes when shark after shark starts breaches from the water and leap over their heads. <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Dinner station's in the front,"</span></i> jokes Tom as he ducks his noggin down against the wing. <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"</span></i></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Look here, man! </span></i><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These is shawks!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jerry continues, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Will they eat ya?"</span></i> to which Tom, still ducking his head, replies, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"If they don't, they'll sho' mess you up plenty!"</span></i> </span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pwDdjwxbjE0/WcQfwS7pZHI/AAAAAAAANoM/xf_qDZdEzoEAyij_hGURLqw2al7pfdrbgCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_15_sawfish2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pwDdjwxbjE0/WcQfwS7pZHI/AAAAAAAANoM/xf_qDZdEzoEAyij_hGURLqw2al7pfdrbgCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_15_sawfish2.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MYQp0wywQxw/WcQfw1SMa-I/AAAAAAAANoY/Vs-UrUp_Y6UiPtP34hQ77sjCY3w75t8vgCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_18_run3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MYQp0wywQxw/WcQfw1SMa-I/AAAAAAAANoY/Vs-UrUp_Y6UiPtP34hQ77sjCY3w75t8vgCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_18_run3.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">From below, a large sawfish skewers the plane's wings right through their center and starts to saw through, so the lads are forced to springboard off the end of the wings and then run along the top of an long rainbow of breaching sharks. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>"We running, ain't we?</i></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"</span></i> asks Jerry, and Tom finishes with, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"But we ain't gettin' anyplace!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The last shark goes past, and the pair drop into the briny drink. They struggle to stay afloat, but because we don't see Tom and Jerry swim before this in the cartoon, it is hard to tell if their inability to swim is because they are now black (which would play off the once commonly held stereotype that blacks are bad at swimming) or if they just can't swim period. (I am banking on the stereotype, given when it was made.)</span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CeRDZv_1OLY/WcQfxOElYOI/AAAAAAAANoc/ADBKNqhhSGYPWRl5U-BXx-c3szd9mn0AACLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_24_atop_whale2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CeRDZv_1OLY/WcQfxOElYOI/AAAAAAAANoc/ADBKNqhhSGYPWRl5U-BXx-c3szd9mn0AACLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_24_atop_whale2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A large ominous-seeming black whale zooms through the waves and then the film cuts back to the boys struggling in the water. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Suddenly, they are standing upright with their feet still just below the water, and Jerry proclaims, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Hey, sista! We been saved by a submarine!"</span></i> The whale pops up with the pair on his back well above the water, and Tom says, </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"No! This is a whale!"</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jerry wonders where it is going, and Tom says, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Ask him. I don't speak whale-ish!"</span></i> The whale continues to cut through the water at a high rate of speed towards the shore. They decide to try to stop the whale by sitting <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"on his nose to smother him"</span></i>. When they do, the whale spouts them high up into the air, and eventually aims them towards the shore by adjusting its spout. The boys are deposited with a rough tumble or two onto a patch of ground, where just moments before, a crowd of assorted jungle animals were watching their approach. (The lion, for future reference, ran into a nearby cave...)</span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XU5HVGrPn24/WcQfx8raKpI/AAAAAAAANok/mZfVVswvEe0VWjC_rLW_w5vb_seirax7wCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_31_dark3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XU5HVGrPn24/WcQfx8raKpI/AAAAAAAANok/mZfVVswvEe0VWjC_rLW_w5vb_seirax7wCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_31_dark3.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After they are charged by a pair of strange-looking imaginary animals, Tom and Jerry run into the cave, which is cloaked entirely in complete darkness, so that only their eyes, enormous lips, and single-toothed mouths can be seen. Their heads swell up to fill the screen as they carry on with their <i><span style="color: #0b5394;">"</span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">What was dat?" "Where iz we?"</span></i>-style routine. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At one point, Tom's eyes get all weird and googly for the briefest of moments, merely for sake of adding more weirdness to the scene. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Soon enough, when the lights come back on, they get assaulted by a huge bat and then the lights go out again, leaving us once more with their lips and eyes only. A deep growl is heard in the darkness, and we assume it is the lion we saw walking into the cave earlier. <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Jerry,"</span><span style="color: #0b5394;"> </span></i>says Tom, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"turn loose my leg!" "I ain't holdin' yo' leg!"</span></i> When Tom reaches the point of begging his diminutive friend with <i><span style="color: #0b5394;">"</span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Jerry! Jerry! Please say 'Yes, you iz holdin' me!',"</span></i> then the lights come back on and the boys face off with </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">a quartet of black skeletons. The skeletons sing in gospel fashion, naturally in four-part harmony...</span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0g_gLHXbCos/WcQfy5t9hlI/AAAAAAAANos/CAbWPCFEMLAZ92BFRvY_zZMQboAq1I3jgCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_34_quartet_light.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0g_gLHXbCos/WcQfy5t9hlI/AAAAAAAANos/CAbWPCFEMLAZ92BFRvY_zZMQboAq1I3jgCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_34_quartet_light.jpg" width="200" /></a><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Good lord, I'm ready</span></i></div>
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Indeed, I'm ready</span></i></div>
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Oh, good lord, I'll be ready when the great day comes!"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sitting all the way to left, the fourth skeleton takes a brief, bass solo...</span></div>
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Good glory hallelujah!"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They repeat the refrain, and at the end, the bass skeleton finishes solo with </span><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"the great day comes" </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">again. The four black skeletons then burst into pieces and lie all about the floor in front of the boys. Tom and Jerry shriek and run out of the cave in fear and end up being surrounded, from behind every object imaginable, by an entire tribe of headhunters. The lads run for their lives as spear after spear is thrown past them. For some reason, with the spears flying all about the pair, Tom and Jerry both wipe the blackface from their faces, but it helps them not at all in escaping from their predicament. They end the film in a cliffhanger, in danger for their lives with no chance of escape dangling before them. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The film irises out, and not a moment too soon.</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSSXOfXDUQk/WcQfzKdCgTI/AAAAAAAANow/W1b437R0rkEOnsdEJO-fy4KGOLjbZ5FogCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_36_chase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSSXOfXDUQk/WcQfzKdCgTI/AAAAAAAANow/W1b437R0rkEOnsdEJO-fy4KGOLjbZ5FogCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_36_chase.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Like most of the film, the ending seems to not matter, for the only purpose seems to have been to get Tom and Jerry into blackface so they could carry off what must have been some already pretty standard and tired vaudeville routines involving the supposed behavior of blacks in the 1930s. (There are probably even more subtle digs piled in here that meant more in the time period, but I am unaware of them.) That a cartoon series that could actually be so fun would resort to gags like this for a joke here and there would be more bearable, but to need the use of such a gimmick for an entire film is unforgivable. On top of this, never once is a real laugh approached within its far too long seven-minute running time. (They don't even reach the shores of Africa until 5 minutes into the thing.)</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4zBg5VMEd0s/WcQSwfKVccI/AAAAAAAANns/JxfeF-bGq7IkVWlQWoKiCdbPUZ3tLte0ACLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_03_Africa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4zBg5VMEd0s/WcQSwfKVccI/AAAAAAAANns/JxfeF-bGq7IkVWlQWoKiCdbPUZ3tLte0ACLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_03_Africa.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If anything saves this film from being a total waste of time, it is a few, brief scenes, most of them involving the ocean creatures Tom and Jerry encounter. There are those marvelous shots of the mass of sharks swirling about beneath the floating wings and the tickled feet of the boys. I also like the scene with Tom and Jerry running along the backs of the voracious, leaping sharks, and the scene where the whale is seen cutting through the water, where he rather humorously filters a bunch of fish out through his gapped teeth. I also like the scene where the plane is flying above Africa, and the Dark Continent is shown with what must be about a half-mile of jungle spread out across its obviously not-in-scale relief map. It's the one part of the film that actually strikes me as being wittily designed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'll admit it openly. I do have a certain fascination with Hollywood films that use blackface, not just as a gimmick, but sometimes as the impetus for the plot. I'm embarrassed when I see Eddie Cantor, Judy Garland, or Fred Astaire (all of whom I adore otherwise) or Al Jolson (whom I don't) don the makeup, and with it the stereotyped garb, mannerisms and characteristics that come with the disguise. But I can't turn away. It's a fascination like that with a trainwreck. You want to think better of the people involved, especially when they are entertainers you appreciate normally, but then you realize they were just as complicit in even the casual racism of the day as everyone else, including their audiences.</span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TzuIFSiRIa8/WcQiiHls31I/AAAAAAAANpA/__HtRk8WC6g0Fhia2Xb8Gc77axmxxM01ACLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_29_dark1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TzuIFSiRIa8/WcQiiHls31I/AAAAAAAANpA/__HtRk8WC6g0Fhia2Xb8Gc77axmxxM01ACLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_29_dark1.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you make it deep into Al Jolson's <i>Wonder Bar</i>, which is a horrid exercise in how <i>not</i> to make a musical comedy for the first 3/4 of the film (though there are several tidbits of pre-Code verbal naughtiness worth hearing), you end up viewing Busby Berkeley's production of <i>Goin' to Heaven on a Mule</i>, with its <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Here you is in Hebbenly Land!"</span></i> lyrics and its giant dancing watermelons... and your jaw just drops. I will admit that I found some of this pretty funny when I was a teenager and young adult, but then I made a solid attempt to raise my game and tried to put all the lazy stereotyping that I learned growing up in the '70s in Alaska behind me. Along the same lines, you watch some scenes like this in older films, and</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> wonder how some of these white stars could perform like this, especially given that they were often surrounded by real blacks with real talent, and one wonders how they were able to shut off that part of their brain that said, "This is the wrong thing to do." Or were they just too trapped in the studio system and the overreaching norms of the time to be able to do anything about it at the time?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />Now, the Van Beuren Studios were not Hollywood: they were New York-based, and right across the street from the Fleischers Studio. (According to Maltin, Fleischer artists would sometimes moonlight at Van Beuren due to their proximity, which is not a surprise.) Many of the early Fleischer films, too, dealt with such stereotypes, though often (but not always) in a much subtler fashion, sometimes incorporating characteristics into their plots and drawings, but not always in the then-commonly accepted "blackface" mode.</span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AfP7wuI-kuc/WcQiiE_IY6I/AAAAAAAANo8/C5NXjOoOJ58IOtUtPn9BelhAIFw4aorwQCLcBGAs/s1600/Plane_Dumb_1932_32_bat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AfP7wuI-kuc/WcQiiE_IY6I/AAAAAAAANo8/C5NXjOoOJ58IOtUtPn9BelhAIFw4aorwQCLcBGAs/s200/Plane_Dumb_1932_32_bat.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was thinking at first that perhaps the voices used by Tom and Jerry while in blackface were white performers such as on Amos 'n' Andy, but according to IMDb, the parts here are played by seminal African-American songwriters and performers of the day, Aubrey Lyles and F.E. Miller. This surprised me, though I have yet to find another source to back this information up. Despite this, no matter who provides the voice or fills the role, outrageous and incorrect racial stereotypes are just <i>that</i>. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Van Beuren stoops pretty low with </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plane Dumb</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, bringing us that common mode and sending it straight into the commode. The film has a few cute moments, but stinks otherwise, and a definite step down from other films in the Tom and Jerry series (but not that many steps down). They did the wrong thing in this picture, especially given that it is not only a slap in the face of another race of humans, but it is a badly done slap in the face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />But you can't look away... especially to Dixieland.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And in case you haven't seen it:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #e06666;">[This review was originally written and published on May 2, 2006. It has been updated with a rewrite, a video link, and new photos and republished on September 21, 2017.]</span></i></span></div>
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-35574621996506486802017-08-08T15:15:00.000-07:002017-08-08T15:18:29.444-07:00Wait! There's More... SharkFest 2017 Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, there was more shark stuff going on during <i>Shark Week</i>. Not willing to fully step on their neighbors’ toes nor put that much money into competing against them, Nat Geo Wild loves to promote themselves as having the <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“#2 week for sharks”</span></i> in television. <i>SharkFest</i> has been matching up against <i>Shark Week</i> for a few years now, and it is decidedly a lesser beast in terms of number of shows. If you don’t count previews and recaps (and I don’t) <i>Shark Week</i> tossed out 16 new hours of shark documentaries for 2017. <i>SharkFest</i> has just four. But the quality, thanks to being part of National Geographic, is of equal measure to anything on Discovery (some might even argue more quality, but I see them being pretty equal, considering that some of the same people work on shows for both networks).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Where Nat Geo Wild has Discovery beat is in being self-effacing. Discovery likes to use humor </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">to talk about their shows</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, especially on </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark After Dark </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">or in their promos using Seal the singer being devoured during an oceanside concert, but Nat Geo Wild comes at the viewer with tongue firmly in cheek. (They do call themselves <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“#2”</span></i> after all…) In 2015, standup comedian Rory Scovel did humorous promos and interviews for <i>SharkFest</i>. They have also sent a guy in a shark outfit out on the street to interview passers-by, and used those in promos. This year, knowing that all-time Olympic champion Michael Phelps had been corralled by Discovery to promote <i>Shark Week</i>, Nat Geo Wild got his <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“#2”</span></i> guy, fellow gold medal champion Ryan Lochte – infamous for things we won’t discuss here – and put him in a series of promos for <i>SharkFest</i> in a small rowboat, with a guy mixing chum in a bucket and three shark fins circling them in the water. They had no intent of using Lochte in the same way that Discovery did Phelps; they just wanted whatever pull they could get of viewers from <i>Shark Week</i> over to their side.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">However, thanks to DVRs and online streaming (legal, of course), we can haz both, along with a cheeseburger. You can watch both </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">SharkFest</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and everyone can play nice alongside each other because if both channels are not just paying lip service to protecting sharks, then we all have the same goal here. Me, I am never going to gripe if someone is going to throw even more shows about sharks my way. I would even invite a third network to start some other shark programming, but we also had </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> on Syfy over the past week, so I guess we will have to invite a fourth…</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How about A&E siccing a bunch of sharks on the abhorrent family on </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Duck Dynast</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">y? Or Animal Planet could do the same with the ridiculous cast of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Finding Bigfoot</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">? Or maybe the one who wins the heart of the next </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Bachelorette</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is the one who manages to swim away from Shark Alley in South Africa dressed in a seal costume? Sure, you think at first that none of these will help the public image of sharks, but if you really ponder it, they can only be doing humanity a favor...</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Shark vs. Predator</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">(premiered Sunday, July 23, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2C-3NasoQwg/WYlL2yywSNI/AAAAAAAANiE/oIi10rtuPV8LacO6yy-phMqtMAVbN5rFQCLcBGAs/s1600/SharkFest_01_Shark_vs_Predator_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="583" data-original-width="1200" height="193" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2C-3NasoQwg/WYlL2yywSNI/AAAAAAAANiE/oIi10rtuPV8LacO6yy-phMqtMAVbN5rFQCLcBGAs/s400/SharkFest_01_Shark_vs_Predator_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Right off the bat, I have a bit of a problem in watching this episode. I have seen a couple of previous editions of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark vs. Predator</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, but I would be hard-pressed to be able to differentiate it from the others. My attitude towards any edition of this series is pretty much the same. I see them mostly as shark snuff films. Nothing against the show, though; I realize this is mostly collected footage of sharks in danger, sometimes taken by fisherman or tourists, and sometimes from other docs where something unexpected happened. The tables get turned on sharks and we see a variety of other predatory species taking on the toothy wonders and getting a meal out of it (in the case of most of them) or even some weird kicks from doing it (in the case of orcas). </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark vs. Predator</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> shows turn out to be a little more shocking than most shark docs, where the main concerns are mostly tagging and being safe while diving with sharks. Here, the attacks usually lead to blood and almost always death on the part of the shark.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sometimes even by other sharks… A blacktip that gets on a fisherman’s line grabbing bait is attacked from below by a much larger bull shark and bitten right in half, blood pouring out of its body into the water. A small whitetip reef shark patrols a reef looking for a meal, but is almost turned into one itself by a huge moray eel. Whitetips often feed on moray eels, but in this case, the bigger eel manages to grab the shark by its head and attempts to swallow it headfirst. However, the shark is still too big to swallow and is let go mostly unharmed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are shown examples of saltwater crocodiles and their hunting methods. We then see a saltie meeting up with a bull shark in a river in northern Australia. A famous three-legged, 18 ft. saltwater croc named Brutus is caught on camera grabbing a bull shark, pushing the shark up onto the bank of the river where it can’t breathe or swim away. The attack is only caught with still photography, but the series of photos captures all of the action.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Amateur footage shows a hammerhead caught on a fisherman’s line, which is then attacked by an even bigger tiger shark. It wrestles with the hammer for a bit while it tries to get a decent grip, and then finally drags the hammer down into the depths. Next, we meet a pod of orcas off the coast of New Zealand who decide to take on a sevengill shark. Working as a team, one orca delivers a tail slap on the surface that stuns the 10 ft. shark enough for another orca to deliver a death bite. Then the rest of the orcas, including their calves, bite the shark. There is different footage of a similar orca attack on a sevengill, but this time one of the adults clearly presents the shark to the calves, perhaps teaching them how to hunt sharks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Off Costa Rica, three orcas are filmed forcing a large tiger shark to the surface over and over to tire it out, taking nips at it along the way. Surprisingly, the orcas may be attempting to turn the shark over to put it into tonic immobility to put the shark to sleep. A giant Pacific octopus off the Northwest coast of the U.S. takes advantage of a passing spiny dogfish, itself about 4 feet long. There is a brief struggle, but the dogfish gets away this time. Not so lucky is a similar dogfish in the Seattle Aquarium, who meets his fate against another large Pacific octopus, who gets a death grip on his tank mate and won’t allow it to breathe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A sea lion off California – usually the target of great whites there – takes out a young thresher shark and thrashes its body back and forth, tearing the body apart in gruesome fashion. In South Africa, a cape fur seal rewrites the usual script there and go after a blue shark, one of the fastest sharks in the ocean. But cape fur seals are just as fast. In some stunning photographs, a fur seal grabs the shark around the gills, pretty much taking out the shark’s ability to breathe in one bite. In the last section of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark vs. Predator</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, we get to the most surprising entry: the Goliath grouper, which can grow to 500 lbs. in size. We see video footage of a fisherman taking a photo of a small shark that he has on his line, but then a Goliath rises up and grabs the shark away for his own. The closing footage is of a pod of false killer whales ganging up on an unknown species of shark, surrounding it and mostly likely using sonar to trap and overwhelm it. (The overhead video seems to be from either a drone or chopper.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All in all, an interesting grab bag of a show informing us that sharks aren’t always quite at the top of the food chain in some cases. For the same reason that my wife has problem with </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet Earth</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> episodes – death, death, death, mostly of small cute critters – I am too shark-positive to want to watch an hour of just sharks being killed too often. But once in awhile, I guess you need to be reminded of how things look from the other side. </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>– TC4P Rating: 6/9</i></span></b><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Tiger Shark Terror</span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Monday, July 24, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-I5SQ7hflzx0/WYlL2yPgjBI/AAAAAAAANiA/yTUCWzNYwvAAsc1knwiKmrvGwIZKJzKwgCLcBGAs/s1600/SharkFest_02_Tiger_Shark_Terror_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="1200" height="221" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-I5SQ7hflzx0/WYlL2yPgjBI/AAAAAAAANiA/yTUCWzNYwvAAsc1knwiKmrvGwIZKJzKwgCLcBGAs/s400/SharkFest_02_Tiger_Shark_Terror_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Tiger Shark Terror</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> takes us to the Bahamas, where pro diver Eli Martinez wants to learn if tigers are more aggressive and opportunistic at night. (Um… aren’t most sharks?) In summer of 2014, a photographer disappeared at night from Tiger Beach, a sandbar area 20 miles north of Grand Bahama Island, and from the name, obviously well known for tiger sharks. Thrill-seekers diving at Tiger Beach often feed tiger sharks by hand. After setting up a bait box on the shallow ocean floor, Eli meets up with a couple of sharks early, one of them a large female tiger named Dirty Girl, a fairly new shark to the area. She moves right in on him and the bait box, and he has to deflect her with his hand pushing her nose away firmly. She turns back around and comes at him again slowly, and he smoothly and deftly handles her to push her away again. Finally, she circles the bait box as two other tigers arrive. He works with the tigers for an hour but has to leave when his air gets low. As he swims with one tiger, one brushes his leg from behind and startles him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But Eli wants to test them at night, not in the day. He dives again in the darkness to see how much more aggressive they will be. Using floodlights from the boat and flashlights to provide the only illumination on the sea floor, he finds no tigers in the water, just a lemon shark. Eli goes into the darkness on his own (this is getting a little bit cuckoo), and eventually runs into a rare hammerhead at Tiger Beach, the first he has seen in 10 years here. However, he sees no other tigers, not even the three he saw in the day. So, where are the tigers?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eli travels 80 miles to South Bimini to visit the Shark Lab institute, where Dr. Matt Smukall helps him understand even more about tiger sharks. They visit a juvenile tiger that Smukall caught and placed in a special pen the night before. Smukall plans to release it after tagging it with a backpack tag which is outfitted with an accelerometer. After they release the backpack, 24 hours later, they locate the tag after it released itself from the shark’s body and review the data. It shows that the juvenile was far more active at night than during the day, with short bursts showing it was possibly involved in either hunting prey or even fleeing from bigger sharks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The backpack probably won’t fit a large tiger, so Matt plans to use a bungee cord with a hook to strap the tracker around the tiger’s tail when he next meets one. Eli takes Matt with him on his return to Tiger Beach. There are a lot sharks in the water, mostly tigers. It is mentioned that a female tiger that they name Jitterbug stands out from the rest. Keeping them completely busy on pass after pass at the divers and bait box, and they decide she is the perfect candidate for the accelerometer. But she is too feisty to get the tag on her tail, so Eli puts her in a state of tonic immobility to calm her down enough for Matt to swim up behind her to place the tag. It is a success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Later, on a night dive on the reef, Eli and Matt swim through the darkness but see no tigers, just Caribbean reef sharks milling about the reef. They are surprised by something in the dark, but it is just a lemon shark. Its eyes glow green in the glare of their flashlights, and the narrator tells us that some sharks – including the tiger sharks the divers are seeking – have a special layer over their eyes called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">tapeta lucida</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> – the same that cats have – that allows them to see better in the darkness.A southern stingray, a favorite tiger snack, is seen resting on the bottom. They are certain tigers come here, but the dive is over for the night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To get proof that the tigers are hunting there after dark, they need a visual trap. Eli and Matt plan to attach a camera to a tiger’s belly, which will probably require a team effort to get it around the very large shark, with one diver on each side (the average waistline of an adult tiger shark being more than six feet). They direct a tiger over the open camera belt on the ocean floor but the shark tries to eat it, and the camera is damaged by tiger.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just like on Shark Week, one of the biggest cliches of shark docs is encountered when we get to a “last chance” scenario. The narrator tells us that there is </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“less than an hour of daylight left.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Back on the boat, they use zip ties to rig a second camera into a fin cam, which will allow them to hopefully retrieve footage of nighttime hunting. The big female tiger, Dirty Girl, returns and they attempt to attach fin cam. The captain of the boat sends Eli a message that he has only </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“5 minutes left; 5 minutes ‘til sunset.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Other tigers get rambunctious, but they are able to corral Dirty Girl long enough to attach the fin cam and accelerometer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next day, after the galvanic releases on the tags detach from Dirty Girl, they find the two devices and check out the info. The fin cam footage shows Dirty Girl engaging in yo-yo diving, which usually means that the shark is using the method to rest, but Dirty Girl seems to be more active in her speeds. They theorize she may be heading up to the surface to hunt sea turtles and seabirds, and then diving really deep (tigers will go up to 2000 feet deep) to look for stingrays. The camera had popped off first, but the accelerometer failed 3 hours later and finally popped off. It is possible that its failure means it may have eventually been crushed by water pressure. What they do know is that the deepest Dirty Girl went was at least 1000 feet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is a really marvelous special, one of my favorites this year. Tiger sharks are pretty much my second favorite shark species – I think they are beautiful creatures and possibly the classic shark design – and I love specials that concentrate on them. The scenes of Eli interacting with the sharks and seeing his ability to keep control on most situations is awe-inspiring. As I said earlier, crew from </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> specials also work on Nat Geo Wild shows, so it is not surprising to learn that the fine underwater footage of this doc was filmed by cinematographer Andy Casagrande, who has been pretty much ubiquitous, both onscreen and off, on </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> the last few years. </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>– TC4P Rating: 8/9</i></span></b><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Shark Swarm</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">(premiered Tuesday, July 25, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I4xUaetZYcU/WYlL24n0-HI/AAAAAAAANiI/vZOPkrDY3OYMPreBAodATLBhY1a4fXmLgCLcBGAs/s1600/SharkFest_03_Shark_Swarm_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="659" data-original-width="1200" height="218" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I4xUaetZYcU/WYlL24n0-HI/AAAAAAAANiI/vZOPkrDY3OYMPreBAodATLBhY1a4fXmLgCLcBGAs/s400/SharkFest_03_Shark_Swarm_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I mentioned during my </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week 2017</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> post for Nights 4 and 5 that the episode titled </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Storm</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> could have just as easily been called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Swarm</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> except for a rival special on Nat Geo Wild. Well, this is that special.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just like with Discovery Channel, Nat Geo Wild specials are prone to statements like “No one has ever travelled this far south in the Pacific Ocean to study a pelagic shark swarm and the social interactions of a forced feeding event.” Wow… could you be a little more specific, please? I kid, but it sometimes seems like every special has to find that one thing they are doing first or best, and then stresses it as much as they can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Swarm</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, Dr. Riley Elliott is a New Zealand shark scientist who theorizes that blue sharks and makos may swarm together peacefully due to a particular catalyst, such as a rare feeding event like a bait ball or sea lion congregation. Setting up a small test situation, as Elliott chums the water with tuna chunks and oil, he mentions how remarkably hard it is to actually get sharks to come to you in the open ocean, even if you are chumming the water. Elliott gets into what appears to be a half shark cage with an open top, in which he stands to observe the action. Eventually, a shortfin mako arrives, and Elliott mentions that is rare to find one this close to the shore. The mako has a series of gashes around its head area, and Elliott notices that the mako has absolutely no concern or fear about anything else in the water and attacks the chumsicle bait without hesitation. Next a large blue shows up, and then a second, to join the mako in feeding.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The show moves to Malpelo Island, 300 miles off Columbia’s coast, which locals believe has a magnetic source (most likely volcanic, which would explain it) that draws huge swarms of scalloped hammerhead sharks. Together with the Cocos and Galapagos Islands, the area formed between the three island groups is sometimes known as The Hammerhead Triangle. The sharks seem to gather together throughout the day, but disperse at night to feed on their own, joining up together again in the early hours of the morning.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back in New Zealand, Dr. Elliott continues to study the interaction between makos and blues in the area, to see them gather together in a swarm when presented with a rare food source. He chums a half mile area again, slicking the water with fish oil to attract even sharks in deeper water. This time blues are first, and then finally a mako arrives. It takes the bait and disappears, but a second mako arrives, and then the first one comes back again. The sharks swim in parallel fashion to establish dominance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the islands of French Polynesia at Tatu Manu village, blacktip reef sharks are shown being handfed from shore by local villagers. But six hundred feet away on the coral reef, gray reef sharks have to fend for themselves. They slowly build into a feeding frenzy as the annual spawning population of camouflage grouper builds above the reef. Once the spawning starts, in which the grouper tend to go into a trance-like state leaving them unaware of their surroundings, the sharks strike.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Elliott is still running his chum line in New Zealand, and sees an adult female blue shark start to compete with a juvenile male over the bait. Suddenly, a massive, experienced mako arrives, and Elliott observes the younger male blue hold tight to its territory and send the mako away. Another mako arrives and is again sent off by the young blue. The numbers of sharks continue to grow, and even after Riley gets out of the water, more arrive. The blues and makos have grown into a small swarm, seeming comfortable thus far with each other’s presence. The immediate group is 4 blues and 2 makos, but there seem to be more sharks on the periphery, possibly 10 blues and 3 makos altogether.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In Tatu Manu, the gray reef sharks compete with each other over 15,000 camouflage grouper for the next two hours, but then the grouper suddenly disperse. Over the next 11 months, five to ten other fish species will reproduce in the same area, leading to continued swarms of gray reef sharks at Tatu Manu. Back at the mako/blue swarm off the Kiwi coast, at first it seems there is hierarchy to the attacks on the chumsicle, but it slowly gets thrown out the window as the intensity ratchets upward. Eventually, the blue sharks start to turn on one another in competition.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is some crossover with </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Storm</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> as both shows handled the same subject. The Cocos Islands off Costa Rica are mentioned here (and shown in a map) in discussing The Hammerhead Triangle, but </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Swarm</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> only covers hammers swarming near Malpelo, while in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Storm</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, its team of scientists went directly to Cocos and used both a submersible and diving to study hammerheads and other species. Other than that, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Swarm</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> forges its own identity in different places like New Zealand and Tatu Manu. Kiwi scientist Elliott is an affable host for his segments, explaining his efforts quite clearly. We get some terrific, slow motion feeding moments with that giant mako that could surely inspire nightmares in those of less stern natures. Best of all was the section on the grouper spawning, something I do not recall seeing before, which took the special up a notch at least in being informative and different. </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>– TC4P Rating: 7/9</i></span></b><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">World’s Deadliest: Shark Frenzy!</span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Wednesday, July 26, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yvBYXwzrXyo/WYlL3urudTI/AAAAAAAANiM/BpbhGoyCYncYVHFhRAlK7fN8Xs3qHkqrwCLcBGAs/s1600/SharkFest_04_Worlds_Deadliest_Shark_Frenzy_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="662" data-original-width="1200" height="220" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yvBYXwzrXyo/WYlL3urudTI/AAAAAAAANiM/BpbhGoyCYncYVHFhRAlK7fN8Xs3qHkqrwCLcBGAs/s400/SharkFest_04_Worlds_Deadliest_Shark_Frenzy_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">World’s Deadliest</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is another series with which I have some limited familiarity, but it's only because I have tuned in on a spur of the moment decision to scope out from cool snakes, spiders, tigers, and other creatures. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The series has aired shark-centric episodes before, and just like with <i>Shark vs. Predator,</i> it is hard to tell how much of this supposedly new episode is simply recycled from the other ones without watching them anew as well. This time around, <i>World’s Deadliest</i> checks in with <i>Shark Frenzy</i>. (To the previous point, this title is a bit confusing because they also had an older episode called <i>Shark Feeding Frenzy</i>.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I suppose that if someone said to me, “Hey, I know absolutely zero about sharks. What would be a basic primer documentary that I could watch?,” then I guess <i>Shark Frenzy</i> might do in a pinch. If such a question were really posed to me in real life, I would just tell them to batten down the hatches, order pizza for 8 days, and studiously watch a full week of <i>Shark Week</i>, reruns and all. That would learn ya… but let’s work with <i>Shark Frenzy</i> because it is the show under discussion right now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is indeed mostly a recap of shark scenes pulled from other sources. There are no scientists or hosts, or anybody with a name, hanging about telling us what they are trying to solve or tagging anything at all. There is some old footage of groundbreaking shark photographer Valerie Taylor (she and her late husband Ron filmed the live shark shots for Jaws and other movies) as her leg is torn up on a dive by a passing shark, a wound for which she received 300 stitches. However, Taylor is never directly named in the show. So, the show is free of human names. The divers are anonymous; only the sharks get names.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We first get a fairly explicit scene of a tiger shark hunting a green sea turtle off Hawaii, as he tears the flippers off the poor reptile and then tears its head off as well, leaving just a tasty morsel inside a shell. We briefly see white sharks hunting cape fur seals off South Africa, and are then given a basic rundown of the physical highlights of great whites that make them one of the most successful predators. The show returns to tiger sharks and how they will eat nearly anything that crosses their path, including non-organic materials. There is a montage from several sources of tiger sharks attacking fledgling albatrosses in the central Pacific area (possibly Hawaii, but they never say).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next segment features a great white taking out a female elephant seal in Northern California. When the seal is already being torn to shreds, a second white joins the feast. Before the attack, we do get a stunning shot of a male elephant seal where he has had a massive chunk of ragged flesh torn out of his side, clearly the work of a great white, and yet the seal was still living and hanging out onshore.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are then shown a couple of clips that were already aired in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">SharkFest 2017’s</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> first new episode, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark vs. Predator</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. We see the very same pod of orcas attack and murder a tiger shark, and then we see the same footage from the Seattle Aquarium (though unidentified here, possibly to make it look like it is in the ocean) of a giant Pacific octopus wrapping its tentacles around a 4 ft. spiny dogfish and essentially drowning it to then feed upon it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the next segment – which is supposed to show us how sharks sometimes have to deal with the unexpected even while being top predators – we meet the sand tiger shark, where it is said their ragged tooth looks make the adults seem far more aggressive than they actually are. But then we meet the kids. We see footage inside the uterus of a female sand tiger, where one baby has hatched before the others, killed the other early hatchlings, and is feeding on the yolk from the mass of eggs inside. We are told that for this very purpose, the sand tiger has a second uterus on the other side of her body where the same gruesome scenario is being played out with a different baby sand tiger.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is hard to compete with a scene featuring a murderous baby shark, so the remainder of the show is a letdown from that point forward. The next section involves describing and showing examples of the basic senses of the shark, including the 5 that we share with them. Then they get to the other two senses that sharks and rays possess: their lateral lines and the ampullae of Lorenzini. We then get to the bull shark, and told how it loves to swim into rivers and lakes to find easier, unsuspecting prey. After another scene with great whites, in which the narrator tells us how they use a combination of all of their senses to make an attack, we then meet a very different kind of shark: the tasseled</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> wobbegong, who lies on coral or the ocean floor looking very much like a carpet with fringe on it, and then snatches prey with an ultra-quick motion to suck the fish back into its throat with five rows of razor-sharp teeth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s always nice to see a wobbegong, since they end up on TV far less than they should, but this </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">World’s Deadliest</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was fairly deadly dull given how much of it is recycled and is pretty much on a par with other greatest hits episodes. Much of the footage, since some of it comes from what looks like non-professional sources, makes the show feel akin to the overall quality of a </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">When Animals Attack</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> episode. Also, what is up with not naming Valerie Taylor, but practically doing so by referring to her as a </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“famous underwater photographer”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">? It’s a really odd compilation, with no real drive to marry content to the theme of its title, and has very little focus as a result. It feels pretty much like a time-filler, but at least the shark information is mostly solid and there is that intrauterine cannibalism segment to punch things up a bit. Overall though, simply generic. </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>– TC4P Rating: 5/9</i></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that is it for </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">SharkFest 2017</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. One shot and done. Four episodes and no more. There were a bunch of other specials shown throughout the week on Nat Geo Wild, but only four new ones. (Well, two new ones and a couple that are pretty much video compilations.) And so this draws the TV documentary section of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shark Film Office</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> to a close for 2017. From here on out for the year, it’s mostly all shark movies, all the time. Just wait until you see what is next…</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-71259653657723314892017-08-06T23:30:00.000-07:002017-08-07T11:03:32.507-07:00Shark Week 2017, Pt. 4: Days 6, 7 and 8<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-awEvJpG22bg/WYgF0S4Eh-I/AAAAAAAANgs/YC5hHBMAfFQwM_prECgy-lLnHW1zVZ7vQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_Days_6_7_and_8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="488" height="476" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-awEvJpG22bg/WYgF0S4Eh-I/AAAAAAAANgs/YC5hHBMAfFQwM_prECgy-lLnHW1zVZ7vQCLcBGAs/s640/Shark_Week_2017_Days_6_7_and_8.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OK, I have kept quiet about it until now, but since this is my last section of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> reviews for 2017, I need to say something. There is something going on with </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> that is really off this year. This is the actual 30th anniversary of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> right now, but Discovery Channel is pretending that it isn't. That's right... 2017 is the 30th straight year of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and no one is celebrating until next year. Except for me, that is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now, hear me out, because the details don't lie: The 20th anniversary celebration and DVD set for </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> came out in 2007. The 25th anniversary celebration and DVD set for </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> came out in 2012. (You can still find reviews online from those years for both DVD sets, and those reviews are dated.) So, using that knowledge, and counting 5 more years, when should the 30th anniversary be? Can you even count, Discovery Channel? Because you have already announced that 2018 is the 30th anniversary, but when you air your first show in midsummer next year, you will have actually begun the 31st edition of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. The first year was 1988, so the tenth year was 1997, and so on. Every ten years puts us at 2007 and then 2017. And no years have been skipped since 1988.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You have dropped the ball again, Discovery Channel. I love that you do <i>Shark Week</i> each year, but to paraphrase Daffy Duck, "What a bunch of slop artists." This has been the 30th anniversary of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Wee</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">k! Period. Done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And now, for the last batch of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> reviews and recaps for 2017...</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#14 – African Shark Safari</span></b><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Saturday, July 28, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--xcyIB4d3a0/WYgFz7g95cI/AAAAAAAANgg/geD3n7sYf7EgTpLPYdLB_xeC1kWlKlkBACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="657" data-original-width="1200" height="218" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--xcyIB4d3a0/WYgFz7g95cI/AAAAAAAANgg/geD3n7sYf7EgTpLPYdLB_xeC1kWlKlkBACLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Madagascar Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> could almost be the title of this episode, but just barely. They probably went with the proper title, since the opening half of the show takes place down in the waters off Gansbaai, South Africa on the western Cape coast. But the second half involves a surprising excursion over to Madagascar, and therefore makes it the more interesting part of this adventure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once more, we have Dr. Craig O’Connell leading a show. (He is all over the place this year.) This time, he and photographer Andy Casagrande (who is even more all over the place) start out hanging around Shark Alley and Dyer Island, home to the most famous breaching great whites in the world (all that </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Air Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> stuff). Their purpose is to suss out the location to which great whites in South Africa migrate in the off-season. Craig and Andy dive with seals, who get increasingly aggressive and make it harder for the divers to look out for sharks in the murky vicinity. In the end, they see no sharks there so they move over to Shark Alley, and come up with nothing once again. A few miles down the way, a dead great white has been found and so a team pushes the corpse in to shore to remove it from the water. It is thought that the putrid smell of the shark’s rotting flesh is probably keeping other sharks away from the area, a common occurrence with great whites.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MqzhN29fdEk/WYgJ6zDFQ8I/AAAAAAAANhI/65pUgR947qAzihaJPZlrda6yW53M0EM7wCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_spycam_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="656" data-original-width="1200" height="174" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MqzhN29fdEk/WYgJ6zDFQ8I/AAAAAAAANhI/65pUgR947qAzihaJPZlrda6yW53M0EM7wCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_spycam_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Who says that great whites can't be adorable?</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Craig's team moves to a nearby spot called The Dam and try their luck again at hopefully tagging female sharks to eventually retrieve information on their respective migration treks. They lay out a decoy seal and attract a lovely, 14-ft. female, but when Craig cage dives to take photos of the shark, he runs into all sorts of problems. The water is too murky to see her at first, but as she does get near him, the excitable</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Craig snaps his backup camera off his rig when it smacks into the cage bars. Still, he gets the images he needs for identifying the big girl later. They tag her, along with some other sharks (unseen) and eventually, she (and another big female as well) will transmit information that tells them she is all the way on the other side of the African continent… over 2000 miles away in Madagascar, to the surprise of everyone.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jUPiZdC2RQU/WYgJ6RZxzyI/AAAAAAAANg8/U4M3hXEy0dkQ-ZkPiRIL68DwWt4eZQHuQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_dead_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="1200" height="173" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jUPiZdC2RQU/WYgJ6RZxzyI/AAAAAAAANg8/U4M3hXEy0dkQ-ZkPiRIL68DwWt4eZQHuQCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_dead_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I'm not quite dead!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Madagascar is not known at all for great whites, but it is known that humpback whales frequent the area. Dead whales are a favorite, fatty food source for big sharks. Could that be the reason these two females moved there, or is it because the island is being used for a breeding or pupping ground? Craig and Andy travel there and visit a small village marketplace, where Craig finds a wide variety of shark jaws on sale. Craig identifies many species, but is pretty torn up when he realizes that one set of jaws is that of a great white. Andy points out that the great white is protected in many places, including South Africa, but not in Madagascar. If Craig can prove that the white shark is frequenting the area more than previously thought, it could help lead to getting the species protected in Madagascar. Craig’s team takes to sea to try to locate the spot where their tagged female's tag popped off and transmitted her information, but come up empty. There is a neat moment, however, when a spy-cam they had placed on the ocean floor upon arrival does pick up a rather boisterous visitor attempting to steal some of the bait. The visitor is a honeycomb moray eel, which I don’t remember seeing in a shark documentary before. (Honestly, apart from the visit to the marketplace, it is my favorite part of this episode.)</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LxUgoJhJsvg/WYgJ6UOUC3I/AAAAAAAANhA/9ZNBxjWaRPMqJJh90bP8w0rdTYQP04qHgCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_jaws_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="648" data-original-width="1200" height="172" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LxUgoJhJsvg/WYgJ6UOUC3I/AAAAAAAANhA/9ZNBxjWaRPMqJJh90bP8w0rdTYQP04qHgCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_jaws_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The boys head to a village to ask the fishermen there what would be the best place to find great white sharks. “They need a bigger boat” is said by the narrator as Craig and Andy head back to the sea to dive in the open water. Craig scrapes a knife against a tuna carcass to hopefully attract a shark. He sees something down below, a large dark shape lurking underneath them but never coming into view. After what the narrator says is “weeks of negotiation with marine authorities,” Craig is given a small portion of humpback whale oil, replete with blubbery chunks. He pours it from its industrial bag into a large bottle, all the while coughing and seeking to maintain stability in his stomach region. Craig and Andy build a chumsicle covered in whale oil with a camera attached to the rigging, and drop it in the water. They also drop in a seal decoy rigged with another camera, but even with the oil and everything, nothing shows up at all to their boat except for a large stingray.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xFT_10xokkY/WYgJ6ViWp3I/AAAAAAAANhE/A2CnbvuhWQwBotTEQ1v0BRpmgr2RDEhoQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_moray_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="645" data-original-width="1200" height="172" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xFT_10xokkY/WYgJ6ViWp3I/AAAAAAAANhE/A2CnbvuhWQwBotTEQ1v0BRpmgr2RDEhoQCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_14_African_Shark_Safari_moray_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Hey, don't tell anyone I was here!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, they take to the water and dive 50 feet to the ocean floor. They see a big remora which usually signals that sharks are about, but they only find some small whitetip reef sharks hiding underneath the coral, as if something bigger is out there. Heading to their bait trap, they find gray reef sharks all over the bait, which means the whale oil is working its spell, but no great whites are showing up whatsoever. Or so they thought. When they review all of the footage from the seal decoy camera, there is a shot that shows a huge female white shark swimming up towards the camera, just off center, and only seen for a few seconds. They dive for two more days there but come up empty at first, and then run across a humpback whale family. It at least proves, tenuously, that the migration patterns of the whales and sharks may cross at this point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While the scenery, the underwater sequences, and the show overall are gorgeously filmed, such quality is kind of the standard of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">specials today. What separates each show is what actually happens inside of each hour. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">African Shark Safari</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has some interesting moments, but none of it really involves great whites, because this episode may have the lowest shark quotient in all of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week 2017</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. I am certain O’Connell felt this as they were putting the show together in post. As I have mentioned elsewhere in this series of reviews, O’Connell is a pretty emotional guy – not in a temperamental way, just more “heart on his sleeve” – and this includes revealing himself and starting to sweat and huff a bit when things start to go awry for him. It’s completely a part of his charm as a host for these shows. (His voice, the more I hear it, reminds me of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer from the Rankin-Bass animated classic, as if he is wearing a false nose over his real one.) When the shark’s presence is revealed in the late camera footage, his excitement would seem overboard from other hosts on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> but absolutely sincere from him. That said, while </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">African Shark Safari</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is a lovely looking show with some neat moments, it is a bit of a letdown that more sharks aren’t seen off Madagascar. Can’t be helped when sharks are usually so elusive in the first place, I know, but I’m not the one producing a documentary about sharks. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>– TC4P Rating: 6/9</i></span></b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#15 – Lair of the Sawfish</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(premiered Thursday, July 28, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mJfN-Gob9JM/WYgFz4x8uhI/AAAAAAAANgk/OhLmOXGzjxchAGaFtyD7_wKVvT5Um-6RgCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_15_Lair_of_the_Sawfish_kill_technique_graphic_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="649" data-original-width="1200" height="216" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mJfN-Gob9JM/WYgFz4x8uhI/AAAAAAAANgk/OhLmOXGzjxchAGaFtyD7_wKVvT5Um-6RgCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_15_Lair_of_the_Sawfish_kill_technique_graphic_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OK, some of you out there might ask why rays are given an episode during </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Well, how far do you want to take it? Shouldn’t there be a </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ray Day</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> for specials about mantas, stingrays, and sawfish (which is actually in the ray family)? Rays are still in the same categorization with sharks, and have many of the same characteristics and senses, including lateral lines and cartilage instead of bones. And just how far would you want to take this in regards to this class of creatures? If you demand separate events for each specific type of creature in Chondrichthyes, would we then need Discovery Channel to create a </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chimaera Era</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> event? Because, let me tell you, eras usually last far longer than weeks or days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As soon as I saw the schedule for this year’s event and noticed that </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lair of the Sawfish</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was a title, I was overjoyed. I have wanted to learn and see more about these creatures for a long time. Honestly, until relatively recently, just a few years ago, I did not realize there was a difference between the sawfishes and sawsharks. (For more on that, refer back to my review of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alien Sharks: Stranger Fins</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> earlier in this year’s reviews.) Because I didn’t know the difference, I thought for a long time that sawfishes were actually sharks as well. You see, you can learn things from </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. It’s not all about great whites breaching.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lair of the Sawfish</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> takes place entirely off the coast of Florida, at a variety of spots both off its northeastern coast and also down off the Keys. The show starts out in the waters off Jupiter, FL, where marine biologist Luke Tipple and dive expert Greg Mooney enlist the aid of a local diver who has learned of an area a few miles offshore where he has found groups of small-tooth sawfish, a critically endangered species that can grow up to 25 feet in length. (That’s right, you heard it…) The sawfish are near a particular wreck at the bottom of the ocean, so the divers use DPVs (diver propulsion vehicles) to descend to the wreck quicker. First, they meet some lemon sharks about 7-8 ft. in length, and see some rays and other creatures all over the wreck. No sawfish, but Tipple sees an outline in the silt on the sand at the bottom that shows where a sawfish had been resting earlier. Near the end of the dive while they are taking a decompression break, they are met by a curious tiger shark, whom they must convince by bumping it with their cameras and equipment that they are not on the menu. They then review the video that the local diver shot earlier on his dives and notice that a couple of the female sawfish are probably pregnant. This is a good sign.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sawfish rostrum with teeth along both sides.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I must say at this point, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lair of the Sawfish</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has hands down the best graphics of any special on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> this year. The primary colors of the graphics are red, black and blue, and they make a pretty stunning display. It seems the producers are aware of how great the design looks, because they take every opportunity to drop in maps, graphs, closeups of sawfish body parts throughout the show with great frequency. Frankly, there were a couple of times that I wished the graphics would just continue, because I wanted to see other species displayed and discussed on the screen in the same manner. Whoever the graphic designer was for this show, he needs a raise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The scene shifts to the Charlotte Harbor Estuary on the other side of the Florida peninsula, where they visit a mangrove-heavy area (but converging too closely with land being developed too quickly right next door) where baby sawfish spend their early years learning how to be sawfish, along with other species that seek the protection of the mangroves. Tipple meets Dr. Greg Poulakis, who works with smalltooth sawfish in the area, and helps him to measure and collect samples from some of the baby sawfish.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The late filmmaker/diver Rob Stewart</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The show takes a minute or two to mention the late </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharkwater</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> director Rob Stewart, who died in January this year in a shocking diving accident that made the national news as searches for his missing body took place over several days. Frankly, I was amazed that there wasn’t a retrospective special about Stewart during </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> since he was one of the biggest voices out there promoting a more positive image for sharks over the past few years. (Seriously, watch </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharkwater</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and you will be astounded by the guy’s work as a filmmaker.) The real reason for the Stewart callout in </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lair of the Sawfish</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is because Tipple’s team will be attempting a dive in the same area where Stewart lost his life: the Queen of Nassau shipwreck, a 200-ft. patrol cruiser that sank in the Straits of Florida in 1926. The wreck sits at the bottom, 235 ft. deep and was not discovered again until 2001.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ifPUsv7dHJc/WYinxnNLYvI/AAAAAAAANhY/ues2_KsMqnAMINxZRT9bgI-RckhFzYQMACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_15_Lair_of_the_Sawfish_laser-ray_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="1200" height="173" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ifPUsv7dHJc/WYinxnNLYvI/AAAAAAAANhY/ues2_KsMqnAMINxZRT9bgI-RckhFzYQMACLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_15_Lair_of_the_Sawfish_laser-ray_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The preparation for the dive at the Queen of Nassau takes almost a full segment of the show, as the team of divers explain about the rules of decompression, how they will be using trimix in their tanks to dive. Trimix adds helium to the usual oxygen-nitrogen mix to offset narcosis from the nitrogen, and help reduce the chances of decompression illness (DCI). When they head down to the wreck, there is a nifty scene where they train lasers from the camera to measure a huge stingray in the sand. They only stay down for a short time, see no sawfishes, and have to decompress on the way up, and then wait 12 hours to try to dive again. The next dive also shows them nothing, but when they come up and decompress, the safety diver with the extra tanks keeps getting swept by the currents past them. Finally, he makes it to them after multiple attempts, and all is well. Several more days diving takes place, and it appears we are getting to a classic “last chance” scenario again on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Sure enough, “one more dive” is said, and you know at the commercial that when they come back, we are going to see a sawfish. (Or saw a sea-fish?) Which they do indeed, though Tipple and Mooney go up before the other diving team without seeing one. The other team manages to get a last minute video of a 15 ft. male sawfish, which helps them at least prove another area the fish are frequenting in the area.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I make jokes about things like “last chance, last dive,” but this was a pretty neat special from start to finish. Exciting dive sequences, some haunting shipwrecks, those stellar graphics I mentioned earlier, and a lot of information about diving techniques and a species of which I knew relatively little going into the show. The only real concession to true sharkiness was the cameo by the aggressively curious tiger early in the show, but mostly it is all about this truly captivating and odd-looking species. I want more on the sawfish in the next </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>–</b> <b>TC4P Rating: 8/9</b></i></span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#16 – Sharkmania</span></b><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Saturday, July 29, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-m0jSEmA5UU4/WYgFz763QPI/AAAAAAAANgo/iEtHCAZsk5UmG3zvZwE_AhSC5BeoRfuHACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_16_Sharkmania_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="1200" height="216" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-m0jSEmA5UU4/WYgFz763QPI/AAAAAAAANgo/iEtHCAZsk5UmG3zvZwE_AhSC5BeoRfuHACLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_16_Sharkmania_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An annual event inside of an annual event, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharkmania</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is nothing more than a clip show, albeit a fun enough one, that airs on the Saturday just before the end of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Comprised of highlights from most of the current year’s programs – usually the most exciting bits – it’s the perfect show if you are someone who doesn't really want to put in 16-17 hours during the week to watch the latest episodes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For me, since I watch everything during the week, it’s a bit of a wasted opportunity. I understand not wanting to put a truly new episode on a Saturday night, which is now a deep sea ratings hole since nobody in the most cherished demographics (18-49) are even at home most of the night. So, I get it. And I don’t mind a </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Greatest Hits show now and then, especially when this one tucks in brief glimpses of shows from past years that still rank as some of the series most exciting. Seeing a great white take out a rubber raft out from under the host or making Paul De Gelder’s would be splash-about in a kayak more trouble than it is worth are still fun to see. A neat section right in the middle of the show is called </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gadgets and Gizmos</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, digging briefly into the ever-more technologically advanced cameras, signal tags, and other equipment being employed on these shows. (The laser-cams used to measure shark and fish size the last couple of years are still pretty cool to me.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Also, if you don’t have the time to watch everything during Shark Week, but would like to catch up with a few episodes On Demand or on the Discovery website, you could use </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharkmania</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> to point you to the ones you really need to see. Generic but still with some use. – </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>TC4P Rating: 6/9</i></span></b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#17 – Shark School with Michael Phelps</span></b><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Sunday, July 30, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R5gdlKl98nU/WYgF0V7RzxI/AAAAAAAANgw/NBkzdpHAmFINQgGqXF3nnDrN9Zxq3bziACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_17_Shark_School_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="1200" height="216" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R5gdlKl98nU/WYgF0V7RzxI/AAAAAAAANgw/NBkzdpHAmFINQgGqXF3nnDrN9Zxq3bziACLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_17_Shark_School_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In some ways, I am surprised that this special didn’t air first during </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and then have a slow buildup to the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Phelps vs. Shark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> racing special at week’s end. Instead, they did it the opposite way, with the race episode on the very first night of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and then this episode a full week later on the opposite Sunday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, which scenario would have worked out better for Discovery Channel? Keep in mind going into this that there are still a lot of people pretty pissed off about the fake Megalodon documentary from four years back, a move so calculatedly wrong that, two years later, the incoming president to the organization had to swear they wouldn’t do something like that again. Then they did do something like that again... this year, based on the opinions of many online babies. On the first night of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week 2017</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, with a fake race between the greatest Olympic champion of all time (by this I mean the highest medal count ever, if you are one who wishes to argue my point uselessly) and a great white shark, computer-generated and never actually in the water with Phelps. I have yet to see the ratings, but my question is whether they would have done better by having this Shark School thing first and then allow a slow-buildup to the big fake race at the end of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, or was it better for Discovery to just get the race out of the way, let the Twitter-verse</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> blow up exactly as it did as people lost their minds, and then allow the rest of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> to occur?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As it happens, the <i>Shark School with Michael Phelps</i> special is quite literally a couple of shark scientists running Michael Phelps through his paces as he attempts to get comfortable around sharks to learn more about them. The show starts with Phelps standing on a beach on Bimini with stingrays cruising inches from his feet in the water in front of him, after which, Dr. Tristan Guttridge of the Bimini Sharklab snorkels with Phelps as they visit some bigger stingrays. Guttridge calls this part of Shark School "elementary school," and then they move up to a dive with gray reef sharks. The dive team jumps into the open water with the sharks, but they start their star pupil inside a shark cage as he observes the sharks for a while and gets used to their movements. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the first chunk of time after he starts out of the cage, he holds one arm above his head and hangs on to the cage. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I started to wonder if he would ever let go, but he finally relaxes enough to try it and is just fine. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Soon enough though, he pretty much has 5-7 ft. sharks right in his face, and his reaction is pretty genuine, too… sheer joy, even if he still seems a tad tentative.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After this adventure, Phelps graduates to diving with bull sharks, which to me, is pretty much the equivalent of hanging out at Buffalo Wild Wings with testosterone-obsessed, wannabe jocks. (You know it’s only a matter of time before one of them gets a little too handsy with the wait staff and says something borderline rapey.) I would much rather jump straight to the great hammerhead and great whites later in the show than hang out with these puffy-headed assholes, but it turns out to just be a cage dive. (I had been wondering if he would do that, since bulls are notoriously ornery.) The water chosen for the dive is murky enough that Phelps cannot see the bull even from a few feet away, and they give up pretty early on messing around with them. For a brief change of pace, rather than put Michael in the water with a potentially dangerous tiger shark, they have him help handle and tag a captive baby tiger pup instead (it’s only about three feet long). It’s cute, but we want to see him in the water with or near the big guys.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Next comes the great hammerhead, and this is without a doubt the grooviest segment of the show. Phelps, Guttridge, and the rest of the dive team, still in the Bahamas, drop down to the ocean floor. Phelps, the most inexperienced of course, lies down flat on his back with his arms at his side as a couple of 10-11 ft. great hammerheads cruise about collecting handfed samples from the other divers. A bunch of nurse sharks arrived earlier than the hammers to check out the bait box and so they are interspersed with the divers on the ocean floor. (The sight of this is pretty swell.) The big hammers mill about and one even soars about a foot or so above and parallel to Phelps’ prone body. The joy he emits is palpable, and he gushes about the experience when he eventually swims back to the boat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finally, they take to South Africa where Phelps is given a seal dummy with a bite gauge inside of it to test the crushing power of a great white’s jaws. A big white takes immediately to attacking the fish-head bait attached to the end of the seal dummy that Phelps is dangling over the water. The first few passes only lose the bite, but in one of those </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> moments where things seem to be perilously close to getting out of hand, the white makes its biggest attack yet. It breaches from the water slightly to jab its head at the dummy and then pulls the ropes that Phelps is holding around the back of the boat. Guttridge yells about being wary of the propellers as crew members scramble to get hold of the ropes. One crew member is almost pulled over the edge of the boat, where he could potentially run afoul of either the motors or the great white just a couple of feet away in the water, still thrashing about with the fake seal and the bait. It’s a pretty thrilling sequence with some great shark action.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Again, Phelps comes off like someone who is genuinely interested in being taken to “Shark School”. I feel like this special really was intended to be shown first in the week, well ahead of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Phelps vs. Shark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, especially since the ultimate graduation for Phelps would be to cage dive with the whites, but by the end of this show, he only gets to feed one by rope. In </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Phelps vs. Shark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, he does go cage diving and meets a great white as a preliminary to his phony race against one, so all of this Shark School stuff most likely happened first. The race episode feels like it is the second hour of a two-hour special. It really does seem to me like Discovery switched their plans around and decided that the race should go first to build up the social media buzz about </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week.</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> That may have backfired on them at least a little bit, if only in their reputation. But they have dug their way out holes before; a Megalodon-sized hole, in fact.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Shark Week</i> ratings must be substantial enough to warrant a special week of programming all to its own for 30 straight years. That's right... 30 straight years. This year. (There I go again). </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Since <i>Shark Week </i>is going to grab big ratings no matter what they do, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">does Discovery really need to rely on trumping up these fictionalized events, or even rely so much on celebrity cameos and hosting? I’m fine with the celebrity angle, especially if it is someone who has (had) a commitment to marine science like the late Paul Walker, or someone who seems to have a growing interest in their preservation, such as Eli Roth. Having a high-profile guy like Phelps hanging around isn’t a bad thing at all, if it will get just a few more people to tune in and learn something about sharks. Sure, they may have mishandled things a bit this year – and may have turned off a whole new stretch of possible or (now) former viewers – but I think <i>Shark Week</i> will be fine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maybe next year, they should convince Charlize Theron, a guest on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark After Dark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> this year, to be the face of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> for 2018 and have her film a special in her homeland of South Africa. She talked about swimming around sharks as a kid there, so maybe she could do a homecoming and also show off her action chops, maybe get in a knock-down, drag-out fight with a great white. She is the Atomic Blonde after all. Since the shark would obviously be computer-generated, no one would get hurt. The important thing is that Charlize is in the water. Now, that would be appointment television for me for sure... – </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 7/9</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, chums (nyuk, nyuk), that’s </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> for 2017. All in all, it was a pretty good mix of shows, with a couple of episodes that rank among the series’ very best. Of course, the downside of Shark Week is that it ends eventually. Discovery gets back to its mostly crappy programming, and we have to wait an entire year for a solid concentration of shark shows. And next year, we have to pretend that it's the 30th anniversary of Shark Week when it is really the 31st instead. I can't wait for that to blow up on Twitter. Maybe I will throw in the direction of some real conspiracy nuts on there to see what they can do with it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, Happy 30th Anniversary, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">! It was a lot of fun... for me. Too bad no one close to you will hold your party for another year...</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">RTJ</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i>Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-77038962009212296182017-08-03T19:15:00.000-07:002017-08-03T19:15:54.514-07:00Shark Week 2017, Pt. 3: Days 4 and 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OK, I didn’t get to watch most of <i>Shark Week</i> last week on television. Because it is easier to take notes right on my computer, I chose to watch the bulk of <i>Shark Week</i> on Discovery Channel’s online site. But where it made one part of the project easier to do, I had to deal with the fact that I couldn’t easily skip the commercials like on the DVR had I watched everything in the living room or bedroom. And so, stuck by choice with seeing each episode online, I was forced to sit through the requisite amount of commercial breaks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">This might have been fine, but it also meant that I was forced into a couple hundred viewings of the trailer for </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Hitman’s Bodyguard</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">. This gave me great exposure to a film of which I was not even aware of in the least before </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> came along. To say that I have now been driven to madness to the degree that there is not a chance that I will see the film when it comes out in mid-August. Even with Sam Jackson, Ryan Reynolds and Gary Oldman, there is little hope for this film to get even rental money out of me, at least until a decent amount of downtime has occurred for me to lessen my now-negative attitude towards it and every hackneyed line in the trailer. They should have mixed it up with a trio of different trailers or even more. Instead, it was pounded through my eyes and into my head over and over, and now… their most likely audience member has been turned away. Sometimes, advertising too much can really work against your product…</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#10 – The Lost Cage</span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Wednesday, July 26, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dSoPoNARed0/WYPWjPddG2I/AAAAAAAANew/N2l7lEZJUOQpWehSMjZv7kkat-AAGVirgCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_11_Lost_Cage_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="1200" height="216" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dSoPoNARed0/WYPWjPddG2I/AAAAAAAANew/N2l7lEZJUOQpWehSMjZv7kkat-AAGVirgCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_11_Lost_Cage_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">This episode has perhaps the oddest premise of any thus far this year. Interesting and different, yes, and a rather enjoyable effort, but definitely the oddest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Fish aggregation device. FAD. You have to know what that is before you can really get anything out of The Lost Cage. Usually they are buoys, balls or some other object, sometimes even rafts built from debris, that then gets rigged to the bottom of the ocean, and allowed to gather barnacles, corals, and other marine life to it to create mini eco-systems. The FAD floats in one area atop the surface and draws schools of fish to it. The fishing industry use these to attract schools of tuna or other preferred species to make it easier to locate and net the fish. Since fish are relative suckers for hanging around anything floating in the water, it makes the game easier for fishermen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">In </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Lost Cage</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">, a team of scientists take to see in a very simple raft design with barely any creature comforts – that they name Man O’ War – and float freely on the currents in the Gulf of Mexico for seven days and hundreds of miles. Chained to their raft and lying many meters below the surface from them is a shark cage, which before their trip is left to do what is called “biofouling,” the gather of the aforementioned marine life which will create that vital miniature eco-system so that the cage can start to attract bigger and bigger marine life to it. The cage barely starts to get covered in gunk before fish start to show up, and even dolphins come by to check it. The point of this free-floating exercise is to see if the FAD begins to attract sharks to it as well to gather evidence that sharks may possibly become bycatch when fishermen go to their own FADs to gather their fish.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">When I called it “the oddest” premise this year, this was not to disparage the experiment. It’s just that it is a far different experiment than we usually see on </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">, which mainly consists of shark tagging and diving (cage or otherwise) and other activities built around those two. Last year, the title of oddest special had to be the one where Dr. Craig O’Connell was testing the use of magnets on sharks. </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">(There will be more about shark magnetism in the next review, so stay tuned...) </i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">So it doesn’t necessarily have to be a concept that is all that weird for me to call something the oddest during </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">; it just has to be further from the norm than usual.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And it’s not like the scientists in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Lost Cage</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> don’t tag sharks or go both cage and free diving with them. They get in the water and tussle with a huge mako, eventually tagging it, and they meet all sorts of creatures along their journey. But the idea that they are pretty much at the mercy of the current and have not necessarily made the journey particularly comfortable for themselves is pretty unique to the genre. It’s not </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Man vs. Wild</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> discomfort (and c’mon, that’s a big put-on anyway); they have electronic equipment and a kitchen and food. They don’t live like savages, but the living quarters are the fairly small raft are pretty spare and mostly open to the elements. (Also, there is obviously a film crew traveling alongside them, so if anything major happened, they would have someone there to help.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Makos, especially one that they identify, tag and name Scar, play a constant role throughout the show, and it will ultimately turn out that Scar has been tracking them since they first meet him near the beginning. Along the way, they take a neat stop by an abandoned oil rig, which themselves are usually to be found covered entirely by sea life below the surface, often creating lush paradises almost like vertical coral reefs teeming with life. That is the case here and it is a pretty monumental sight. (There was a special last year that spent a good amount of time working around old oil rigs to see how the areas were reacting to their presence.) Along with makos, we meet silky sharks and spinner sharks and a number of different fish species.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">At a stop in the Flower Garden Banks National Marine Sanctuary, a large tiger shark swings into view around the divers, as well as a mix of sandbar sharks, and finally a tremendous manta ray. The divers first saw a solo hammerhead early in the show but now at the Flower Garden Banks, the sighting of a single hammerhead leads them to look about and realize they are surrounded by a massive gathering of hammers. In the dark of night not long after, flying fish are seen on the surface of the water, so they dive back into the blackened waters to get a closer look at the winged wonders. While in the water, first a scalloped hammerhead arrives and then a rather aggressive spinner shark smacks right into the camera. A short while later, with the divers in the water again, the return of Scar is greeted with elation, but from the evidence seen here, sharks may be as attracted to FADs as other fish are. It is likely that even more sharks are being taken as bycatch by fishermen than previously thought.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OK, just one more thing… I don’t know if the same person does the opening title graphics for all of the episodes, but if it is so, I wonder if that person has some sort of aversion to articles such as “the” in their titles. In the graphic for what is usually described as <i>Return to the Isle of Jaws</i> on promotional materials and on TV schedules (even on the Discovery Channel website in multiple places), </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the title on the show appears as <i>Return to Isle of Jaws</i>,</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">as if the old Johnny Weissmuller version of Tarzan was saying it. (Ooh, now <i>he</i> could probably out-swim a great white...)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> it is cut down to just For this episode, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Lost Cage</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> appears as </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lost Cage</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> on the title card. So, what’s the deal, Discovery Channel graphics person/people? Do you just hate the word “the”? Or is there just bad quality control behind the scenes? Just wondering… <b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 7/9</span></b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">#11 – </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Devil Sharks</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <i>(premiered Wednesday, July 26, 2017)</i></span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Yg78SM98C-A/WYPWjFasVWI/AAAAAAAANes/4fVpZRd--60qZ7pQfjRzySpGEGpVTGakACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_10_Devil_Sharks_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="657" data-original-width="1200" height="218" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Yg78SM98C-A/WYPWjFasVWI/AAAAAAAANes/4fVpZRd--60qZ7pQfjRzySpGEGpVTGakACLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_10_Devil_Sharks_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Once more, we have a title that could likely end up as a <i>Sharknado Week</i> original film on Syfy in the future. I don’t know what form it could take, but I envision a death metal band desperate to make their mark plays a free concert just off the beach on a floating platform, and while the audience floats around on boats, kayaks, surfboards, and inner tubes listening to the music, the local sharks mutate into demons and attack the audience.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">That’s a far cry from what happens in the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> version of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Devil Sharks</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">, where the title is simply to imply the connection between the lava of volcanoes and the underworld of legend. That’s right, sharks and volcanoes. Naturally, my mind goes back to </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Joe vs. the Volcano</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">, a particular favorite of mine that, as luck would have it, is also a shark movie. (Had you forgotten the scene where Tom Hanks is fishing off the yacht and catches a small hammerhead shark, which then makes a snarly face at Hanks and scares the bejeezus out of him? If you had, then you are no fan...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dr. Mike Heithaus of Florida International University has evidence that sharks are quite often found around islands with not just a lot of volcanic activity, but even places where the volcanoes are either dormant or even dead. He wonders if sharks use the magnetic properties of volcanoes to help them circumnavigate the globe, and sets out in <i>Devil Sharks</i> to the Caribbean towards Saba Island, which has a dormant volcano as its main feature, to gather even more evidence. First his team captures and tags a tiger shark near the island and then releases her. (They also tag other sharks off-camera as part of the study.) Over the span of several months, Heithaus tracks the movements of the tagged sharks and realize that they may be using underwater volcanic ridges to travel from place to place. The question is… why?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Scientists theorize that sharks, being sensitive to magnetism, probably pick up magnetic signals which are locked inside lava, and use those signals to navigate through the ocean. Heithaus thinks this may explain why sharks are able to cross an entire ocean to return to the exact same spot they frequented before.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The big action in this episode takes place around Hawaii, where Heithaus and his team want to figure out why sharks continue to hang around volcanic islands once they have travelled to one. Mike and marine scientist Kirk Gastrich dive in open water and find themselves surrounded quickly by Galapagos and sandbar sharks. The narrator says ominously, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“No chum needed here. Dave and Kirk… are the bait.”</span></i> But, c’mon… it’s just something to say before a convenient commercial break before we return to the show and find out most of the sharks really don’t care about these guys at all. Sure, one shark seems to start to stalk Kirk so they call off the dive, but I am going to say this was more in service to telling a thrilling story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Onshore at Hawaii, vulcanologist Jess Phoenix joins them a short ways from Kīlauea to show Heithaus how lava forms into new land as it hits the ocean and cools. My favorite part of the show occurs just after they show us the creation of pillow lava, and how tunnels can be created inside the hardened lava. Sharks lurk sometimes in these tunnels. They dive at Kona Coast to check out examples of this. Checking out the coral reef, we encounter a moray eel and a whitetip reef shark. On the surface, we see a tiger shark attempting to attack a seabird. We see tiger sharks stalking whale calves and also feeding on a dead whale. Mike and his wife Linda dive down to a lava tube mouth, careful to watch out for sharks in the darkness. They find a whitetip reef shark hiding beneath the tube, probably hiding from tiger sharks. It panics and rushes past Mike and the cameraman, trying to escape. They find more sharks hiding in crevices, possibly sleeping though their eyes are open.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The team heads to Rangiroa in the South Pacific to investigate shark behavior around a dead volcano to find out why sharks would be interested in a volcano at the end of its life. They find gray and blacktip reef sharks aplenty in the water. They notice that many of the blacktip females have love bites on their sides, leading them to believe the sharks are using this area as a mating and pupping ground. Later, when they go to the island, they catch baby blacktip sharks by hand while standing on the beach to gather DNA samples and take blood. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">To close out the episode, they free-dive (to keep the scuba bubbles from frightening the sharks) in order to collect flesh samples using a speargun, while also using a bait basket to attract sharks. At first, they are dealing only with silvertips, and at first the sharks surround the divers. But the silvertips clear out when a tiger shark arrives suddenly. The diver stops the shark’s progress with the tip of his speargun, and then uses to collect the vital flesh sample from the tiger, sending the big shark scurrying away. All in all, a solid episode with some fine underwater photography and a couple of exciting scenes. The volcano angle proves far more worthy of interest than I first thought, making it two years in a row in which a special featuring magnetism and sharks has done that to me. – </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 7/9</span></b><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#12 – Shark Exile</span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Thursday, July 27, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KPr0I2EHQNI/WYPWjm2U_2I/AAAAAAAANe8/VdAbFexTs5UgUvJnEgFd3-L9SiTnEFgqQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_12_Shark_Exile_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="654" data-original-width="1200" height="217" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KPr0I2EHQNI/WYPWjm2U_2I/AAAAAAAANe8/VdAbFexTs5UgUvJnEgFd3-L9SiTnEFgqQCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_12_Shark_Exile_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And now here comes another episode that I found far more compelling than I first thought when I head what the subject matter entailed. </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Exile</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> features diver and former shark attack victim Paul de Gelder, who is now a major shark advocate, as he attempts to help save sharks along the coast of his native Australia by learning a recent technique developed by a shark researcher in Recife, Brazil regarding the “exiling” of sharks from the vicinity of the public beaches in that city.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XFnarc7ayjI/WYPWjGHHzAI/AAAAAAAANe0/jzcC30miB0wGdnvHQh8GnNwjVQNaOdpEACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_12_Shark_Exile_1_DeGelder_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="658" data-original-width="1200" height="175" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XFnarc7ayjI/WYPWjGHHzAI/AAAAAAAANe0/jzcC30miB0wGdnvHQh8GnNwjVQNaOdpEACLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_12_Shark_Exile_1_DeGelder_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">De Gelder longs to aid Australia in no longer relying on the old methods of shark-netting and baited lines to keep sharks from beaches, which results in the needless death of countless sharks and other marine species every year. Having heard of the success of this Brazilian method – in which the exiled sharks seemingly do not return back to Recife – De Gelder starts out in his home surf with his team and captures, tags, and releases a gorgeous-looking tiger shark. The reason is to establish his own method to understand the pros and cons of transporting the shark, which proves to be a problem since they hooked a much larger shark than they expected. Instead of pulling the shark onboard their boat, they keep the shark wrapped in a tarp alongside the boat so the water continues to flow through its gills. There is a complication when they release the tiger because one of its gills gets caught on the protective tarp, but De Gelder jumps in to get the shark free and it swims away unharmed.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"What the hell did I ever do to anybody? <br />I'm a nurse shark!"</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">De Gelder's partner in this adventure, Dr. Will Robbins, travels to Brazil to meet Dr. Fábio Hazin, who discovered and developed his method of shark exile out of measured desperation when Recife suddenly became of the biggest shark attack sites in the world. Hazin determined what happened: the construction of a nearby seaport area drove the blue sharks that frequented the river mouth nearby over towards the public beaches. When Robbins arrives, Hazin takes him out to the sea in a ramshackle but seaworthy boat with his practiced crew. While the Brazilian method is a little rougher and seems to be even more work at first than De Gelder and Robbins’ version, after first catching and tagging a nurse shark (which is not aggressive to humans), the Brazil team moves it two hours and twelve miles north of the area. “North” is the key phrase here, because that is the secret as to why Hazin’s method works so well. He figured out that by moving the sharks a certain amount of distance north, the sharks pick up strong currents that take the sharks straight in the opposite direction of his city’s beaches. Tagging the sharks allows Hazin’s team to track their movements. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"D'oh!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Robbins imports the method back to Australia to teach it to his team and try it out near Great Keppel Island, a popular tourist stop with a lot of beach activity. They want to try the Brazilian method of building a small framed pool out of plywood and a tarp laid over it so the shark can be transported in and out of the pool easier. However, in testing pulling a team member up and over the side of the boat, they find it harder than they expected, with the thought that a large shark will be much heavier and bulkier than a human. They laugh as they mention the classic “bigger boat” line from Jaws (a first this year), and then indeed bring in a larger craft that has a tail that can drop down in the water, which will make things immeasurably easier. Soon enough, they have caught a good-sized pigeye shark (which I really enjoyed seeing as they rarely show up on <i>Shark Week</i>). The pigeye resembles a bull shark in many ways, and is often mistaken for one, and so they consider this a good sign since bulls will probably be one of the species they most encounter as they practice this method in the future. De Gelder gets his first experience in securing a tag into the shark’s back. When the shark is moved off the tail of the boat, Robbins, who had warned them earlier to watch out for the tiger shark’s tail, has the pigeye tail wrapped about him as he stands on the drop-down door of the boat and ends up going into the drink as the shark swims away! When the tag info is reviewed for both sharks they caught in Australia at each end of the show, both sharks had swam far away from their original beach areas, even though the Aussie team did not have the benefit of an easily reachable channel flowing in the opposite direction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I really found the subject fascinating, and especially liked seeing the warts and all approach of how they were learning to handle these sharks in both locations on different sides of the world. That both places had similar results means there might be something to this method, but there are unanswered questions. While they mention the currents off Brazil are instrumental in moving the sharks away, I have to wonder if maybe there is a human factor at play here. If I were a shark who is just swimming about doing my shark thing, and then a bunch of people hook me, pull me into a boat, cut a hole in my back and shove something into it, and then drive me hours atop the water, and then let me go, I might want to shy away from the area where I was. I know I would as a human, so could a shark react the same way? Is picking the sharks up and quite literally moving them elsewhere the key to safer beaches? Hey, if it means less sharks get killed, I am all for it. Definitely a sequel somewhere in this special. – <b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 8/9</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#13 – Shark Storm</span></b><i> (premiered Thursday, July 27, 2017)</i></span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dtEZiAc_xjg/WYPWkoszdqI/AAAAAAAANfU/On_J2EHI2Lg_xsxF2Ts6FFqLxyHPZgCqQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="656" data-original-width="1200" height="217" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dtEZiAc_xjg/WYPWkoszdqI/AAAAAAAANfU/On_J2EHI2Lg_xsxF2Ts6FFqLxyHPZgCqQCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">When I saw the title <i>Shark Storm</i>, I thought it had finally happened. At some point, someone on <i>Shark Week</i> would have to discuss sharks in conjunction with storms, given how much the idea of a sharknado is now on the minds of every idiot in America. And I thought <i>Shark Storm</i> was <i>that</i> moment…</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And I was wrong. The show could just as likely be called <i>Shark Swarm</i>, but there was already a new special with that title appearing last week on the rival <i>SharkFest</i> on Nat Geo Wild. But “storm” is just a fine a descriptor as “swarm” when one is talking about massive aggregations of sharks, sometimes even multiple species, that can be found at various spots all around the world.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xWCkpe-eR5o/WYPWkLSfNGI/AAAAAAAANfE/1z0js8gjXh4RhY4Lqze1fRDkv--JTvT4gCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_Ornella_Tristan_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="654" data-original-width="1200" height="174" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xWCkpe-eR5o/WYPWkLSfNGI/AAAAAAAANfE/1z0js8gjXh4RhY4Lqze1fRDkv--JTvT4gCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_Ornella_Tristan_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, last year, during my writeup for a <i>Shark Week 2016</i> special titled <i>The Killing Games</i>, I went more than a little goggle-eyed over a comely shark scientist named Ornella Celine Weideli. You see, I watch these shows for the sharks, and have little thought that I am going to cross paths visually with someone like Dr. Weideli. And, no matter how much I have tried to evolve my behavior and renounce all my damnable born instincts, I am also still just enough of a Neanderthalic male to get all territorial over her and want to mark all the furniture in the cave. You see, the girl done broked my widdle bwain...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s a year later, and Ornella (cute little nose ring and all) is back in <i>Shark Storm</i>, teaming up with Dr. Tristan Guttridge as they travel from location to location to try and surmise exactly why sharks gather like this and what might be behind that behavior. I mean, she’s still awful purty and all, and I did shout out a little “yes!” (with a fist pump to boot) when I saw she was in this episode, but other than that, I was content to let her be the professional scientist that she is and simply watch her conduct her experiments without any further brutish behavior on my part. </span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1JruBKESUvU/WYPWkUaH6CI/AAAAAAAANfQ/GwlSoIFhL6gH64OB6wht8AEPjfiLMJAEQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_sub_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="647" data-original-width="1200" height="172" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1JruBKESUvU/WYPWkUaH6CI/AAAAAAAANfQ/GwlSoIFhL6gH64OB6wht8AEPjfiLMJAEQCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_sub_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">After all, I am a man who is concerned first with saving sharks in our oceans. I don’t have time to think about how much I wish it was me in that cramped submersible with Ornella as we dive down under the Caribbean near Cocos Island off Costa Rica to encounter hammerhead sharks all swimming in what seems to be mutual peace with one another. Were I there, we would have science to do, and would have to remain alert to the dangers when diving beneath the sea. How could I possibly think of anything else? Besides, I am a married man in a deeply committed relationship. Hey, Dr. Jones… no time for love...</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZAG2ZTjRWmQ/WYPWkaCtyFI/AAAAAAAANfM/OFZXSyF_gagothKo2RQQBGIH-NIOQrnSACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_point_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="659" data-original-width="1200" height="175" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZAG2ZTjRWmQ/WYPWkaCtyFI/AAAAAAAANfM/OFZXSyF_gagothKo2RQQBGIH-NIOQrnSACLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_point_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">So, let’s leave it to Ornella and Tristan to carry out the rest of the mission as it is meant to be on Shark Storm. They decide that the submersible doesn’t get them close enough so they scuba dive in a spot to wait for the hammerheads to arrive. The sharks indeed arrive and move about in a tightly constructed mass featuring at least two hundred individuals, and exhibiting what could only be described as communicative behavior of some form.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Back at the lab in the Bahamas, they observe a group of smaller lemon sharks from towers above the mangroves where the sharks spend their early years. They see many of the same body language and social cues with the lemons that they saw with the hammerheads. Guttridge theorizes that since the sharks could easily avoid each other there but prefer instead to gather together, that they must get some satisfaction at some level out of being social. They decide to visit other shark species to check out more behavior, and head off the coast of Mexico to join a school of hundreds of whale sharks that only gathers once annually. While there they drag a net behind the boat and pull in a collection of what turns out to be tuna eggs. The Mexican whale shark expert calls it “Mexican caviar” as a joke, but then proceeds to stick his finger into the batch of eggs and taste it, which Ornella and Tristan also try as well.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-W886XirZKWs/WYPWkm5VleI/AAAAAAAANfY/TpM_Fv5MwuYOO__Z2ug6JvayMs_W2P8bwCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_whale_shark_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="1200" height="173" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-W886XirZKWs/WYPWkm5VleI/AAAAAAAANfY/TpM_Fv5MwuYOO__Z2ug6JvayMs_W2P8bwCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_whale_shark_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">When they snorkel with the massive whale sharks (since the Mexican government doesn’t allow scuba gear around these sharks for fear of frightening them away), Ornella and Tristan notice that the same behavior they saw with the smaller species is not at play here. From as much as they can tell, the sharks are merely content to cruise along with each other, and display no noticeable body language between each other. Since the whale sharks are too big with which to experiment, they decide to head back to Bimini and perform some tests in a pen with lemon sharks, which they describe as sort of the “lab rat” of shark experiments. They set up the pen with targets and covers to try and train a lemon shark to hit the correct target to get fed. It takes about two weeks, but the shark finally gets the idea and starts to hit the right target and gets food for his efforts. They then attempt to see if an inexperienced shark can learn the same trick from observing the now learned shark. The second shark learns the behavior in less than two days, and then both sharks start competing over who gets to hit the target first. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">For their next test of shark intelligence, they move up to whitetip reef sharks, with whom they dive in a return to Cocos Islands. They already know that whitetips are social, swimming together in groups of hundreds of sharks, but they want to use acoustic receivers around the area and then tag a specific number of sharks and then see if the same sharks continue to group together or if the school is more chaotic in nature. When they dive, they find small groups of whitetips resting on the bottom of the ocean calmly. Tristan goes about tagging sharks while Ornella records the tag information, and then switch off roles. Tristan tags a larger male with a different type of receiver to see if any of the tagged sharks are “preferred partners” with that shark.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xf3HoCQsWkU/WYPYg_6TWBI/AAAAAAAANfc/9aSHevu9EYIbTg1NJAsK6tWqZjd8DeFwgCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_Ornella_2_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="647" data-original-width="1200" height="172" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xf3HoCQsWkU/WYPYg_6TWBI/AAAAAAAANfc/9aSHevu9EYIbTg1NJAsK6tWqZjd8DeFwgCLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_13_Shark_Storm_Ornella_2_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The pair then prepare for a night dive with the same species of sharks. The difference will be that sharks are usually far more aggressive at night, preferring to feed in the darkness. They aim is to see if the shark collaborate together in pack hunting or whether it will be a frenzied free-for-all. They notice sharks scaring fish out of crevices in the coral to push them out to the pack. The proof is pretty clear that they hunt as a pack. Ornella and Tristan find two sharks that were tagged together who are still hanging out more than 60 hours later, working together to get a meal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Is Shark Storm a good episode? Of course… We get some neat experiments testing both the intelligence of sharks and their social interactivity. Nothing new, but the show is informative enough. Is the scenery far nicer than I expected going into it? Well, I would be a cad to say yes or no, but I will say that Shark Storm is very well-photographed and the choices of locale are diverse and interesting. Plus, I am prone to liking episodes where a submersible is employed, so it has that going for it as well. As for Dr Weideli, it is nice to see her on another episode. If she is on every episode next year, it will be even nicer, but I have to remember that I am tuning in for the sharks. </span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">– </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 7/9</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, that's it for Part 3. We've knocked down the first thirteen episodes (and a preview) of Shark Week 2017, but there are four more shows to go. (One of them is just a highlight episode, so it will only take a paragraph or so.) I will have the fourth and final part up sometime this weekend. See you then!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Same shark-time, same shark-channel,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-6124452407139851802017-08-01T17:10:00.000-07:002017-08-01T17:24:08.807-07:00Shark Week 2017, Pt. 2: Days 2 and 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I thought that posting my recap of Day 1 (and more) of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> yesterday would serve to get me out from behind the eight-ball in attempting to catch up with everything going on shark-wise right now, but all I see before me is a whole lot more that I have to do. So without further ado, let us begin the recap of Nights #2 and #3 from last week's </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. (And if you think this is going to keep me from watching the new </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> flicks this week, you've got another thing coming. I already knocked out </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5-Headed Shark Attack </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">yesterday morning, and – hoo! hoo! – is it ever ridiculous. More on that film later this week...)</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#5 – Shark Vortex</span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Monday, July 24, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XynJOurXzt4/WYCyYIllBSI/AAAAAAAANds/RA5yqi0fZMsri2aTZEAjA8hT5UTK6gnhQCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_05_Shark_Vortex_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="667" data-original-width="1200" height="220" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XynJOurXzt4/WYCyYIllBSI/AAAAAAAANds/RA5yqi0fZMsri2aTZEAjA8hT5UTK6gnhQCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_05_Shark_Vortex_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the things that I love to gripe about during </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is that there is too much focus on the great white shark. I admit, the great white is the most iconic of all sharks, which is both a good and bad thing. Great white sharks are pretty awe-inspiring, have a great menacing presence, and have that incredible reputation, earned or otherwise. Also, they are my very favorite animals on the entire planet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But even I get a little tired of seeing great whites in show after show after show. Even, or especially, during </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, it can get monotonous. Great whites I can see anytime someone mentions the word “shark” anywhere. I would rather see other species of sharks, especially since there are over 500 of them. To understand just exactly how much </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> that might involve, we could have 15 brand new </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> shows every year for at least the next 34 years if we just picked a single shark species per hour to focus on each time. Sadly, that would never do for most of the shark-watching public. They seem to only want to see the big guys, the scary ones, the sharks that provide the real thrills and chills. Whites, makos, bulls, tigers, and hammerheads only please… they don’t want a special all about the catshark, the ccokiecutter shark, or the dwarf shark. I do, but most </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> viewers don’t. Or, because of this, are really even aware these other species exist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">However, Discovery Channel has made inroads towards this sharky utopia of mine. Their </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alien Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> series aired its fourth edition this year, and we will discuss that show fully further down in this recap. That series is a lot of fun because they travel with fishing boats that pull up a lot of by-catch from the deep (that is, fish caught incidentally, sadly, in the nets while pulling up their target fish), or with research trawlers that are expressly for fish studies, and then they free the little suckers from the nets, measure and study and sometimes tag them, and then release them back into the water. You can see a lot of rarer shark species that way on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Another way to happen upon a lesser known species is when it kind of falls into the right category with the other big ratings fish that are being studied.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DrT3hqZDvjY/WYCyXpSU03I/AAAAAAAANdo/CA7j0n3-w_Mi0OVpGOJlM776KglLJBiDACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_05_Shark_Vortex_mako2_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="1200" height="172" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DrT3hqZDvjY/WYCyXpSU03I/AAAAAAAANdo/CA7j0n3-w_Mi0OVpGOJlM776KglLJBiDACLcBGAs/s320/Shark_Week_2017_05_Shark_Vortex_mako2_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A shortfin mako.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such is the case with </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Vortex</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, where </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> regulars Dr. Greg Skomal and photographer/diver Joe Romeiro take to the waters of the upper Atlantic coast to study three closely related species that all have endothermic qualities, i.e. they have a form of warm-bloodedness that allows them to operate more comfortably in colder waters than most other sharks. They are able to raise their body temperature to a level above that of the water surrounding them, which aids them immeasurably in seeking out prey where others cannot go. The family Lamnidae, or mackerel sharks, are all endothermic, and two of its members that are profiled in </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Vortex</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, the great white shark and the shortfin mako, are part of the top tier of shark species that nearly everyone on the planet knows for one reason or another. The white and the mako will get plenty of face-time in </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Vortex</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, but the prime reason to watch the show is to get some glimpses of the porbeagle shark, yet another member of the mackerel shark family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The porbeagle shark looks roughly like its closest cousin, the salmon shark, and tops out around the same size as well (around 8 feet). The real difference between the two is that the salmon shark is usually only found in the North Pacific around Alaska, over to the Sea of Japan, and reaching up towards along the western coast of Alaska towards the Bering Sea. The porbeagle, meanwhile, parallels the salmon shark as its counterpart in the North Atlantic, but is also to be found all across the Southern Hemisphere from the tip of Africa or central South America and down throughout the waters of the Antarctic Ocean. They are rarely seen in the wild, and especially on shark documentaries, and that is precisely why, even with whites and mako on the show’s menu, that the porbeagle contained within </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Vortex</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is the real star of this show.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But first, Skomal and Romeiro had to get to the damned thing. Early on in the show, there is a sighting off Rhode Island of a large smooth hammerhead with a dark brown dorsal. The crew moves farther north. They sit at the edge of a temperature barrier in the water, with cold water on one side and warm on the other. They bait the edge and blue sharks appear right away. When a mako takes the bait, a thermal camera shows a white light behind the mako’s eyes that registers heat where the blue sharks did not, showing the endothermic nature of the mako. While filming, they capture one mako fully grabbing another similarly sized mako by the gills while fighting over the bait. While in the area, they take in the sights of other large species cruising through the area, such as a basking shark and then a whale shark.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The action moves to the even colder waters off Cape Cod, Massachusetts to meet and hopefully tag some great whites. Skomal hopes to encounter the biggest of all great whites that frequent the area, a tremendous 20-foot female named Burly. While they look about, they are given the opportunity to observe a pod of humpback whales bubble-net feeding on the surface. This is where the whales surround a mass of krill (or other small fish) in the water and exhale air from their blowholes to force the krill into tighter spaces, further creating a net with their bubbles to keep the krill contained. Then the whales will all converge on the restrained krill and envelope the creatures with massive gulps taken by their cavernous mouths, using their baleen to strain the water away from the tasty krill. It’s a pretty groovy sight seeing whales work together in this way to get dinner.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Running water through a young <br />porbeagle's gills while it is tagged.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Farther north, they spot another great white. Greg realizes it is Burly, whom he has failed to tag before, and attempts once more to do so. He finally succeeds this time, sneaking up on her from behind after a couple of ill-timed attempts. After tagging his beloved Burly, Skomal heads the boat up the coast to Maine to find what he calls “The Phantom,” in other words, the porbeagle. Much smaller than the other two sharks by half, the porbeagle’s bulky, short frame makes it ideally suited to colder waters. Skomal will find out quickly that catching a porbeagle will prove highly frustrating, but in order to draw one closer to them, they attempt to fish for the shark. At first, a porbeagle does get on the line, but escapes easily. They return at dawn the next day. They fish again and get a very young porbeagle on the line, and they suit up to help the fish into the boat to measure and tag it before releasing it again. We see that the proportional size of the porbeagle’s set of gills is huge in comparison to bigger species, another adaptation that helps them in this environment. The scientists hope the tag will help them gather evidence that this area off Cape Cod is a nursery area for baby porbeagles.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Vortex</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is a lovely little special with a shark not seen on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> very often. And a lot of people seem to be very surprised when they find out a small number of sharks are at least partially warm-blooded. I was at the Discovery Center in Boise, Idaho a few weeks ago visiting an exhibit called </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet Shark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and I heard at least three people exclaim that they never knew there were warm-blooded sharks. This is exactly why we need shows like this on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and not just the usual “oooh, sharks are scary” nonsense. – <b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 7/9</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>#6 – Return to Isle of Jaws</b></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Monday, July 24, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QFPfSUlOLME/WYCyYk7fH1I/AAAAAAAANd4/tIEVMsJ4uDsBMD3bS-eSevl8C_lDwgUBgCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_06_Return_to_Isle_of_Jaws_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="665" data-original-width="1200" height="221" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QFPfSUlOLME/WYCyYk7fH1I/AAAAAAAANd4/tIEVMsJ4uDsBMD3bS-eSevl8C_lDwgUBgCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_06_Return_to_Isle_of_Jaws_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As befits the title, we have yet another great white-centric episode, and yes, it is yet another sequel to an effort from last year. Luckily, I really enjoyed </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Isle of Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> during </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 2016, even if I did question the veracity of one segment that read a little contrived to me. Still, I hoped at the time for a follow-up this year, and now I have it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We once again meet cameraman and star Andy Casagrande, who could easily just get a lot of work simply filming </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> specials (he is in the credits for a surprising number of these shows), but has just enough charisma to perform well as a host on his own. Before Andy and his team head back to the Neptune Islands off Australia, home of the so-called Isle of Jaws, we are given a recap of last year’s visit to the area. After that, Andy and diver Paul de Gelder take to a motorized shark cage and drop it to the bottom of the area and discover, just like last year, that only male sharks are to be seen milling about in the water. Andy leaves the relative safety of the cage to get better footage of each sharks’ dorsal fins and body markings. After a while, seeing the docile nature of the males here, they decide to drive the cage to an area frequented by seals. However, swells in the water shake the cage around and rattle them against the rocks under the surface close to shore, so Andy and Paul have to abandon the cage. Standing in waist high water, they tie a rope to the cage to maneuver it out into deeper water.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Twins? Wait until the third identical shark joins them...</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Much of the special is fairly repetitive, both in regards to last year's doc and also within itself, but the new episode is livened up by some terrific shots of these large males swimming in seeming comfort with each other in a way that would normally lead to fights over territory or even outright attacks elsewhere. The mystery lies in exactly why this sort of behavior seems to only occur here near the Isle of Jaws. Late in the show, as Andy leaves the cage, several of the males start to investigate both the cage and the divers out in the open. Eventually, Andy notices that a pair of the males seem to be swimming in synchronized fashion, turning at the same time and keeping in formation for pass after pass.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The pair also seem to have nearly identical birthmarks on their tailfins, leading to the possibility that they might be brothers/twins and would appear to be a scientific first. Later, after telling the other scientists of their find, a subsequent dive has them discover a third male great white with the same tail markings. The thought is that perhaps what has been found at the Isle of Jaws is a school of young great whites, which is previously unheard of activity, and especially could mean that great whites form rudimentary family bonds after all. Until further DNA testing is done, we won’t know what is really going on at the Isle of Jaws, but I would bet everything on a third in the series next year during </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. – </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 7/9</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#7 – Alien Sharks: Stranger Fins</span></b></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered Monday, July 24, 2017)</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This show is exactly my type, and the kind to which I most look forward each year (when they have them). Since I will never get a full </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> one year that is entirely devoted entirely to smaller, less known species, I have to embrace shows like </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alien Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> as much as I can. That they subtitled this year’s episode in honor of the current popularity of Stranger Things was an added bonus, but luckily they don’t play up the “monster” theme at all. The producers obviously just wanted it to make the latest version sound a little more eerie and also tap into some of the buzz surrounding a millennial favorite.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sawsharks and goblin sharks are in focus here, and I fully welcome their intrusion into the usual </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> routine. I have no idea if Discovery planned this out or not, but later in the week there is a special devoted to the sawfish, which is actually a type of ray, so it is quite timely that we get to see the differences between sawsharks and sawfishes in the same week. For the record, sawsharks are a distinct order of sharks with a variety of species, but all have gills on the side of their bodies like most other sharks and also have two barbels that extend from their “saws” about halfway down the saw’s length.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fourth episode of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alien Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> starts with Dr. Craig O’Connell of the O’Seas Conservation Foundation and Dr. Jane Williamson of MacQuarie University as they set sail on a research trawler to the Bass Strait between Australia and Tasmania to find and hopefully tag sawsharks. (For those playing the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> drinking game – though that would not include me – they do say </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“for the first time ever”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> at this point, a standard SW declaration.) Nets attached to the trawler by winch are pulled in to collect various specimens – the trawler is used to study fish populations – and they hope that sawsharks will be numbered amongst those specimens.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A similar situation is shown to be taking place concurrently in Tokyo Bay as Dr. Dave Ebert and marine biologist Victoria Elena Vásquez board a boat usually used for hauling in deep sea crabs to find the elusive goblin shark. First they visit the world’s largest fish market in Tokyo to see if they can locate any goblins for sale, but come up empty. So they meet a local fisherman who has been more successful catching crabs deeper in the area than anyone else, and he tells them that he quite frequently catches goblin sharks but considers them “trash” because he can’t earn money from them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the remainder of the hour, the action will cut between these two boats seeking entirely different types of sharks, and both will fortunately have successful payoffs for their efforts. For the viewer, the hour will hold a never-ending stream of species you normally don’t see during </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Best of all, the sharks will all be returned to the water to live out their lives after the scientists measure them, collect observable data, take DNA samples, and quite often tag the sharks to collect migration and depth data (for examples).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">O’Connell and Williamson strike first by bringing up an elephant fish, also known in this case as the Australian ghostshark. This species (</span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Callorhinchus milii</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">) is part of the family of plough-nosed chimaeras, and are not really sharks at all but do belong to the same class of cartilaginous fishes that sharks and rays do. (They and the chimaeras are in their own subclass separate from the elasmobranchs, though in different families.) The elephant fish is a marvelous sight, with its weird snout dangling off the end of its head. O’Connell’s crew gets their sawshark pretty early on in their search, and then pull in several more sawsharks after that. This particular species is the common sawshark, also known as a longtooth or longnose sawshark (</span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pristiophorus cirratus</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">). Later, they will pull a gummy shark (aka Australian smooth hound, flake, or smooth dog-shark) and yet another elephant fish.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The boat in Tokyo Bay, for my money, pulls in the wider array of cool sharks in the show, starting first with their own ghostshark, this time of the other family within the <i>Holocephali</i> subclass, the chimaeras. Not long after, Ebert and </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Vásquez</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> help to pull in one shark after the other throughout the first day’s efforts: a cute, newborn gulper shark; a bioluminescent seal shark or kitefin (<i>Dalachias licha</i>); a shovelnose (birdbeak) dogfish (<i>Deania calcia</i>); a mandarin dogfish (<i>Cirrhigaleus barbifer</i>), which has barbels much like a catfish; a cloudy catshark (<i>Scyliorhinus torazame</i>), followed by a demon catshark (<i>Apristurus japonicus</i>). In later pulling of the nets, we will see them pull in an unidentified species of lanternshark, along with the rather snake-like frilled shark, which for my money is one of the coolest finds on the show (it has six gill slits where most sharks have five) and might as well just be called the Muppet shark for how it looks exactly like some frightening form of hand puppet. (There were many other species of sharks, 22 overall, that were found on their trip, and I can only wish this episode of <i>Alien Sharks</i> was two hours long to give them all time.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In discussing the differences and similarities between sawsharks and sawfishes, we are told both give birth to live pups, and then are shown a video by Dr. Dean Grubb’s experience last year in encountering a pregnant sawfish where two of its babies were unable to come out of the mother because they were jammed in side by side. Grubb had to grab hold of one baby’s rostrum and pull it free, thereby helping the sawfish give birth. This, to me, made the watching of this special entirely worth it, though the rest of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alien Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was nothing but a love affair for me as well. Going back to the trawler, O’Connell wants to study exactly how sawsharks use the teeth on their rostrum, since he is pretty certain they don’t impale their prey with their snouts like sawfishes do. They develop a camera rig harness that they can attach to one of the sawsharks and send it on its way. A few hours later, O’Connell with search for the detached harness to see what the camera shows him, but the harness has become trapped in the only kelp forest in the area and he has no diving equipment with him to seek it out and return it. Finally, he will locate the camera floating on it own, and when they review the footage, we get “the first” footage of a sawshark’s journey across the ocean floor. Unfortunately, no hunting behavior is seen this time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Tokyo Bay crew has camera tricks of its own, and they pay off in spades. Ebert and Vásquez left a camera on the bottom of the bay last year to collect video of deep sea sharks and other fish, and when they view the results at a local pub, they (and we) see a hagfish, spider crabs, a sharp-nosed sevengill shark, and the same new species of lanternshark they just caught earlier on the boat. This will give Vásquez the rare opportunity to name another new species of lanternshark, just as she did the previous year when she identified the ninja lanternshark.(See yesterday’s recap for more information on that.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The show will get down to one of those </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“It was our last day”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> or </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“last chance”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> scenarios, with the hours whittling down to mere minutes before whatever it is they were searching for is discovered </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“at the last minute”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Ebert and Vásquez will finally get their goblin shark, a small one that will help their theory that Tokyo Bay may be used mainly as both a mating ground and pupping ground by goblin sharks, explaining why the relatively small size of specimens captured here are only 4 feet long, when a fully grown adult goblin can reach 20 feet long. The specimen they capture will need to be revived after its journey from its normal depths to the surface, which they will manage successfully. Finally, there is a terrific moment where they test the speed and reach of a goblin’s jaws, one of the more ghoulish-looking natural acts you could ever find, it’s jaws jutting forward several inches to grab gruesomely at whatever it can get. The best that can be said is that goblin sharks certainly have a rather unique look all to their own.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alien Sharks: Stranger Fins</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, if you couldn’t tell, was precisely what I wanted from </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">: an immensely interesting and scientific cataloguing of many species of sharks, giving me glimpses at things I normally only get to see in photos and drawing in books. If you saw my comments about her yesterday, and it sounds like I am more than a little enamored by the presence of Vicky Vásquez in the show, I am sincere in my belief that her buoyant personality is exactly what </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> needs in the future to help sell the public on the importance of sharks in our oceans. Celebrities are fine to figuratively put butts in seats, but while Discovery has found a number of appealing hosts for these shows from out of the scientists, divers, and photographers they engage – respectively, Dr. O’Connell, Paul de Gelder, and Andy Casagrande – Vásquez is the real deal, someone with not just the scientific experience but also an impossibly engaging personality that could possibly turn her into a franchise player if developed properly. I mentioned Steve Irwin yesterday, but on a third viewing of the show, I was kind of getting a combination of Rachael Ray and Kari Byron, only with shark creds. You might bristle at such a combination (and I am not necessarily a fan of Ray’s but I don’t dislike her), but that’s a show that I will tune into time and again. I hope Vásquez will be back for more next year. – </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: the exceedingly rare, as if it came up from the very depths of the ocean, 9/9</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>#8 – Sharks and the City: L.A. </b></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(premiered Tuesday, July 25, 2017)</i></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N4fgXFa89dM/WYCyY0ow1WI/AAAAAAAANeA/6pOldB3e27UNquT9YwoAOwKKu8TbTXKtACLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_08_Sharks_and_the_City_LA_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="662" data-original-width="1200" height="220" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N4fgXFa89dM/WYCyY0ow1WI/AAAAAAAANeA/6pOldB3e27UNquT9YwoAOwKKu8TbTXKtACLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_08_Sharks_and_the_City_LA_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Sharks and the City: L.A.</i> has everything you expect from a modern great white film documentary. Cage diving, seals, shark tagging, and a lot of worry about what happens when great whites get too close to human populations at the beach. The scenes in the water with great whites are compelling as usual though perhaps a bit generic (but one must understand that we are talking about a high quality product here, as today’s generic is of a higher standard than yesterday’s outstanding; the cinematography by Andy Casagrande and team is marvelous.) There is a thrilling section where one diver finds himself with failing equipment and has to make a dangerous break for the surface. We see some cool examples of how larger sharks might possibly bully younger, smaller whites for competition for food sources. One gets a lot of action in a short period, and anyone seeking out a shark doc could do far, far worse than this one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But, boy, did I ever have a problem with this doc.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We live in the Southern California area, and hardly a day has gone by the past couple of years – and especially this year – in which sharks didn’t show up at some point in the daily local news broadcasts. The reason is because the population of juvenile great whites in the area’s beaches are way up over past years, and shark alerts are constantly out over the baby whites encroaching into popular swimming and surfing areas. The addition of drones laden with cameras as everyday technology in our lives, as well as the now ubiquitous usage of easily adaptable Go-Pro cameras, have led to the discovery of far more sharks swimming around us than we are comfortable knowing are out there. This, in turn, leads to more footage of these sharks on the news, and then that leads to more people unfamiliar with how sharks actually operate in our oceans going overboard with demands for something to be done about it. (I call this the Church Lady Faction, even though this has nothing to do with religion, but it takes a similar type of person – usually blue-nosed and anti-science to the exclusion of everything but human beliefs and concerns – to get wound up about such things.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There have been numerous articles published about what exactly is going on in Southern California regarding the upsurge in great white activity, and no matter what the reasons, it is pretty much agreed that the bulk of sightings are juveniles. The occasional adult is sighted, but by and large, juveniles are the ones sticking closest to the hotter water areas near the shores where swimming, surfers and kayakers alike are not just in as close a proximity as most would like with these sharks, but also reporting much erratic behavior on the part of the sharks. Most reports credit the mass of stingrays in the area as a big part of the attraction for these sharks, as they hone their hunting skills and hope to make an easy meal. What they are not doing is targeting humans, since great whites do not have us on their menus, but naturally, accidents will occur here and there. Even with that, the accidents have thus far been rather minimal given how much great interaction there is currently.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The upswing in great white activity has been so noticeable that some popular whale and dolphin watching services have taken to adding “shark sighting” tours into their schedules as well. My wife Jen and I are big fans of one particular service, Captain Dave’s, and when Dave’s started to do their own shark sightings out of Dana Point, my wife and my mother-in-law surprised me with a tour on the very first day of operation. (Though we were the second boat to go out, we were the first to make contact.) That’s right, we went out in a 24-ft. boat with 9 other people and we zipped through the shallows (10 to 20 ft. deep) all the way down to San Clemente, and were guided by the ghost of Richard Nixon’s head to our encounter with a juvenile great white of our own. Only once did it break the surface barely with its dorsal, but otherwise remained just below the water while we floated about with the baby white for roughly 45 minutes. For me, since I am a terrible swimmer and will probably never get dive-certified to be able to go down in a cage, this was probably the closest I will actually get in the wild to a great white, and I was in a dreamland all my own the entire trip. (A fellow boat took our picture with the shark in the foreground and so we ended up on the Facebook page for the safari service. I got my own pictures of the shark as well, though none were as clear as that first one.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It seemed to me that a lot could be made of this situation for a shark documentary, one that could enlighten the public as to all the reasons why the baby whites are here, and that could show how they are mostly oblivious to our presence as they instinctually go through their natural growth patterns and hone their hunting skills on fish and stingray, eventually working their way up to seals, all with the Southern California landscape as a backdrop. I am sure that such a special would be most beneficial to both the humans and the sharks in the area, and answer a lot of questions that people might have over the great white presence here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Sharks and the City: L.A.</i> sounds like it could be that show, and even started out making me think it was indeed that very show. Dr. Chris Lowe of Shark Lab has spent the past decade tagging younger sharks in the area and studying their patterns and growth. And as the lead in <i>Sharks and the City: L.A.</i>, he gives us a whirlwind of tour of how great whites are leaving their marks in all sorts of local places offshore from L.A.: Catalina Island to see footage of a spearfishing encounter with a 15-ft. white; San Miguel Island at a sea lion colony; and a whale carcass of California where great whites have been feeding.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Chris’ theory is that the DNA he has collected from sharks at the sea lion colony are more closely related to sharks from the Guadalupe Island area in Mexico than they are from the normal California aggregation sites. And so, around the 13-minute mark, the special moves to Mexico for pretty much the remainder of a special that is supposed to be in the L.A. area. It is told to us over and over that adult sharks are all over L.A. beaches, and the fact that the ones so famously close to short this summer are mostly juveniles is never stressed on the show. (This astounds me, because Shark Lab was a part of the articles that I read about why the juveniles were here in great numbers, including this one from just four weeks ago in the OC Register: </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>http://www.ocregister.com/2017/07/05/why-we-have-so-many-sharks/</i></span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Instead, because it is more apt to get bigger ratings for </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, we get cage diving scenes off Guadalupe Island, so that we can have exciting encounters with bigger, scarier sharks. The show takes pains to point out that one must understand these sharks to avoid creating a panic, but then coats shot after shot of injuries upon sea lions at San Miguel with horror movie-style musical tones. Ultimately, Lowe’s idea about what is going on in Guadalupe is that there are too many sharks competing for too small a seal population, and so the ones showing up off the coast of L.A. are the ones who have been muscled out of Guadalupe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know, this is all fine, and I find Lowe's theories and conclusions to be completely sound, and in fact, even agree with them. I like Lowe and his work with Shark Lab, and I take no issue with his work normally. My issue is with appearances and objectives, and this documentary fails the immediate question at hand about the increase of juvenile great whites </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">in the area initially stated in the premise of the program</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. This special is really about adult great whites in areas for the most part away from the real areas that make the local and national news with increasing regularity. This is what should be addressed here. Lowe does come across one shark in Guadalupe that he had tagged as a juvenile in Santa Monica Bay previously, and he then sees that shark moving away from Guadalupe, perhaps due to bullying from bigger sharks. He muses over the shark likely returning to Southern California, and they state flatly on the show that perhaps this sort of activity explains the increase. But that is a bullshit connection, because most of the adult sharks they are discussing as leaving Guadalupe weren’t even tagged as juveniles off the beaches of Southern California. It explains that one shark from which they receive a clear signal, but nothing more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it still has little to do with the preponderance of younger juveniles in the shallows off L.A. I guess we will have to leave actual answers to that for a more direct special. - <b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 5/9</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>#9 – Sharks and the City: New York </b></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(premiered Tuesday, July 25, 2017)</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YPH3-qljDjg/WYCyZGygZYI/AAAAAAAANeI/S2OorUN4IfA3PPpAXHVc_wP4tvwCYkkNgCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_09_Sharks_and_the_City_NY_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="656" data-original-width="1200" height="217" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YPH3-qljDjg/WYCyZGygZYI/AAAAAAAANeI/S2OorUN4IfA3PPpAXHVc_wP4tvwCYkkNgCLcBGAs/s400/Shark_Week_2017_09_Sharks_and_the_City_NY_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Man, I really like Dr. Craig O’Connell. It may not be for reasons that he appreciates, but I like the guy. He’s a solid scientist doing some good work (I really enjoyed his special about the use of magnets around sharks last year), but there is just a touch of Jack Hanna to him. He is super excitable when things are going well with a sighting or a tag or he seems to be close to proving a theory, and his excitement over sharks is infections. But, boy oh boy, does he ever get that look in his eyes – the same one that Hanna does – and that sense of gathering flop sweat when he starts to think that maybe something is going slightly askew or even fully wrong. I mentioned something to this degree last year, but don’t get me wrong. I am not mocking Dr. O’Connell, but in fact, praising him for appearing a tad more human than many of the people who host these shows.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Craig O'Connell</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unlike the L.A. version of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharks and the City</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, which as I mentioned couldn’t wait to get out of the L.A. area and hightail it down to Mexico for the bulk of its running time, the New York version not only announces its intent to concentrate on the NY Bight area – a triangular stretch of water reaching from Montauk at the end of Long Island to Cape May, the southernmost point in New Jersey. In typical interviews with locals about the prospects of great whites living in local waters, the residents seem pretty cavalier and jokey about the subject. As in the L.A. version, a floating whale carcass is investigated, but in this one, O’Connell and his team encounter a large male shark tearing into the flesh of the whale but also interacting with the camera. Going back to New York Harbor, another whale that had been rammed by a boat is studied before the navy arrives to sink the carcass further offshore. The body shows massive damage done to it by huge shark bites in the flesh. Guessing that there may be a great white right under his boat at that moment, he fishes for it, but ends up with nothing after hours of running a line. He needs more proof.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is a discussion of the seal population, once nearly extinct in the NY area, finally rebounding, which will prove to be a boon to sharks in coming years. There was already such a rebound in Massachusetts, and with the seals came the larger sharks. O’Connell sees a resemblance between the islands in the New York area and those in South Africa, and so he and cameraman Andy Casagrande (he’s a busy guy, I tell you) head briefly across the pond to dive with the seals in the kelp beds there. They cage dive with the whites there to see not just how the sharks behave but to find how the currents, the rocky bottom and murkiness of the water roughly match that of the NY Bight area. And just like that, where the L.A. version of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharks in the City</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> broke away from the area it was supposed to be covering by the 13-minute mark and chiefly remained in Mexico for the remaining 30 minutes, the New York version is done with South Africa already after just about a 10-minute visit, and then zips back to its homeland to cover its announced intentions. As you have learned in today's reviews, staying on topic, or at least circling back around to it, is a big, big thing with me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">O’Connell continues fishing NY Harbor, and comes up with a dogfish via hook, and then tows a line behind his boat for hours to eventually come up with a female sandbar shark close to shore. Sharks are in the area, but he hasn’t found the female great white he wants to possibly prove that whites are pupping in this area. He moves over to the end of the Bight in Montauk, the area where Capt. Frank Mundus, the famous shark-murderer who inspired the role of Quint in Jaws, once caught a record 3,427-lb. great white in 1988. O’Connell cage-dives to the bottom at Montauk, but after the fish scurry away as if something big is in the water down there, Craig frustratingly runs out of air and has to head back to the surface. His team places a baited camera trap and eventually gathers evidence of at least nine different, juvenile great whites patrolling the waters off Montauk, which possibly points to large females using the NY Bight to give birth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ultimately, O'Connell returns to New York Harbor to try his luck again. (Once more, we have a "last chance" cliche in one of these shows, the most common recycled trope in fact). With a tropical storm threatening to hit the area, narrator Chris Noth – Mr. Big himself – tells us that Craig and his team pulled a 48-hr. shift on the water to capture a white before the storm hit. Craig does finally pull in a very young (possibly a month or two old) 5’5” beauty that they measure, take DNA samples, and then attach a fin cam to the shark. However, despite his obvious, screaming glee at catching the fish, when they attach the fin cam, it comes off almost immediately. (Noth says the shark is "a true New Yorker; his private life is nobody's business.) You can see the "why me?," almost Charlie Brown-like, on O'Connell's face, and it is kind of adorable. He gets results, but he is going to show you every fret and worry along the way, along with the joy. – </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating: 7/9</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's it for Days 2 and 3 of Shark Week. We will have more to come. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Same shark-time, same shark-channel...</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">RTJ</i><br />
<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-87301348060053202182017-07-31T13:19:00.000-07:002017-07-31T13:21:50.117-07:00Shark Week 2017: Day 1 (and More) Recap<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Since there is a metric butt ton of stuff to cover right now in regards to </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">SharkFest</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, I am going to stifle all of my normal preaching right here at the top about saving sharks and not using fear to promote these endeavors, blah blah blah... You know, the junk that I usually rant about to kick off these things. Instead, with so many episodes behind us now that </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has actually concluded – and with me, despite what I stated was my intent over a week ago, getting started completely late in the game due to unforeseen personal circumstances – let's just dive right into the first night of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and let any further ranting flow naturally out of my thoughts for each special. (Not that most of the specials have set me off yet except the first one, but I always reserve the right to go nuts should an opportunity arise...)</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">#0 – Sharktacular 2017</span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered on July 7, 2017)</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hosted by cult horror director Eli Roth, who has also held court over the nightly </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark After Dar</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">k talk show for the past three seasons during </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (more later), </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharktacular</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is nothing more than a preview special designed to ramp up anticipation of this year’s catalog of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> specials. For some reason, while I am always excited for another </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> to roll around each summer, I tend to skip the preview episode and generally don’t watch it until I have already viewed the rest of the event's episodes. Mostly, this is so I don’t judge the episodes before seeing them. And this is exactly what I have done this year, with the exception of the final night's second Michael Phelps episode, which I probably won't see for a couple more days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I run hot and cold with Roth’s films (while recognizing his clear talent behind the camera), he remains a pleasure for me in his continued involvement with </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. A relative newcomer to scuba diving (only taking it up three years ago), Roth appears quite eager to find himself in further adventures in the deep with sharks, and that enthusiasm shines through in both </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark After Dark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and this preview special. While no full special is built around his latest sojourn, in which Discovery sent him down to Tahiti to free dive with hundreds of sharks, the brief scenes of him diving here are a welcome, more leisurely respite from the usual slam-bang content of such previews: viral videos featuring sharks, a fairly specious Top 5 list which highlights close calls from </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">shows over the years, and clips from the new episodes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Naturally, those short clips interspersed throughout the full hour of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharktacular</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> leave you with some sort of cliffhanger as they close, usually with a diver or divers in possible, implicit danger from their toothy subjects. It is not lost on me that it is rather appropriate that the producers of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> choose to use fear to sell viewers on their wares when they have a man known for his theatrical horror efforts in front of the camera. But Roth seems to prefer to be open and friendly on the screen, and more content to share his own clear passion for sharks and science, and tends to not build up the selling point of fear any more than the clips (and the deep-toned narrator) do themselves. Having a horror guy as the face of their product on air, I do find it rather interesting that </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> doesn’t seek to exploit the possibilities of this connection since they have no problem using fear as the primary attraction to each year’s event. But instead, we get commercials with the singer Seal being eaten by a great white while singing on a dock to a crowd, and of course, we get swimmer Michael Phelps in endless promo after promo. I am glad, though, that they don’t use Roth’s horror talents for this, and I rather doubt he would want to do such a thing anyway. I hope that as long as he is involved with the event that he continues to not allow them to push such an agenda, and simply remains a steady, reliable host invested in his subject. As it is, this preview special is nothing really special, just the expected prolonged advertisement. </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating - 5/9</span></i></b><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>#1 – Great White Serial Killer Lives</b></span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered on July 23, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1P0oaC5Yzqc/WX-OP1vhzqI/AAAAAAAANdA/dR2O_rekWAcScBEIkDs1-sNdk72KAKlWACEwYBhgL/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_01_GWSK_Lives_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="673" data-original-width="1200" height="222" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1P0oaC5Yzqc/WX-OP1vhzqI/AAAAAAAANdA/dR2O_rekWAcScBEIkDs1-sNdk72KAKlWACEwYBhgL/s400/Shark_Week_2017_01_GWSK_Lives_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Attacks in Southern California off Surf Beach (that’s in Santa Barbara County for the uninitiated) over the span of nearly a decade lead a team of researchers to gather DNA and evidence in order to determine if the same shark is responsible for all of the attacks. While the backstory really begins with an attack in 2008, in which the surfer victim survived, the legend of a “serial killer” shark gained real legs two years later with the 2010 death of 19-year-old Luke Ransome. Following another fatal attack in October 2012, the first of the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Great White Serial Killer</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> series premiered during </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week 2013</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Chiefly using Ransome’s death as a launching pad to investigate the attacks, Brandon McMillan posed the question of whether “rogue shark” theory, such as the shark behavior represented in the film </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, is a very real thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This latest show is now McMillan’s fourth crack at keeping his </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Great White Serial Killer</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> franchise ambling along. There is nothing wrong with this, especially since science depends on repeated research to gather as much evidence as possible to either support a proposed theory or disprove it. Seeing another iteration of the same thing each year (or every other year) doesn’t bother me as long as there is enough care given to differentiate the new episode from all of the previous ones. I think my real problem with this series is the continued propping up of rogue shark theory, in title and in advertising, even when most of the evidence they collect tells us otherwise. The narrator even says the line, </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>“Could it be the same animal that’s been hunting Surf Beach… every two years.”</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (Yes, there is the expected dramatic musical flourish to punctuate the question.) It is a problem with </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in general, and with any other media based on sensation and heightened emotion (shark movies, news reports on shark-related stories): How does one promote the science behind studying sharks and other predatory creatures without coldly and cynically relying on outright fear? These specials don’t care.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Further installments of this series have sought to build up the evidence, heightened greatly by further attacks in 2014. Each time the question is primarily the same, but is it as simple as a single shark, which has developed a knack for attacking surfers (and possibly a taste for them), that migrates regularly to other climes and doesn’t return until two years later? Luckily for the series, McMillan has Dr. Michael Domeier and DNA expert Ralph Collier on his team to remain a little more level-headed regarding the research. While, in the downtime between attacks, McMillan apparently has plenty of time to work up yet another chapter raising the theory, Domeier is there to calmly point out that the bite marks from each year are off enough to say otherwise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In an off-year from their initial “two-year” theory (2015), further attacks at different beaches in the same relative area as Surf Beach points to there possibly being the same shark attacking surfers and kayakers. “Maybe even two in one day,” they propose. The bite marks on different boards from different beaches measure out to possibly being the same shark. Domeier, to his credit, says the “rogue shark” theory is, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“not that good,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> especially as we know very well that the overwhelming majority of attacks on humans are based on misidentification or accident. He also points out that adult female white sharks have a two-year migration pattern, so it is not out of the realm of possibility that the same shark could return after time and provoke another surfer, but so far the evidence there points to different sharks. But elsewhere, Brandon is still absolutely happy to work in provocative lines such as this one, after discussing great whites biting off the tail of a massive elephant seal, “So, if an 18-foot great white can take a chunk out of an animal that large, then a human would be no problem.” Dum dum dah... Thanks, Brandon, for keeping your brand going.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It sound like there is nothing but ominousness and death in this episode, but there is intentionally funny dialogue along the way, such as when they make use of a line from </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“Hooper drives the boat,”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> at one point. (Yes, they leave off the "chief" part.) The most hilarious but close to shocking thing in the show occurs when Brandon visits Guadalupe Island down Mexico way where he tags great whites with Jimi Partington, a charter captain in the area (who makes Brandon drive the boat using the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> line above) with immense experience working with the big fish. In fact, he is one of those guys who is able to put a shark into a brief state of tonic immobility by touching them on the snout. However, his touch is a bit off in the slow-motion example they show on their trip in the show, and comes about as close to losing a hand as one could wish. Reshowing the attempt a third time in slo-mo, the narrator says, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“It’s taken them years to perfect this hands-on research.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (Further attempts at the same shark actually seem to rile the shark up enough for them to realize that if the railing weren’t there, they might </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“be toast”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finding a tooth fragment during a gruesome otter necropsy to perform DNA tests, Collier also collects samples from kayaks and surfboards used in other attacks in the area. Matching the results up against the DNA taken from the Luke Ransome attack in 2010, Collier reveals near the end (spoilers allowed here, though I will not warn you about them any further than this) that nothing matches up the way they were hoping. Near the end, Domeier tells us that they recently discovered a </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“secret cove”</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> with a surging elephant seal population just a few miles away from the attack zone at Surf Beach. Most great white attacks on humans are likely due to sharks confusing swimmers and surfers with their normal prey, which includes a great love for the blubbery taste of elephant seals. So, with these revelations pretty much closing the book on rogue shark theory in the area, does this mean an end to the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Great White Serial Killer</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> series? Well, Freddy, Jason and Michael seem to keep coming back time and again… I am sure Brandon McMillan will think of something. <b><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating - 6/9</span></i></b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">#2 – </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Phelps Vs Shark: Great Gold Vs Great White</span></span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered on July 23, 2017)</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"It's man against beast! Can the greatest Olympian of all time out-swim the king of the ocean?"</span></i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's the ridiculous hyperbole that leads into <i>Phelps Vs. Shark</i>, but before we get into the idiotic furor over this special that was borne on the Twitter-sphere over the past week, let me state that at no point does Phelps come off like an asshole in the show. In fact, he comes off about as likable as he has ever been, if not a little more human for his efforts against completely insurmountable odds that would sink most of us. From about the thirty-second mark of the show, both we and Phelps, and the people surrounding him, know that there is no earthly way beyond manning a jetski or being dragged bodily by a speedboat that Phelps will be able to overcome a great white shark in the water. The team that works with Phelps first show us what the average speed of his world-record shattering butterfly stroke was in the Olympics and he tops out at a mere 5.5 miles per hour in the water. They also show you how historically fast he is with composite video where he is matched up with fellow Olympic gold champions Mark Spitz from 1972 and Michael Gross in 1984. Phelps defeats the pair easily by at least two body lengths. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is no doubt that Phelps is the greatest male Olympic swimmer of all time, but even Phelps remains humbled when he hears his speed and then the team proceeds to go about measuring the average cruising speeds of several species of sharks, including the great white. They determine the GWS has a cruising speed around 15 mph, almost three times Phelps’ average speed, but this does not take into account the great white’s breaching speed, which the special states as being around 25 mph (though I have seen estimates of up to 35 mph on some shark sites). It is clear that Phelps knows there is no way he is going to win this race, even if they add a mono-fin, which cuts his world record time at 50 meters by four seconds in a simulated race at Bimini with a hammerhead and a gray reef shark. And even after they then modify that mono-fin to Phelps’ specifications and strengths. (They allow Phelps second place by .02 seconds, and this may be so they can continue to play with him for the rest of the show. Hey, I said he doesn’t appear to be an asshole, but c’mon, everyone has a fragile ego…)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, Phelps will not win his 100-meter race against the great white, and this is because even if a modified mono-fin gets his speed up to at least 7.5 mph, he is only at the halfway mark against the average cruising speed they establish for the white. That they only have him lose by two seconds is probably another concession to superstar ego, when in fact he would probably lose by a hell of a lot more. Phelps also has an out due to the ultra-thin (only 1mm thick) dive suit he wears in the 58 degree water, when he is used to being pampered by swimming in heated pools well above 80 degrees. (He probably suffers an inordinate amount of shrinkage as well…) Cold water, speed, a micro-thin suit, not <i>actually</i> being a shark… with everything against him, Phelps is never going to win this race body for body.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So exactly why are people so pissed? Yeah, I hear a big chunk of the expressed grief is over the fact that Discovery used a computer-generated shark to complete the race. This only leads me to ask: did you seriously expect an actual race in the open water between a shark and a human being? Now, pre-2000, before the world got immeasurably more dull-witted, I might allow you some wiggle room in answering the question. But we are where we are at now, and yeah, I think a big cross-section of people in this country, and the rest of the world, are exactly dumb enough to believe they were going to see a real race. In the ‘70s, if they had thought of it, some enterprising huckster may have actually set up some sort of rig netting to try and have someone race a shark. After all, Evel Knievel was at large and, despite his successes at selling himself and his stupid daredevil ways (that we all adored as kids), he was failing to leap across canyons in a rocket. But what did he inspire? That’s right: jumping the shark, as the producers of <i>Happy Days</i> played off the inspiration of Evel to have the Fonz water-ski over a chompy fish in the surf. Looking back, it is actually amazing a man vs. shark race wasn’t attempted, but then again, Mark Spitz aside, they didn’t have someone as fast as Phelps, or his current competitors, who are all mostly faster than the champions of old. (And three decades from now, someone will be comparing the champions of tomorrow against Phelps’ times and possibly laughing.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think the real problem here is that Discovery Channel had only relatively recently washed their hands of the fake Megalodon documentary debacle of 2013 that left a lot of people questioning <i>Shark Week’s</i> scientific credentials. The current president of the company, Rich Ross, in 2014 swore off the Megalodon-style fiction programming going forward for <i>Shark Week</i>. However, I am pretty certain a computer-generated race pitting an Olympic champion against a shark probably fits squarely into the fiction category. No matter how much science they use to surround Phelps, the race itself is still nothing but a fiction, with the outcome left to the discretion of the animators and the producers. So, I completely understand why people as a whole are mostly pissed off at the show. But I am more pissed at humanity for believing this was a real thing. Stupid mankind (mostly the man part of it).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sorry, idiots out there who can't tell truth from fiction anymore, this show just doesn’t piss me off, because it was completely obvious going in that it would not be a real thing. Logic and even the slightest knowledge of sharks and/or human limits should tell you that without even seeing a trailer for it. The race in the show is quite openly no more real than the medals for athletic achievement they give the celebrities in an episode of <i>Battle of the Network Stars</i>, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some dumb fun with it. Even if I was slightly mad at <i>Phelps vs. Shark</i> for some real reason, it would not be nearly as mad as I can be at something like <i>Great White Serial Killer Lives</i>. As long as the goal of the show is not to play off fear of sharks and the basic science is sound, I am fine with approaching this special as a sort of play off the old Marvel Comics series, <i>What If?</i> It’s purely a look into a hypothetical that most of us would love to see. What if Michael Phelps raced a great white shark? I would love to see that in real life – obviously, we all would all like to see it, given the adverse reaction to a phony version – but I am also practical enough to know that there is no way Phelps could win such a race from the get-go, let alone think someone would stage such a race in real life. And the producers never let you believe you are seeing the real thing. They describe exactly how they are doing it and what you will get from it… from the very start. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That said, there is still fun to be had watching this Master of the Water get into a shark cage for his first up-close glimpse of a great white, which then forges right ahead and chomps the bars and thrash about violently more than once right in front of Phelps’ face. (<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">“</span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">That’s a shark!,”</span></i> he yells like an amazed kid when he gets out of the cage.) He (and us) get to meet several shark species as they test their various speeds, and we get glimpses at how sharks swim, including a look at how their caudal (tail) fins work to propel them. Good, clean fun and science… apparently we have forgotten what both are in this country. Let’s all get pissed because we don’t really want to take more than a second’s glance at anything before judging it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My only real beef with the show is the close of the race, where they have the great white disappear briefly and then have it breach as if catching a seal, thereby giving it the added burst of speed it needs to beat Phelps by those two mere seconds. Also, since they have no division between the mismatched swimmers except for lane markers on the surface (something no shark respects), you’d think there would be a moment where the shark would glance over and say, <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i>“What is this creature swimming next to me? Maybe I should investigate.”</i> </span>Sharks are curious, after all. But the dead-eyed computer shark just forges ahead without personality, entirely dependent upon the whim of its creators. And that is really what makes me mad here, if anything does. In the end, it’s really Phelps vs. Whatever the Producers Decide.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Look, since the role of Aquaman is taken already by some actor (who already failed as a new Conan, though I am fine with the casting choice) and since Marvel has been taking forever to get around to Namor (one of my favorite characters, who may be guesting in the new <i>Inhumans</i> series on ABC this fall), I want Michael Phelps to appear in a remake of <i>The Man from Atlantis</i>. Yeah, it’s never talked about at all as a possible revival, but even with that, I hope this doesn’t set that dream of mine back. Judging from this special, he can swim like a dolphin just fine. <b><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating - 6/9</span></i></b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">#3 – </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shark-Croc Showdown</span></span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered on July 23, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7022vOBb-mg/WX-OQQq0mKI/AAAAAAAANdE/eEfknyS9ookX0RDeuR3VoZgaymV9mQ7lACEwYBhgL/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_03_Shark-Croc_Showdown_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="670" data-original-width="1200" height="222" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7022vOBb-mg/WX-OQQq0mKI/AAAAAAAANdE/eEfknyS9ookX0RDeuR3VoZgaymV9mQ7lACEwYBhgL/s400/Shark_Week_2017_03_Shark-Croc_Showdown_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Quite definitely the best show of the first night in my opinion. <i>Shark-Croc Showdown</i> may have a title that could easily double as a Syfy original movie (but probably needs a “Robo” or “Mega” or “27-Finned” to it), but it has some of the most riveting footage in it. Star diver Paul de Gelder wants to show us what happens when Australia’s ever expanding population of saltwater crocodiles continues to overtake more and more shoreline along the Aussie coast. De Gelder, who lost his right hand and leg to a shark attack years ago, wants to study how the local sharks take to this invasion. He also wants to get answers about how the crocs hunt in the ocean, which may require different skills from the ambush hunting salties use when living in rivers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Using a fairly thrilling combination of nighttime photography (rendering much of the footage black and white) and probably the most extensive use of drone footage I have seen in a shark special to date, <i>Shark-Croc Showdown</i> has plenty of memorable moments. The tagging of a tawny nurse shark with a fin-cam gives us the sight of a shark moving fast through the waters of the night. A supposed first on the show is the camera-tagging of a large saltie so they can possibly see a showdown with sharks in close-up fashion. We see tawnies gathered around a baited camera trap feeding so violently near the bottom that they end up clouding the water almost totally. Photographer Joe Romeiro’s nighttime dive with a swarm of 30-40 sharks gets increasingly dangerous as more and more species join up to dart and dive about frenetically.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We get some cool footage of pilot fish feeding off the camera nurse’s back while it swims, and even cooler drone footage of nurse sharks following dolphins, not to attack them, but use the mammals to guide them to the same food sources. It almost looks like both species are working together, even if the sharks really are just taking advantage of the dolphins. While we never get footage from the croc-cam of a saltie’s encounter with a shark, we still get scene after scene from above the water of crocs meeting up with small gangs of sharks, all intent mostly on capturing whatever it is the croc has in its jaws (most often, a poor sea turtle). These scenes are the ones that really grabbed my attention, because it almost felt like I was playing some type of nature video game, so different the footage was from what I normally see on these shows. (These scenes were so prevalent in <i>Shark-Croc Showdown</i> that they really overrode anything else in my memory.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We also get a great cross-section of shark life off the Aussie coast. At least 11 different species of shark – including tawny nurses, sicklefin lemons, blacktips, tigers, hardnoses, and even a giant hammerhead – are counted in the dives and the filmed encounters with salt water crocs in the special. And, if anything, the show displays amply that saltwater crocs are really far more dangerous in shallow waters to humans than sharks are; many times more dangerous. (The whole running-up-on-shore thing kind of adds an extra element to their menace.) The simple, stark sight of a glowing white croc eye in the middle of nothing else but darkness is far more frightening to me than any of the shark footage on this first night of <i>Shark Week</i>. That might be “species-ist” of me, but hey, some of my best friends have been reptiles. (No, really, I hung out with this pair of bearded dragons at college…) <b><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating - 8/9</span></i></b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">#4 – </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Great Hammerhead Invasion</span></span></b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (premiered on July 23, 2017)</i><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nP9-7ty5Y4E/WX-OQpxbSgI/AAAAAAAANdM/QUfLdJ5PTu8uMn1dlixs_p3DBp85ixZpwCEwYBhgL/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_04_Great_Hammerhead_Invasion_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="1200" height="220" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nP9-7ty5Y4E/WX-OQpxbSgI/AAAAAAAANdM/QUfLdJ5PTu8uMn1dlixs_p3DBp85ixZpwCEwYBhgL/s400/Shark_Week_2017_04_Great_Hammerhead_Invasion_web1200.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All of the advance materials that I saw (and my DVR) had </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Devil Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> – about the tendency for sharks to party down around various volcanic islands – in this slot on Sunday night. Since I was unable to watch some episodes on television, I instead ran into this episode instead on Discovery’s online site, where it was touted as the fourth premiere of the evening. (</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Devil Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> premiered last Wednesday instead, which is when the schedule had </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Great Hammerhead Invasion</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> scheduled originally.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The strength of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Great Hammerhead Invasion</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> lies first in featuring a different species from the usual suspect (that being the great white), and secondly in that hammerhead sharks, great or otherwise, are so damn cool. And still so damn alien-looking. Nothing seems right about them, and that is to their credit. In the case of the great hammerhead, it is rare to see one as well, so an entire special devoted to why great hammerheads tend to mass in the waters off Bimini in the Bahamas every November is a real treat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This episode falls into the “shark tagging” subgenre of shark docs, which may have taken over cage diving and chumming as the dominant activity in shark documentaries. Years ago, tagging seemed to almost be a postscript, devoted to a short chunk just before the end credits (“Well, we won’t be back here until next year, so let’s tag a couple of these suckers before we go”) or at most, confined to the last quarter hour of the show. Now, it is almost an unwritten rule that tagging is mentioned as early in each show as possible, and some shows even devote the entirety of their running time to the job. If you don’t like to watch shark tagging, skip <i>Shark Week</i>, because that is the norm now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>The Great Hammerhead Invasion’s</i> narrator does indeed mention that they plan to tag as many hammerheads as possible in order to more fully determine the reasons behind their gathering, but another activity takes up the forward half of the hour. Since part of the possible M.O. of these sharks is that the females may be pregnant, the crew dives into the shallows and attempt to perform a live ultrasound on the hammer-ladies as they swim by them. Since the girls are sensitive at first to being touched up close by the tools the humans plan to use to test the sharks, the divers spent days attempting train a few sharks to get used to being touched about their abdomens. There was a show last year that performed an ultrasound on a pregnant tiger shark, but that does not lessen the impact when we see the developing pups inside the mama hammerhead. I certainly found it far more compelling than anything on my friends’ Facebook pages involving their kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A nice bit in the middle of the show is a visit with a stingray, which is a prime food source for the hammerheads (and many other sharks, including the juvenile great whites converging here in Southern California waters this year, who have been granted a high media profile). Another possible reason for the gathering in the Bahamas is that, if the female hammers are indeed pregnant, they are building up strength briefly by gorging on the local dinner fare – mainly stingrays – before pupping elsewhere, possibly to the north. To get us up close and personal with the creatures, the show's host, Dr. Tristan Guttridge, uses a net to capture a stingray to show us its venomous barb loaded with neurotoxic venom. Unfortunately, he ends up getting jabbed briefly through the glove on his hand when the ray squirms about to free itself. He winces briefly, but calmly continues talking without pausing. That's commitment. Or else a guy who has been stung a few times...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All in all, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Great Hammerhead Invasion</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is a pretty good special featuring a protagonist which is not seen nearly enough in shark docs. As with </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark-Croc Showdown</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, I would love to see a followup to the research in this one in the future. As I said earlier, if the science is sound and compelling enough, I don't mind return visits to previous shows. Just give me a decent update or a new twist on what came before. And give me more hammerheads... </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">TC4P Rating - 7/9</span></i></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Shark After Dark</span></b><i> (nightly Sunday, July 23 through Thursday, July 27)</i></span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i9vz1WsXRBk/WX-OP6WEImI/AAAAAAAANc8/CjPt25Q8T-gQ6_wL_cdSHZfX9dNt1p_VQCEwYBhgL/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_00b_Shark_After_Dark_web1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="655" data-original-width="1200" height="174" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i9vz1WsXRBk/WX-OP6WEImI/AAAAAAAANc8/CjPt25Q8T-gQ6_wL_cdSHZfX9dNt1p_VQCEwYBhgL/s320/Shark_Week_2017_00b_Shark_After_Dark_web1200.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Host Eli Roth returns for another week of late night shark talk. It’s light, it’s silly, it’s frothy, and yet, Roth and his nightly shark “ringers” (as I term them), consisting of scientists, divers and photographers from </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> specials, are earnest enough in their love of sharks to not let a show go off the rails when celebrity guests are thrown in the mix. I am not going to recap each episode of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark After Dark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, as it is fairly disposable even with the fun, but this year’s premiere episode was a tad more interesting because it does indeed threaten to go off the rails from the start.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Emmy-winning actor Tony Hale (</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Arrested Development, Veep</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">) displays a prime (and too common) example of fear over logic in his attitude toward sharks. Hale’s saving grace is that his irrationality (which seems quite genuine) is really funny, especially in how Hale keeps interrupting others to express his disbelief how people can even think about getting in the water with such creatures. I love Hale as an actor, so I more than willing to allow him his nervousness over the subject, and you can tell that Roth would love to make it his mission to change Hale’s mind. Which, as far as I can tell, is never going to happen. It is pretty clear that the thought of sharks terrifies him. (Kudos, though, for Hale discussing Buster Bluth’s loss of his hand to a loose seal, which does explain why his character would probably be even worse in the water with a shark.) Hale cringes at even the thought of getting in the water with sharks around him, and watching him squirm and chatter nervously through footage of Phelps cage-diving and Roth free diving in Tahiti is a delight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Personally, I would love to see Discovery Channel bring on more people with such dissenting opinions, and not just have the show be a reservoir for whomever needs to promote a project that week. The week’s celebrity guests are a pretty good mix (Anthony Jeselnik, Regina Hall, Moby, and a couple of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Naked and Afraid</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> numbskulls), even if Hall only seems to be there on a press junket. Still, Charlize Theron (scheduled for the fifth night and there on a junket herself as she promotes </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Atomic Blonde</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">) has got to be the best get on the show in its history yet, you know, being from South Africa and all. You know that girl probably surfed. Surely, she has a shark story or two. And, besides, she is Charlize Theron. She is all you really need, shark stories or not. (And it turned out, she did have a story about growing up and swimming at the beaches with her family in S.A. with sharks swimming about them.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If Eli Roth moves out as host of this show after three years (they only kept original host Josh Wolff for two seasons), I don’t think that Discovery Channel needs to look any further than marine biologist Vicky Elena Vásquez. Vicky shows up as a guest with Jeselnik in Episode 2 of <i>Shark After Dark</i>, and just as she is in the <i>Alien Sharks: Stranger Fins</i> episode that aired on the second night (reviewed tomorrow), she is completely engaging. Cute, knowledgable, and clearly someone who relishes teaching others about sharks, Vasquez has a very bubbly personality and is so completely immersed in the subject of sharks that it is contagious. (She has even identified and named a rare shark species herself, the ninja lanternshark, <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Etmopterus benchleyi</span></i>, and yes, the specific name is indeed after <i>Jaws</i> author Peter Benchley, and yes, this little black dogfish does indeed look something like a ninja</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.) Definitely not camera-shy, Vasquez almost overwhelms the <i>Alien Sharks: Stranger Fins</i> show with her outsized enthusiasm for odd shark species, and this is a good thing. I sincerely hope she is in at least a couple of <i>Shark Week</i> episodes next year (most likely, another <i>Alien Sharks</i> followup). Honestly, Discover Channel and Rich Ross, I think you have a Steve Irwin-sized find on your hands here. Maybe you could even pair her up with Roth next year to co-host the entire week. I am going to watch regardless, but it would be cool to see her in an expanded role.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That’s all for Night #1 of <i>Shark Week</i>. I will be back tomorrow with the next set of recap reviews.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Same shark-time, same shark-channel... </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">RTJ</span></b></i></span><br />
<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-62218932829525395142017-07-23T10:30:00.000-07:002017-07-24T08:17:27.980-07:00Shark Week 2017 (and Everything Else) Preview<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ma7iq42pK6c/WXTd8wQJTcI/AAAAAAAANb8/i6i1r6Ul3JoSR6S5nu9qyeUw5mhgdihUwCLcBGAs/s1600/Shark_Week_2017_V1_White_Top_488_364_web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="488" height="476" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ma7iq42pK6c/WXTd8wQJTcI/AAAAAAAANb8/i6i1r6Ul3JoSR6S5nu9qyeUw5mhgdihUwCLcBGAs/s640/Shark_Week_2017_V1_White_Top_488_364_web.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I began what turned out to be an unexpected 8-month break from working on The Shark Film Office site last October (due to grievous bodily injury), I had already been damaged severely by a shark film which I had, at the time, been planning to review next on the site. The film was called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Exorcist</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and with all seriousness, that straight-to-video piece of sheer dreck – after three viewings attempting to make sense of the damnable thing – broke my brain. Really, my brain was broken after the first two viewings to the effect that I stared blankly at an empty document on my computer’s screen for about two weeks before I watched it the nearly fatal third time. Then my brainpan cracked to such a degree that I then and now truly blame my hip injury in late October at Disneyland (on the Matterhorn, no less) on the fact that I had forgotten how to operate my body in a normal fashion following three misbegotten viewings of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Exorcist</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">[Of course, I could also blame it on the fact that I have attained the golden and rarified status of “fat toad,” and that status alone has thrown many of my normal bodily functions completely out of whack. In the time since the injury, I have found out that I have osteoporosis, edema on my lower legs and in my feet, and am now pre-diabetic. This, in addition to the extreme pain and skin burning from the bursitis that I engaged following my hip injury. For the uninitiated to my ranting on the subject on my other blogs, I am better now hip-wise, having gone through a bursa injection and four months of physical therapy. And now I am turning myself into a gym mouse (I could never be a fully pledged rat, sorry), drink protein shakes in the a.m., and attempt to limit myself to 1800 calories a day. Hopefully, there will be a turnaround on all of this.]</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You may have noticed, and I have mentioned before, that going through so many films about or with sharks often leaves one breathless with the uselessness of it all. There are not very many good films expressly about sharks or with sharks as the primary characters (usually villains), and so sometimes it seems that each time I watch a new shark film that I am merely a vast wasteland of films perhaps not quite as bad as </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Exorcist</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, but certainly not much better. In order to give myself a break from the likes of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharkenstein</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and a flurry of ceaselessly twirling </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknadoes</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (which, without apologies, should be the proper plural spelling, if such a word truly existed) of the genre from time to time, I have had to expand the breadth of the site to include not just theatrical documentaries but also televised ones.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So here are, deep into July, and for nearly 30 years now, the late summer has been the province of the annual </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> broadcast on Discovery Channel. I have had my battles, mostly internalized but also some online, with Shark Week over the years, especially when the programming becomes too gratuitous – such as the constant profiling of great whites and other so-called “man-eaters” as “serial killers” and “monsters” – or when Discovery forgets that it was founded in science and decides to emulate Syfy, such as with their awful fake documentaries about Megalodon a handful of years ago. (At least their new president has pledged to never do so again… sure…) But, more often than not, they do at the very least OK and sometimes surprisingly dandy by the sharp-toothed gang, even if they sell advertising by dousing the entire thing with a thick layer of natural human fear.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shark Week 2017 Schedule (click to enlarge)</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last year’s batch of episodes, which I wrote about in length at the time (see the archive to the left), had some of the highest highs of the entire </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> series; a particular fave of mine was </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nuclear Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, which wasn't anywhere near as ridiculous as the title but it was a fascinating dive, both figuratively and literally, into the dark side of human history. I was quite impressed overall with the variety of subjects, though it is quite apparent that after almost 30 years of this, it has to be getting pretty hard to come up with new ideas, or even halfway good ones. Is having Michael Phelps “fake race” a great white this year a good idea? I think no one involved is really thinking they are selling that he could actually win a real one, and I don’t have a problem with Phelps, possibly the greatest swimmer of forever, being someone that might draw new viewers to check out shark docs. Especially if those viewers leave the show all “woke” about saving sharks, which is a big thing for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I know they are not even close to the ratings grabbers that endless hours of pure great white entertainment are, I most often prefer the hours during </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> where other shark species are given at least a small focus. This year, I am most excited about a special built around the sawfish. Yes, sawfishes are actually rays (though they often called carpenter sharks), I always welcome rays to </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and do wish they were included a bit more often. I am also pleased to see that Eli Roth is back – I think for the third straight year – as host of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark After Dark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, the late night recap show that often features comedians and Roth pals playing trivia games and generally talking shark. You may or may not like Roth’s films – for the record, I run hot and cold on them, though I recognize both his talent and love for the horror genre – but I think he is actually a pretty good host, and it was clear from the last couple of years that his involvement goes beyond mere hosting duties and that he is also personally invested in saving sharks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don’t want to dig too deeply into this year's <i>Shark Week</i> at this time, mainly because the fun begins tonight and I don’t want to burn myself out before I even get to the full first post. I plan to put up at least three posts throughout the course of <i>Shark Week</i> – each one recapping two or three days of the week, which Discovery has, in its wisdom, usually turned into eight days. This is mostly because everyone knows that Saturday nights are murder on ratings, so Discovery has the week go from one Sunday to the next Sunday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is where I am to be found certifiably nuts... I am also planning to cover Nat Geo Wild’s alternative </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> programming – called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">SharkFest</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> – and yes, they have indeed secured the services of Phelps’ former Olympic teammate Ryan Lochte to spoof the Phelps stuff on Discovery. (Typical of a production that not just accepts but also prides itself in its #2 status, there are only four new <i>SharkFest</i> episodes this year. As a result, I have not yet decided if I will review all of <i>SharkFest</i> in a single post or two.)</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4ocok5jswd0/WXUPPOEzVcI/AAAAAAAANcc/Cn523YtjhuAW4Z_ElLoB3eJBZcg3dy3fwCLcBGAs/s1600/Sharknado%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="359" data-original-width="640" height="358" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4ocok5jswd0/WXUPPOEzVcI/AAAAAAAANcc/Cn523YtjhuAW4Z_ElLoB3eJBZcg3dy3fwCLcBGAs/s640/Sharknado%2B5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And, naturally, this all leads straight to </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> over on Syfy Channel starting next Sunday, July 30, with a full week of new stupid, cheesy shark film premieres… Two of them even star Tara Reid!!! (The exclamation points are fully tongue in cheek; let's just say I am not much of a fan.) I will eventually publish separate reviews for all six of the new premiere films for </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, including </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado 5: Global Swarming.</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It does dismay me a little bit that many people on social media seem to confuse <i>Sharknado Week</i> with <i>Shark Week</i>, and that is probably for two very good reasons. The first is that the weeks are (purposefully) jammed together by their respective studios so that the second plays off the popularity of the first. The second... is that people are idiots. Instead of differentiating between the science and truthfulness that should define the first week, where they should gather a very real picture of sharks in our world, they instead focus solely on the fictional (and extremely science-fictional) side of movie sharks. Sure, most people would just claim this is all good clean fun, but when the real sharks in our world are misinterpreted after filtering through the slowly decaying group intellect of the masses and come out looking only like tornado-dwelling monsters, then it makes fighting the good fight to save the real sharks in our world even harder. When people put up tweets like <i><span style="color: #990000;">"It's Shark Week today... why do I have to wait until August 5th for Sharknado 5?,"</span></i> you should be able to understand why I spend most visits to social media sites with my head shaking in bewilderment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What this all means is that, for the next three weeks at least on The Shark Film Office, it will seem to be a constant feeding frenzy here. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Before I go, I should mention that I kicked off my own </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> on Saturday instead, by finally tackling a theatrical viewing of the great white-centric </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">47 Meters Down</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. You know, the one with the two dopey sisters who apparently break every scuba diving rule possible in the course of 89 minutes? I knew the chances were more than good that </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">47 Meters Down </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">wasn’t itself, uh… good, and so I decided to also finally see </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Baby Driver</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> first, which was as magnificent as I hoped. Then came </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">47 Meters Down</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and… well, I think that I will save that for my review, probably sometime after all this </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">/</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">SharkFest</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">/</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> stuff has died down.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the meantime, whatever you do, don’t watch </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Exorcist</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Never. N-E-VER. Seriously, it will break your brain…</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">SCHEDULE</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is how the next couple weeks of shark programming line up for shark fans. I am only including premiere programming; each night features other shark programming but reruns from previous years are not listed here:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SUNDAY, July 23, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Great White Shark Serial Killer Lives</b><i> (7 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Phelps Vs Shark: Great Gold Vs Great White</b> <i>(8 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark-Croc Showdown</b><i> (9:10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Devil Sharks</b><i> (10:10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark After Dark</b><i> (11:10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKFEST</b><i> (Nat Geo Wild; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark vs. Predator</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>MONDAY, July 24, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark Vortex</b><i> (8 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Return to the Isle of Jaws</b><i> (9 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Alien Sharks: Stranger Fins</b><i> (10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark After Dark</b><i> (11 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKFEST</b><i> (Nat Geo Wild; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Tiger Shark Terror</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>TUESDAY, July 25, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Sharks and the City: L.A.</b><i> (9 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Sharks and the City: New York</b><i> (10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark After Dark</b><i> (11 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKFEST</b><i> (Nat Geo Wild; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark Swarm</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>WEDNESDAY, July 26, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Lost Cage</b><i> (9 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Great Hammerhead Invasion</b><i> (10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark After Dark</b><i> (11 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKFEST</b><i> (Nat Geo Wild; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>World’s Deadliest: Shark Frenzy!<i> </i></b><i>(8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>THURSDAY, July 27, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark Exile</b> <i>(9 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark Swarm</b><i> (10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark After Dark</b><i> (11 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKFEST</b><i> (Nat Geo Wild; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No new shows</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>FRIDAY, July 28, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>African Shark Safari</b><i> (9 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Lair of the Sawfish</b><i> (10 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKFEST</b><i> (Nat Geo Wild; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No new shows</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SATURDAY, July 29, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Sharkmania</b> <i>(9 p.m. ET/PT)</i> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">clip show featuring bits from this year’s new Shark Week episodes</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKFEST</b><i> (Nat Geo Wild; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No new shows</span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SUNDAY, July 30, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARK WEEK</b><i> (Discovery Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Shark School with Michael Phelps</b><i> (8 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKNADO WEEK</b><i> (Syfy Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>5-Headed Shark Attack</b><i> (8 p.m. ET/PT)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>MONDAY, July 31, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKNADO WEEK</b><i> (Syfy Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Mississippi River Sharks</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>WEDNESDAY, August 2, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKNADO WEEK</b><i> (Syfy Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Trailer Park Shark</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>THURSDAY, August 3, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKNADO WEEK</b><i> (Syfy Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Toxic Shark</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SATURDAY, August 5, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKNADO WEEK</b><i> (Syfy Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Empire of the Sharks</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SUNDAY, August 6, 2017</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>SHARKNADO WEEK</b><i> (Syfy Channel; check local listings)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Sharknado 5: Global Swarming</b><i> (8 p.m. ET)</i></span><br />
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-67126206633656524652017-06-07T08:30:00.000-07:002017-06-07T18:01:28.036-07:00Toothy Trailers: 47 Meters Down<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am just a little bit behind on getting this posted, but as you can see, in recent days, things have finally been a little busy around <i>The Shark Film Office</i>. I've scraped most of the barnacles off the hull and have started to refurbish the old wreck a tad. The new (or relatively new) templates available on Blogger gave me the boost. I </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">was a few months late in checking them out due to my hip injury (you can find out more about that <a href="http://cinema4celbloc.blogspot.com/2017/04/come-back-to-bloc-and-write-rikky-tod.html"><span style="color: red;"><i>on my animation blog here</i></span></a>), but once I first rebuilt my main site, <i>The Cinema 4 Pylon</i>, it became clear that I was going to end up doing an overhaul to at least one more of my blogs. So far, on both sites, I am </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">v</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ery happy with the responsive design element that has been added, though it is a bugger getting images to work on all platforms properly. Otherwise, I can't wait to dig into further tweaking of each site to make them more useful and appealing to my small (and thankfully patient) audience.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a result of all of this injury downtime, hip fixing, site rebuilding, and premium time in Photoshop, the actual writing and posting of reviews and stories on my sites has been more than a bit lacking. The Pylon has been up and running again for a couple of months, but until quite recently, I had not posted here on <i>The Shark Film Office</i> for well over half a year. This was the exact opposite of what I had intended when I resurrected this site early in 2016. The intent was for this to become <i>the</i> place for information about upcoming films about sharks and other ocean life, and most definitely the #1 place people would go to read reviews about the history of sharks on film. <i>TSFO</i> really got rolling throughout the summer last year, then everything went kablooey. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh well, over and done, and I am back to really dig into shark films (and television) for the new summer season. We've got <i>Shark Week</i> coming up on July 23 on the Discovery Channel, but we will get to that in a future post; likewise, with the premiere of the fifth film (in five years!) on August 6 of its ever increasingly ridiculous <i>Sharknado</i> series, Syfy will undoubtedly hold some sort of <i>Sharknado Week</i> as they did last year. Whether they also premiere over a half dozen other shark-related films like last year is another question, but recent news stories talking about Sharknado 5 have revealed both its subtitle, Global Swarming (suggesting a climate change theme, which the entire series has really), and its tagline: Make America Bait Again. Bloody brilliant, even in its stupidity...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the big screen, we have </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">a couple of major releases in theatres this summer that involve sharks. Another fifth film in a franchise, <i>Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales</i>, hit theatres in the last couple of weeks, and I have not been able to get to it yet... because <i>Wonder Woman</i>. That one has zombie/ghost/undead sharks of some form, and the trailer of their appearance is not all that enticing, but I still look forward to finally sitting down with the film, hopefully next week as my wife and I are planning things.<br /><br />Opening next week (or in two weekends, real time) is 47 Meters Down, a film that was once advertised as Into the Deep, but decided to go with the less ambiguous title and tell us exactly what the predicament for the film's characters is in the film instead. I will tell you, giant great white sharks or not, this film looks pretty dopey from start to finish. But let's watch the trailers first. The YouTube clip I have embedded reads as "Extended," but what it actually means is the YouTube site combined two different versions of the 47 Meters Down trailer back to back, so that you can see as much possible early footage as possible. So, when one trailer gets over, hang on for the second one...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hoo boy... OK, I have made plans to go see this in the theatre on the Friday that it opens, but I keep telling myself that maybe I will revisit that idea closer to the date. The film looks monumentally stupid, and that is even after one has to choke back the tears from realizing I would have to spend 100 minutes watching Mandy Moore attempt to act again. Another question plaguing me (FYI, I did look up the info afterward): Who the hell is Claire Holt and why does she have top billing over my girl Mandy?<br /><br />I do not have any diving experience whatsoever, but I know enough going into this thing that those girls would shatter their eardrums if a dive cage broke off and fell into the depths that quickly. Also, their panicked breathing and their constant chatter would deplete what little air remained in their tanks pretty quickly. Even knowing that much, I did have some fun the other day going on to various boards about scuba diving and hearing experienced divers discussing the silliness at large in these trailers. Their reasons went far beyond my layman's awareness, but it was more pleasing to read that much of the concern from divers over the film was in how the the image of the great white may indeed suffer in the public eye once again because of films like this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Look, I love <i>Jaws</i> as one of the prime examples of the suspense thriller, horror, and adventure film genres. It is in my Top 10 films of all time. But as has been proven time and again, most of the science involving sharks in <i>Jaws</i> (and even the plausibility of its action scenes, such as the exploding tank) is completely ridiculous. A film can get past a complete disregard for facts and science (much like our president does) and still be highly successful both with the public and with critics (unlike our president). <i>Jaws</i> even has its killer shark roar at a point or two (a trope which <i>47 Meters Down</i> seems to be enacting as well), and that is complete bullshit. Bruce the Shark was no lion from M-G-M. Sharks don't effin' roar.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What I am saying is that I hold out the possibility that this film could be entertaining on some or even multiple levels. I got past my small problems with <i>The Shallows</i> and how it handled its star shark by getting involved in its quite Hitchcockian premise and enjoying the lead performance by Blake Lively (someone whom I ridiculed previously on the level of her acting ability as I did with Mandy Moore above). I honestly believe that, seen strictly as a pulse-pounding thriller and adventure survival story, <i>The Shallows</i> was quite enjoyable.<br /><br />Will that be the case with <i>47 Meters Down</i>? Well, I can spend all the time I'd like making fun of it and poking holes in its flaws through the watching of a couple of trailers, but when the time comes and I sit down in that theatre, my mind goes blank and I have to either accept the film for what it is or I have to admit that I allowed my preconceptions to win the day. And I just <i>cannot</i> allow that to happen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I will see you on Judgment Day, <i>47 Meters Down</i>. Better bring an extra tank or three...</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">RTJ</span></i>Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-26179621267148072852017-05-19T11:27:00.000-07:002017-06-07T18:02:35.037-07:00Toothy Trailers: POTC 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is no doubt that the Walt Disney-produced </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pirates of the Caribbean</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> series should be fully reviewed here on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shark Film Office</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> when all is said and done. While none of the films are expressly about sharks, there are glimpses of sharks here and there throughout the series, and that in itself would at least get a couple of the titles in the mix. When you widen the search to the broader theme of this website – which can include all manner of ocean life, specifically those creatures generally considered menaces by the idiots who make up the huge portion of humanity that makes things troublesome, dangerous, and noxious for the rest of us – then most of the films in the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pirates</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> series would undoubtedly have to be counted. And if you expand it to the fantasy element that tends to flit at the edges of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shark Film Office</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> – the part that includes krakens of mythic proportions, half-man/half-shark buccaneers, octopus-headed captains, and murderous mermaids – then all five films end up in the mix.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GpAh1CxqT9Q/WTb5XbKRrnI/AAAAAAAANTQ/Pt5S37JR77IbJBNVDQlnmEv_rlgcaOcrwCLcB/s1600/pirates_sharks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="336" data-original-width="800" height="134" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GpAh1CxqT9Q/WTb5XbKRrnI/AAAAAAAANTQ/Pt5S37JR77IbJBNVDQlnmEv_rlgcaOcrwCLcB/s320/pirates_sharks.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With the fifth film in the series, <i>Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales</i>, I am not expecting very much. I was almost out the door after the third installment, which was progressively weirder than its predecessors but without really allowing the viewer to continue to believe in the original world with which we were presented in the still quite excellent first film. I felt that the fourth film, <i>On Stranger Tides</i>, was a step up from the third film. While I quite liked many of the effects and the inclusion of Ian McShane as Blackbeard, I still left the theatre knowing that the series really should have stopped at that point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And yet, there was that fifth film to which they had signed star Johnny Depp, who is just so eager to play Captain Jack Sparrow these days that the characters seems to have not filtered into his other acting jobs, but also his real life. My opinion on Depp once ran so high that I rated him as one of my favorite actors in the world, and sometimes had him (surprisingly to many of my friends) right at the top. This was 19-20 years ago. Times have changed, and while I feel that he can still turn in a fascinating performance when he is taken far away from the clutches of both Disney and Tim Burton – such as his role as Whitey Bulger in <i>Black Mass</i> a couple of years ago, a truly steely, unnerving characterization – I feel he gets too attracted to playing the broader, more flamboyant types like Jack Sparrow, the Mad Hatter, and Willy Wonka to make me believe that he has rather broken his compass at some point along the way, and has a harder and harder time finding the path back to his old self. It's not that I don't want him to play huge, iconic roles, but I would prefer that he balance out the family friendly with more of the "edgy" parts that he used to do more frequently.<br /><br />Look, we can debate Depp for eons, but we are here discussing the new <i>Pirates</i> movie on this particular site for one reason only: sharks. And that is what we get in the trailer for the fifth film. First, let's take a quick peak...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shark! Not just a shark, though, but a ZOMBIE SHARK! Or an undead shark, or a ghost shark, or whatever it will end up being according to the plot devices within the film. Obviously, I have not seen the film yet, but living in the household that I do, with at least two huge fans of the series straight through its run (unlike me), it is pretty unlikely that I will miss it. And I have the inclusion of a shark within the film that will give me a free pass at being whiny if I need to use it to see the film. (Not that I don't get to see pretty much any film that I wish anyway...)<br /><br />Do I care about anything else in the film from this trailer? Will it be any good? Does it really matter? Aren't we in for at three or four more of these things before Jerry Bruckheimer, Depp, and Disney are through? As long as they keep including sharks (undead or otherwise), and octopuses, squids, mermaids, etc., I will keep showing up to them. Was never really in it for the pirates anyway...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-33002805991559706912016-10-06T09:30:00.000-07:002017-06-06T06:20:17.053-07:0090210 Shark Attack (2014)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To understand what you are seeing in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">90210 Shark Attack</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, you have to go in with some basic knowledge of director/producer David DeCoteau.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the late '80s and early '90s, David DeCoteau's films could be counted on for two things: boobies. Lots of them. Specifically, the boobies of scream queens like Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Julie Strain, and Brinke Stevens (my personal fave of the bunch, and ex-wife and model of the late <i>Rocketeer</i> creator, Dave Stevens). I got to know his name well and count on him for quality in that department (and that department only, really). In films like <i>Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama</i>, <i>Creepozoids</i>, <i>Nightmare Sisters</i>, and <i>Dr. Alien</i>, DeCoteau kept scream queen fans happy while also providing Joe Bob Briggs with plenty of material on his <i>Drive-In Theatre</i> show. DeCoteau also released films under the name "Ellen Cabot" as well, such as <i>Beach Babes from Beyond</i>, and its sequel, <i>Cave Girl Island</i> (which each featured Roxanne Blaze aka Sara Bellomo, a former porn actress turned scream queen). </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He even found time to direct <i>Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge</i> in that period.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tmhz3bEOSPI/V_aAIQb6jiI/AAAAAAAAMAc/6FNtf6fQawQEUcZ-ag8tOokxizlL0BmQwCLcB/s1600/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_01_title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tmhz3bEOSPI/V_aAIQb6jiI/AAAAAAAAMAc/6FNtf6fQawQEUcZ-ag8tOokxizlL0BmQwCLcB/s320/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_01_title.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">DeCoteau started out as a teenager working for Roger Corman, got into editing, writing and producing, had a brief spin directing hardcore XXX features in the mid '80s (both gay and straight), and started his run of over 100 direct-to-video (and now on-demand) features with <i>Dreamaniac</i> in 1986. In 1997, he had a more public coming out with a personal film titled <i>Leather Jacket Love Story</i>, that played the festival circuit, his only film to do so. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Since then, DeCoteau's films became more aggressive in their gay content, and where it used to be standard for his scream queens to take off their bikinis and get in a hot tub, he now uses those scenes to have hot young studs slowly strip off their shirts and step into softcore soapy shower scenes.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don't think he came to eat dinner...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He still makes film after film, and most are made in three days to a week's time. He started a successful gay horror series (for its target market) called <i>1313</i>, and he now balances his productions between mostly horror films and occasional children's movies such as </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">A Talking Cat!?!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">An Easter Bunny Puppy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. That DeCoteau is an industry unto himself is evidenced by the fact that he has already released six films in 2016 with two more completed and ready for release.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Marcie and Bryce... the Howells <br />of this Gilligan's Island.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Which brings me to <i>90210 Shark Attack</i>. Naturally, the name conjures up an immediate connection to the old show from the '90s, <i>Beverly Hills 90210</i>. Assuming before watching it that this film is supposed to be a spoof of the show, and knowing that Beverly Hills is rather landlocked, I had guessed the characters would either have to make an outing to a local beach area to have a shark attack them or there would have to be some otherworldly or supernatural means to convey the sharks to Beverly Hills. Well, apart from its name, its habit of using stock footage shots of the Beverly Hills area and its famous street signs, and the fact that its characters are supposed to be high school students (I guess?) on a field trip, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">90210 Shark Attack </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">is not really a spoof of the show. None of the characters are named even close to the show's characters, nor are personalities of the characters replicated or even attempted. It takes place in Beverly Hills, nothing more. But I was right in guessing that something supernatural brings the shark into the area: a cursed shark-tooth necklace worn by the main character.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alyssa has a secret, but it's probably not <br />about who did her highlights...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The film starts out with the stock footage that I mentioned, accompanied by bland </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'90s-style synth music and "wacky" animation of a guy, a shark wearing sunglasses, and a turtle riding on top of a wave on surfboards. The guy screams and goes under the wave as the shark practically drools over the sight of the guy (or at least a badly animated approximation of it; for all this, the shark could be a stand-in for the director filming a young stud in a soapy shower scene). We see a shot of the Beverly Hills Hotel and a sign for Beverly Hills and then a shark rushes right at the camera underwater.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kKiqIWDM7iQ/V_aAIot-NTI/AAAAAAAAMAs/uy1asFXBxH8fAa6y5n94qT5XLqtrF6XxQCLcB/s1600/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_05_not_great_white.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kKiqIWDM7iQ/V_aAIot-NTI/AAAAAAAAMAs/uy1asFXBxH8fAa6y5n94qT5XLqtrF6XxQCLcB/s320/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_05_not_great_white.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is not a great white shark...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Following a generic shot of a beach, we hear a narrator talk about the beauty and power of the great white shark and how she didn't realize just how powerful it was until today. The problem is the first shot of a shark that we see is not a great white shark. The next shot actually is a great white, but grunting and growling noises have been added as it snacks on some bait (sharks don't make noise), the third shot is a computerized graphic of a white, and the fourth is full-on computer animation of two great whites. It's quite a mix, but it shows that DeCoteau really didn't care what shark footage he used as long as he had any footage of sharks at all. We are then shown a black-and-white scene, seemingly a flashback (which always looks odd with video because all they did was desaturate it of color) of the lead character, Alyssa, being told that she should talk to someone about what happened, and then we see a beheaded man lying on the ground (actually a guy in swim trunks lying face down with his head over the side of the pool to save money on a more expensive effect).</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Hw53k9_9hQ4/V_aAI8y7O_I/AAAAAAAAMA0/YxmmEQvXYPMm45QVeS7-IWbqGzC0rcTDQCLcB/s1600/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_06_double_800high.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Hw53k9_9hQ4/V_aAI8y7O_I/AAAAAAAAMA0/YxmmEQvXYPMm45QVeS7-IWbqGzC0rcTDQCLcB/s320/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_06_double_800high.jpg" width="277" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just so you know what has her <br />(and the director's) interest...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The film then shows us a graphic that says "24 Hours Earlier" after which we are introduced to a series of "high schoolers," who all look far too old to be such (not anything new with that in Hollywood), as they gradually enter a quite </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">palatial BH estate that has been rented for the class to stay in during their "field trip". In no time at all, one spoiled rich kid couple, Bryce (whose dad owns the house) and Marcie, end up getting it on upstairs, but DeCoteau, as a director, is not really interested in their idiotic lovemaking session. He is more interested in another guy downstairs, Tyler, who strips down to his shorts by the pool while standard softcore movie seduction music plays (it would be interesting to find out how often DeCoteau has used the same piece of music over the years, but I really don't want to watch the films to find out). Tyler is unknowingly watched from inside by one of the other girls, Jess, who kind of gets a weird look on her face, you know, the kind you get in a movie where you turn from the normal, possibly good girl early on in a film to leering voyeur in the turn of fourteen seconds. The camera then practically fondles Tyler for several minutes while he takes a slow, rather boring swim.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HJXK7nQR-10/V_aAJCopqDI/AAAAAAAAMBE/CA2afdOhjlYgWUH8EYdVPndYPRXkFjjCwCLcB/s1600/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_09_Wilkes_now.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HJXK7nQR-10/V_aAJCopqDI/AAAAAAAAMBE/CA2afdOhjlYgWUH8EYdVPndYPRXkFjjCwCLcB/s320/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_09_Wilkes_now.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Scream queen Donna Wilkes now...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Soon enough, we meet the "kids'" teacher, Miss Pamela, who is played by Donna Wilkes, a rather important cog in the film. In the DeCoteau style that still stands to this day, hiring a scream queen – even a former scream queen – means getting more people to check the movie out in the video store (once upon a time) and now on demand. Wilkes has definite scream queen credentials, serving as the teen female lead in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws 2</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (she was described in that film as having "tits like a sparrow" but damn, we thought she was cute back in the day), creepy Klaus Kinski's daughter in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Schizoid</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (1980), and the lead in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Angel</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (1984), where she played a teenage prostitute being stalked by a serial killer. (The cult classic sparked a series, but she was not in the sequels, her character taken over first by the even cuter Betsy (</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Tomboy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">) Russell, then Mitzi Kapture, and finally saw Angel going blonde in the form of Darlene Vogel.) Wilkes was also in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Hello, Larry</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, a spinoff of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Diff'rent Strokes</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, where she played MacLean Stevenson's teenage daughter, and if those aren't scary credentials, then nothing is. Hell, I was so into her back as a teenager that I remember her being in episodes of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Incredible Hulk</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Gimme a Break</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Wilkes stopped acting around 1991, until DeCoteau brought her back for a couple of his films including this one, and I can't imagine the pay was all that great judging from the budget of the film.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vK56RZZOjR0/V_aAJd9yJnI/AAAAAAAAMBQ/fok4V1T2MoMPNt9FkhjrdWsmzNPdUJCUgCLcB/s1600/Wilkes_Angel_1984.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vK56RZZOjR0/V_aAJd9yJnI/AAAAAAAAMBQ/fok4V1T2MoMPNt9FkhjrdWsmzNPdUJCUgCLcB/s320/Wilkes_Angel_1984.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">...and Wilkes in her heyday as <br />Angel in 1984.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Surprisingly, Wilkes is not bad in the film, or else I am just really grasping for something – anything! – even casually worthwhile in what is a pretty threadbare production. She at least does the best she can with the role, and there is a marked difference between her acting style (rather more professional) than that of her "born on third base" co-stars. (I'm just saying that she paid her dues...) While Wilkes may no longer be the thin, young thing she used to be, DeCoteau not only wrote his only name actress a villainous role but also gave her character an ongoing affair with the handsome twink from the pool scene, which I am sure Wilkes must have enjoyed greatly. Since it is alleged that a fair-sized section of DeCoteau's audience is also comprised of women who enjoy the well-shot scenes of scantily clad, buff men (the scenes are never raunchy or even close to pornographic, just racy and teasing; he knows his various crowds), I can imagine there is some Harlequin Romance wish fulfillment at play here for that set as well. (More on this creepy teacher-student junk after a couple more paragraphs; I can only handle so much at a time.)</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X6NJhnC-984/V_aAJAM3OII/AAAAAAAAMBA/3YZJAYIBEW4SvbMyXjVJGcd3l09u4Tz-gCLcB/s1600/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_08_group.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X6NJhnC-984/V_aAJAM3OII/AAAAAAAAMBA/3YZJAYIBEW4SvbMyXjVJGcd3l09u4Tz-gCLcB/s320/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_08_group.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tyler could never get "Blue Steel" quite right...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The main character, Alyssa, is a troubled girl that is much put upon by the rest of the kids, and is seen as a nerd and an outcast in the mold of Carrie White (as in, you know, Stephen King's </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Carrie</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">). The problem with this angle is that Alyssa is every bit as attractive as the other girls in the film, and frankly, from my viewpoint, more so. But they call her stupid, and make fun of her for being quiet and withdrawn, all because her dad was a famous oceanographer who died under mysterious circumstances amongst a tribe of Indians who worshipped the great white shark. Since she was there when he died, and also wears a shark tooth necklace in memory of her father, which she fingers constantly throughout the film, it is not hard to figure out where this is going.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is a funny bit where Miss Pamela is running through the course for the class, and Marcie asks that since her parents live in La Jolla, can she just interview them for her term paper. Miss Hanson says she "needs to choose a slightly older indigenous culture," but Marcie counters that her folks "have been members of the yacht club for, like, twenty years." It would be nice if more of the film were clever, even in little bits, but so much of the film is simply watching DeCoteau spinning his wheels while he builds to his meager effects scenes in what is actually a quite short film (only 75 minutes, and the credits kick in at the 68 minute mark).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a result, <i>90210 Shark Attack</i> does play like any standard softcore "Skinemax" flick for most of its running time. For example, in one scene, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tyler sneaks around at night and calls out the teacher's name. She doesn't answer and so he goes into her room and explores. Because it is exactly this type of film (and mind you, we don't know about their quite illegal "relationship" as of yet), he turns on the shower and takes off his clothes, the seductive music starts again, and there are several closeups of his lower torso just above "that region". It is twink paradise. We get a shot of the ocean. Alyssa plays absentmindedly with her necklace on her bed, while Pamela checks on her from the door. Pamela then goes to her own room and sees her door is open. Curious, she hears the shower running and walks in to see Tyler taking a shower. Just as we are expecting her to be shocked, she smiles and watches him slowly massage his chest and shoulders. The camera lingers on his lower torso again and she licks her lips slightly. She is a dirty old lady. He stops the shower, turns and sees her, smiles and asks, "So teach, like what you see?" "I do, but you'll have to do some extra credit." He says she should be paying him by now, and she replies angrily that he'll get his when she gets hers, and that's always been their agreement. She storms off and he says he was only kidding. It turns out that Pamela is planning a book about Alyssa's father and that the caring teacher thing is only a ruse to get closer to the girl. She wants a bestseller and a movie based on the bestseller out of it, and Tyler wants to play himself in the movie. Just as they are about to kiss, there is a crashing noise. They both think it is Bryce, and Tyler says, "If you don't kill Bryce, I will." (Please, someone kill someone... we are 38 minutes into the film, and no one has been killed yet, by a shark or anyone else.)</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I_uU0CxAcPk/V_aAJWOrlJI/AAAAAAAAMBM/apbvDLgRgOojtv2nteewN3crn8GJ0668ACLcB/s1600/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_11_transform1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I_uU0CxAcPk/V_aAJWOrlJI/AAAAAAAAMBM/apbvDLgRgOojtv2nteewN3crn8GJ0668ACLcB/s320/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_11_transform1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's time to meet the Muppets...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And what about those sharks? I mean, apart from quite frequent interruptions by even more stock footage sharks, most of them <i>not</i> great whites, interspersed with more generic beach shots and Beverly Hills stock footage of signs and buildings. Well, for </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">actual shark scenes that are involved in the plot of the film we get seemingly sweet but put-upon Alyssa and her magical shark tooth necklace. It is going to come as no surprise to anyone who watches even two minutes of this film that the necklace is going to play a part and that Alyssa is secretly evil. It just takes the film 46 minutes to show us the first non-flashback sample of what she can do. Because of how her father treated the Indians he discovered on his travels, a curse placed on his daughter via the necklace </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">allows the top half of her body to change briefly into a small great white shark. In moments of passion or anger, she starts to glow, and then transform, and bite the heads off of her victims. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">...on The Muppet Show tonight!</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The effect is really silly and destroys any horror that is meant to be conveyed by the scenes. The shark looks more like a hand-puppet than anything else and</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> we only see the creature for about a second or two at any given time, and never see anything more than the quite sudden transformation. (There are no actual shots of the Alyssa Shark attempting to clumsily chomp onto someone's head or grab their arm. If there had, though, I may have rated this film higher, because how hilarious would that have been?) Any violence is off-camera and nothing is seen until a body is found later (though only in a couple of cases). So, technically, you never actually even see a "shark attack" within the film.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not that DeCoteau really cares. He gets his slow swimming scene, he gets his soapy shower scene, he gets his scream queen appearance to wrangle a few more of the curious to his film, and he gets to put it out with a poster that in no way shows anything that even approximates what happens inside the film. The poster shows the three "teen" female leads in their bikinis (which we never fully get) standing in the ocean surrounded by sharks (the girls standing in the ocean never happens nor do we ever shark fins surrounding anyone at any time). As I just mentioned, there is also no real shark attack seen in the movie. If one could sue DeCoteau for false advertising, one might have a slim case. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hell, the class is never even seen out on their ocean field trip, or even near the goddamned ocean, in the film; they could have spent less than $500 for the lot of them on a dolphin cruise in an afternoon and used the footage to convince us they went as a class. Instead, we just get more stock footage – shot after dull shot – of sharks that are mostly not great whites.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oa_DXqJ6s54/V_aAJM2rxbI/AAAAAAAAMA8/m9o4pPV3fb4Bg_zGNUGBY7rd_i_Dhv8DACLcB/s1600/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_07_double_800high.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oa_DXqJ6s54/V_aAJM2rxbI/AAAAAAAAMA8/m9o4pPV3fb4Bg_zGNUGBY7rd_i_Dhv8DACLcB/s320/90210_Shark_Attack_2014_07_double_800high.jpg" width="277" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The "beheading" pool scene, first in color,<br /> and then in fake "black and white"...</span></i></td></tr>
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">90210 Shark Attack</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> seems to be caught in a strange place for me. Given DeCoteau's background, and the setting and characters in the film, if he had just made a flat-out pornographic film with the same plot, I would probably rank this higher. Why? Honesty. If that sounds odd to you, imagine you just watched a film called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">90210 Shark Attack</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, that never really acts or gets near being a real spoof of the TV show it is clearly playing (and trying to make a dime) off, that never gives us a visible shark attack within its frames despite its title, and that talks about the power of the great white shark but does it (without tongue in cheek) over stock shots of sand tigers and other sharks. And when DeCoteau does show great whites, half the time they are CGI sharks (as is the monster in the film). I feel that, as a viewer of the film, I have been ripped off in watching it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If he had made a hardcore film with the same plot, the film may be equally as shitty, but I may not feel quite as ripped off overall. DeCoteau already has a solid porno set-up (groups of young adults pretending to be teens breaking off into various sexual pairings into a gorgeous house that was rented for the occasion, pool scenes, shower scenes, and a teacher-student affair), it would have been far more honest. I know its common to look down one's nose at an X-rated scene and say (in a pinched voice effect) "That's not what sex is like in real life" and in many instances, yes, depending on the scene, number of participants, orifices included, and when and how it finishes, you might be right. For most people, that's not what sex is like. But the "act" of sex onscreen </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">is</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> a real act. However false the emotions involved on the part of the players (if they are even necessary to the scene in question), we see it being committed to onscreen, and for the viewer, it gives you something solid (pun </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">absolutely</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> intended) in return for your time spent watching it and possible investment in its viewing. </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">90210 Shark Attack</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> could even remain the same film the rest of the way through, with the addition of hardcore sequences – DeCoteau could keep the same stupid stock footage, blah, blah, blah – and it would immediately </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">seem</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> like a more honest effort than the tripe with light softcore moves he put out in real life.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Beware anyone with a shark tooth necklace... Hey! <br />Wait a minute... I have one of those!</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I would be tempted to rate this film even lower, but there is a small hitch. There is a certain competency to what looks like a piss poor end product. You can look at DeCocteau's low-budget films and think they are just crap across the board, but for all their faults, these films are still proficiently manufactured crap from an assembly line that knows exactly what it wants to put out and for whom they are making it. The actors may not be great, but there are far worse actors out there, the video camerawork is professional porno studio competent, the settings are well-chosen for a sort of aesthetically bland beauty, and the cast is mostly rather attractive. You could do a lot worse in a visual sense. Sure, it falls apart in every other category that I have already discussed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But what we have really learned here are two things: 1) DeCoteau needs a far deeper stock footage library or at least an account with a good online resource, and 2) the next time he decides to do a stupid shark film, he needs to hire someone who can do some basic research into sharks. I believe that I may be available...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">90210 Shark Attack</b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (2014)</i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: David DeCoteau</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 2/9</i></span><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Species: great whites (in stock footage and computer-generated images), a cartoon shark on a surfboard in the opening, and a bunch of other sharks in obvious aquarium shots that are supposed to be in the ocean and other stock footage shots that are sometimes supposed to be great whites because the filmmakers either don't know the difference or don't care. And then a girl with a magical necklace whose top half transforms into a miniature great white shark... don't ask.</i>Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-17696019394577884132016-10-01T09:07:00.000-07:002017-06-06T07:02:24.004-07:00The Munsters in "Marineland Carnival" Promo (1965)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Of the many things that I wish existed somewhere on the internet, one definite would be the full hour long "Marineland Carnival" special that CBS ran on Easter Sunday in April of 1965. I would not normally get wound up to see what must have amounted to nothing more than an extended primetime advertisement for a theme park, but dammit... this one featured the Munsters! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Herman, Lily, Grandpa, little Eddie, and Marilyn Munster – the entire family – running amok at Marineland of the Pacific in Palos Verdes, California. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CBS, which was also home to their own sitcom show, got a little cross-promotion in by having their first family of horror visit the park. Fortunately, while we don't get to see the whole special (which is probably pretty creaky and stilted anyway, I would guess), there is a minute-long promo for the special that still exists and can be found floating about on Youtube in various places. Here's a look...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, the purpose of discussing the Munsters/Marineland promo here on The Shark Film Office can only mean that sharks are involved somehow, right? Well, almost... It is mentioned that Herman, Lily and Grandpa want to find a pet that is lovable "like a shark, a barracuda, or an octopus". We do get to see the octopus, which looks like it is tangled up with a diver in the tank, but as for the shark? Not quite. On the word "shark," we are shown a sawfish. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Many people believe sawfish to be sharks (in reviewing old cartoons for shark scenes, sawfish are sometimes brought in to be the "shark element"), but in fact, sawfish are actually members of the ray family. They have bodies that are shaped somewhat like a shark's is, and like all other rays, sawfish are also cartilaginous, as are sharks. These similarities probably lead a lot of people to assume sawfish are sharks, as well as an existing alternate name for them out there: carpenter sharks, owing to the fantasized usage of their denticle-laden rostrums. (They may not build houses with them, but they can use them to dig out prey.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I am definitely more of an Addams Family guy in both temperament, darker humor, and artistic sensibility, I have also held a love for the Munsters as well, having grown up seeing reruns of both shows (which, believe it or not, in their original runs aired concurrently, albeit on different networks) in roughly equal measure. I also have an unreserved love for the 1966 feature film, <i>Munster, Go Home!</i>, in which Herman ends up racing Grandpa's wonderfully named (especially as far as Rob Zombie is concerned) Drag-u-la race car while vacationing in merry olde England.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As for the promo, while the shark reference is a tad off, the commercial is charming and it is great fun to see the actors cavorting about as their characters in public. And, of course, a shark would be a perfect pet for the Munsters to want to bring home. I hope that someday a copy of the actual full special of <i>Marineland Carnival</i> is found, because who knows? Maybe we might actually get to some real sharks in it?</span>Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-18139889136269557912016-09-26T15:30:00.000-07:002017-06-07T18:10:42.854-07:00Rabbitson Crusoe (1956)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: red;">[For the month of September 2016, I am writing a series of shared posts in conjunction with my animation website, </span><b><a href="https://cinema4celbloc.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Cinema 4: Cel Bloc</span></a></b><span style="color: red;">, about cartoons that feature sharks in them. You can read the reviews on either site, but please do visit the other one if you like the content I have to offer.]</span></i></span><br />
<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></b><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TRPDyEQavtQ/V-miLaxJ2-I/AAAAAAAALoU/UbFSXpQquW0B_U6pyUqJpUtfVkofo9KjQCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_02_title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TRPDyEQavtQ/V-miLaxJ2-I/AAAAAAAALoU/UbFSXpQquW0B_U6pyUqJpUtfVkofo9KjQCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_02_title.jpg" width="320" /></a><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Rabbitson Crusoe</b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (1956)</i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: Friz Freleng</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 7/9</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Species: a purple shark named Dopey Dick, who is a little bit dopey and kind of a dick.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Believe it or not, I still own my very first edition of Daniel Defoe's classic novel, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Please don't read that incorrectly. I do </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">not</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> own the first edition of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Considering that the novel is just a hair under three hundred years old – having been first published in 1719, and thought by many scholars to be the first true novel in the English language – that would now make me a multi-thousand-aire, at least (and I am definitely not that at the moment).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Cb_KBe9uVmA/V-miLf-FZzI/AAAAAAAALoM/xgusTuDaxhwQ5pmvLJePi1NCPySJF25EQCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_05_diary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Cb_KBe9uVmA/V-miLf-FZzI/AAAAAAAALoM/xgusTuDaxhwQ5pmvLJePi1NCPySJF25EQCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_05_diary.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No, the first edition of <i>Robinson Crusoe</i> that I ever owned was – and is – a Junior Literary Guild Book Club edition from the early 1970s, itself a reprinting of a 1945 edition of the book, illustrated in a still appealing way by Fritz Kredel. I read and reread this volume multiple times as a child, and it definitely would have to count as one of my early literary influences. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To this day, sitting on my library shelves, I still have a few other books from my time in that book club (the first of many) as a kid: </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Daniel Boone - Wilderness Scout</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> by Stewart Edward White, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">101 Dalmatians</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> by Dodie Smith, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Paul Bunyan and His Great Blue Ox</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> by Wallace Wordsworth (which has been missing its cover so long that I can no longer summon an image of it in my mind), and </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rascal</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> by Sterling North (also sans cover, but I remember what that one looked like). Some have made it through the years better than others, but only one of those Book Club volumes has gotten a full rereading since I became an adult (and has, thus, remained in the best shape due to my attention to it), even though I owned both a paperback edition and a more recent, handsomely bound edition. That book is </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uuuBrpuCtmE/V-miLbO3qyI/AAAAAAAALoQ/MNFVjALE0Uod0tSkjwm3DPvENJ64WpJHgCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_06_layout1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uuuBrpuCtmE/V-miLbO3qyI/AAAAAAAALoQ/MNFVjALE0Uod0tSkjwm3DPvENJ64WpJHgCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_06_layout1.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Though my politics and viewpoint towards the book (and mankind in general) have changed greatly since my early, youthful exposure to the story, I still find </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> a rousing adventure novel, not least of which is its location and setting, that of a man stranded on what we would term a "deserted" or "desert" island, though it is anything but a desert nor does it turn out to be deserted. The notion of a tiny little island with just sand and a palm tree is really the province of cartoonists, filmmakers, and sketch comedians, though when we hear the name "Robinson Crusoe," you would not be charged with wrongheadedness were you to summon up such a simple image at first. Of course, you would tend to add a slave in the form of a "Man Friday" to do Crusoe's bidding, but otherwise, the brevity of your casual daydream would be forgiven.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dFEXdstEijg/V-miLlJe4cI/AAAAAAAALoY/Jeiy-xIIiNcZXsvnGpBCv0qbq5xan9eNgCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_07_layout2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dFEXdstEijg/V-miLlJe4cI/AAAAAAAALoY/Jeiy-xIIiNcZXsvnGpBCv0qbq5xan9eNgCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_07_layout2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The book, of course, is far more robust and detailed, and the island is equally lush and laden with the resources necessary for decades of survival, as long as Crusoe and his eventual co-habitant are willing to work for them. The book was so popular it created its own sub-genre – the Robinsonade – and all further stories of humans lost at sea and abandoned to the islands of the world's oceans have Defoe's book (and its two quickly written sequels, neither of which have I ever read) as its wellspring. Do you think the novel, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Swiss Family Robinson</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, written almost a full century later, is named that for little reason? (The name is meant to be evocative of Defoe's book. It is not the name of the family in the original German printing, that's for sure. The family is well aware of the novel </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and mention it and its title character several times within their own adventures.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IqdX1SUk0nI/V-miLvvjaKI/AAAAAAAALoc/N7Ed7_KE72Mw-wvv_TQnEvTGURU-WVxFQCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_08_layout3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IqdX1SUk0nI/V-miLvvjaKI/AAAAAAAALoc/N7Ed7_KE72Mw-wvv_TQnEvTGURU-WVxFQCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_08_layout3.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Getting back to that original novel, Defoe really started something in the imaginations of men, women, and children all over the world. And despite what happens to the characters being stranded for so long from civilization on their own island before Crusoe is eventually rescued, the book itself evokes a romantic feeling for the notion of being lost and stranded at sea, however actually tragic such an occurrence often is for the victim. That's why when musing about getting away from the rat race of modernity, we discuss "desert island" lists, books, albums, and romantic partners. The notion of being trapped on a small circle of jungle-cropped land to choose between Ginger and Mary Ann is endlessly appealing to most men. (The answer, for me, is "both," though Mary Ann is the clear choice when all is said and done. Way cuter, smarter, and ultimately hotter than the overly made up and high maintenance</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> movie star.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9WQnnDUKhYQ/V-miLtbvbJI/AAAAAAAALog/uFbsbEWvO6YjZFO7kkZcO7dOc71KqoCnwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_10_dorsal2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9WQnnDUKhYQ/V-miLtbvbJI/AAAAAAAALog/uFbsbEWvO6YjZFO7kkZcO7dOc71KqoCnwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_10_dorsal2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, I still recall the novel quite fondly myself, and know that at some point in the near future I may settle into a couch somewhere and give it another good read. I have yet to find a feature film version of the story that I have considered completely satisfying, though I am certain filmmakers will continue trying. (And please do...) Many of the details of the book are thoroughly burned into my subconscious by this point, that it sometimes feels that I have actually absorbed the book into my bones as well. And yet, when presented with a small story detail, such as the presence of sharks within the framework of the novel, I had to think about it briefly. "Are there sharks in </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">?" I wondered. My mind told me, "Well, yes, there certainly must be," but I couldn't recall for sure. Inside, a mild panic started to bounce around my brain. "Good god, man! For the sake of The Shark Film Office, you need to figure this out!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BfoGmpBK4RU/V-miL7SMBKI/AAAAAAAALok/z1Bxz3Z3CW4AlHlpkbmW1hmqxo9Mp3ziACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_12_dopey_dick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BfoGmpBK4RU/V-miL7SMBKI/AAAAAAAALok/z1Bxz3Z3CW4AlHlpkbmW1hmqxo9Mp3ziACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_12_dopey_dick.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This issue gets confused even further for me when other adaptations – and even parodies and spoofs – of <i>Robinson Crusoe</i> are released which do include sharks in the details. The book that I thought I knew so well starts to get muddled even further. And sometimes, these additions are so clearly out of bounds that they become ridiculous. This is fine when a comedic adaptation is meant, but sometimes creative license in straight dramatic versions can go just a little bit too far. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But here is what I do know: N</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">owhere, in that original book, do I recall that its main character had to fend off the murderous advances of a man-eating shark named Dopey Dick.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RDnTA528lg8/V-miL_WYWEI/AAAAAAAALoo/3bVIqHN4V5Q6BzZeNB-EDD428kDRu6cagCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_16_attack2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RDnTA528lg8/V-miL_WYWEI/AAAAAAAALoo/3bVIqHN4V5Q6BzZeNB-EDD428kDRu6cagCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_16_attack2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To find Dopey Dick, you have to go to the cartoons. You have to track down the Warner Bros. short titled </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rabbitson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, directed by Friz Freleng, which was released as part of its Looney Tunes series in 1956. Lovers of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in the 1960s and 1970s will remember seeing this cartoon a zillion times, and frankly, this particular short was not of my favorites at the time. This owed nothing to the general excellence of the short's construction but more to the very company it was keeping. It is hard to be thought of in such grand terms when </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What's Opera, Doc?</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">,</span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> The Rabbit of Seville</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">,</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A Froggy Evening</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> are living right next door. But </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rabbitson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has grown on me over the years, and within the reasons for such a thing to occur, the most important is its portrayal of the sneaky, ravenously hungry shark, Dopey Dick.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GgKi-rUl8po/V-miL6jN2hI/AAAAAAAALos/sUQrQwC7FAA2o1P9_9RUHzY_abUxhdkDgCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_17_tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GgKi-rUl8po/V-miL6jN2hI/AAAAAAAALos/sUQrQwC7FAA2o1P9_9RUHzY_abUxhdkDgCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_17_tree.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The title of the film appears over a cartographer's rendition of an island on any ol' map. An orchestral version of the pop standard </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trade Winds</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> by Cliff Friend and Charles Tobias plays over the credits (and this is not by accident, as it will come into play later in the film). Mel Blanc's familiar voice as Yosemite Sam fills the soundtrack after the end of the credits as the story opens with Robinson Crusoe's narration of his diary. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"A low tide and high rock caused my predicament. The ship's supplies used up, my only food supply was a lonely coconut tree."</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-s7yed0m8E-s/V-miMB_z80I/AAAAAAAALow/67rD2CJEybcCIkbDJlt-NKqln8tTq7xpACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_18_hammer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-s7yed0m8E-s/V-miMB_z80I/AAAAAAAALow/67rD2CJEybcCIkbDJlt-NKqln8tTq7xpACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_18_hammer.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Trade Winds</i> continues to play in the background as the camera pans from a shipwreck sitting high in the water, over to a series of rocks leading to a small island whose only feature is a hut on stilts with a ladder, and then another series of rocks, and finally another small island upon which stands the lonely coconut tree mentioned in the narration. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam continues to spin his yarn as the camera zooms in on the island with the tree, saying </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Gathering coconuts was a problem because of a dangerous, man-eating shark named Dopey Dick."</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (See? I got it from somewhere...)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D5A1j7JDy7k/V-miMO5TwyI/AAAAAAAALo0/hlhDotvdnK8AMkjnVXyrEsaHk9NaD3QLwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_20_scared2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D5A1j7JDy7k/V-miMO5TwyI/AAAAAAAALo0/hlhDotvdnK8AMkjnVXyrEsaHk9NaD3QLwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_20_scared2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Amongst the rocks, we see a shark's large black dorsal fin swim into view, ominously swirling about in a circular motion. Sam as Robinson Crusoe, on the island with the hut, walks to the edge of the water and looks around the rocks to gauge any potential places where the shark might be lying in wait for him. A closeup on the rocks reveals Dopey Dick to have his head up out of the water as he peers around one large rock to eye his intended prey. Sam does not see the giant fish, and so starts to hop in a rather cute way across the first few rocks, almost like a small child attempting a playground skipping game. Suddenly, he spins his head around behind him to see the shark advancing on him, snapping its jaws as it chases him across the remaining rocks to the other island!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1h5HQvVdnJQ/V-miMPDWA3I/AAAAAAAALo4/CSF7IjbDWf4PVNaBkdY0Taejdaxl5O1MwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_21_fist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1h5HQvVdnJQ/V-miMPDWA3I/AAAAAAAALo4/CSF7IjbDWf4PVNaBkdY0Taejdaxl5O1MwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_21_fist.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once there, the shark follows Sam straight up the low-bending trunk of the coconut tree, almost like a toothy guard dog. Far up the tree, Sam reaches to a hook on the trunk from which a large mallet hangs suspended. He starts to beat Dopey Dick hard on the head over and over again, yelling, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Back! Back! Back! Down, ya shark-livered varmint!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (Well, he is a shark, so it stands to reason he may be "shark-livered," unless he had some form of transplant.) Dopey Dick yelps sharply like a beaten dog and beats a hasty retreat to the safety of the ocean. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Danged ol' fin-flappin' flounder,"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> mutters Sam as he hangs the mallet back onto its hook.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8tPKjdcaCXY/V-miMWxXuCI/AAAAAAAALo8/Q5JEx0yRPFsiff0M9c8VuodCsY6oNQ1cACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_26_clear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8tPKjdcaCXY/V-miMWxXuCI/AAAAAAAALo8/Q5JEx0yRPFsiff0M9c8VuodCsY6oNQ1cACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_26_clear.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam pulls down a coconut and walks back to the rocks. He looks about for safety's sake, and seeing nothing, gingerly tiptoes onto the rocks. Almost immediately, there is a splash and Dopey Dick is giving him chase again, snapping his huge jaws over and over at Sam's heels. Sam reaches the shore of the other island, where he has a rack filled with numerous baseball bats, sitting there for the sole purpose (presumably) of smacking Dopey Dick on the head. Sam grabs some pine and charges back at the shark, who sees Sam coming and beats it once more for the ocean. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Twenty years tryin' and ya missed me again!" Ya shovel-nosed mackerel!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> yells Sam, raising his fist at the water and then swinging his bat. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"No good bushwhackin' barracuda!"</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-K7IJETYjCbs/V-miMpy4ymI/AAAAAAAALpI/6TkhjZ1pCzkBGtqsEXpPc5Bkm-qGGn2UwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_28_bugs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-K7IJETYjCbs/V-miMpy4ymI/AAAAAAAALpI/6TkhjZ1pCzkBGtqsEXpPc5Bkm-qGGn2UwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_28_bugs.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A short while later, we are shown a cookbook that reads </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1000 Ways to Prepare Coconuts</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and we then see Sam sitting down to a meal entirely comprised of them. At first, he seems happy with this spread: </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Mmm... tossed coconut salad. Fresh coconut milk. New England boiled coconut."</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> After he sniffs his main course and replaces the lid on the serving tray, he has a change of mind though. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Ooh... I HATES COCONUTS! Twenty years of coconuts! I can't stand coconuts!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> He brushes the entire meal, dishes and all, away with an angry swipe of his stubby little forearm and then starts to beat his head hard against the bamboo support of his hut. All of a sudden though, he hears another voice in the near distance singing the song </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trade Winds</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. It is the wonderful voice of Bugs Bunny, also provided by the talented Mel Blanc...</span><br />
<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSp2mU18e_s/V-miMnrNbdI/AAAAAAAALpA/Hh8zvKD96MkjbDfoTwkl90VdzVVYGxcFwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_29_wave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSp2mU18e_s/V-miMnrNbdI/AAAAAAAALpA/Hh8zvKD96MkjbDfoTwkl90VdzVVYGxcFwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_29_wave.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Down where the trade winds play</span></i><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Down where you lose the day</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>We found a new world where paradise starts..."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When Sam looks to the ocean, he sees (as we do too) a small box floating on the waves, in which Bugs Bunny is draped casually as he chews carrots one by one, leaving the carrot tops to float lazily in the water in his wake. Sam recognizes a stewing rabbit, of course, but calls out to the rabbit all friendly-like, summoning him to shore. Bugs is overjoyed at this, believing he is "saved at last" and starts to paddle in that direction. Soon, he is riding the box at the top of a large wave that threatens to crash down hard on Sam, but all that happens is that Bugs drops out of the box into Sam's waiting arms.</span><br />
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span></i><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ULl9BsQfWi0/V-miMkogVnI/AAAAAAAALpE/m1VyJSZyh3U1f0ci864Cugi6QCD4Xe9xgCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_32_mad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ULl9BsQfWi0/V-miMkogVnI/AAAAAAAALpE/m1VyJSZyh3U1f0ci864Cugi6QCD4Xe9xgCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_32_mad.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Oh, boy! Dry land!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> exclaims Bugs. </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"It sure feels good to be dry again!"</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> But no sooner does he say this than Sam drops the critter into a large kettle sitting atop a bed of firewood. As Sam lights the fire, Bugs asks, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"What's the big idea? What's up, doc?"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Sam announces his intention to make rabbit stew out of Bugs and asks, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Get the idea?"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and then laughs wickedly. Bugs response is to say he does get the idea and then starts to mock Sam's laugh, losing steam halfway through at the possibility of his own demise. Bugs asks how long until dinner is ready, and Sam tells him it will be just a few minutes, barring accidents. Bugs says, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Oops!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and pours an entire ladle of water from the kettle onto the firewood, putting out the fire. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Foist accident,"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> he says calmly, tucking his hand under his chin as he rests his elbow on the edge of the pot. Sam is livid. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"D'oh! Ya stupid id'jit rabbit! Don't ya know matches is scarce on this island?"</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SUsG7Kx6kw8/V-miM7w_u6I/AAAAAAAALpM/vrKdlQxHmkccpyDXqgCXcvj4902gylwFACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_35_step.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SUsG7Kx6kw8/V-miM7w_u6I/AAAAAAAALpM/vrKdlQxHmkccpyDXqgCXcvj4902gylwFACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_35_step.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam now has to march across the rocks to the shipwreck to get another match. At the water's edge, he carefully starts to step onto the first small black rock, but it turns out to be Dopey Dick lying in wait for him. The shark snaps its jaws down hard, and when Sam pulls back his foot, the front half of his tiny brown boot is missing. He sticks a single toe out of what remains and has it look around the corner of the boot for more trouble. Finally, he sticks his remaining toes out with it. <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Ha! Missed again, ya hammerhead halibut!"</span></i> Sam picks up a small bone and whistles to the shark as if he were a pet dog. <i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Here, boy! Here, go get it!"</span></i> He throws the bone towards the horizon and the shark speeds off after it. Sam races across the rocks to the ship and runs into the cabin. He opens the safe and then pulls out a small drawer, inside of which are numerous matches. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam grabs a single match and then races back across the rocks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-twcNZIJerwc/V-miM9mPgHI/AAAAAAAALpQ/KRs43DZV7QccW_-Q0z8XRRJTNZu-2JT0ACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_37_toepeek.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-twcNZIJerwc/V-miM9mPgHI/AAAAAAAALpQ/KRs43DZV7QccW_-Q0z8XRRJTNZu-2JT0ACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_37_toepeek.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When he reaches his island, he races back to the stewing kettle to relight the fire. But he suddenly realizes the rabbit is no longer in sight. When he goes to look over the edge of the kettle, the shark leaps up out of it and gulps Sam down its maw in a single gulp. Well, everything but Sam's legs, which carry Dopey Dick upside down around the island in a staggered, clumsy walk. Sam finally (somehow) is able to find a mallet and start bashing the shark in the head with it. Dopey Dick quickly leaps off of Sam's body and rushes yelping once more for the water, leaving Sam to bash himself in the face with the mallet several times, after which he is left seeing stars.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ItJiXUfIz7U/V-miMy1iJdI/AAAAAAAALpU/3UesOXLG2W4JO7zg84-c9ztTv6RdmzwAwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_38_bone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ItJiXUfIz7U/V-miMy1iJdI/AAAAAAAALpU/3UesOXLG2W4JO7zg84-c9ztTv6RdmzwAwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_38_bone.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once Sam finally gets his sights righted, he starts to wonder where the rabbit went. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Yoo-hoo!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> yells Bugs, sitting out on Sam's ship. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Mr. Robinson!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (This is the first and only time that there is a direct reference to Sam having this name in the cartoon.) Sam sees where the rabbit is and goes bonkers. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"I'll get ya, ya long-eared galoot!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> he yells, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Shark or no shark!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Sam disappears from view and then runs back into frame with a surfboard. He dives into the water and doesn't make it very far until he realizes that he is sliding straight into the open, waiting mouth of Dopey Dick. After it closes its jaws, the head of the gigantic fish is contorted by Sam's efforts to free himself, and then he zips out, still lying on his surfboard, and he paddles fast for the shore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AUl_I8ppKMc/V-miNA7fZjI/AAAAAAAALpY/eBH5JR2m_Wg_MsSPSNbd1vA7JiApxYgcQCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_42_chomp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AUl_I8ppKMc/V-miNA7fZjI/AAAAAAAALpY/eBH5JR2m_Wg_MsSPSNbd1vA7JiApxYgcQCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_42_chomp.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back on the ship, Bugs lies draped along the bow and sings a couple of lines from the then popular ballad, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Secret Love </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(written by Sammy Fain and Paul Francis Webster)...</span><br />
<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Once I had a secret love</span></i><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>That lived within the heart of me.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>All too soon my secret love </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Became impatient to be free..."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While Bugs croons, Sam makes preparations to attack the ship. He ties a large pink balloon to himself and says, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"This time, I'll outsmart both of 'em!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> He holds a wet finger in the air and realizes the wind is just right, and so Sam pushes a large rock off the string that ties him to the balloon so he can float into the air. When Sam starts to float down towards Bugs on the ship and cackles maniacally in victory, Bugs kicks open a hatch and Sam suddenly finds he is floating straight down towards Dopey Dick, who sits patiently down in the water inside the submerged hold. (It's actually a nice little detail that they remembered they were running around a shipwreck.) Bugs leans calmly on the hatch's edge as Dopey Dick and Sam duke it out in the water unseen. Finally, Sam comes up the stairs beating the shark away with a club while he yells, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Down, down, down, ya sharp-toothed salmon!"</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2XE_TMaPhdA/V-miNG_1RII/AAAAAAAALpc/F5MTxTd40awdYPb7dLKgE6xtsbPQrc__wCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_44_wham.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2XE_TMaPhdA/V-miNG_1RII/AAAAAAAALpc/F5MTxTd40awdYPb7dLKgE6xtsbPQrc__wCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_44_wham.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam shuts the door to the stairwell, and then goes after Bugs who is hopping lightly across the rocks to the island. Sam catches up to him and grabs the varmint. He throws Bugs back into the kettle, relights the fire, and then picks up his cookbook for instructions. Bugs points behind Sam and shouts, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Look, it's a tidal wave!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> but Sam doesn't believe him, thinking it is meant as a distraction. (To be fair, Bugs does say it somewhat insincerely, probably his worst line reading.) Sam yells back at the rabbit, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Shaddup and start simmerin'!!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> but as soon as he does, Sam hears the loud rush of water behind his back. There is a neat shot of the silhouetted pair against the massive wave heading in their direction, and then they are swept away, with Bugs still inside the kettle.</span><br />
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span></i><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QdT2pNs9vNg/V-miNJZNfzI/AAAAAAAALpg/NgYqWzUyz2gG1gksxCfEglwLqsIgGP-iACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_49_surf4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QdT2pNs9vNg/V-miNJZNfzI/AAAAAAAALpg/NgYqWzUyz2gG1gksxCfEglwLqsIgGP-iACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_49_surf4.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Holy, carrot sticks!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> says Bugs in astonishment. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"The island's gone!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Sam swims up screaming for help as the shark chases him in circles around the kettle. He begs the rabbit to pull him in, and Bugs agrees, telling Sam to </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"keep his shoit on!"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Bugs pulls a boat hook out of the kettle (who knew he had one of those?) and lifts Sam out of the water by his shirt. Sam demands to be pulled into the kettle, but Bugs wants to cut a deal. Sam refuses so Bugs puts him back into the water. Sam swiftly agrees to the deal, and the next thing we see is Sam slowly paddling the kettle through the water as he hangs from the end of the hook, still several feet out of the kettle. Dopey Dick follows close behind, his dorsal fin sticking up out of the water. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">"After all, a deal's a deal,"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> says Bugs. They pass a sign that reads, "San Francisco – 2736 Miles". As Dopey Dick chases them, Sam starts to paddle even faster towards the horizon as </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">California, Here I Come</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is played on the soundtrack. Iris out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mJZhXMuSg_A/V-miNbVEIqI/AAAAAAAALpk/l-85BiPbx7MYGqN8szAX5_A_OKwoW-dpACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_52_surf7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mJZhXMuSg_A/V-miNbVEIqI/AAAAAAAALpk/l-85BiPbx7MYGqN8szAX5_A_OKwoW-dpACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_52_surf7.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I find </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rabbitson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> a lot more fun now than I did when I was younger, and that probably has something to do with the end of my close obsession only with Chuck Jones cartoons in my early days (though, honestly, when I watched them on Saturday mornings, the individual shorts did not have credits). But I could tell the different styles apart, and it turned out that the Warner Bros. cartoons which I revered the most in childhood were the Jones' offerings. I also loved a lot of the Friz Freleng shorts as well, but this one got booted aside. Now, I find it completely endearing, and as I mentioned earlier, Dopey Dick is the main reason.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KwN-xuW0uTI/V-miNtZ72YI/AAAAAAAALps/inDdvaram_IbDugx_Yq9cl2V6yHOfqCJwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_56_oops.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KwN-xuW0uTI/V-miNtZ72YI/AAAAAAAALps/inDdvaram_IbDugx_Yq9cl2V6yHOfqCJwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_56_oops.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is one of the rare earlier cartoons where the shark is a fully developed main character along with the other two in the film. He gets fairly equal screentime with the Bugs and Sam, and is given a chance to be both sinister and funny as well. Like any hungry predator in a Warner Bros. cartoon, we simultaneously want Dopey Dick to succeed in his life's mission but also want him to fail in largely comic ways. Sam is so annoying and downright villainous in his own right that he completely deserves to be eaten by Dopey Dick, far more so than Bugs deserves to be eaten by Sam. After all, according to Sam's own dialogue, Dopey Dick has been trying for some twenty years to capture his prey. Why shouldn't he?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XbDZ1nOkBJ4/V-miNgrpuXI/AAAAAAAALpw/G66A1iuol9YJ3XMXjmu0K4qw6WaGur08ACLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_58_storm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XbDZ1nOkBJ4/V-miNgrpuXI/AAAAAAAALpw/G66A1iuol9YJ3XMXjmu0K4qw6WaGur08ACLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_58_storm.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As for design, this is one of my favorite cartoon sharks. He does get to give a couple of early menacing looks, but for the most part, Dopey Dick is kind of goofy looking. Especially in profile, with his grandly elongated snout and widely spaced teeth that hang down almost like vampire's fangs, though there are usually three to five of them. There are couple of shots where it almost appears as if his dorsal fin works like a hat atop his head rather than in the middle of back, which is easier to do when your mouth is drawn in most cases to take up anywhere from the front third to a full half of your body length. (Those shots also happen to be when he is standing on his tail and his back is arched, which further adds to the impression of a sharp, pointed hat resting atop a big bald head.) His is a really simple design, but quite effective, and adds a lot to the comedy, where he is just rubbery enough to get some good reactions to Sam's outbursts of reactive violence. Another nice touch is the constant reminder that the shark really serves as some sort of stray dog loose in Sam's neighborhood, and Sam has adjusted his own behavior (and thus, the shark's) accordingly. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Naming the shark Dopey Dick after yet another literary monument, that of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Moby-Dick, or The Whale</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> by Herman Melville, is also rather a fun move.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pnuz_IG7E3c/V-miPBS7DmI/AAAAAAAALp4/LjkW9o4xnWUnTXtDKkZrlD25wMs2mm3gwCLcB/s1600/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_59_tidalwave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pnuz_IG7E3c/V-miPBS7DmI/AAAAAAAALp4/LjkW9o4xnWUnTXtDKkZrlD25wMs2mm3gwCLcB/s320/Rabbitson_Crusoe_1956_59_tidalwave.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In bringing this back around to </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, a quick search of the novel online finds no mention of the word "shark" within its text, and I also did searches for the word "fish," thinking that Defoe, writing in an earlier age where the word "shark" was not quite as prevalent or even immediately as prone to invoking fear, might have opted for "giant fish" or some other such sobriquet. No such luck, just some mentions of being taught to fish in his youth, etc. It really does appear that I will need to sit right back down and actually reread </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robinson Crusoe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> once again to get my query resolved for good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If only I had a decent copy lying around...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></i><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">[Editor's note: Rabbitson Crusoe has yet to appear on DVD or Blu-ray from Warner Bros. It was released on laserdisc and VHS back in the day, though I am unable to locate my own VHS copy for whatever reason. It does appear online in a couple of places, but I am unwilling to link directly to them in this post as they do not appear on YouTube. You can do a search and find them. If you do, keep in mind that one version out there on Vimeo is fully dubbed in Italian, which makes for a really interesting contrast against the English version. Have fun with that.]</span></i><br />
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-45491761903875800962016-09-22T08:46:00.002-07:002017-06-06T09:23:59.639-07:00The Wreck of the Hesperus (1944)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p03HFAS4iI0/WTbXBRXoQXI/AAAAAAAANSE/IKZFtdZjF_Agkpu6hZSXFdJ5QFildSwjACLcB/s1600/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_488_364.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="488" height="297" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p03HFAS4iI0/WTbXBRXoQXI/AAAAAAAANSE/IKZFtdZjF_Agkpu6hZSXFdJ5QFildSwjACLcB/s400/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_488_364.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="color: #990000;">[For the month of September 2016, I am writing a series of shared posts in conjunction with my animation blog, <b><a href="https://cinema4celbloc.blogspot.com/">Cinema 4: Cel Bloc</a></b>, about cartoons that feature sharks in them. You can read the reviews on either site, but please do visit the other one if you like the content I have to offer.]</i></span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uYvkmUzsxn4/V-P5d-0zATI/AAAAAAAALjY/O7sf6PkpiM4CgUoE2wDy-kgFI9yuA22AACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_01_title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uYvkmUzsxn4/V-P5d-0zATI/AAAAAAAALjY/O7sf6PkpiM4CgUoE2wDy-kgFI9yuA22AACLcB/s200/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_01_title.jpg" width="200" /></a><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wreck of the Hesperus</b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (1944)</i><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dir.: Mannie Davis</i><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">TC4P Rating: 6/9</i><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Species: cartoon sharks, a small but very hungry pack of them.</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sharks versus Mighty Mouse? Say it IS so! It is!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The 1944 short, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wreck of the Hesperus</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, was the eighth Mighty Mouse short churned out by the Terrytoons studio from October of 1942 through December of 1961. When I say "churned out," I mean it; they knocked out eighty of these babies in that span. [OK, technically, the first 77 were released theatrically through 1954, and the final three were completed later in the decade for television, but that means they crammed even more Mighty Mouse into a still smaller time frame. That can be either more impressive or sad, take your pick. I choose to go with "they kept animators employed and there was a market at the time".]</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TxGwJxCMxRU/V-P5d1htpRI/AAAAAAAALjU/PN2sDHGbzrELlM3CMms3ISGpIu8octf3wCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_02_sail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TxGwJxCMxRU/V-P5d1htpRI/AAAAAAAALjU/PN2sDHGbzrELlM3CMms3ISGpIu8octf3wCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_02_sail.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Surprisingly enough, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wreck of the Hesperus</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was the first of the series in which the lead hero is finally named Mighty Mouse, having been called Super Mouse from the very beginning. [TV prints of six of the first seven films, excluding </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Lion and the Mouse</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, were voice-dubbed over so that the Mighty Mouse name appears instead.]</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What you won't find in this film is the what would be considered the classic Mighty Mouse costume: a yellow suit, a red cape with matching boots and shorts, and his tiny hands clad in white gloves. That wouldn't be in place until the fifteenth film, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Sultan's Birthday</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and until then Super/Mighty Mouse's costume leapt all over from film to film as much as the mouse did. In this film, the colors are almost a dead-on match for Superman's famous colors: the red cape, boots and shorts are in place, as are the white gloves, but the rest of the suit is blue with a yellow belt.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ALcdxOf2fSY/V-P5d6K4GdI/AAAAAAAALjc/yP687IYK05oGbtzTsRAkHTEcHZXR8EHygCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_03_skipper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ALcdxOf2fSY/V-P5d6K4GdI/AAAAAAAALjc/yP687IYK05oGbtzTsRAkHTEcHZXR8EHygCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_03_skipper.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As the title would tip one off were one poetically intrigued, the film is an adaption of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's famous 1842 poem, which once served as a standard in English classes (it was for me), which tells the tale of a rather horrid tragedy at sea. C</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">aught in a furious storm, t</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">he captain of a ship lashes his daughter to the mast so that she won't be tossed overboard to perish in the ocean. (Such things did occur, as this poem is most likely based on a couple of real life incidents.) But the storm is so terrible that the captain freezes to death at the wheel of his own ship, and the craft is eventually smashed to pieces in the tempest. Later, the daughter's body is found washed ashore, still tied to the mast.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6scLbtqMoF0/V-P5eCqbl7I/AAAAAAAALjg/pKqgFOZOiygpfkMPcI8VSnM7MzSi--x6wCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_05_moonring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6scLbtqMoF0/V-P5eCqbl7I/AAAAAAAALjg/pKqgFOZOiygpfkMPcI8VSnM7MzSi--x6wCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_05_moonring.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Death and destruction, gore and mayhem... Happy fun times for a cartoon featuring a super-powered mouse, say I!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Naturally, members of the Terrytoons staff remembered the epic tragedy and felt it was a perfect opportunity for their Mighty Mouse character to swoop in majestically and, ahem, turn the tide, as it were. I do not know what inclination led them towards attempting to adapt a classical poem, but it seems clear from examining the evidence of the seven preceding films in the series that they were trying almost anything they could to instill some life into this still nascent but rather unformed series.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jCR3cY8A0tI/V-P5el1We1I/AAAAAAAALj8/rYvo7h-go7kjbvvMik-QRMLkjzwIdBZ7QCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_06_storm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jCR3cY8A0tI/V-P5el1We1I/AAAAAAAALj8/rYvo7h-go7kjbvvMik-QRMLkjzwIdBZ7QCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_06_storm.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The primary problem with the series early on (and some would say throughout its run) lie in its basic structure. Let's say you establish a Mighty Mouse story with a running time of around six minutes. The first minute or so introduces the setting (often a small town or village) and how happy the protagonists – generally, mice, cute beyond measure – are in this situation. The next minute sets up the antagonists – most often a gang of ravenous or just plain bullying cats – and how rotten things have turned for the mice since the cats arrived. The next two minutes show the battle between the mice and the cats, or whatever sides have been taken in that particular episode, which usually leads up to a moment of extreme tension where the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">deus ex machina</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is introduced, here given form in the zero personality form of the early version of Mighty Mouse.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-opQCwgk0fuU/V-P5eRkJ4gI/AAAAAAAALjo/uJQGZtPpjPs6u62BQWC-_gOQRPYhFovvwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_07_wave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-opQCwgk0fuU/V-P5eRkJ4gI/AAAAAAAALjo/uJQGZtPpjPs6u62BQWC-_gOQRPYhFovvwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_07_wave.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This was exactly the problem with the bulk of the early Mighty Mouse shorts: their hero. In some ways, it is the exact same problem with Superman: he is just too relentlessly powerful and godlike. When Mighty Mouse comes to save the day, it is a foregone conclusion that we won't learn much more about him, of course, since he arrives so late in the cartoon that there is time for little else but the proper heroics to correct that episode's jam. From film to film in the early going, we know nothing about Mighty except that he is immensely strong, is invulnerable to almost anything, and (especially early on) can shoot electric sparks from his fingertips which sometimes make him appear as if he can manipulate objects or persons. There are no real (or even facile) attempts at character development, and hardly any dialogue on his part; Mighty rarely speaks a word to anyone, and he doesn't trade quips back and forth with the villains.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gq3cHwblwio/V-P5esGOqkI/AAAAAAAALjs/NkkIsRdEM0cSsA--zM_iv-GxLRPgTsavwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_08_daughter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gq3cHwblwio/V-P5esGOqkI/AAAAAAAALjs/NkkIsRdEM0cSsA--zM_iv-GxLRPgTsavwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_08_daughter.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This would all change later in the series when the direction turned to its more fondly remembered operetta form, which featured later regulars, Mighty's sweetheart Pearl Pureheart and his main nemesis, Oil-Can Harry, These were the shorts where everyone – including Mighty Mouse – sang the bulk of their lines. In the first such example, <i>A Fight to the Finish</i> (1947), the cartoon opened up as if it were a middle chapter of a long-running serial, with a cliffhanger where Mighty and Pearl are in peril, and then as the story veers towards another cliffhanger near its end, the narrator displays impatience and has Mighty sum up the action right away so we aren't left hanging. Mighty also starts to be seen earlier in other cartoons in the series around this time, such as in the <i>Swiss Cheese Family Robinson,</i> where he is seen catching some rays on the beach at the beginning, and then the story unfolds until he is eventually summoned to the rescue by a message in a bottle. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While these shorts are far more fun, such changes come around the halfway mark in the series.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jghE63Sty4/V-P5e1f1qUI/AAAAAAAALjw/ZPH11N9pQMQLGlwF14cnwYWC9tbyZO6tQCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_09_swerve.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jghE63Sty4/V-P5e1f1qUI/AAAAAAAALjw/ZPH11N9pQMQLGlwF14cnwYWC9tbyZO6tQCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_09_swerve.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This early on, however, Mighty is pretty much just a small guy who comes in near the end of a cartoon to beat up on some bigger, meaner guys and make the kids in the audience feel like someone has their back. He is short on character but long in power. Unfortunately, the violent displays of action in the back third of most of the cartoons don't nearly make up for the rather routine set-ups in the front two-thirds. I say "most of the cartoons," because of course there are examples where Terrytoons was trying a bit harder. </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wreck of the Hesperus</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is clearly one of those attempts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Surprisingly, the cartoon remains fairly consistent with the tone of Longfellow's poem for its few couple of minutes, and actually uses ten of its first eleven stanzas in setting up the story. (There are 22 stanzas in total in the poem; of the cruel fate of the second eleven of them, we shall speak in a while.)</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R6ofRnrKxXg/V-P5e3cNkJI/AAAAAAAALj0/1YdEbylUpgMxiW1aWwZhcyRW-DZwI3okwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_10_figurehead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R6ofRnrKxXg/V-P5e3cNkJI/AAAAAAAALj0/1YdEbylUpgMxiW1aWwZhcyRW-DZwI3okwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_10_figurehead.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The action begins with a ship sailing amongst icebergs, and the first stanza describes exactly what we see:</span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was the schooner Hesperus, </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> That sailed the wintry sea; </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And the skipper had taken his little daughter, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> To bear him company.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is the first time in the Mighty Mouse series where those needing rescue are human beings and not mice (though there are mice on the ship who get some screentime and will eventually be rescued, they are not the primary focus for once). Instead, we get a normal-sized sailing vessel upon which we meet, in turn, its three passengers. The second stanza of the poem is skipped in this case, the one in which the daughter's eyes, cheeks, and bosom are described, and instead we get a visual of a pencil-thin blonde with a kewpie doll's head far too large for her body to support it. The wind blows her skirt up so her white bloomers are revealed, and she sits down as the her father is introduced...</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tokVPNPouc8/V-P5fEmDPiI/AAAAAAAALj4/5ANsMDZR_J05mbiAY9u-JfbDsXsFCgTUwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_11_octopus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tokVPNPouc8/V-P5fEmDPiI/AAAAAAAALj4/5ANsMDZR_J05mbiAY9u-JfbDsXsFCgTUwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_11_octopus.jpg" width="320" /></a><i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The skipper he stood beside the helm, </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> His pipe was in his mouth, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And he watched how the veering flaw did blow </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> The smoke now West, now South.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Indeed, the wind does change direction, and the smoke from his pipe blows ahead of him as announced in the poem. From high up in the crow's nest, we are introduced to the third human character...</span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then up and spake an old Sailor, </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> Had sailed to the Spanish Main, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"I pray thee, put into yonder port, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> For I fear a hurricane.</i></span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8es0VB5L6KI/V-P5fbU_3zI/AAAAAAAALkE/5tEWSrCy_sEKq3eWQ6K7cfwEWoGYCbktACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_12_table.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8es0VB5L6KI/V-P5fbU_3zI/AAAAAAAALkE/5tEWSrCy_sEKq3eWQ6K7cfwEWoGYCbktACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_12_table.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As he spies the horizon far ahead, he rushes down the mast to rush the wheel and tell the skipper of their bad fortune. He is clad all in blue, with a sailor's cap and a peg leg. The old sailor continues as we are shown first the face of the man in the moon in the sky, and then the moon in an eclipse, as if someone has pulled the blinds on it...</span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Last night, the moon had a golden ring, </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> And to-night no moon we see!" </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>The skipper, he blew a whiff from his pipe, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> And a scornful laugh laughed he.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the sky above, the clouds form into a huge figure with a frosty beard and hair that blows cold air down upon the sea...</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mapRx1nNtY4/V-P5fWDU3YI/AAAAAAAALkA/5Dx-_5wlrNgdqCKhT5wJFBXAPaL4T33wQCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_13_sharks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mapRx1nNtY4/V-P5fWDU3YI/AAAAAAAALkA/5Dx-_5wlrNgdqCKhT5wJFBXAPaL4T33wQCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_13_sharks.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-style: italic;">Colder and louder blew the wind, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> A gale from the Northeast, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>The snow fell hissing in the brine, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> And the billows frothed like yeast.</i></span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Down came the storm, and smote amain </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> The vessel in its strength; </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>She shuddered and paused, like a frighted steed, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> Then leaped her cable's length.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The ship is tossed about in the ocean, as it climbs one mountainous wave after another. The skipper, fearing the worst, tries to rush his daughter to the only safety that he can envision for her...</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Vc_MmtuJKi0/V-P5fV5ktQI/AAAAAAAALkI/9GWL0lSv2HY3W2nCSeE9-H2tkLrm_5YygCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_14_sharks2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Vc_MmtuJKi0/V-P5fV5ktQI/AAAAAAAALkI/9GWL0lSv2HY3W2nCSeE9-H2tkLrm_5YygCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_14_sharks2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-style: italic;">"Come hither! come hither! my little daughter, </span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> And do not tremble so; </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>For I can weather the roughest gale </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> That ever wind did blow."</i></span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He wrapped her warm in his seaman's coat </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> Against the stinging blast; </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>He cut a rope from a broken spar, </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> And bound her to the mast.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A buoy is show bouncing in the waves, its bell clanging while the storm rages about it. The daughter, who seems to have come somewhat loose from the seaman's coat her father bound her in seconds ago so that her upper torso, rather lightly clad, juts forward from the ropes that bind her, cups a hand to her comely ear and asks in her innocent confusion...</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X-1KNsPLCW0/V-P5folwYcI/AAAAAAAALkM/iy5XU55AutwsFrcFmODyGZj3MtDLrYT6gCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_15_doughnuts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X-1KNsPLCW0/V-P5folwYcI/AAAAAAAALkM/iy5XU55AutwsFrcFmODyGZj3MtDLrYT6gCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_15_doughnuts.jpg" width="320" /></a><i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"O father! I hear the church-bells ring, </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> Oh say, what may it be?" </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"'T is a fog-bell on a rock-bound coast!" — </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> And he steered for the open sea.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The skipper veers the ship through iceberg after iceberg in an overhead shot. The nautical figurehead on the bow of the ship, which is itself the model of a very lovely but scantily clad woman, comes to life momentarily and reaches through a porthole at the bow and pulls out a fur wrap to keep herself warm. On the deck, as the skipper steers, the wheel comes loose and spins away. When he tries to recapture the wheel, a rogue wave sends him running back along the deck. It throws him against a mast and then upwards, where he hits his head on a bell, and then he drops back down to the deck unconscious.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0zoCrsGjpXI/V-P5f5csGjI/AAAAAAAALkQ/bxKR30OHhCcpqBGeRrY99wIPCOtPW4-ygCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_17_chase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0zoCrsGjpXI/V-P5f5csGjI/AAAAAAAALkQ/bxKR30OHhCcpqBGeRrY99wIPCOtPW4-ygCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_17_chase.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Somehow, far below on the sea floor, an octopus manages to see this and laughs in time with the music on the soundtrack. He then rushes into a cave and brings out a tablecloth that he lays down on a large table. He zips back to the cave and comes out with eight plates. Three large sharks arrive at the table to see the plates laid out and lick their lips (well, if they had lips). The sharks are seen breaching and leaping after the ship, whose sails are now tattered and torn from the storm's attack.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Onboard, mice inside the ship are sent scurrying. Two sit atop a box of doughnuts and hand them out to mouse after mouse, for use as inner tubes in the water. Each mouse floats away and then out through the porthole at the bow and into the ocean. The ship is now almost entirely submerged by this point. The daughter, still lashed to the mast, sticks up out of the ocean and watches as the three sharks chase her father round and round through the water. The daughter then speaks one of the more famous lines, which most often is considered to refer to the sound of the storm-driven waves beating against the shoreline...</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HOCyzjOYVQY/V-P5fy8gR6I/AAAAAAAALkU/ukP6yMo4EdoIJBrPFsLWHTVhanuuucLCACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_18_daughter2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HOCyzjOYVQY/V-P5fy8gR6I/AAAAAAAALkU/ukP6yMo4EdoIJBrPFsLWHTVhanuuucLCACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_18_daughter2.jpg" width="320" /></a><i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"O father! I hear the sound of guns...!"</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The skipper and the sharks continue their furious pace, spinning about and about in a tight circle at her feet, as there are no such sounds to be heard. But the daughter, craving attention for her next big line in the poem, pleads in an overly dramatic voice to her father again...</span><br />
<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"O father! I hear the sound of guns...!"</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This time, at her continued insistence, the skipper and the sharks stop cold in the water, all four of them staring at her in a very concerned manner to her words...</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G6sZwdjZ00U/V-P5gLr1VjI/AAAAAAAALkc/kpTdjP_QYwkqnQ6C9GuRgydGj6KSdOJKwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_19_attention.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G6sZwdjZ00U/V-P5gLr1VjI/AAAAAAAALkc/kpTdjP_QYwkqnQ6C9GuRgydGj6KSdOJKwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_19_attention.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> Oh say, what may it be?"</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She points behind them as she asks this, so the skipper and the sharks all turn their heads to look and the skipper says...</span><br />
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<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">"Some ship in distress, that cannot live </i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> In such an angry sea!"</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is interesting to note that at this point, the cartoon skips the next six stanzas. Had they continued on with the tale as told by Longfellow, the daughter would have then asked a third question, and then the story would turn truly morbid: </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"O father! I see a gleaming light/Oh say, what may it be?"/But the father answered never a word/A frozen corpse was he. </i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The poem's next few stanzas then go on to describe in greater detail just <i>how</i> frozen a corpse the father/skipper now is, and then the daughter's subsequent praying and vision of </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">Christ, who stilled the wave/On the Lake of Galilee</span></i>.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Then the ship's journey towards its doom amongst the rocks at the reef of Norman's Woe is recounted. But the cartoon leaps ahead of this morbidity to instead set up its reason for even being made.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RiJ53MmryYY/V-P5gHPkdgI/AAAAAAAALkk/-2x3zh3PTKgZjAf1WqY3CvG8ezTXx9aagCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_20_guns.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RiJ53MmryYY/V-P5gHPkdgI/AAAAAAAALkk/-2x3zh3PTKgZjAf1WqY3CvG8ezTXx9aagCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_20_guns.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Following the skipper's second response to his daughter, he and the sharks pick up their previous chase, round and round in endless circles, and the storm rages onward. We are then shown a lighthouse surrounded by rocks, where three of the mice riding on the life-saving doughnuts crash hard onto the base of the lighthouse. A mice comes out of the lighthouse bearing a lantern and they tell him about their plight. The light-mouse (see what I did there?) runs inside, though fighting hard against the winds, and rushes up to the top to turn the tower's lantern towards the shipwreck. The wind blows the beam of light backward, but the beam, with what looks like fingers at the front edge of its light, pulls itself forward to land on the ship flailing against the waves and the rocks. </span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lnuob5h5s-4/V-P5geaRi2I/AAAAAAAALko/vwi1uAjoYqkxQ3OczPHQNeoZwa1aXfpnACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_22_washedashore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lnuob5h5s-4/V-P5geaRi2I/AAAAAAAALko/vwi1uAjoYqkxQ3OczPHQNeoZwa1aXfpnACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_22_washedashore.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The narrator picks up the poem again far down the line in its eighteenth verse, somewhat changing the meaning to focus on the beam from the lighthouse hitting the wreck, rather than on the ship crashing to its death.</span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She struck where the white and fleecy waves </span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> Looked soft as carded wool...</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">At this point, in the middle of this stanza, the story (and the narrator) gives up the verse of the poem entirely. The next line, </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">But the cruel rocks, they gored her side/Like the horns of an angry bull</span></i>, is discarded in favor of a newly invented line that introduces the cartoon's hero instead...</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bMLhF4uxwBA/V-P5gvvKrqI/AAAAAAAALks/V4AIxUFQr_EgDcoIVnaKAIrEtQnOP3ouwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_24_leap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bMLhF4uxwBA/V-P5gvvKrqI/AAAAAAAALks/V4AIxUFQr_EgDcoIVnaKAIrEtQnOP3ouwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_24_leap.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">But the maiden's plight, called for a knight</i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> Fearless and powerful!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The skipper climbs up the mast to where his daughter is still suspended by her bonds, as the hungry trio of sharks leaps underneath them, each ferocious leap edging them nearer to the doomed pair. Back at the lighthouse, the light-mouse watches everything through a telescope. The mouse is visibly upset by what he sees and starts to spin in place. As he stops his spin, he has changed from a plain brown mouse wearing no clothing at all to a more familiar black-furred mouse wearing the Superman-style outfit I described earlier. As he does, the narrator shouts on the soundtrack...</span><br />
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<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">This... is a job for... MIGHTY MOUSE!!!</i><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8Idt9bo4jmk/V-P5gm37nhI/AAAAAAAALkw/iqgo80ajbrQjS5AuGrADziMNmtQgPDJZACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_25_shock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8Idt9bo4jmk/V-P5gm37nhI/AAAAAAAALkw/iqgo80ajbrQjS5AuGrADziMNmtQgPDJZACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_25_shock.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After the attendant fanfare, the nigh unstoppable Mighty Mouse zooms towards the beleaguered ship, blasting his way without pause through wave after thunderous wave. The sharks loom dangerously close to the skipper and his daughter, with one shark finally deciding that leaping is not doing the trick, so he starts to shimmy up the mast towards them with his pectoral fins wrapped about the pole. But Mighty Mouse arrives in the nick of time (as he tends to do) and punches each shark powerfully on their noses, one after the other. He then flies fast enough around the fish to create a bright red contrail that picks up a full half dozen sharks in his wake, as if they were hooked by the mouths on a fishing line. He flies with his catch up into the sky, and when he has reached an appropriate amount of altitude, he then snaps the contrail like a whip past him and the sharks are sent flying out of sight!</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-v_935b_lz5E/V-P5g6FOFvI/AAAAAAAALk0/kZK4hKKhylMMvlCMDXtbzd1Z9pqWxccrwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_26_mightymouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-v_935b_lz5E/V-P5g6FOFvI/AAAAAAAALk0/kZK4hKKhylMMvlCMDXtbzd1Z9pqWxccrwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_26_mightymouse.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mighty ties his red contrail to a large cleat on the deck near the bow of the once doomed ship, and with a likewise "mighty" tug pulls the craft free of the stormy sea. He drags the ship high through the air and flies it all the way to New York City. The old sailor, the skipper, and the daughter all cheer wildly from the bow, as the comely figurehead holds out an American flag in victory. A huge ticker-tape parade is held down Broadway as thousands fill the street to cheer. In a long convertible, the skipper and his daughter ride in the front seat, the old sailor and the figurehead (still wearing her wrap) ride in the middle seat, and Mighty Mouse rides up on the back edge of the car. Behind the vehicle, smiling, cheering mice run after their hero, waving their arms. THE END.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3CORIQr9788/V-P5hMRPyWI/AAAAAAAALk8/6XXj_QsUvRIu_nhq4tcjr-yuTNE47PT-QCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_28_leap2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3CORIQr9788/V-P5hMRPyWI/AAAAAAAALk8/6XXj_QsUvRIu_nhq4tcjr-yuTNE47PT-QCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_28_leap2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the preceding seven films in the series, there were slight attempts to wiggle the formula a bit, but all but one of them never really got away from the basic "mice vs. cats and then Mighty saves the day" template. The second film, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Frankenstein's Cat</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, did have a horror element, a mechanical monster in cat form that goes after birds and mice, but despite the neat trappings perfect for a Halloween cartoon fest (more on this film in the future), it is still tied to then-quite new formula. The fourth film, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Pandora's Box</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, works in the famous mythical box, but mixes it up with fairy castles, cats with bat wings (who would reappear in later films), and witches, so that it makes another fun Halloween film, but it still hews close to the Mighty cookiecutter form. The chief thing making these early films watchable is that the action is really fast, loaded with gags (however moldy), and the design is pretty endearing if you don't gag on utter cuteness. (And sometimes I quite like super cuteness...)</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t3wy843EC5s/V-P5hRjK-hI/AAAAAAAALlA/ToW47r68OjcFx_QvHfG18ToHFrTY6jSUACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_29_shimmy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t3wy843EC5s/V-P5hRjK-hI/AAAAAAAALlA/ToW47r68OjcFx_QvHfG18ToHFrTY6jSUACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_29_shimmy.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is the seventh film, the one that directly precedes </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wreck of the Hesperus</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, where they really tried something different. </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Lion and the Mouse</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is a direct take on the classic Aesop's Fable, but this time, the mouse tries to hide inside a discarded bottle of hard cider lying on the floor of the jungle, and gets really drunk. The lion takes pity on him and releases him, and when a hunting safari arrives to capture the lion, the drunken mouse get his Irish up and somehow turns into Mighty Mouse. He saves the lion from a trap, hunters, and their dogs, and they both return to the bottle of hard cider and crawl inside... quite literally. The short is a bit more Warner Bros. in style, almost early Chuck Jones but not quite, than the other Mighty Mouse cartoons, and I do wonder if it was influenced even the slightest by Jones' then-current series of Inki shorts.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kFqyKe4kIdI/V-P5hb00TGI/AAAAAAAALlI/KTLRJbtrOaATNPI6vmErUyA05j9tWoXIACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_30_punch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kFqyKe4kIdI/V-P5hb00TGI/AAAAAAAALlI/KTLRJbtrOaATNPI6vmErUyA05j9tWoXIACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_30_punch.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wreck of the Hesperus</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, with the switch of focus to human victims, and a leap into classical literature, it is the first true taste that perhaps they were desperate to find something – anything – to make this series hum along in a different fashion. Were they successful? Well, it is odd to take such a tragic story and turn it into a happy tale involving a super-powered rodent. But then again, there are other examples. In the following year, Tex Avery would take Robert W. Service's </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shooting of Dan McGrew</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and add Droopy Dog and the Wolf to it, and come out with </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shooting of Dan McGoo</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. The story in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">McGoo</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is altered even further from its source material to the point that McGoo, played by Droopy, doesn't even get shot. While it departs from Service into a standard Avery gag-fest, a standard Avery gag-fest is usually miles above what anybody else was producing, and thusly, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shooting of Dan McGoo</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is considered to be one of Avery's great cartoons.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Wb5cUQBUkY0/V-P5hiNEHVI/AAAAAAAALlM/RKH0ElRwpfEusYXX9eVGK7_YIWt8HWQYACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_31_attack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Wb5cUQBUkY0/V-P5hiNEHVI/AAAAAAAALlM/RKH0ElRwpfEusYXX9eVGK7_YIWt8HWQYACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_31_attack.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can also look at the whitewashing that most modern filmmakers, especially Walt Disney, have done to Perrault, Grimm, Andersen, etc. in adapting their classic "fairy tales" to the modern sensibility, both throughout the twentieth century and into the more politically correct times of this century, and realize there is nothing different about what is done in this film in those terms. It is merely to gain the basic structure of a story (and even its setting in verse, in this case) in the public domain, and then artistic license is allowed to take over for the remainder of the film.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And who wants a frozen corpse of a father in a Mighty Mouse cartoon? Well, OK, deviants probably wouldn't mind it (and I am squarely in that camp, depending on my mood at any given time). But I will accept a trio of grimacing, hungry sharks (who are not mentioned at all in the verse of the poem) – and even a goofy, table-setting octopus – over a couple of gruesome deaths in this case.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vLEFDQX6xTU/V-P5hukMp7I/AAAAAAAALlU/3wKzEaq5AJomo0UYqFcLvwY_J51fGBYJACLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_32_hooked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vLEFDQX6xTU/V-P5hukMp7I/AAAAAAAALlU/3wKzEaq5AJomo0UYqFcLvwY_J51fGBYJACLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_32_hooked.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As for those sharks, I think they are pretty groovy. From the second they arrive on the screen, I am sold on their appearance and their purpose in the film, as they lick their chops in anticipation of tasty sailor stew. There is no real difference between each one of the sharks (until the contrail scene, where we get a half dozen, we actually only ever see three of them), and they seem to react in tandem to everything. As a trio, they do the job. They add the menace for which they meant, but they also get a couple of neat comic moments in the film. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During the scene where the daughter mentions the "sound of guns," and she resorts to intentional overacting to get their attention, the look on the sharks' faces is absolutely wonderful as they seem to forget their regular intent and get caught up in her big theatrical moment. Likewise when they turn to see where the "sound of guns" is coming from (though there isn't any sound to be heard at all), and then wait while the skipper delivers his big ironic line from the poem (in which he mentions a separate doomed ship to divert her from their ultimate fate), before collapsing back into the chase for dinner as before. And in the scene just before Mighty arrives, where one shark slowly creeps up the mast by shimmying instead of leaping like the others is a really nice touch.</span><br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y1WX3N_SmAA/V-P5iEdyZ0I/AAAAAAAALlg/acch8WOT7rk4b4mwR3Kfe8ifilsLZGPXwCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_36_limo2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y1WX3N_SmAA/V-P5iEdyZ0I/AAAAAAAALlg/acch8WOT7rk4b4mwR3Kfe8ifilsLZGPXwCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_36_limo2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Does the Terrytoons version of <i>The Wreck of the Hesperus</i> work as an adaptation? Not really. It discards half of the poem, especially the second half where the true drama of the story lies. As a spoof of a literary classic? Partially, but not nearly as well as Mad Magazine's adaptation in the 1950s where Wally Wood really put it through the wringer. (You can find it online.) I grew up reading this version, and read it long before I ever read the real one (though technically, the verse is not changed; all of the humor lies in the images that accompany it), and I love it to this day. </span><br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-V46giujHjck/V-P5idNqluI/AAAAAAAALlk/G1n7jK-rnIwfAcsuStxS8RqLVpOMRtqAQCLcB/s1600/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_37_limo3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-V46giujHjck/V-P5idNqluI/AAAAAAAALlk/G1n7jK-rnIwfAcsuStxS8RqLVpOMRtqAQCLcB/s320/The_Wreck_of_the_Hesperus_1944_37_limo3.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But as a Mighty Mouse cartoon (and especially as the first full Mighty Mouse cartoon sans the Super Mouse name), this version is certainly my favorite of the first eight cartoons in the series, and a nice reprieve from the endless mice vs. cats battling of most of the examples early on in its eighty-cartoon run.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wreck of the Hesperus</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has cartoon sharks, who get to do a little bit more than just be big and mean and scary. What's not to like about that?</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">RTJ</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>*****</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And in case you haven't seen it...</i></span></div>
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-76636133285368429002016-09-20T17:00:00.000-07:002017-06-06T10:54:36.921-07:00Toothy Trailers: USS Indianapolis (2016)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just for a taste of what will hopefully be coming up in the relative near future (and what was supposed to be here already) on <i>The Shark Film Office...</i> This is the full length trailer for <i>USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage</i>:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage</i> is directed by Mario Van Peebles, and stars Nicolas Cage and Tom Sizemore. Yes, it is the same true story that Captain Quint spins his monologue around in one of the most memorable of many famous scenes in <i>Jaws:</i> the tragic fate of the U.S.S. Indianapolis during World War II. Shortly after delivering parts of the atomic bomb that would eventually level Hiroshima, the ship was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine and sent to the bottom of the Pacific along with 300 of its crewmen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Around 900 more U.S. men were left stranded for five days in the open ocean, and among the varied reasons that another 600 or so men died before a little over 300 were ultimately rescued, the one that plays best in a widescreen movie theatre are the massive amount of shark attacks that occurred.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's face it, as tragic as this tale is, and though there is a need for it to be told to future generations, if there weren't sharks in this story, we probably wouldn't hear about it as frequently as we do. Not just in <i>Jaws</i> (which had some historical inaccuracies), but there was a made-for-television movie in 1991 called <i>Mission of the Shark</i>, starring Stacy Keach and Richard Thomas, as well as a couple of Shark Week specials over the years devoted to the topic. The tragedy has been name-checked and briefly told in numerous other shark specials as well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Watching the rather lengthy trailer above, which seems like one of those that is devoted to leaving no single plot point unturned (something that I despise in trailers), my primary concern is in the portrayal of the sharks. Some might check out to see if Nic Cage can remain somewhat in check and actually tap into his most often dormant acting skills for the length of a full motion picture; me, I'm in it for the sharks only.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sadly, it seems that the filmmakers have decided to concentrate mainly on great whites. This is just from the closeups and action shown in the trailer. It is generally considered by most experts that the majority of deaths by shark that occurred during and after the sinking of the USS Indianapolis were perpetrated by oceanic whitetips. I am not saying that there weren't great whites on the scene and that some made meals of our men; there were probably a great many shark species involved, including blues, bulls, and tigers, alongside the whites. But from most eyewitness accounts, and from the gathered knowledge of sharks in those waters, whitetips – who themselves are counted amongst the most tenacious of species and are most frequently seen at the sites of shipwrecks and maritime disasters – were likely the prime suspect in the majority of deaths by shark attack.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It will be interesting to see if whitetips are portrayed in the film at all. From the breaching scene alone, it is clear the filmmakers are going for <i>Jaws</i>-style fake-shark scares in their great white scenes, so how will they handle any other species in the film? Will there be other species seen clearly in the film? And will any of the attack scenes be better than the one in the trailer that basically looks like they spent a day on the Universal lot at Amity Island?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Or will the chewing in the film be left primarily to Nicolas Cage as he tears into the scenery, as he has garnered quite the reputation for doing so in much of his recent work? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The film's official release date was September 1, and that has come and gone, and now almost three weeks past that date, there are still there are no U.S. showtimes on IMDb. The film has already had its world premiere in late August in the Philippines (where it was shot for the most part), but nothing since. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Will this $40 million budgeted flick shoot straight to video, or will we get another shark flick on the big screen this year? Only time will tell...</span><br />
<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-52223257350453379832016-09-15T13:20:00.001-07:002017-06-06T10:22:15.417-07:00Codfish Balls (1930)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vnhczgUIOW0/WTbku8ySYYI/AAAAAAAANSU/Wp5JXmL-vF0ervHBOFQ4NgS7krKNn-a4wCLcB/s1600/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Codfish_Balls_1930_488_364.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="488" height="297" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vnhczgUIOW0/WTbku8ySYYI/AAAAAAAANSU/Wp5JXmL-vF0ervHBOFQ4NgS7krKNn-a4wCLcB/s400/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Codfish_Balls_1930_488_364.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #990000;">[For the month of September 2016, I am writing a series of shared posts in conjunction with another of my websites, <b><a href="https://cinema4celbloc.blogspot.com/">Cinema 4: Cel Bloc</a></b>, about cartoons that feature sharks in them. You can read the reviews on either site, but please do visit the other one if you like the content I have to offer.]</span></i><br />
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #990000;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D2wDGVl9IlE/V9nc8ws0BZI/AAAAAAAALdY/EzWBKqOh4OoC_EZRo2NDOZQcFaSErtNmwCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_01_Terrytoons_title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D2wDGVl9IlE/V9nc8ws0BZI/AAAAAAAALdY/EzWBKqOh4OoC_EZRo2NDOZQcFaSErtNmwCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_01_Terrytoons_title.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Codfish Balls</b><i> (1930)</i></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: Frank Moser</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 5/9</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Species: cartoon sharks, a gang of them with stunted bodies and sawblade-like dorsal fins.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sharks in the early days of animation came in a wide variety of styles. I suppose that if one were to use the argument that if there are over 500 identified species of sharks in the world, why shouldn't there be that many species too in the animated shark world, only in a more fanciful sense. I guess that I would have to somewhat agree with such a musing. Why not indeed? In cartoons, mice, ducks, and cats and all other manner of animals speak like us, drive cars, fly planes, have dogs for pets, captain boats, wear clothes, and do everything else that humans do and that other normal animal species don't, so the rules for everything in the universe have already been turned topsy-turvy just in their initial conception. If something is called a shark but really doesn't look like a shark, does it really matter at all?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In my last Cel Bloc post, I wrote about the 1930 Terrytoons short,</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, where I discussed how animators in the early days of the art form seemed to care little about what form a shark took on screen as long as they got across the basic idea that it was a shark of some sort. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The shark in <i>Salt Water Taffy</i> had a full set of jaws with big pointy teeth, but he had a rather stubby body, a dorsal fin that I noted looked more like a mogul on a junior ski hill, and had a round black nose of the sort that you would normally see on the face of one of the Beagle Boys in an <i>Uncle Scrooge</i> comic book. Sure, it swam through the water and tried to attack a swimmer and was done in with cannon fire from a navy ship, but the shark was also released from a leash wielded by its owner, a super-grumpy octopus who strode along the ocean floor while wearing a sailor's cap and seven shoes on its tentacles.</span></div>
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Codfish Balls</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was released by Paul Terry a few months before </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in 1930, by the same director (Frank Moser), and I would presume many of the same animators, though I have been unable to find information to verify that as of yet. This film, too, incorporates sharks into its plot – many, many sharks, it turns out – but except for a couple of common superficialities early on when they first appear in this cartoon (one of which disappears almost immediately), they are of a far different stripe than the shark that menaces the heroine in <i>Salt Water Taffy</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The original opening credits on this cartoon no longer exist for the version available online, and instead has the replacement title card that was used when it aired as part of the syndicated TV show </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Farmer Al Falfa and his Terrytoon Pals</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> back in the late 1950s. The cursive-style Terrytoons logo used in that card was then quite familiar to kids who watched <i>The Captain Kangaroo Show</i> as well for the adventures of <i>Tom Terrific</i>, which aired in daily installments on that series.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_Nvm3NjW_bo/V9nc88uFOnI/AAAAAAAALdo/UX9uRdAfRr4Iml3gTGMldGBuflJDgel1wCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_02_shanty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_Nvm3NjW_bo/V9nc88uFOnI/AAAAAAAALdo/UX9uRdAfRr4Iml3gTGMldGBuflJDgel1wCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_02_shanty.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Codfish Balls</i> is a pretty straightforward seafaring adventure, albeit with an animal crew but no matter, and we are introduced immediately to what appears to be a group of swarthy looking swashbucklers right from the start, as they sit around on the deck of their ship singing a couple lines from the sea shanty standard </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Blow the Man Down</i>. While the pirates sing, a beefy dog with a</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> peg leg dances along to the tune. A billy goat wearing pants while seated on a tricycle rides circles around the cabin on the deck of the ship, and is alternately pushed and chased by a rat. The rodent annoys him greatly, but every time he turns out to scowl at the rat, the little guy pushes the back of the trike forward giving the goat another burst of speed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NHSN6inDRS8/V9nc9BMEiKI/AAAAAAAALdk/zUO3I1iSz_cuVfDgxPwXT96slhUgG-tzgCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_04_tattoo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NHSN6inDRS8/V9nc9BMEiKI/AAAAAAAALdk/zUO3I1iSz_cuVfDgxPwXT96slhUgG-tzgCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_04_tattoo.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When they swing wildly around the corner of the cabin, the goat and rat run right under the dancing dog with the peg leg, and he spins in the air and falls on his keister as they speed away. They make another circuit around the cabin, and run under the dog again, sending him spinning to the ground anew. Infuriated, the dog picks himself up and confronts the goat, while the rat stands safely to the side. Without actual dialogue (there is little English spoken but a couple of lines and the song already heard in the film), the dog accuses the goat and then punches him hard, making him flip in place. He punches the goat twice more, and then the goat retaliates in the classic goat style, head-butting the burly dog</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in the chest. The dog sinks back unconscious against the outer wall of the cabin, and the ship that is tattooed on his chest sinks beneath the waves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tSN-zPZyFxY/V9nc9CklCfI/AAAAAAAALdg/EIM_93z8688zEn0CqLFwep9Ch2uLfZV5QCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_05_eggs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tSN-zPZyFxY/V9nc9CklCfI/AAAAAAAALdg/EIM_93z8688zEn0CqLFwep9Ch2uLfZV5QCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_05_eggs.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But the rat is not done with the dog. The dog revives himself and find that the rat has a large basket of eggs at his side, and the little pipsqueak starts throwing them at the face of the dog. Yolk starts pouring down over the dog's head as the rat chucks a couple of AAA Large at the mutt. From around the corner, another pirate with a peg leg </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">– a cat this time – shows up, and the rat nails the cat in the face too, and then scrambles, appropriately, straight up the ratlines to the mast above. The angry cat grimaces at the rat, and one of his teeth rolls upward in his gritted grimace so he can stick his tongue – snaked, I must stress – out through the gap. The cat shakes his meaty fist upward in the rat's direction several times, and then hops towards the ratlines, balancing precariously on the railing of the ship momentarily.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IdThXT8jxUU/V9nc9hqk9KI/AAAAAAAALdw/nzukL2ts5o8ykSWDLAl1TF_qWV7fFth8wCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_08_swords.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IdThXT8jxUU/V9nc9hqk9KI/AAAAAAAALdw/nzukL2ts5o8ykSWDLAl1TF_qWV7fFth8wCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_08_swords.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The cat climbs up fast along the ratlines, and meets the rat along the yard atop the sail, where they engage in a frenetic sword fight. The cat uses his peg leg within the fight to parry the rat’s blows on occasion, and it soon seems that the cat wears the rat down. Finally, the pirate cat lunges for the rodent but gets caught in the sail, and the rat pounces on the opportunity to spank the cat in the rear end several times. Then, for some strange reason, both combatants leap off the sail and into the ocean.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Up in the crow’s nest, we see a large whale spouting in the far distance, and a different pirate cat manning the watch blasts an alarm on a horn to alert his fellow buccaneers. “Thar she blows!” he cries, and then it suddenly seems that perhaps these aren’t actually pirates at all, but whalers of the old school instead. On the main deck, another former-pirate-now-turned-whaleman blares back on another horn, and yells back, “Who she blows!” (at least, that is what it sounds like to me… you check it out; the soundtrack is very old, garbled, and loaded with distortion).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ULi233jtrPU/V9nc92qA7CI/AAAAAAAALd4/px88IcrWWHAMG1iloEcfOrTwX7cEhFucACLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_10_hook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ULi233jtrPU/V9nc92qA7CI/AAAAAAAALd4/px88IcrWWHAMG1iloEcfOrTwX7cEhFucACLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_10_hook.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Out on the sea, the cat and the rat, who had previously been feuding on top of the sails, are now in a rowboat being paddled by the much smaller rat. The cat, who by his actions and authority is clearly the captain of the ship, though he doesn’t seem much different than the others aboard, bonks the rat in the head with every stroke as they row towards the whale. When they reach the mighty leviathan, the cat captain cruelly places the rat onto a hook on the end of a fishing pole and angles it towards the whale. Since fishing for a whale with a pole and bait is clearly not normal operating procedure for whalers, this now makes me doubt my previous position where I changed my initial impulse proclaiming them to be pirates to one where they were whalers. Now this just makes these morons look like opportunists, and that takes them squarely back to just being pirates again. (Man, I have ever been watching too much of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Cooks vs. Cons</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">…)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BtEA_jJPsi8/V9nc-NEBRQI/AAAAAAAALeA/0pjOBORRe8Uf15XdHcmDY5_xc6StBE6_gCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_14_chew.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BtEA_jJPsi8/V9nc-NEBRQI/AAAAAAAALeA/0pjOBORRe8Uf15XdHcmDY5_xc6StBE6_gCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_14_chew.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The rat is not happy with this arrangement and squeaks angrily at this treatment as he dangles in front of the whale, who just sits in the water smiling away, seemingly without a care for what is happening. The cat, for his part, delights in dipping the rat into the water, and laughing merrily. But when the whale finally does open its mouth, it not only swallows the rat, but also the pole, the cat, and the entire rowboat, with a huge hungry scowl as its massive sharp, pointed teeth close down around everything in a single bite. We see a closeup of the whale thoughtfully and carefully munching its dinner, but suddenly a hatch opens up on the whale’s head!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yKtxfPg0mJU/V9nc-TE-TPI/AAAAAAAALeM/MZo61LBtjX4M0pHuVAj-svHM_8p5BizWQCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_17_tail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yKtxfPg0mJU/V9nc-TE-TPI/AAAAAAAALeM/MZo61LBtjX4M0pHuVAj-svHM_8p5BizWQCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_17_tail.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The rat and the cat climb out swiftly, and then the pirate captain cat smacks the whale on the noggin with an oar. Dazing the whale, they leap into the water, but the whale gives chase through the waves. When the rat dares to swim in front of the cat, the feline reaches out and picks up the theme from when they first approached the whale, conking the rodent on the head to take the lead. The rat moves forward again, and the cat picks the rodent up bodily and places him behind once more. Regardless, the rat still manages to reach the ship first and climbs up a ladder. When the cat gets there, the whale grabs his tail and tugs on it painfully, but the cat gets free and climbs to safety as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WHWX2Q5qp3I/V9nc-WVxTWI/AAAAAAAALeI/CYE8grr7f7oAwXLyhionYceZf7_rxslqwCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_19_underplank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WHWX2Q5qp3I/V9nc-WVxTWI/AAAAAAAALeI/CYE8grr7f7oAwXLyhionYceZf7_rxslqwCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_19_underplank.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the cat reaches the rat again, he slaps the rodent in the face. The pirate then ties a blindfold over the rat’s eyes, pulls a knife, and pushes him towards the plank to walk to his death. They both stride out onto the plank – to the then quite familiar strains of the Civil War standard </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Tramp! Tramp! Tramp!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> playing on the score – and march all the way to the end of it, but as the rat has the excuse of still walking about blindly, we bear witness to a classic cartoon gag (you may recall Bugs Bunny pulling off a similar trick against Yosemite Sam in <i>High Diving Hare</i>, for example), as the rat continues apace and flips to the underside of the plank, walking normally as if there has been no change in his orientation, and marches straight back into the ship to the astonishment of the pirate cat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zDGad5EYsHI/V9nc-yrT8lI/AAAAAAAALeU/zfenwdWxzPEpQyQZY2qx5AdrNfNkCOxQwCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_22_sharkladder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zDGad5EYsHI/V9nc-yrT8lI/AAAAAAAALeU/zfenwdWxzPEpQyQZY2qx5AdrNfNkCOxQwCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_22_sharkladder.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With the rat safe inside again, isn’t it time some sharks got into the action, folks? Or, maybe if not sharks, how about something that – kind of, sort of – represents sharks even if they really do not look all that much like sharks? Sharks waiting for a buccaneer victim to walk the plank to gather an easy meal is a standard image of much adventure and pulp fiction. Sure as you can bet, just below the plank, we hear the ominous but familiar refrain of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Mysterious Mose</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> on the soundtrack as we see the snapping jaws of numerous hungry sharks in the water, waiting for a tasty rat meal. However, some of the sharks can’t wait that long to get a pirate snack. Several of them use a ladder to climb through a porthole inside, and then march through the bowels of the ship towards the deck to seek out their prey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JlwWHjP-KxI/V9nc--05ZRI/AAAAAAAALeY/zfa2Qw3Q0vc2O8biIAJWqWNnE6dfQnfuQCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_23_shark_ship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JlwWHjP-KxI/V9nc--05ZRI/AAAAAAAALeY/zfa2Qw3Q0vc2O8biIAJWqWNnE6dfQnfuQCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_23_shark_ship.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the deck, the pirate-turned-whaler-turned-pirate-again cat captain has tied his would-be rat victim to the mast and is delighting in torturing him. Fate is clearly against him, though, as the thug turns around to see the big toothy grimace of one of the sharks, who really look more like rather stunted, sharp-toothed fish with sawblade-style fins on their backs than they do sharks, but it is clear their purpose here is in the role of a shark. In the part of the film that made me laugh out loud, the tough captain cat cries out in a rather high, girlish alarm of surprise, “ME-OW!” and runs away in fear, with the rat running away after him. They run around the cabin, and the sharks – varying between a dozen to upwards of eighteen in count – give chase in formation, three to a row.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YRjV5PT8Q6U/V9nc-2Ca62I/AAAAAAAALec/EuFwMts4qiws0S2_59_bepOgUjevGyHUgCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_24_meow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YRjV5PT8Q6U/V9nc-2Ca62I/AAAAAAAALec/EuFwMts4qiws0S2_59_bepOgUjevGyHUgCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_24_meow.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the sharks start to come out one by one through a porthole in the cabin, the mouse stands on top of the cabin with a board and smacks each one hard in the head in sequence. The sharks fall to the deck in a big pile as the rest pour throw the porthole and get smacked in turn. Somehow, the cat captain has ended up in the rear of the line and comes out to get smacked as well. The cat turns to look up at the rat atop the cabin, who by now has several sharks sneaking up on him from behind. Thinking quickly, the rat leaps onto the rigging and a dozen of the fish give chase after him up to the crow’s nest, where the rat hides on the other side of it and somehow traps all of them inside by closing the lid, basically canning all of the fish. (The crow's nest has a lid? Oh, cartoons...)</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-47Ulfk7PBCE/V9nc_MWKWtI/AAAAAAAALeg/lui7xMST4lY_luvgVg6zGW6MWRgWUWPKgCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_25_chase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-47Ulfk7PBCE/V9nc_MWKWtI/AAAAAAAALeg/lui7xMST4lY_luvgVg6zGW6MWRgWUWPKgCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_25_chase.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The rat leaps up and down in joy at the capture, but the pirates are still mad at the rat. The captain uses his pegleg to fire a cannonball at the rat (that’s a nice hidden weapon to have), and then calls over another pirate – a double amputee on crutches – and orders him to fire two cannonballs at him at the same time with both peg legs. (A doubly nice weapon to have in reserve…) The two pirates continue to fire wildly at the rat, who dances about merrily, easily avoiding their missiles. However, one of the balls finally hits the crow’s nest, which causes the bottom to burst open. The sharks all fall out from it into a giant pile right on top of the captain on the deck. The captain crawls out and shakes his fist in rage at the rat, who leaps down and lands hard on the captain cat’s head, and then both of them leap into the ocean. The sharks revive themselves and leap after the cat and rat, chasing them both off into the horizon. Iris out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WwRWPNIAo3E/V9nc_c_eLsI/AAAAAAAALeo/VPsc_2SGQu8LtqXQ6VKDyzrKgTgn8N5OACLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_27_cabin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WwRWPNIAo3E/V9nc_c_eLsI/AAAAAAAALeo/VPsc_2SGQu8LtqXQ6VKDyzrKgTgn8N5OACLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_27_cabin.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Codfish Balls</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, we have a decently paced cartoon with plenty of action though little sense, but certainly with more of a through-line than </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> did. I joked about the pirates not seeming like pirates all the time, and that may be true, but who or what they are in an occupational sense is also not really all that important to the film. What matters is that a bunch of sailors are at sea on a tall ship, there are antics built first around the crew fighting amongst themselves, then their attack upon a whale, and then dealing with a concentrated attack by sharks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N8dLwu_MQpg/V9nc_n7lZ9I/AAAAAAAALew/L_S6DwmI4sQZlkHgW4UKziajcUOdJuKiQCLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_30_fist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N8dLwu_MQpg/V9nc_n7lZ9I/AAAAAAAALew/L_S6DwmI4sQZlkHgW4UKziajcUOdJuKiQCLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_30_fist.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Perhaps identity is an unintentional hidden theme behind this film. We have the pirates who may or may not be whalers, and then we also have the issue of the rat, who basically serves as the hero, even though he is kind of asking for a lot of what happens to him. I have decided to call him a rat in this description of the film's plot, but he might be a mouse. I mentioned how in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, the playful mice in that film, who sang and danced and swam about, were had unusually tall limbs for mice. I had mused on the notion that perhaps the length of their limbs had something to do with not wishing to be sued by Walt Disney for copyright infringement, though it was merely idle speculation on my part. I have no proof of this, any more than I have proof that the rodent in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Codfish Balls</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is either a rat or a mouse. He could be a mouse; his facial design is exactly that of what I called mice in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, but he has much shorter limbs. The longer limbs on the other "mice" would actually lead me to believe that they were actually the rats, since rats are most often much bigger than mere mice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jpLjq04CjxI/V9nc_n0JexI/AAAAAAAALe0/hW9_5iKL6n8eobQvPLk3FsUcf-3J6D0hACLcB/s1600/Codfish_Balls_1930_32_sunset2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jpLjq04CjxI/V9nc_n0JexI/AAAAAAAALe0/hW9_5iKL6n8eobQvPLk3FsUcf-3J6D0hACLcB/s320/Codfish_Balls_1930_32_sunset2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But there is one true reason that I decided to go with the "rat" nomination for the rodent in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Codfish Balls</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">: the general identification with rats being at large on sailing ships. When I used the term "ratlines" earlier, it was to stress this link, as I called it out at that moment. While Mickey Mouse certainly had nautical adventures in his career, the difference between him and the rodent in this film is that Mickey is a fully developed and known character going into the story; he can be a mouse on a sailing ship because we understand going in that not only is he a mouse, but that he is an extraordinary mouse. This rat character has no given name within the film, nor do any of the characters, and we only know of him what we are shown from his first appearance within the film to his last. In <i>Salt Water Taffy,</i> given that the rodents were meant to be cuter and more readily identifiable as human in their clothes occupations, and language, I was more accepting of them as mice; here, though he is sympathetic and we root for him against the bullying cat, because of the setting and his scurrying actions aboard the ship, I only see him as a rat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Getting back to my main purpose here, the sharks also seem to have an I.D. problem in this film. While they are drastically different from the shark in <i>Salt Water Taffy</i>, and even though (as I said before) this film predates that one by several months, there is a matching trait between them: a button nose. When the sharks are first seen in the water in <i>Codfish Balls</i>, snapping their jaws upward at the plank in anticipation of a rat dinner, they have a black button nose at the tip of their snout, just like the dog, cat, and rat have in this film, and just like the shark has in <i>Salt Water Taffy</i>. The difference here, though, is that those black noses completely disappear by the time the sharks decide to climb up the ladder and march into the ship. It has to be a mistake, and it may go totally unnoticed by someone – basically anyone else – that isn't running a blog where he is purposefully writing not just about sharks, but also about cartoon sharks. Sure enough, when I went back to watch and rewatch these scenes, the black noses are gone within second of the sharks first appearing in the film.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then there are those fins along their spines. I mentioned they look more like sawblades than actual dorsal fins, and indeed they do. Maybe it was more to give them the impression of a tough haircut than anything else, but these fish really do not look like sharks one they are no longer snapping their jaws underneath the plank. This is not to say that I don't think they aren't pretty groovy. I like the way their jaws jut out as they sneer at the cat and the rat, and I like their creepy, determined march through the ship. I think they are terrific villains, and worthwhile opponents for anyone in an animated film. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But do I think they are sharks, and not just some other form of big, scary fish? These guys seem more like oversized, ocean-going piranhas with razors on their backs to me. Hell, the enormous whale in this film seems more like a shark, with its giant fanged teeth and rapacious appetite, than these guys do, even if he has no dorsal fin at all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In a world where animated sharks are hard to come by, though, I will take all I can get. Sharks or sharky posers... whatever. Tell them to bring their friends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>*****</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And in case you haven't seen it...</i></span></div>
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-80543609519359688542016-09-11T08:31:00.001-07:002017-06-06T10:33:01.862-07:00Salt Water Taffy (1930)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yE78AVHgjJk/WTbnQI7ZWZI/AAAAAAAANSg/h51xE0Rgf8cFqUh90g7gH8zfeKqzbduNACLcB/s1600/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_488_364.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="488" height="297" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yE78AVHgjJk/WTbnQI7ZWZI/AAAAAAAANSg/h51xE0Rgf8cFqUh90g7gH8zfeKqzbduNACLcB/s400/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_488_364.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #990000;">[For the month of September 2016, I am writing a series of shared posts in conjunction with another of my websites, <b><a href="https://cinema4celbloc.blogspot.com/">Cinema 4: Cel Bloc</a></b>, about cartoons that feature sharks in them. You can read the reviews on either site, but please do visit the other one if you like the content I have to offer.]</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FAQAA5L9T3c/V9V0S9_WXWI/AAAAAAAALXY/DS69o0hk6GsMaA-DdSy29sfbN1iIgCEcgCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_01_title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FAQAA5L9T3c/V9V0S9_WXWI/AAAAAAAALXY/DS69o0hk6GsMaA-DdSy29sfbN1iIgCEcgCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_01_title.jpg" width="320" /></a><b>Salt Water Taffy</b><i style="font-weight: bold;"> (1930)</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dir.: Frank Moser and Paul Terry</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">TC4P Rating: 5/9</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Species: cartoon shark, this time with snubbed dorsal fin; appears to be the pet of an octopus and is on a rather undefined form of leash. Probably a dogfish.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just as with live-action narrative films, there are far more animated films out there with sharks in them than you might think. The reasons one does not often think of such things, outside of a commonly held public disinterest in the animated state of sharks, are probably many, but there are probably a couple of main reason that really sum up why sharks are really second – and even possibly steerage – class citizens in the cartoon world.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B7H8LMU5DtA/V9V0S0oTOMI/AAAAAAAALXQ/TdReU_EV9nwtr2aNPepchkUHz3FAEYywwCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_06_salty_dance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B7H8LMU5DtA/V9V0S0oTOMI/AAAAAAAALXQ/TdReU_EV9nwtr2aNPepchkUHz3FAEYywwCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_06_salty_dance.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first is that until relatively recent, there have not been any really big, recognizable, regular cartoon characters that were portrayed by sharks. That state changed somewhat in the '70s after </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> made everyone gonzo worldwide. Along with the insane amount of merchandising available, both official </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> products and just simply anything with a shark upon it, television too had to get into the shark game. Suddenly, there were two competing Saturday morning cartoon shows called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jabberjaw</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Misterjaw</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> with sharks as the lead characters. However silly those leads were, and even with the fact that one shark talked like Curly from the Three Stooges, breathed air, and played drums in a rock band (Jabberjaw) and the other shark wore a vest, bowtie, and top hat and spoke with a kooky German accent courtesy of Arte Johnson (Misterjaw), both characters were still quite recognizable as sharks. Jabberjaw certainly looked like a great white shark, albeit a supremely klutzy and cute one, while Misterjaw was supposed to be a great white, but really just looked like a generic shark (he was entirely blue; Jabberjaw at least had the white underbelly).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l8OY7MTmW_c/V9V0Sx3MwtI/AAAAAAAALXU/jKEwRydsAxkK8Ysc-ttYIprR5XkuKmg8QCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_09_hippo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l8OY7MTmW_c/V9V0Sx3MwtI/AAAAAAAALXU/jKEwRydsAxkK8Ysc-ttYIprR5XkuKmg8QCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_09_hippo1.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But, in the animated screen of the movie theatres for several decades, sharks were supporting characters at best, and mere local color if they were lucky. And not even on a regular basis, just a part here, and a part there. Usually in a beach, fishing, or pirate adventure, if that was the story the main characters had gotten themselves involved in that time, and if so, there might be a chance that a shark would show up as the main villain or as the henchman to the villain. Or at least turn up in a film for a quick gag or two if it was </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">that</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> type of picture, such as the kind Tex Avery specialized in during his early years at Warner Bros. But a shark would never get called on to carry a cartoon, because frankly, who was going to have a shark in a lead role? In a hero's role? Or even in a sympathetic role? Not a lot of call for sharks as best friends, then or now. (Cue </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Anchorman 2</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">...)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zzByTs8dyjI/V9V0TB_Kp3I/AAAAAAAALXc/pWKl1Zc_NBQtkuwtiOG1FKwjRyJCUT8RACLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_12_changing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zzByTs8dyjI/V9V0TB_Kp3I/AAAAAAAALXc/pWKl1Zc_NBQtkuwtiOG1FKwjRyJCUT8RACLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_12_changing.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then there was a problem that rather plagued early animated portrayals of sharks through the first half-century of the late, sometimes great, more often not so, twentieth: just what exactly does a shark look like? It's a question that you wish early animators asked more often, because what constituted a "shark" in the '20s and '30s would not pass muster today. To be fair, the wonders of undersea exploration did not really open up to the public until post-World War II, which on the big screen was represented through the work of filmmakers and diving pioneers such as Hans Hass and Jacques-Yves Cousteau. Much of the ocean and its wonders were even more unknown to the general public than they are today, where we regularly hear that we have still explored only a fraction of the ocean's total depths. Well, it was even worse then.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QoloxYCOIcg/V9V0TY6AXsI/AAAAAAAALXg/AX9gp-up_XgwJGT4Y1aAsyXtwWRAuMuVwCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_15_crane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QoloxYCOIcg/V9V0TY6AXsI/AAAAAAAALXg/AX9gp-up_XgwJGT4Y1aAsyXtwWRAuMuVwCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_15_crane.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am pretty certain that you could ask nearly any school-age kid today to draw a shark and they would give you a fairly decent approximation of its general shape and its most commonly known features: the torpedo-shaped body, the jaws, the teeth, the pectoral fins, the rudimentary build of a tail area, and probably as prominent as the teeth would be the dorsal fin. (I've seen kids draw some crazy huge dorsal fins on sharks over the years.) I wouldn't hold your breath for pelvic and anal fins or second dorsals, but I think most kids would have the basic design down pretty well. And we all have an image of a shark drilled into our heads now, especially in the post-<i>Jaws</i> era. There can't be anyone that doesn't know what a shark looks like, right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8c1pvJ0LzzI/V9V0TWsOvtI/AAAAAAAALXk/aez4HZ3fyTIZ2t6lCgbziRnmUYS9Uq-cgCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_17_mouse_turtle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8c1pvJ0LzzI/V9V0TWsOvtI/AAAAAAAALXk/aez4HZ3fyTIZ2t6lCgbziRnmUYS9Uq-cgCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_17_mouse_turtle.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pre-<i>Jaws</i>, pre-aqualung (not Jethro Tull, but Cousteau and his cronies), while sharks had certainly been scientifically catalogued for hundreds of years by that point, they were very much more creatures of mythic stature than anything else. They were known more by reputation than by </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">physical presence in our lives, unless you happened to live either where they were regularly caught and sold, or liked to go swimming in the same places they did. Kids didn't cuddle up to stuffed shark toys in those days, but sharks were also not seen as monstrous killers, but more as a regrettable nuisance to be avoided when one took to sea. Then </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1916 happened, when the series of famous shark killings in the Jersey Shore area occurred (five victims, but only four died, two of them inland), and suddenly sharks were headline villains du jour, especially the great white shark – for a long time considered to be the culprit, though it has been argued since that a bull shark was responsible for the three inland attacks in the Matawan Creek area. (That is my theory as well.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z331kov7Z0E/V9V0TtMRWxI/AAAAAAAALXo/h_lxG6K0bqQPxjS4nTMP1xmxXxrpoVXvQCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_19_dive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z331kov7Z0E/V9V0TtMRWxI/AAAAAAAALXo/h_lxG6K0bqQPxjS4nTMP1xmxXxrpoVXvQCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_19_dive.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While sharks definitely entered the public consciousness a bit more following such an incident, it doesn't mean that everyone got the memo. It doesn't mean that everyone took the time to do a little research into how sharks actually look or even that they really cared how they look. In a fantasy world where mice talk, fly planes, and fight giant cats with peg legs, does it really matter if a shark's dorsal fin looks more like a mere mogul on a ski hill than have a proper arch and come to a decent point? I don't find it unusual that a landlocked animator asked to draw a shark for a few seconds of a film would take massive liberties with the design of the creature, and just draw it in any manner that would work for the film they were doing. No one is going to these films for scientific accuracy, merely for pure escapism. Who cares if the dorsal fin is correct?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0FKFRSJTMWA/V9V0TiHBN6I/AAAAAAAALXs/ZUhwR56wSc0hubQ_yQdPdiPKgZYQthOuACLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_22_mud.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0FKFRSJTMWA/V9V0TiHBN6I/AAAAAAAALXs/ZUhwR56wSc0hubQ_yQdPdiPKgZYQthOuACLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_22_mud.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So that is where we are at the start of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, a 1930 short from Paul Terry's Terrytoons studio, directed by Frank Moser and Terry. It's a combination of sea-faring adventure and beach party flick, where a singing and dancing sailor sets up the action, disappears for most of the picture, animals of various species cavort in the waves and end up in silly hijinks, an octopus and shark show up to ruin the fun, and then the sailor rushes in to save the day and win the girl. If it sounds like fluff, that's what it is, but it is of a piece of many pictures of its day. If you can't find at least a little something to smile at in this, then you are in the wrong genre, buddy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y5TZHjuiGZg/V9V0Tra6tPI/AAAAAAAALXw/7xfTujlSlKk7NleQ_riuDnbhguAgnEXgwCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_24_sharpen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y5TZHjuiGZg/V9V0Tra6tPI/AAAAAAAALXw/7xfTujlSlKk7NleQ_riuDnbhguAgnEXgwCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_24_sharpen.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">From the outset, we have to contend with that sailor fellow, who introduces himself to us aboard his ship (on which he seems to be the only sailor) via song, using the familiar tune of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Sailor's Hornpipe</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (which you probably know best from the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Popeye the Sailor Man</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> theme song):</span><br />
<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">“I’m Salty McGuire the gob, </i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>you’ll always find me on the job. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>When a ship’s in distress </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>then who cleans up the mess?</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Why, it’s Salty McGuire the gob!</i></span><br />
<i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></i><i><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We sail as we lead a rough life.</span></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>We eat our peas with a knife.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>When the ocean gets rough,</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>that’s the time we get tough!</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Oh, I’m Salty McGuire the Gob!”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-18tkoWXiPYU/V9V0T_gAc0I/AAAAAAAALYo/8InSTTNa1HM9f0T_8s4i_6mgnPL1WxvFgCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_30_fasten.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-18tkoWXiPYU/V9V0T_gAc0I/AAAAAAAALYo/8InSTTNa1HM9f0T_8s4i_6mgnPL1WxvFgCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_30_fasten.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In between the verses, Salty dances the traditional hornpipe, showing some fancy footwork, and when he sings about eating his peas with a knife, Salty demonstrates it immediately for us. (He's a true man of his word, that Salty!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Elsewhere, a speedboat driven by a cat wearing a captain's hat zips along with eight other cats sitting in the back. The speedboat rides straight through a big wave and when it emerges on the other side, the eight other cats are left floating in the ocean while the captain and his boat speeds away. On the beach, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">scores of cats wave their arms in limited animation joy, with dim shouts of "Hooray" and "Woo hoo!" heard on the soundtrack.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gX4sgLopt8s/V9V0TzORQHI/AAAAAAAALX0/z3yagnzd0VsIu_T9F0IbOaS7UEWepjNFACLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_31_swim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gX4sgLopt8s/V9V0TzORQHI/AAAAAAAALX0/z3yagnzd0VsIu_T9F0IbOaS7UEWepjNFACLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_31_swim.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A hippo waterskier, actually using a large plank of wood instead of skis, is being towed by a large, razor-backed fish. She flips off the board and does a somersault into the ocean. A monkey stretches out his comically long arms in a slow breaststroke but a bird passes over him and drops an anchor, for no logical reason, onto his head. The monkey sinks and we don't see him for the remainder of the film. An elephant cranks the engine on an outboard motor and the boat immediately takes off into the air, even with the elephant inside. The elephant eventually falls out of the flying boat but her skirt fills up with air around her like a parachute. She floats softly for but a few brief seconds, but then her skirt collapses, and she drops hard into the water.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jqZwDKsEdiI/V9V0T8yHCBI/AAAAAAAALX4/7n3MtvPm4AA706E4vbs_lHoNqxv_gdhZQCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_32_octo_and_dogfish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jqZwDKsEdiI/V9V0T8yHCBI/AAAAAAAALX4/7n3MtvPm4AA706E4vbs_lHoNqxv_gdhZQCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_32_octo_and_dogfish.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back on the beach, singing is heard emanating from inside a changing booth that sits atop a small cart. The booth stretches up and down, growing thinner and then fatter, as the unseen singer goes up and down the operatic scale. As each run reaches its apex, another piece of clothing is tossed out the window and onto a nearby clothesline. Then a lovely lady hippo emerges from the booth carrying a tiny parasol while she wears a one-piece bathing suit. She skips and sings "La la la" as she reaches the water’s edge. When she carefully dips a toe in, the tide rushes at her, so she runs backward playfully. When it goes out, she once more dips a toe, and then runs back again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HvCRmCFzrvY/V9V0UFA5gkI/AAAAAAAALX8/3anfatKEFuA4eqtCrAj4gNvclwptiQaFwCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_33_chase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HvCRmCFzrvY/V9V0UFA5gkI/AAAAAAAALX8/3anfatKEFuA4eqtCrAj4gNvclwptiQaFwCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_33_chase.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the tide starts to leave, she leaps at the water, and ends up stranded on the beach, though, with her eyes closed blissfully, she thinks she is under the water, and she maintains a swimming posture while resting on her belly on the sand. A tall mouse passing nearby with a pair of oars takes the opportunity and strides up to the hippo. He climbs onto her back just as the tide rolls back in and uses his oars to propel her out into the ocean. He rows out to his boat, where he hooks a crane to the hippo and tries to lift her up out of the water, but her weight pulls down the entire boat and submerges it fully into the sea.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HflzQwUsqKk/V9V0UFUTutI/AAAAAAAALYA/8ObeHYqxNnAY3RCK9tr9ryLIJJXo2p-GgCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_34_watch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HflzQwUsqKk/V9V0UFUTutI/AAAAAAAALYA/8ObeHYqxNnAY3RCK9tr9ryLIJJXo2p-GgCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_34_watch.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On land, another group of tall mice are holding a race on the backs of a group of turtles. One of them is a beautiful lady mouse wearing a swimsuit, who rides apart from the rest of the pack. Her faithful turtle steed ends up getting flipped over at one point during their ride. He acts frustrated as he climbs out of his shell to turn it back over, before climbing back inside it to continue the race. When they get to a small cliff at the water’s edge, three of the turtles and their riders leap into the water without pause. The fourth turtle, the one carrying the beautiful lady mouse, stops and then cranes his neck far out over the water so the lady mouse can use his head and neck as a springboard to dive into the water. When a boy mouse pops up near her out of the waves, the turtle turns his neck into a set of stairs so the boy mouse can climb up to perform his own dive. When the boy mouse does, he slams his head hard into the mud just underneath the too shallow water. His head gets stuck momentarily, and when he gets loose, the mud has formed a brick around his head, through which he blinks his eyes at the camera.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RiBaD73fWHc/V9V0UTotD0I/AAAAAAAALYE/-bUA3d_yCBMrlcK1WRpPg7aQq8ggGvJBQCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_35_scream.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RiBaD73fWHc/V9V0UTotD0I/AAAAAAAALYE/-bUA3d_yCBMrlcK1WRpPg7aQq8ggGvJBQCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_35_scream.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ominous music plays as a large hat-wearing mosquito carrying a briefcase marches into the scene (he only flies briefly before picking up a nervous stride). He pops open his case to reveal a pencil sharpener, which he uses to sharpen his long, needle-like sucker. He stops his march again to open the case and this time use a razor strop, not just on his needle, but on his rear end as well. (Why? I don't know, since they have no stinger there.) In the distance is another supremely fat mosquito completely filled up and drunk on blood. He hiccups like a lush while the song </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Bear Went Over the Mountain</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> plays lazily on the soundtrack. The first mosquito runs up and rubs his hands in admiration over the fat mosquito’s belly. “Where did ya get it?” he asks, and the fat skeeter points to a sleeping elephant nearby.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mDqFUsKsTYU/V9V0UUVVtCI/AAAAAAAALYI/4WhZdSnKZWIENUWgXtnaIEEFPwPMNsvbwCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_36_shoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mDqFUsKsTYU/V9V0UUVVtCI/AAAAAAAALYI/4WhZdSnKZWIENUWgXtnaIEEFPwPMNsvbwCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_36_shoot.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">How Dry I Am</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> plays on the soundtrack, the skeeter flies to the elephant and lands on his belly. He undoes the top of the elephant’s pants and lifts its shirt as well, and then circles around in the air a few times before determining the best space from which to suck blood. (Get your mind out of the gutter, you sickos.) Grabbing his nose, the mosquito turns his proboscis into a hand-drill to make a hole in the elephant’s tummy. After a few seconds of drilling, he pulls out a small can of oil to aid in the process. The elephant suddenly wakes up and smashes the skeeter with a single, swift blow from his trunk. The large mammal stands up and turns his back to the audience to fix his pants, turning his head shyly to the camera and fastens them finally to the tune of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shave and a Haircut</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--pux6AhUaGw/V9V0UgZjkxI/AAAAAAAALYM/DCpM-4snE84bUare3E_G8Bgh0wzxjVoAQCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_37_dive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--pux6AhUaGw/V9V0UgZjkxI/AAAAAAAALYM/DCpM-4snE84bUare3E_G8Bgh0wzxjVoAQCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_37_dive.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are whisked back to the lady mouse and the turtle, who are cruising along happily through the water on a joy ride. However, in this universe, octopuses are apparently evil and super grumpy and grumbly. And they also wear sailor caps and have a shoe on the end of all but one of their eight tentacles. They also apparently keep sharks as pets. I am guessing, in this case, that the shark is a dogfish (it does have a black button type of nose, entirely uncommon in actual sharks), since it seems to be on a leash held by the octopus as he strides along angrily beneath the turtle at the bottom of the ocean. We never see exactly why the octopus is so angry at the lady mouse. We just have to accept that he is, in the same way that we have to accept that the monkey that was pounded with the anchor in the head earlier didn't drown nor did the elephant who fell hard into the water after her skirt failed as a parachute nor did the tall mouse whose boat was submerged by the hippo earlier. We have to accept that none of these characters drowned to death, or else this film is far darker than one could ever imagine, and thus we also just have to accept that the octopus is either pissed about an earlier unseen transgression or he is just an all-day jerk.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_kkOc0UbsZI/V9V0U8E6btI/AAAAAAAALYQ/OS-ChPKqu7I1-gPJiamUWJt73TX2mbQLwCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_38_rescue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_kkOc0UbsZI/V9V0U8E6btI/AAAAAAAALYQ/OS-ChPKqu7I1-gPJiamUWJt73TX2mbQLwCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_38_rescue.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The shark </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">has a strange rounded bump of a dorsal fin, and certainly not what the modern viewer would perceive in their mind if they were told to expect a shark in this film. The octopus lets go of the shark's leash, and the snarling, snapping fish is allowed to </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">swim free after the lady mouse and her turtle mount. The large shark rises to the surface, dwarfing the turtle, and frightening the lady mouse, who throws her arms up into the air and screams. B</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ut instead of riding off easily on the turtle, who is speeding along at a pretty good clip, she leaps to the side of the reptile into the water to swim directly in front of the shark (a tactical error, if you ask me).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MTqbUkj5jXg/V9V0U2SzUnI/AAAAAAAALYU/BMoJZe8u4-oFnl2Akgr_X8v37WPK66qaQCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_39_dead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MTqbUkj5jXg/V9V0U2SzUnI/AAAAAAAALYU/BMoJZe8u4-oFnl2Akgr_X8v37WPK66qaQCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_39_dead.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Re-enter Salty McGuire the Gob, who has been watching the action from the deck of his ship through a spyglass. His craft changes directions by lifting directly up out of the water and spinning about 180 degrees, and Salty mans the cannon at its bow. In a perspective shot, he fires several shots at the shark as it swims in the distance. Three large cannon bursts are fired, each hitting their target, but it is the fourth one that does the job. Both the shark and the beautiful lady mouse are sent sinking unconscious beneath the waves. They both sink downward, but Salty dives in </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">and rescues the girl and carries her to the surface. The shark continues to sink slowly until he finally lies belly up on the bottom of the sea floor, presumably dead.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RJxsiK7Sa3Q/V9V0VI9yUkI/AAAAAAAALYY/L9IOxMy9Kg07y4GzW0JKN1cFVK2qTk1hACLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_40_whoareyou.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RJxsiK7Sa3Q/V9V0VI9yUkI/AAAAAAAALYY/L9IOxMy9Kg07y4GzW0JKN1cFVK2qTk1hACLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_40_whoareyou.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back on Salty's ship, the lady mouse comes to in her hero's arms and asks meekly, "</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Who are you?" He replies, "</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Me?" and then launches into a reprise of his opening song, this time with the lady mouse joining him in a dance...</span><br />
<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why I’m Salty McGuire the Gob!</i><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>You’ll always find me on the job!</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>When the ocean gets rough,</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>that’s when I do my stuff</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>for I’m Salty McGuire the Gob!”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He dips the girl, she kicks her long mouse legs high in the air, and he gives her two hard, quick kisses. Iris out.</span><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HUUt4nlbFhk/V9V0VObBHZI/AAAAAAAALYc/oyLG2D8_Jt4_DR3VNdDNDecEes6h-53NgCLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_42_kiss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HUUt4nlbFhk/V9V0VObBHZI/AAAAAAAALYc/oyLG2D8_Jt4_DR3VNdDNDecEes6h-53NgCLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_42_kiss.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is most episodic, mainly a series of blackout gags framed by the slight story of its sailor host, Salty McGuire the Gob. (And what is the deal with the absurdly long limbs on the tall mice in this cartoon? I guess to differentiate them from Mickey and Minnie to avoid a lawsuit from Disney?) As I mocked throughout the description, as long as you aren't too worried about closure surrounding the fates of certain characters, there isn't a lot to hang on about in this short. Silly, light fun for the most part apart from that drowning motif.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PMWIIYNuv8I/V9V0VSyaJPI/AAAAAAAALYg/Nl-8hLfidQMIoOhQXMT4EIT46OFADJ_sACLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_42_reprise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PMWIIYNuv8I/V9V0VSyaJPI/AAAAAAAALYg/Nl-8hLfidQMIoOhQXMT4EIT46OFADJ_sACLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_42_reprise.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But there is a darker undercurrent to the picture and it involves its shark character, who seems merely like a pet, but unlike the monkey, the girl elephant, and the hippo, we do get to see the shark's fate – or at least a glimmer of it – through to what we presume is its end. (That grumpy octopus? Totally disappears once he unleashes the shark...) When the fourth cannon blast hits the shark and we are shown the long slow dive towards the bottom of the ocean by the shark and the unconscious lady mouse, the film shifts tone in a brief but jarring way. The intent of the animators is to show the heroics of Salty as he rescues the girl, but as they swim away, the camera follows the shark downward to the bottom, and dwells upon the giant fish as he flips about to lie prostrate upon the sand on the floor, belly up, a sure sign for its death.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They did not need to show this extension of the action sequence; after all, they quite noticeably did not show us the outcome of numerous other gags earlier in the film. But here there is such a focus upon the circumstances of the shark's demise that it is hard for me – and I certainly cannot speak for anyone who is not already attuned to feeling sympathy for sharks, whether or not they are considered villains or monsters – not to feel a little heartsick, not to get a little emotional in a film where otherwise I felt relatively nothing at all, not even laughter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3U6WqAWXAJE/V9V0VnGFIlI/AAAAAAAALYk/6FNO46PRDpsgVJNxxBc9yHzNog23H4unACLcB/s1600/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_43_end.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3U6WqAWXAJE/V9V0VnGFIlI/AAAAAAAALYk/6FNO46PRDpsgVJNxxBc9yHzNog23H4unACLcB/s320/Salt_Water_Taffy_1930_43_end.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If there is anything that distinguishes </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt Water Taffy</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 86 years after its creation, it is this short sequence of the shark, that really doesn't look all that much like a shark as we would recognize one today, meeting its maker at the hands of a sailor mouse with ridiculously long limbs for a rodent of its nature. Since the shark represented a dog in the universe of this film, it is not hard for me to make an even further emotional leap in my mind. This turns <i>Salt Water Taffy</i> into a kind of <i>Old Yeller</i> of the 1930s for me. Luckily, the scene takes place underwater so nobody can see my eyes welling up with tears.</span><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">RTJ</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">***</i></div>
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And in case you haven't seen it...</i></div>
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-36405572645732099562016-09-03T22:17:00.000-07:002017-06-06T10:42:27.597-07:00Bee at the Beach (1950)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NRrOgsgSPkg/WTbpdlAkqOI/AAAAAAAANSs/KHcahbWNJygfVGPVVy0YaorvxCMGnoe2ACLcB/s1600/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Bee_at_the_Beach_1950_488_364.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="364" data-original-width="488" height="297" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NRrOgsgSPkg/WTbpdlAkqOI/AAAAAAAANSs/KHcahbWNJygfVGPVVy0YaorvxCMGnoe2ACLcB/s400/TSFO_Carchar-o-toons_Bee_at_the_Beach_1950_488_364.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Bee at the Beach</b><i> (1950)</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dir.: Jack Hannah<br />TC4P Rating: 7/9<br />Species: cartoon sharks (a whole six-pack of 'em!)</span></i><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LuiruaMdI7Y/V8tgHy0k69I/AAAAAAAALMg/8x5fo14ZQQELcvqgF3jIsXQzl8TzOEzTACLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_1950_poster_1200h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LuiruaMdI7Y/V8tgHy0k69I/AAAAAAAALMg/8x5fo14ZQQELcvqgF3jIsXQzl8TzOEzTACLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_1950_poster_1200h.jpg" width="215" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Regular followers of my animation blog, the </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://cinema4celbloc.blogspot.com/">Cinema 4: Cel Bloc</a>, </b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">may well wonder where I have been for the past couple of months, since I have not posted a new review there since late in June.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">There are a trio of reasons, the first of which involves getting my mind and spirit refreshed via a pair of short vacation trips. I started off flying back to my hometown of Anchorage, Alaska for the Fourth of July holiday, and then zipped up the California coast at the end of the same month to Sonoma County for a brief family reunion. The necessity of said refreshment of mind and spirit was due in large part to being out of gainful employment for well over a year. Not from any lack of trying on my part, for in my downtime, apart from blogging and writing like a maniac, I started my own freelance writing and editing business. Unfortunately, a serious illness hit me at the precise moment that I went live with my freelance website, which led to a secondary tailspin involving a lot of doctor visits and even more medication than I was already taking. (Much better now, thank you, but I still have to take a lot more meds than I would like.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Which leads me to the second reason for not posting: the fact that I have, in recent weeks, actually managed to pick up some freelance assignments. This has allowed me to breathe a little bit easier on the money front, and it is very nice to feel productive in a societal sense again, even if it means that my once robust free time has dwindled down a good measure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K8MG_SuaZqc/V8une5ByQQI/AAAAAAAALRs/4eLv7hoTD9Qt2QdGHRzoX3iTIR0Qq2ioACLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_01_beach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K8MG_SuaZqc/V8une5ByQQI/AAAAAAAALRs/4eLv7hoTD9Qt2QdGHRzoX3iTIR0Qq2ioACLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_01_beach.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But the third reason for not posting on the Cel Bloc ties into something far more fun for me. Because I do still have a fair share of that free time I mentioned, I have been spending most of the past few months concentrating on finally getting my third blog -- this one, in fact -- </span><a href="http://sharkfilmoffice.blogspot.com/" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank"><b>The Shark Film Office</b></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, operating at cruising speed. When I started </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shark Film Office</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> back in 2006, it was meant to just be a little side project, only meant to be a place where I could occasionally discuss whatever film I wanted that just happened to have a shark in it. It was cool to start, but I never really committed to the idea in the beginning, and thus, I posted very little over the first couple of years. Then, like my other blogs, my professional life and personal darkness overrode my writing. I sunk into a massive depression that almost led to dire personal consequences. <i>[You can read about that episode on my original blog, The Cinema 4 Pylon, <a href="http://cinema4pylon.blogspot.com/2015/10/why-i-write-blur-that-is-last-couple.html" target="_blank">here if you care to wallow in another's misery</a>. Rest assured, I am much better now on that front.]</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I got back to writing again as a form of therapy over a year ago, and then worked that therapy into blogging regularly once more to ensure that I would stick to the concept, reviving </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shark Film Office</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was far from my mind. But once the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Pylon</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Cel Bloc </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">were up and running again, and I was having some success and happy with their new progress, I realized that what I really wanted to do was get the shark site running as a regular feature as it never had before. I dipped my toe into the water, and liked how it felt, but then a curious thing happened. I found that, in terms of interest in all thing shark related in film, the time was curiously ripe. More films than ever were being released with sharks in them annually, mainly due to properties like </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and its Syfy Channel ilk, but it seemed like sharks could pop up in almost anything on movie screens and on TV. I started to rethink how I approached the idea of sharks on film, and came to the realization that sharks have been represented for over a century on film, whether in fictional epics or documentary travel films, as foils in comedy shorts and multi-chapter serials, or as hulking, mostly villainous adversaries in any number of shorts and features throughout the history of animation. I knew that it was finally time to concentrate fully on the history of these creatures in all styles of film production, and so </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Shark Film Office</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has become a regular venture for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, what does all of this have to do with a very simple Walt Disney cartoon where Donald Duck goes to the beach to catch some rays? Easy... sharks. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bee at the Beach</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, a Donald Duck series entry from 1950 directed by Jack Hannah, has a solid six pack of big, toothy sharks, all eager to snap Donald up in a tasty, feathery bite. And while Donald is my favorite Disney character of all time, I have to agree: he pretty much deserves it in this one.</span><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Bee at the Beach</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is part of the sub-series of Donald cartoons where the fiery duck does battle with a tiny adversary in bee form, often named Spike, but now generally referred to by the noise the social insect makes when he speaks: Buzz-Buzz. (He is also called this name directly in a couple of the seven shorts in the sub-series.) In most of their shorts together, there is something coming between Donald and Spike/Buzz-Buzz [I am going to stick with Spike for this one, since that seems to have officially been his name for this short], and this cartoon is no exception. Both characters are trying to catch some rays at an overly crowded local beach, and end up parking in the sand next to each other. Let the battle of wills begin.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pd0UffVmcQo/V8une8fAYHI/AAAAAAAALRo/8FPyrATCOjYARwWEyei5nvnQ91FMXxzaACLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_02_step.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pd0UffVmcQo/V8une8fAYHI/AAAAAAAALRo/8FPyrATCOjYARwWEyei5nvnQ91FMXxzaACLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_02_step.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Spike is a happily humming buzzer as he flies along the beach, jam packed with umbrellas, but he is even happier to see a nice open spot ahead of him as he looks down. His joy is short-lived as he hears Donald Duck, wak-wak-wakking the same tune Spike was buzzing as he makes his way unseen through the forest of umbrellas. Spike zips to the spot but is send ricocheting away by the open of Donald's big red umbrella. Donald balances a picnic basket and beach towel on his arm as he finishes his song with a flourish, and then begins to set up his gear. Spike, too, has his own beach gear, consisting of a clamshell for a beach chair, and a flower to serve as his own umbrella. No sooner has he put on his tiny little sunglasses and settled back to relax than he has Donald's beach towel thrown over the top of him. As Spike buzzes angrily and burrows out from under the towel, Donald starts his run to the beach by stepping on Spike, crushing him into the sand.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UtrEtUwcEPY/V8uneyoP-5I/AAAAAAAALRw/vMvHPLPyUvUW-vmyZIbgPp_VoAdP__vXACLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_03_kick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UtrEtUwcEPY/V8uneyoP-5I/AAAAAAAALRw/vMvHPLPyUvUW-vmyZIbgPp_VoAdP__vXACLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_03_kick.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While the duck floats on top of some extremely shallow water, the bee takes the time to set his gear back up and try to relax again. Donald runs back and dries himself off, wringing his wet towel over the top of Spike and his clamshell. The wet bee is angry, but even angrier when Donald brushes sand off his beach towel into a pile on top of Spike and his clamshell. The little bee spits out sand and marches to the edge of Donald's towel. He buzzes to get the duck's attention and calls him over. Donald obliges by bringing his head down low to the ground, where Spike builds a little pile of sand, and then kicks it dog style onto the top of the duck's bill. Donald is now the one spitting and snorting out sand!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xZi2T0BUPds/V8unfEX7j7I/AAAAAAAALR4/NDVz_MCq870yqfZyhaz5ZOZNovYLCjubQCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_04_straw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xZi2T0BUPds/V8unfEX7j7I/AAAAAAAALR4/NDVz_MCq870yqfZyhaz5ZOZNovYLCjubQCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_04_straw.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The irascible fowl reaches down and blows on the bee, sending the little guy rolling away. Spike somersaults straight into his clamshell, which snaps down on top of him, causing him to wriggle and kick his little legs furiously. Donald laughs loudly in his familiar style and opens a grape soda by flicking the top open with the use of the trapped bee's stinger. This infuriates the little guy, and he flies high up into the air and then charges at Donald's straw, machine-gunning several holes into it with the use of his stinger. Soda shoots out in all directions from the straw. Spike buzzes angrily at the duck, but Donald traps him inside his half-finished soda bottle. Laughing at the bee and saying, "That'll hold ya!," Donald takes to the water in his "Super Duper Raft".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Spike is not to be stopped, however, and he uses his stinger like an outboard motor and revs up the remaining soda in the bottle until it foams up and shoots the top of the bottle off into the sky. Spike flies up high, locates Donald, and buzzes down hard and fast towards the duck stinger first, aiming to pop his life raft. He hits the water and shoots and sputters like a faulty torpedo towards the raft for a good distance, but Donald arches his rubber craft at the last moment so that the bee skitters right past him. Spike rams right into a rock just under the surface of the water pretty hard, but it does not deter him. He flies back, but takes a different tack this time. He sneaks over to the valve of the life raft and starts to unscrew its top. Donald starts to cry "Why you little--!" but the bee manages to pull the cap off, and Donald is sent shooting farther out into the ocean, past the rocks near the shore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_F1VO4ixI1w/V8unfENOqBI/AAAAAAAALR0/vaj5vVdkjd0o_j_K0l_d_f62yvCtiOBOQCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_05_fins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_F1VO4ixI1w/V8unfENOqBI/AAAAAAAALR0/vaj5vVdkjd0o_j_K0l_d_f62yvCtiOBOQCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_05_fins.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When Donald comes to a stop, muttering all manner of angry slander about the bee, he is sitting on the life raft at the size at which he originally saw it before he pumped it up: a small square barely big enough for the duck to sit upon comfortably. The small purple umbrella built into the raft remains as well. Donald's muttering swiftly turns to a shriek when he realizes he is surrounded by the dorsal fins of six different sharks. He starts to pump the life raft to a more manageable size and mops his brow with his hand. But Spike has no intention of Donald staying comfortable. He whistles and draws the duck's attention to his stinger, which he pulls so that it makes a springing noise. The bee then sits back on the raft so that his stinger is close to popping the rubber boat, and bounces torturously in front of the duck.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LLkuDU_p4NU/V8unfAHYVNI/AAAAAAAALR8/_6MB50KlEFErx82WbuVMR72lHjf1PLRsgCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_06_rear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LLkuDU_p4NU/V8unfAHYVNI/AAAAAAAALR8/_6MB50KlEFErx82WbuVMR72lHjf1PLRsgCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_06_rear.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"No! No! Not that!" begs Donald, but the bee nods his head. He leaps up lightly, and brings his stinger down, popping the raft. A long slow whistling noise starts, but Donald plugs the hole with his thumb. Away from the raft, Spike rides along happily atop the dorsal fin of one of the sharks. He sees that the duck has stopped the leak, so he flies back and pops three more holes, all of which Donald fills his three remaining fingers on the same hand. Spike flies to the other side of the raft and pops four more holes, and Donald uses his other hand to stop those leaks. He leaps to the left front and does four more holes; Donald uses his left foot to plug those holes. The bee does the same on the right front; Donald follows suit. (There is a major error here, as Spike does four holes each time, but Donald plugs three holes with each of his feet. It is pretty noticeable; even when we were kids we called it out each time we saw this cartoon.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Td1IRlEt4fM/V8unfTmqsmI/AAAAAAAALSA/YkKUd9c-W6Irlx8bwQLVzDL83kKtIKwfwCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_07_breach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Td1IRlEt4fM/V8unfTmqsmI/AAAAAAAALSA/YkKUd9c-W6Irlx8bwQLVzDL83kKtIKwfwCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_07_breach.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With all four of the duck's limbs occupied, Spike sits on Donald's bill and sharpens his stinger. He drops down to the water and swims under the raft. He then cuts a square just below Donald, allowing his swimsuit-clad rear end (with a little wisp of white feathered tail) to stick down into the ocean. The bee pulls a single feather out and swims down to a sleeping shark. He waves it in front of the shark's nostrils, and wakes the shark to attention. The big fish swims up and hungrily licks his chops at the inviting meal in front of him. Just as he is about to take a huge bite, Donald leaps up, the shark breaches, and the raft ends up sitting on top of his head. The shark looks around confused, but when Donald skedaddles (at first splitting without the raft, then reaching back for it), the shark races after the frightened duck.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bSdsR18IAu8/V8unfsOkMOI/AAAAAAAALSE/fkFSqlHKC_I_wcLrsjEEiEOxFMK-v7iFgCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_08_hide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bSdsR18IAu8/V8unfsOkMOI/AAAAAAAALSE/fkFSqlHKC_I_wcLrsjEEiEOxFMK-v7iFgCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_08_hide.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Donald finally resorts to running on top of the water, and the shark reaches out with its teeth and grabs the life raft. The rubber stretches out to a ridiculous length, and the shark manages to pull it just long enough to secure it over the top of a dock piling. The shark lets go of the life raft then and swims off. Donald keeps running but realizes he is getting nowhere fast, and reaches out when he sees something to hold onto, but they turn out to be two of the lower teeth in the shark's mouth. When he comes to this realization, the music stops, and the shark's tongue summons him inside with a whistle. Back at the piling, Spike lifts the rubber over the top, and it snaps back at Donald, sending him through the shark's stomach and all the way through to the end of its tail, which takes the form of Donald's body. Donald reaches out and grabs other pilings in the water, and this snaps the shark backwards, smashing the big fish against the pilings and shooting Donald into the water. However, he is quickly surrounded once more by six dorsal fins.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RTc4T7Nfp4g/V8unf3uUo4I/AAAAAAAALSM/Wnh-EBCxSPc6ApAX_g5bKbfVcYhf12QqgCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_10_stretch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RTc4T7Nfp4g/V8unf3uUo4I/AAAAAAAALSM/Wnh-EBCxSPc6ApAX_g5bKbfVcYhf12QqgCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_10_stretch.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The sharks rear back and reach into the water and come out each pulling a section of the rubber life raft, with Donald still safely in the middle with his umbrella. "Take it easy, boys!" he begs, but when they each let go of their piece of raft at the same time, he is sent tumbling up into the air and then back down. As he nears the water toward the open jaws of one of the sharks, he grabs his umbrella and opens it, which allows him to slow his fall ever so slightly. The shark misses with his snap, and the force sends Donald upward again, and the duck start to blow quickly into the umbrella to hopefully keep him aloft a little more. But the umbrella fails him after only a few seconds, folding in on itself, and the poor duck falls back down straight towards the wide open, waiting jaws of the shark.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1v8IAVXC1Po/V8unfzOjdpI/AAAAAAAALSQ/sA8il4KwWRcvPY9ak0rq4wqjeVJHOcKnQCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_11_tail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1v8IAVXC1Po/V8unfzOjdpI/AAAAAAAALSQ/sA8il4KwWRcvPY9ak0rq4wqjeVJHOcKnQCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_11_tail.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Donald spins himself about and opens the umbrella inside the shark's mouth to prevent himself from being eaten. He is sent upward again, and when he comes back down, the shark takes another chomp, but Donald hides inside the bowl of the umbrella; another chomp, and Donald is wearing the umbrella like a pair of bat wings. He manages to stay aloft through another chomp, and Spike heads to the lifeguard stand. The bee watches through a spyglass as Donald flies off into the distance with the sextet of sharks still leaping and chomping at him. Spike has himself a belly full of buzzy bee-laughter. IRIS OUT.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PCKJ9Y3QyY4/V8unf5pBTEI/AAAAAAAALSU/L2WLOaFm_Rw0_Jwhfekp6zMYn_mjgJl5gCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_12_teamwork.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PCKJ9Y3QyY4/V8unf5pBTEI/AAAAAAAALSU/L2WLOaFm_Rw0_Jwhfekp6zMYn_mjgJl5gCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_12_teamwork.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is a fairly grim ending no matter how you slice it, I guess. Not that Donald is any real trouble, because he is Donald and he will get out of it eventually. But if you take it strictly as a story, I would guess that the punishment of potentially being devoured by six giant sharks far outweighs the crime of some light bullying at the beach. In this sense, Spike could be regarded as a major asshole. There is also the bee-duck dichotomy at play here. Spike is a bee, and most people, especially my wife, have no regard for bees, even cute ones drawn by the artists for worked for Walt Disney. Donald is a duck, and although he is portrayed quite often as a bully, a coward, a braggart, and a terrible uncle to his nephews, he is still Donald Duck and beloved by hundreds of millions of people the world over, including yours truly.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qICAjTIZhvw/V8ungEtTlAI/AAAAAAAALSY/ARRS5xFTgz4lsuTsPMM7y_l1kAV_ND9CQCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_13_gaping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qICAjTIZhvw/V8ungEtTlAI/AAAAAAAALSY/ARRS5xFTgz4lsuTsPMM7y_l1kAV_ND9CQCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_13_gaping.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And yet, Donald is a big asshole in this one. He often played a variant of the Ugly American in his films, and he is definitely that right here. He is the sort of oblivious cretin in this film that I cannot stand in real life, and so, just accepting Donald as an actor in this film playing a role and not as a symbol of anything in his own right, one could say his character rather deserves his fate for not just picking but stepping on the little guy the way that he did. He is the bully and oppressor, and this is the fate of the bully. On the other hand, and this is probably the way most people approach the film, no one really deserves such a cruel end, especially for some sand kicking.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jN08JEHV-HU/V8ungNOCaUI/AAAAAAAALSc/DZ248EC1_BgOeI0VNUIUbOdskFau2CKBwCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_14_wings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jN08JEHV-HU/V8ungNOCaUI/AAAAAAAALSc/DZ248EC1_BgOeI0VNUIUbOdskFau2CKBwCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_14_wings.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As for the shark scenes, until Saturday morning TV introduced the animated shark-starring shows <i>Jabberjaw</i> and <i>Misterjaw</i> on the same day on September 11, 1976 (and on my twelfth birthday, nonetheless), sharks had mostly been relegated to bit parts in animation. They were always waiting offshore anytime the actual star(s) of a cartoon set foot into or onto the water in a beach or seafaring setting. Most often they were used for menace, as is to be expected given their general public outlook upon them for centuries, though sometimes they could be used for more silly purposes. The use of the shark is hardly ever more than a sight gag or two, usually playing off another gag that leads to the shark, or in other circumstances, sharks might be used as the kept henchmen of a bigger villain (octopuses and gorillas also get these parts as well). And rarely, if ever, do the sharks in cartoons look anything close to real sharks. This was especially true in the earlier days of cinema, before we started to get real underwater looks at the life in the ocean.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DjbWN9lsZzk/V8ungUly7tI/AAAAAAAALSg/lf2YZFVBZF8jVXC4w_Q9T34Emq-6HG7kgCLcB/s1600/Bee_at_the_Beach_15_iris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DjbWN9lsZzk/V8ungUly7tI/AAAAAAAALSg/lf2YZFVBZF8jVXC4w_Q9T34Emq-6HG7kgCLcB/s320/Bee_at_the_Beach_15_iris.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But then, every once in a while, you can run into a cartoon with a shark (or sharks) involved in a more extended suite of gags, such as in <i>Bee at the Beach</i>, where they get a couple of minutes of screen time to mess around with Donald and Spike. Sure, they are still menacing and it is implied that they are capable of great danger and potential death, but they get to be funny as well. I quite like that the main shark gets to show that he is thinking about the best way to trap Donald when he pulls the rubber over the piling, and also gets a grandly comic moment when Donald is hiding on top of his head and the shark does a slow burn when he realizes where the duck is actually to be found. And for pure cartoon shark moments, I really enjoy the POV shot when Donald is falling towards the shark's gullet. I think it is one of the better shark moments in any theatrical short from the earlier days of animation. Just as the extended shark sequence in this film, while the creatures are still pretty far from looking like actual sharks, is one of the better and most fun examples of how to employ sharks in an animated short.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know, in fact, I am going to award them that duck dinner. I think these cartoon sharks worked hard for it and they deserve a fine fowl repast. Just as much as Donald, or at least the character he plays in this film, kind of deserves his fate for picking on the little guy.</span><br />
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-35666262960016447692016-08-16T15:30:00.000-07:002016-08-18T08:44:27.046-07:00Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (2016)<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tIwaCxmBo6k/V4o_difxB1I/AAAAAAAAKuE/T6S94oaSpVMSAVeIAxZtgL1wGboKYL-OgCLcB/s1600/sharknado-4-poster-key-art.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tIwaCxmBo6k/V4o_difxB1I/AAAAAAAAKuE/T6S94oaSpVMSAVeIAxZtgL1wGboKYL-OgCLcB/s320/sharknado-4-poster-key-art.jpg" width="227" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens </b><i>(2016)<br />
Dir.: Anthony C. Ferrante<br />TC4P Rating: 4/9<br />Species: great white shark, hammerheads, goblin shark, leopard sharks, many unidentified species, and a surprise species that I refuse to give away until a much later date.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>While <b><span style="color: #990000;">The Shark Film Office</span></b> was started way back in 2006, I really let it lay fallow for many years while I first concentrated on other sites, and then got sucked into a personal vortex of depression and dark thoughts of suicide (which are far more insidious than light, happy thoughts of suicide). Since I didn't finally get The Shark Film Office going full force until earlier this year, it was purely coincidence that I skipped over a particular phenomenon that is largely responsible for the absurd amount of low-budget, goofball shark films that are thrown at us today: the <i>Sharknado</i> series.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Premiering in 2013, and with a sequel released in each of the past three years, the first <i>Sharknado</i> film made directly for the Syfy Channel not only received surprisingly good ratings but erupted into a self-sustaining social media sharknado of its own. With each succeeding film in the series, the ratings and exposure of the brand in the public's eye have only gotten bigger and bigger, to the point that Syfy has seen fit over the past two years to devote an entire week of programming around stupid shark films. Dubbed <i>Sharknado Week</i>, this form of flick-watching maelstrom is only for those who either have no further IQ points to drop on their way through roughly thirty poorly made monster movies of mostly recent vintage or for the hardcore shark film fanatic who doesn't mind if a film is missing any combination of things like quality, style, or consistency in story or acting or pacing or logic or special effects or tone or common sense or cinematography or... or... or... You could name nearly any form of cinematic category for which awards of excellence are given, but <i>Sharknado Week</i> is not the place for it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But since I am the sort who laments the loss of movie matinee or late night monster movie-style shows built around a particular theme, I am always eager to jump on opportunities like this. (Unless it is something dopey like Hallmark Channel and their "Christmas in July" bullshit. Sure, you and your grandma might love it; it's not my ball o' yarn waiting to be knitted by a cozy fire and a cup o' tea...) Monster movies are not even a guilty pleasure with me. I don't believe in guilty pleasures. I wear, listen to, watch, read, write, eat, and say what I love proudly. Sure, I wish there were smarter shark movies out there. There are only a couple of them, and even they are not immune. Even the most vaunted of movies can be crushed by pure logic if one puts even the slightest effort to it. But let's get to the point at hand: I love sharks. I love shark movies. And in the void of having few smart shark movies to love, I have no real choice but to learn to love big, stupid shark movies like the big, stupid shark movies shown during <i>Sharknado Week</i>. Hey, women have had to deal with brutish, Neanderthal-like, testosterone-poisoned men for ages; I could learn to love big, stupid shark movies. And I did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I had thought briefly, when I watched the second and third installments in the <i>Sharknado</i> series over the past couple of years, that maybe the time was right to jump back into reviewing shark movies. This is regardless of how I felt about the films (and believe me, I don't think they are masterpieces of any stripe but one, though it is a significant one). I was recognizing slowly, with so many shark films being released in recent years, that perhaps there was merit in the idea that the website I had started in jest in 2006 could actually be sustained now with enough updates and reviews over a prolonged period. But again – and then once again the following summer – I let the mood slip, and I descended back inside my cruel self and that crushing depression.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's cut to now... The Shark Film Office is fully charged and an ongoing presence in my daily life. I have plans to make the site even more robust as a destination for both shark and film enthusiasts, but that is still down the road a piece. For now, we have the reason why you have may decided to stop to check out this review, the final premiere film of </span><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week 2016</b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">... </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens</b></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sure, this film has what is arguably the most opportunistically brilliant title in made-for-television film history. I don't know at which point in co-creators Anthony C. Ferrante and Thunder Levin's journey they decided upon adding a lifeline to the most recent <i>Star Wars</i> title, but since the <i>Sharknado</i> series was already rife with references to that other astronomically bigger film series, going with <i>The 4th Awakens</i> was a truly appropriate (and silly) choice. It does sometimes seem that this series is almost as much <i>Star Wars</i> parody as it is <i>Jaws</i> (especially the further it goes along), so why not? It should be pointed out though, that the <i>Sharknado</i> films actually come closer in their continuing characterizations of Fin, April, and Nova to carrying on with the <i>Star Wars</i>-slash-Joseph Campbell "Hero's Journey" myth-making ethos than in any true connection to the original <i>Jaws</i>, apart from spouting character names and hanging around Universal Studios in Florida in the third <i>Sharknado</i> entry (among a raft of superficial bits that touch on <i>Jaws</i> in that film).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Star Wars</i>, though, seems to be the solid focus this time, and sure enough, <i>The 4th Awakens</i> opens with a text crawl over a field of stars that to today's audiences can only be recognized in conjunction with Death Stars, lightsabers, and Greedos that may or may not have shot first. (He did...) This <i>Sharknado</i> episode starts out five years in the future (though it has only been a single year since the last film came out), and thus, it has also been five years since the last sharknado ravaged the earth. This is thanks to the <i>Sharknado</i>-verse's version of Elon Musk, Aston Reynolds (Tommy Davidson), whose company Astro-X has made the <i>Sharknado</i>-verse's squishy science concepts work in such a way that he was able to create cheap and clean reactors that allowed him to stabilize the atmosphere and prevent the formation of all tornadoes in the world. This ushered in a new golden age of peace, at least according to Astro-X's weird, promotional advertising, which includes footage of hero Fin Shepard's astronaut father, Col. Gilbert Shepard (David Hasselhoff) defeating sharks (which look rather rubbery) on the moon (where he was stranded mysteriously to most likely die at the end of the third film, you may recall). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Aston Reynolds announces a new theme hotel, Shark World, in Las Vegas, where Fin Shepard has been, naturally, invited to the grand opening. Fin has retired from the rush of public fame to a small farm in Kansas, named April's Acres after his late wife (Tara Reid), seemingly crushed by falling debris from a space shuttle after both she and Fin not only survived falls from orbit inside the bodies of separate great white sharks, but after she also gave birth to their son Gil. (Note: she cut her way out of the shark's body with the chainsaw apparatus in her mechanical left hand after giving birth inside the shark.) Leaving his mother (Cheryl Tiegs) and little Gil behind, Fin heada to Vegas with his younger cousin Gemini, who is intent on making sure Fin has a good time for the first time since April died. (Damn it, I am winded after just two paragraphs of exposition.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fin and Gemini arrive in Vegas and find out almost immediately that their Uber driver is none other than Carrot Top, playing himself in exactly as annoying a fashion as you would expect. It is the first of about four thousand celebrity cameos in the film, though it becomes awfully tough at times to tell the cameo roles from the actual supporting ones. It seems that everyone likes to appear in these films (hey, if I was a celebrity, why not?), and it also seems that a lot of people do it just to get killed by a shark onscreen. There are also a certain proportion of the celebs that seem to get a kick out of defeating the sharks, and if there is anything of an idealogical break within the shark film universe, I guess it would be this "kill or be killed" divergence. (Apart from real world ecological and biological concerns, that is...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The cameos are so fast and so furious that you almost expect cast members from <i>The Fast and the Furious</i> franchise to show up in the film. But no... we get Wayne Newton instead, singing the <i>Sharknado</i> theme song in a lounge act. We see Motley Crue's Vince Neil hitting on girls and playing craps. I did a double take to make sure if that was really Susan Anton still gettin' it done while playing the slot machines, and I was given a solid reminder while Adrian Zmed's acting career went to shit so fast when he mugs it up horribly. Dr. Drew Pinsky calls a wedding ceremony for Fin's son in an airplane, while MMA fighter Frank Mir, Rascal Flatts bassist Jay DeMarcus, and Slipknot singer Corey Taylor work various jobs at the casino. Oh, yeah... and there are Chippendale's dancers as well. This is just one scene, mind you, before the title for the film has even shown up. There are many, many others, and I don't even know who half the people are, and had to spend a lot of time looking up a lot of the more current people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then the sharknado hits, and already we get signs that <i>Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens</i> is going to be, at least on paper, decidedly different than the three films that came before it. How do you keep the series fresh from film to film, once the simple novelty of a tornado wears off? The series started off relatively small: in the first film, which seems quaint in its simplicity now, a tornado starts in the Pacific Ocean, grabs a bunch of sharks (and seemingly no other ocean life whatsoever... just sharks, who, you know, all hang out right at the surface), and then drops them first at a Southern California beach and then slowly sprinkles them on a deadly path throughout the Los Angeles area. The film is rather generic up until the finale, when Fin cuts his way out of a great white and emerges a full-blown, chainsaw-wielding hero. <i>Sharknado 2</i> switched coasts easily enough, bringing the shark-hating game to New York and <i>The Today Show</i>, and opening up the series to the instant cameo game. With Fin already released and April on her way to getting a bionic hand, the action began to get a little wilder, the comedy much broader than before, and the freedom of the overarching concept a bit more imaginative. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Sharknado 3: Oh, Hell No!</i> started out with an insane scenario in Washington, D.C., where it was proposed that icky living skeleton Ann Coulter had become Vice President. Enough said. Shut down the government. America was done. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Seriously though, it was another massive leap away from reality that upped the ante closer to true Tex Avery-style cartoon physics beyond what had been approached in the series to that point, and set the stage for the rest of the film, where twin sharknadoes ravaged New York (again, and seen mostly in television footage) and in Florida, which is mostly so that NASA and space shuttles could be worked into the mix, so that sharks could eventually end up in outer space and somehow not be affected by the forces that would kill almost any living thing within a minute or so. And have you believe in every minute of it whether your working, logical mind resisted the notion or not. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When Frankie Muniz lost all four limbs in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado 3</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, by one flying shark attacking him after another, while trying to climb to the top of an RV to push a self-destruct button (a feat he finally had to achieve with his chin since he had been left with naught but a head and a torso), I thought the Syfy Channel had reached the true limits of its cartoonishness. For anyone, including myself, who had denigrated the output of the channel's hired studios for never trying hard or aiming high enough, here at least was some proof that someone at the Asylum had some Pythonesque awareness for just how silly everything was in their endeavors, and it smacked of measurable pride in that silliness. And then the rest of the film: raining sharks on the shuttle launchpad, the space fight against sharks, getting purposefully swallowed by a great white thinking one's wife is inside the shark already, punching one's way out of a reentry-burning shark to ripcord a parachute through the punched-out hole, and then the giving birth of a baby inside a shark... man, did Dali come back from the grave?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And now with sharknadoes supposedly vanquished from the earth, where can <i>Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens</i> go with the concept? Well, when in Vegas, use the local resources. In this case, sand. A sandstorm whips up, and it would be just an ordinary one, I guess, but as providence would have it, some dumbass entrepreneur decided to build a theme casino based around sharks in the area. AND THE GRAND OPENING IS THAT VERY NIGHT. And it just happens to have a massive tank containing millions of gallons of water and a butt-ton of sharks built right into the front of the hotel. In no time at all, the sandstorm hits the hotel, and the sharks are sucked up into the storm. The world is suddenly, and for mysterious reasons that will never really get sorted out in this film, beset by the first sharknado in five years. (No one really considers how the sharks survive in the sandnado, or why the sandnado doesn't turn into a "mudnado" when any of the water from the tank that gets sucked up with the sharks hits it. Frankly, you think it would be the end of it. <i>Mud Puddle</i> doesn't sound like the greatest concept for a monster film.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The sharknado will attack the casino and make short work of most of the celebrities, though some, like one of the Chippendale's dancers, is able to repel a shark with his boner. The film does make use of certain Vegas landmarks, like the fake Empire State Building, and a truly goofy sequence where Fin and Gemini commandeer the pirate ship outside of Treasure Island when the sharknado creates a flood from the water from the giant shark tank. There is great joy when not only Zmed gets it (goblin shark to the chest) but also Todd Chrisley (eaten by a large shark after accusing his wife of stuffing herself at the buffet). I also enjoyed the fact that when David Faustino shows up, Fin calls him "Bud" automatically, even though he is just playing some guy, and not necessarily Bud Bundy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After the opening Vegas sequence, we finally get to the the title twenty minutes into the film, and shortly after we find out April is still alive, saved by her mad scientist father (Gary Busey) and turned into a full cyborg, capable of not just superhuman speed and strength, but also flight. Her mechanical weapons from the third film have been replaced with laser ones, like a chainsaw and a lightsaber. The story ambles on, now that a sandstorm full of sharks has been established as possible, into a ceaseless progression through a fleet of storms, each one with an added elemental change to it, as it makes its way across the country. We next get a "bouldernado," because the sandstorm hits some mountains and the rocks make the structure of the storm change. Later, when it hits an oilfield in Texas, it turns into an "oilnado"; when the oil catches flame, it becomes a "firenado". When the storm hits electrical wires, it becomes an "electronado". Other storms will hit other cities like San Francisco and Seattle, and get names like a "hailnado" and a "lightningnado," though each time, the tornadoes come complete with their own sharks, because, well, why not? In the midwest, the main sharknado eventually hits Tornado Alley and a cattle farm, and turns into a "cownado," which is reported on by a chopper reporter played by Gilbert Gottfried. I am disappointed that the cownado doesn't happen immediately after the firenado, so that we could actually get a "BBQnado." That would have been something to see, and something they could have teamed up with a big name fast food sponsor for some wily advertising.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are more storm changes and more pinpoints on the map ahead, but I am going to stop here, because I really just wanted to set the film up and didn't want to give a full plot synopsis. Rest assured, this is just the tip of the sharknado, and I the biggest, most wacky stuff is still to come. While I normally don't care about giving away that stupid "S" word (you know, sp-- sp-- Voldem-- spoilers...), there are a couple of insane scenes late in the film that I would rather you see for yourself, unencumbered by my comments. I want you to have the experience of dealing with this film on your own. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I might even suggest making this your first <i>Sharknado</i> film, even, and especially, if you haven't watched any of the other films in the series. More so than in the other films, t</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">here are a zillion little goofy touches to this film. Most of them, if you think about them for even two seconds, makes your head want to explode but also kind of makes you smile at the same time. It's a far different sensation from most other Syfy product, where maybe you will tune in because the concept sounds kind of cool but it might be lame in how they ultimately do it. Or you hope it might be kind of good but the monster looks stupid when you get there. But the one thing you don't do with most Syfy films is think about them at all when they are over. You can't do that with the <i>Sharknado</i> films. Especially these last two films. They have embraced the gonzo. They might still be aiming for the lowest common denominator, and the bulk of their fans might be voting for Trump on purpose, but the Asylum has handled their audience brilliantly from a marketing angle, and yet has continued to actually make the films more entertaining as they go along. This is something you do not normally see in movie series, which tend to get progressively worse or at least grow stagnant as time passes. (I can't speak the <i>Fast and the Furious</i> franchise, for I have only ever seen <i>Fast Five</i>.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As performances go, you don't really come to these things for the acting. I will say that signing up for this series is going to turn out to be the smartest move that both Ian Ziering and Tara Reid have ever made career-wise, especially Reid. And I love that they stole the old <i>Gigantor</i> theme and had her do her cyborg workout to an updated <i>Sharknado</i> theme based on it. With acting out of the way, I can return to those cameos, because there are a zillion of them. My personal favorite is Caroline Williams showing up as Stretch from <i>Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2</i>. Sure, she brings the vile Dog the Bounty Hunter with her (playing her brother, Chop Top, another <i>Saw 2</i> reference), but no matter. When she yells, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It wouldn't be Texas without a Chainsaw Massacre!" I had to agree. I also liked that they had another brother sitting in a chair who went by the name Gunnar (and if you don't get that reference, you need to look it up).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is a brief appearance by Fin's pal Colton (Steve "The Gute" Gutenberg from the <i>Lavalantula</i> series, in which Fin has also guested), who brings in my other favorite cameo of the film, that of Christine. That's right... the murderous car from the John Carpenter film based on the Stephen King novel. I don't know why Fin doesn't just drive Christine straight into the sharknado in whatever form it was in at that point (I think it was still cownado), because if anything can handle a storm like that, it's Christine. Regardless, it's a weird little, out of left field cameo – more than a little gratuitous – but I still liked it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My least favorite cameo, besides Zmed, is by the atrocious Stacey Dash, who overacts so wildly that you can't imagine she was given any direction at all in her performance. True, she is playing someone who is, for no real given reason whatsoever since her character has not existed before this point, completely mistrusting of Fin and is on a personal crusade to stop him (she plays the mayor of Chicago). Her character, from her first appearance forward is so obviously supposed to be based on the Wicked Witch of the East from <i>The Wizard of Oz</i> that you know instantly where her story arc is taking her, and if you don't know where that is at first, all you have to do is then notice the striped leggings she wears throughout the film and have any sense of pop culture history at all to be in the know. I actually quite love her story arc within the film, and it is quite apropos that her character behave this way (it may even be based somewhat on her recent public persona on the right wing news media, but I can't confirm that), it's just that her performance in the role is bad. Period.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I mentioned the opening up of cartoon physics within the world of <i>Sharknado</i> earlier on, and I wanted to expand on that briefly. With the development of the Fin character from mere luckless guy who just wants to save his family in the first film to burgeoning folk hero in the second film to savior of the world by the end of the third film, Fin has (barring the body changing cybernetics that April has undergone) blossomed into an immensely powerful athlete for a guy with a fairly slight, wiry frame. True, his character is a former professional surfer, and as such, we have to trust that he is, especially as a guy who is slightly older than me in real life (at 52), still in pretty decent shape physically, the evidence in the films suggest that in the heat of battle, he is the match of superheroes in many other film series.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In this film alone, in the train sequence in the desert as they are leaving Las Vegas after the sandstorm transforms into a bouldernado, he and his son Matt are attempting to save the passengers by herding them to the front of the old train while pulling the pins out of all the cars at the back of the train. (Why they don't just pull one pin and detach the bulk of the train all at once, I don't know; not sure what the reasoning behind any of this was.) Regardless, Fin climbs to the top of the train at one point and has what is easily at least a 2,500 to 3,000 pound great white shark fall towards him from the sky. This much weight, plus the shark has somehow survived numerous small boulders getting embedded in its tough hide, so it probably weighs even more. Fin catches the shark with no problem, and then wrestles with it for close to thirty seconds, avoiding the snap of its jaws, until the shark's head is easily sliced off by a lowering crossing bar. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In a scene later in a Kansas park, a lady being menaced on a bench is aided when Fin grabs a twelve-foot shark, which probably weighs at least eight hundred pounds or so, and swings it easily against a light pole, rendering it to dust in seconds. A little bit later, in Cawker City, Kansas, Fin uses the resources at hand – the biggest ball of twine in the world (or one of them, anyway) – to handily wrap up about a dozen sharks completely in no time at all, a feat which would take a good long while for even many people to do. It seems that as the series progresses, Fin is taking on Herculean strength and stamina when the moment calls for it, and I have to wonder if we will get an entry in the series where we do find out that he really is the son of an ancient god like Zeus or, given his surfing background, Poseidon/Neptune.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then there is a big spoiler scene near the end of the film. One that I can't talk about. One with a thing and a thing and a thing that does a thing and then there is this thing that does this thing. See? Can't talk about it, but that's not really the point. The point is, in watching the scene, I was reminded of those cartoon physics I mentioned and how I was marveling that it took so long for this series to truly embrace them. Here in the fourth film, in this particular sequence near the end of the film, if you drew the entire scene on sequentially arranged paper and filmed them one after the other frame by frame, and then showed me that film, it would be likely that I would have thought the scene came from a late '40s Tex Avery cartoon, a la <i>King-Size Canary</i> or <i>The Cat That Hated People</i>. It's a wonderful gag that has a funny set-up, gets funnier, takes it to its logical endpoint, and then comes up with a whamm-o, unexpected punchline that I did not see coming at all. By the big finale of <i>Sharknado: The 4th Awakens</i>, I can no longer tell the difference between a sharknado and an animated cartoon, and in many respects, I have to tip my hat to Anthony C. Ferrante and his team for getting me to that point. In at least that one sequence in this film, they have achieved a bravura modern cartoon moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I just wish it were all that great. For everything that I appreciate in these films (and I appreciate more each time, the sillier they get), they are still aiming for low-hanging fruit most of the time. Yes, these films seem to be too blatantly ridiculous to take seriously for even a second, but that doesn't mean there isn't a subtext that can crawl out of the absurdity and leave a sour taste in one's mouth when all the laughter has died down. For everything loony in these films, there are a couple of messages that come through clear from the <i>Sharknado</i> films. One is: sharks suck. It is said by Fin's son late in this film, and Fin himself says in earlier films how much he hates sharks, because after all, he keeps ended up in scenarios where he has to personally kills scores of them on mostly dry land, and some of them kill or try to kill his friends and family members. I understand that from the point of view of a character's motivation, but let's look at it from an audience's, especially the mostly younger audience that is seeing these films and likely has little other context for how to approach sharks in their lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, this is a website about shark films, and yes, the vast majority, in fact, about the high-ninety-something percent of these films feature sharks as villainous figures, so it may be unfair to look at a film series as outright goofy as the <i>Sharknado</i> series and blame it for demonizing sharks when the sharks are so cartoonish in most cases that they can't even be identified by species in most scenes. But there is another factor at play here: the 'nado part of the title. A big chunk of these films is based around the notion that the increase in the sharknadoes in the world is due to global warming, and I am fine with the concept of global warming as a villain. Because it is. But we are, ultimately, the primary creator of that villain. The problem in the series is sharks are, to this point at least (though it looks like it might be building to someone behind the scenes), the big villains in this series, and despite all of their mayhem and killing, they take a beating. Actually, because of all their mayhem and killing, they take an even worse beating, because if they weren't invading our cities and eating people, then we wouldn't notice them so much. So their public image, even in an extremely exaggerated, totally unrealistic setting, gets even worse. In the real world where we have to fight for the very notion in many places that sharks even deserve to live or even swim alongside us, it's an image that even the most cartoonish hijinks makes hard to erase.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then there are the idiots out there, the ones who don't – or can't – connect the dots properly between things. It's bad enough that there is already wacky pseudoscience floating around these films, but it's even worse when we have a world filled of actual science deniers who don't see the link between man's activities and the destruction of natural environments on this planet, be they ocean, forest, jungle, or beach. Or ice caps and glaciers. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am not saying that the <i>Sharknado</i> films blame global warming on sharks, but I can see the jump in logic someone can make watching the films, that would leave them to believe that "sharks are behind this global warmin' conspiracy."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Man, I don't think Ferrante and Levin mean anything by their films. I think they had a silly idea that they thought could make some green, they pitched it to the network, and then ran with it. It is clear from the first film that they had no idea it was going to blow up the way it did, and that first film plays so straight as to be almost unrecognizable from the rest of the films in the series. In fact, it looks like the type of film the other sequels in the series are spoofing. It is also clear from the way that they have crammed their films full of <i>Jaws</i> references, and even in the way that Ferrante and former <i>Brady Bunch</i> actor Robbie Rist have named their band Quint (who play most of the songs of the soundtrack including the theme song), that the creators are big shark fans themselves. So, I know that the lip service given to shark hatred in the films is really only coming from the characters, but I really wish they would balance it out at some point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Which is why it is time for the <i>Sharknado</i> series to embrace a <i>Jaws</i> reference that they have sorely neglected through four films. It is a standard stock character in almost any shark film worth its saltwater, and it is amazing to me that they haven't had one yet in the series. A perfect character to come in, be a spokesperson for the sharks, tell everybody why they are wrong – SO WRONG – about them, show everyone the best way to deal with them, make everybody think that "hey, this guy/girl might be on to something"... and then he/she gets killed late in the second act. A</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> marine biologist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anthony C. Ferrante and Thunder Levin, the ball is in your court...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">RTJ</span><br />
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-87929927965348452182016-08-07T13:30:00.000-07:002016-08-17T17:55:55.084-07:00Ozark Sharks (2016)<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7m9t-849ZNI/V6IcgjJqrLI/AAAAAAAAK70/ISyrG5S0v20PVgZc9b6t3b10Cs-8P2nPwCLcB/s1600/OzarkSharks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7m9t-849ZNI/V6IcgjJqrLI/AAAAAAAAK70/ISyrG5S0v20PVgZc9b6t3b10Cs-8P2nPwCLcB/s320/OzarkSharks.jpg" width="210" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Ozark Sharks</b> <i>(2016)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: Misty Talley</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 3/9</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Species: Bull sharks.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Backwoods terror is a mainstay category within the horror genre, and so I find it unsurprising that attacks of the rural variety should start occurring in the shark film subgenre as well. There have already been any number of more sea monster-oriented films taking place out in the country, and snakehead films have been popular in recent years as well. And, of course, gator and croc films have always been in abundance, and those, naturally, come with the requisite amount of stock hillbilly characters ready to whoop it up and have their shotgun-bearing arms bitten off or to suddenly get eaten after they have decided to dynamite the swamp to "git whatever 'tis out there that ate ol' Cooter las' night!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, when I heard there was a film being premiered during this year's Sharknado Week on the Syfy Channel a couple of weeks ago called Ozark Sharks, I thought that I knew what I was getting. I figured immediately it was going to be exactly like one of those gator films, only with sharks. I thought it would just be rednecks getting all fired up about killing a bunch of sharks, only to end up on the smorgasbord one after the other because each one does something more inane than the last one. Surprisingly, it wasn't that at all. Once more, because it was an original Syfy film, it wasn't the least bit original in any respect, but it also wasn't the south-bashing exercise I thought it might be.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EVdrdApALZ0/V6edn0ORKSI/AAAAAAAALAo/GgHQxEHRLa8gqU0L4XJxhSADuGttJLGRgCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_13_molly_woolf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EVdrdApALZ0/V6edn0ORKSI/AAAAAAAALAo/GgHQxEHRLa8gqU0L4XJxhSADuGttJLGRgCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_13_molly_woolf.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not that it actually was filmed in the Ozarks though... the family unit that will make up the core of main characters in the film – middle-age parents Rick and Diane (Michael Papajohn and Laura Cayouette), daughter Molly (Allisyn Ashley Arm) and son Harrison (Dave Davis) –may decide to head to the Ozarks (against the kids' wishes, mind you) for a family vacation, but everything that takes place was filmed in Louisiana, quite far from the area Ozark Mountain region mostly found in upper Arkansas and lower Missouri. No matter... I guess southern is what the filmmakers want, and Louisiana is still southern to them. Besides, except for a single character, this film could take place practically anywhere that a bull shark could access via a river system, in the north, south, east, or west. The region really doesn't matter at all, but that title might bring people to watch it.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5_-qC6skXEM/V6eMvfSNl0I/AAAAAAAALAg/kR6FBv4bmk8sVWrrVv-1qs7JNXbp1tcBwCPcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_02_Dawn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5_-qC6skXEM/V6eMvfSNl0I/AAAAAAAALAg/kR6FBv4bmk8sVWrrVv-1qs7JNXbp1tcBwCPcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_02_Dawn.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i style="font-size: 12.8px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even though her character's name is Dawn,<br />I steadfastly refuse to make a joke about<br />being "up at the crack of" her...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And those bull sharks I just mentioned... </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ozark Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is another film in the currently popular bull shark trend in shark films. I reviewed </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Shark Lake</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> not too long ago, and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was the second film premiered during this year's </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. It seems the little buggers are swimming all around America's river system, and this time, they have sneaked their way upriver to a small resort in the Ozark Mountains, where they are really pissed off about something that will go pretty much unresolved during the course of the film. Regardless, the bulls start killing people at a pretty reckless pace, starting with a quartet of young adults out for a flirtatious good time in the shallow water of the river. One girl, who actually gets a name – Dawn – because she will figure into the plot later, sees a shark fin in the water to her surprise, but it disappears so quickly, she can't believe what she saw. She steps forward and then turns to talk to the other girl, but her friend is gone. She turns back to the guy she is with, and he is thrashing in the water and then disappears. The fourth member of their party, the other guy, had gone back to shore for something, but runs back when he realizes there is trouble. He, too, is taken under, and Dawn swims across the river, and clambers up onto an overhanding tree that has fallen over the river.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0GdgHS3Oi9s/V6eMX5ISfeI/AAAAAAAALAM/F-CsvEImZNs5D74dI_Yfk5ALKSrFAcjNQCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_08_selfie_fin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0GdgHS3Oi9s/V6eMX5ISfeI/AAAAAAAALAM/F-CsvEImZNs5D74dI_Yfk5ALKSrFAcjNQCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_08_selfie_fin.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not that I ever approve of the use of either, what these <br />ladies need here is a combined "selfie shark stick"...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Later, two other girls are sunbathing on floating chairs. The hotter of the two girls (played by Becky Andrews, who had much more screen time as Bridgette in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Zombie Shark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, by the same director a year earlier) takes a selfie of the pair. As they check out the resulting photo, they are both so vain that they fail to notice the very clear shark fin that has photobombed them in the background. (It's actually the first solid joke in the film, and there a few of them; </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ozark Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has a decent sense of humor about itself.) Soon enough, the second girl has been eaten, leaving just a bloody, shredded rubber chair floating on the water. The first girl has enough sense to start paddling away but it is already too late for her.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7unvU8jEM-U/V6eKJlvkONI/AAAAAAAAK_k/xn4d6DG7wSAcARHOQnICa6L4QMxU27X9ACLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_16_harpoontruck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7unvU8jEM-U/V6eKJlvkONI/AAAAAAAAK_k/xn4d6DG7wSAcARHOQnICa6L4QMxU27X9ACLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_16_harpoontruck.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the family arrives at the resort, they have also brought the family pet: the kids' grandma, a sweet but sly old lady. Each member of the family has to deal with meeting the seemingly stubborn bait and rental shop owner named Jones (Thomas Francis Murphy), but there is far more to this character than meets the eye. When the shark attacks start, we learn that Jones not only has, completely coincidentally, a harpoon gun hard-mounted to the back of his pickup truck, but is a full-on survivalist who has a workshop which is not only stocked with nearly every known weapon on the market – black or otherwise – but is fond of creating his own variations on those weapons, such as a crossbow rifle that shoots weaponized deer antlers.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EcLGgr8aBD8/V6eKJr1dXaI/AAAAAAAAK_s/jFmhkqxxBTs4wkQozp2lYaGJM-KLerUigCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_14_grandma_grabbed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EcLGgr8aBD8/V6eKJr1dXaI/AAAAAAAAK_s/jFmhkqxxBTs4wkQozp2lYaGJM-KLerUigCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_14_grandma_grabbed.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You thought the grandma in Dante's Peak had it bad...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shortly after Molly's no-account doofus of a boyfriend, Curtis (Ross Britz), arrives, Grandma meets her fate in a humorous attack where a bull shark leaps out of the water and latches onto the front half of her body with its mouth, while Molly, who up to this point has been reading Virginia Woolf's <i>Mrs. Dalloway</i> endlessly, watches helplessly from the shore. When she runs and gets Harrison, he doesn't believe her and wades across the river to retrieve his Grandma's hat. The shark attacks, and Harrison is only saved at the last minute by a shot from Jones' rifle. Jones, like many such surprising heroes in these films, comes ready with quips for all occasions: </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Not a good day to go skinny-dipping." </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Realizing that something strange is going on in the water around the resort, the romantically unlucky Harrison remembers that his parents went out canoeing as soon as they arrived and he heads downriver to find them. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eventually, Harrison will run into and clumsily rescue the still stranded and starving Dawn from her perch on the fallen tree, and bring her back to the resort and into the family's new vacation plan: fighting bull sharks.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N_T3uNo-e5A/V6eKKQFsiTI/AAAAAAAAK_0/1L04mLApp-0xrDHJIktj3mWbBu4YdLEswCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_24_fingers_missing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N_T3uNo-e5A/V6eKKQFsiTI/AAAAAAAAK_0/1L04mLApp-0xrDHJIktj3mWbBu4YdLEswCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_24_fingers_missing.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Alright, I'm gonna count to two and three-quarters..."</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The remaining hour of <i>Ozark Sharks</i> is a gradually escalating battle against sharks that seem to get smarter, bolder, and even more athletic as the film progresses. Mom and dad will be found, and despite a certain physical setback or two (that I can count on three fingers; just don't look to the right of this paragraph), they will join and prove surprisingly resourceful in the fight against the finny fiends. Curtis will be frustrated endlessly at Jones' constant refusal at giving him anything more in the weapons department to use against the sharks than a hand grenade, even though the arsenal in the workshop at Jones' house is formidable across the board, to say the least. </span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TUJjwo4iBjk/V6eKKE1GgEI/AAAAAAAAK_w/guATWylfDR0vxE_isWoQDRc7vCoXhVx3wCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_19_big_betty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TUJjwo4iBjk/V6eKKE1GgEI/AAAAAAAAK_w/guATWylfDR0vxE_isWoQDRc7vCoXhVx3wCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_19_big_betty.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For what is supposed to be a popular working resort, we get very little sense that anybody is visiting the area, apart from the six people attacked at the beginning of the film. There is a big fireworks festival in the final third of the film, but a lot of the people there are supposed to be townies, and even that party seems to have about twenty people at it. So where are the other tourists at the resort? Once again, minuscule budgets can destroy the integrity of a film's atmosphere in many ways, but the careful staging of well-timed extras can help avoid the feeling of a too-empty scene or three. Buy a few lunches, people. It's not <i>that</i> expensive.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yKDUHJJjH9g/V6ednxtqoPI/AAAAAAAALAs/fwWiJL8n73YjJ8BttxZf4QMbJjHzcHDswCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_10_mom_and_dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yKDUHJJjH9g/V6ednxtqoPI/AAAAAAAALAs/fwWiJL8n73YjJ8BttxZf4QMbJjHzcHDswCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_10_mom_and_dad.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What <i>Ozark Sharks</i> has going for it, though, is humor and a game cast. Healthy doses of both. The nice interplay between the cast playing the family is established early on with some scenes at their home before the trip, and it was nice that we didn't get the usual "bickering while on the road trip" stuff we often get in the horror films when people who don't actually like each other at all are forced to spend time together. While many of the actors have seen time in multiple variations within the shark and monster film genre in recent years, I found it interesting to note that at least of the actors appeared in separate episodes within the original season of <i>True Detective</i> (itself filmed mostly in Louisiana). One actress (Cayouette) has also worked twice with Tarantino, and most have a wide variety of credits on their resumes, in addition to getting regular work in Syfy films. Gotta make some spending dough, people; it's called being a working actor. You do what you gotta do.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6VTKxqRb0Vg/V6eKKW8ds_I/AAAAAAAAK_4/aRNWioeZRFouWXBkF1sqHkhi2n6j_gs4QCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_21_shark_tag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6VTKxqRb0Vg/V6eKKW8ds_I/AAAAAAAAK_4/aRNWioeZRFouWXBkF1sqHkhi2n6j_gs4QCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_21_shark_tag.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I particularly enjoyed a scene in the workshop when they are coming up with weapons to use and Curtis notices a bear trap, but realizes that they can't use it because it says "bear" on it. Jones grabs a piece of duct tape, spreads it on the trap, and then uses a Sharpie to write "shark" on it. The film also gets in on the Shark Film Drinking Game by coming up with a variation on a famous line from <i>Jaws</i>. When Jones kills one bull shark in the river, and then they suddenly count six more sharks swimming past them, he mutters, "We're gonna need a BIGGER EVERYTHING!" Which is probably about as big as that line is going to ever get ultimately. There is also the most inventive use of a wood chipper since Fargo hit theatres, which has a payoff that I was not expecting in the least. </span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bXigbJ4qYm0/V6eKKzc7XCI/AAAAAAAALAA/_rDzxcYsjMkSMvvVyezjZLcTLU7oSiwigCLcB/s1600/Ozark_Sharks_2016_44_shark_chipper_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bXigbJ4qYm0/V6eKKzc7XCI/AAAAAAAALAA/_rDzxcYsjMkSMvvVyezjZLcTLU7oSiwigCLcB/s320/Ozark_Sharks_2016_44_shark_chipper_2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But <i>Jaws</i> is not the only famous shark film referenced. I have noticed recently that a new trend has started to occur in shark films: variations on the Samuel L. Jackson death from <i>Deep Blue Sea</i>. You know the one: the scene in the shark lab where he talks and talks and talks, doing his patented, inspirational "not gonna take it," "had it up to here" patter, where he says directly "Enough!! We're not gonna fight anymore! We're gonna pull together and seal off this pooooooolll---!!!" and then a giant, mutated shark jumps up, grabs him, and chomps him down its gullet. It's a super famous scene, easily one of the most famous scenes ever in a shark movie, and arguably the biggest reason <i>Deep Blue Sea</i> is remembered today. <i>Ozark Sharks</i> has a smaller, more quiet variant on it involving one of its characters, which plays in a very similar way for the viewer. Which character? I won't say. But I did need to make mention of it, because I have already seen it happen in another film recently (not necessarily a shark film) and I am fairly certain the trend is going to become a more common occurrence in years to come. The scene here doesn't work on the same level because none of the actors in <i>Ozark Sharks</i> are famous on any measurable level except perhaps a local one. The success of the Jackson scene is only because it happens to the universally beloved Sam Jackson and also because it happens so unexpectedly early in that film, in the same way that Hitchcock made a terrible thing happen to Miss Janet Leigh so quickly in <i>Psycho</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeah, <i>Ozark Sharks</i> is completely ridiculous. All of these films are ridiculous. You know what shark film isn't ridiculous? A shark film where a shark swims around, eats some fish, perhaps a sea lion or seal, maybe somebody overreacts because a shark fin is in the water, and then everyone goes home because, hey, sharks live in the water, and that's the way life is. But that's a pretty fucking, boring movie. Or at least, it's a very basic, no frills documentary. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And you can't show that movie on the Syfy Channel. You need to have a film with crazy ass bull sharks that have swum upriver to the Ozark Mountains that start chomping on a family just because <b><span style="color: red;"><i>SHARKS</i></span></b><span style="color: red;"><b>.</b></span> And then you need an enraged teenager to start picking up oversized weaponry and going hog wild on the sharks because <b><span style="color: red;"><i>that's what teenagers do when their grandmothers are eaten headfirst and other sad stuff happens that I can't give away without spoiling the film for you even though I often spoil stuff about films in other reviews but I am being nice this time.</i></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">See? You can sell that movie. And somebody did. It's called <i>Ozark Sharks</i>. It's not good, but it's a little funny, some of it intentionally. And it has sharks. And Thomas Francis Murphy. He's good in it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-10372168844126633342016-08-04T14:00:00.000-07:002016-08-18T08:51:34.057-07:00Planet of the Sharks (2016)<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g7NDTD7N4Z0/V5Uhz7Zb36I/AAAAAAAAK1M/rzJA4TQVFpQwq_fQOc0WOcewGwDLga8eQCLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g7NDTD7N4Z0/V5Uhz7Zb36I/AAAAAAAAK1M/rzJA4TQVFpQwq_fQOc0WOcewGwDLga8eQCLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_poster.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Planet of the Sharks</b><i> (2016)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: Mark Atkins</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 4/9</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Species: mutated great white with amplified telepathic abilities as Alpha leader of all sharks in the film; various non-mutated species of sharks, specifically hammerheads and bulls can be spotted.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The poster immediately to the right of this text speaks heavily of two influences. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first obvious influence, from even the swiftest sideways glance, is </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, which copies (though in a far more gruesome manner) the original film's image of the gaping maw of a monstrous shark rising up from the deep to swallow humanity whole. From the second influence –</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> the title of the film itself, <i>Planet of the Sharks – </i>one can only surmise that someone has finally taken the logical leap in upping the renewed interest in the popular <i>Planet of the Apes</i> franchise, flooded the entire planet, and simply replaced the original concept's primates with sharks. I figured that such a thing might happen at some point along the way on our journey to total shark film awareness, and the fact that <i>Planet of the Sharks</i> hadn't already occurred in some form – at least, a good deal before we got to the idea of tornadoes chockfull of sharks – has been surprising to me in some small measure.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first signifier that this film has <br />"Planet of the" in the title...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sure enough, early on in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet of the Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> – the fourth premiere film of the 2016 </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> event on the Syfy Channel last week – a roving camera sweeps through the ocean depths to show us that water levels have risen to record levels to destroy most of what mankind has spent millennia building. On its trek through the murky waters of what will turn out to be the Atlantic coast of North America, we will get a clear reference to the old </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Apes</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> franchise. Outside of talking gorillas wearing armor on horseback, it is easily the most identifiable signifier of that franchise: the Statue of Liberty, which, in the case of the first Apes film in 1968, we saw with only its torch-bearing hand and head protruding from the sand in which it found itself buried since apes took over the earth and the human world fell into disrepair. In </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet of the Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, when we first see the famous statue, we see the whole of it surrounded by water, and there is no loincloth-clad Charlton Heston to scream his head off about those "damn, dirty apes!" The camera merely drifts past the French-bestowed American icon of freedom, carrying on emotionlessly forward so we may view the remainder of the too slow credits while we see the rest of our world submerged beneath the waves.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fGT7p5wZ9vc/V6NmAKOb3HI/AAAAAAAAK8k/uS8QgK3TqmwRs3tftDOXSwpI9erle__BQCLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_02_planet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fGT7p5wZ9vc/V6NmAKOb3HI/AAAAAAAAK8k/uS8QgK3TqmwRs3tftDOXSwpI9erle__BQCLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_02_planet.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And what we find in the shark-heavy future of this film is less </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet of the Apes</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> than it is </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Waterworld</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, a film itself obviously heavily influenced by George Miller's </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Mad Max </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">then-trilogy</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (with a little bit of Namor/Aquaman thrown into the mix). But there is no super-powered fish-man in the lead role here, though they do try to give us a variant on good ol' Max in the body of one Dillon Barrick, the captain of the Osprey. However, while he does have a noticeable accent, Barrick is not an Aussie like Max, but is embodied by the South African actor Brandon Auret, who is known in a cinematic sense mainly from small roles in all three of Neil Blomkamp's feature films (</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">District 9</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Elysium</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Chappie</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, in order of both chronological release and descending excellence). Barrick is appropriately scruffy and gruff, and barks orders somewhat unintelligibly when necessary. The problem with his character in <i>Planet of the Sharks</i> is that Barrick is neither mad like Max, nor is he overly heroic, merely content with being the right guy at the wrong place, but lets others handle a lot of the action most of the time. Or when he tries to be heroic, others – especially pesky, know-it-all scientist types – insist on doing it their way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Planet of the Sharks</i> has a focus problem. In fact, it has several focus problems. It wants to give us a hero, but splits its heroics up between too wide a cast of people. It wants us to think other characters are really important to its story, but they really are just extra baggage and/or fodder for the film's villains. It wants to tell to tell that hundreds of people live in particular places but never come close to convincing us that more than a handful do. It wants to take on an epic adventure the size of an entire planet, but only has the budget to center on a small area in the middle of an ocean. But, its most major problem is in its very premise. It wants to be <i>Planet of the Apes</i>, only with sharks. It wants to be <i>Waterworld</i>, only with sharks. It wants to be <i>Max Max 2: The Road Warrior</i>, only with sharks. But <i>Planet of the Sharks</i> fails itself because it really doesn't deliver on the one area that its title promises: sharks.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Good ol' Sparklenose!</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh, <i>Planet of the Sharks</i> has a shark, all right. Boy, does it ever have a shark. And it's a whopper. An abnormally large alpha shark of the great white species that I shall refer to as "Sparklenose" for the duration of this review. You see, it's not enough that in <i>Planet of the Sharks</i> that the icecaps have fully melted, the world continues to heat up more and more, and that 95% of the earth is now covered in ocean water. It's not enough that mankind (in a scenario that I rather applaud) has been reduced to living on makeshift raft homes in the middle of the sea, huddled together for safety against nature. (Really, it's what we deserve as a species...) No, somehow, one particular shark, the aforementioned Sparklenose, has mutated so that her ampullae of Lorenzini – the electroreceptors found on the nose areas of sharks which themselves are already a form of shark "superpower" – have been heightened so that they glow openly and allow Sparklenose the ability to basically control the thoughts and actions of scores of other sharks. And with plankton no longer developing in the oceans, thereby depleting the life forms dependent on it as a food source, the sharks have turned to dry land, or replications of said area, to find a replacement. And so Sparklenose has turned to hunting humans with an army of fellow sharks at her beck and call.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bea... what is she good for? <br />Absolutely nothin'...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Early on, we are given other <i>Mad Max</i> calling cards. We are given a replacement for the Feral Kid from <i>The Road Warrior</i>, a water-town orphan named Bea, in a mostly mute, big-eyed performance. There is a feeling for much of the film, as there is with a couple of other characters – including Barrick – that maybe there is something important for Bea to do coming up in the battle against the sharks. Maybe she plays a big role in a prophecy or has a certain perception others don't that lead them to victory ultimately. But Bea, like other raft people in the film, is just another raft person, it turns out, and is nothing special to the film. Bea's role is meaningless, apart from showing how kind Barrick is in the opening scenes, and how similarly thoughtful another character is later on in the film. We also get a chopper pilot who is dressed similarly to the gyro pilots played by Bruce Spence in the second and third films in the Mad Max films (the characters Spence plays in both films are actually not meant to be the same pilot, just similar characters).</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I weeellll keeellll him!!!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Another character that could have walked out of a Max film that turns out to be a red herring very early on is Joanne D'Amato, the Creole-sputtering (<i>I guess?</i>) leader of a water-town named Salvation, which supposedly has 400 citizens though it looks like it was built to hold 37. Arguably the most annoying character to ever appear in a Syfy original premiere shark film, D'Amato is played by Angie Teodora Dick, whose real-life last name belies her character's attitude in this film. As an actress, Dick is truly chewing scenery far above her pay grade. Twenty seconds into her performance, I was ready for Dick to be eaten by a shark, and the fact that I actually had to wait a few minutes for this to happen means that the producers owe me some of their royalties. There is a sense early in her performance that Dick's role will actually turn out to be much bigger in the end, due to a couple of closeups that are held too long. Whether these were meant to mislead intentionally on the part of the director is hard to say, because it is hard to detect much of a deft hand at anything in the anywhere else in the narrative. But it does seem briefly like she is going to go on to be a big Dennis Hopper villain <i>à la</i> <i>Waterworld</i>, and I thought that I was going to have to put up with her babbling mouth full of nonsensical gibberish for the entire running time. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Count yourself lucky, shark! She could <br />have acted you to death...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lucky for me, this is a shark film. D'Amato and her tribal goons take a defensive stand against the sharks in which they beat the docks with their weapons to draw the sharks to them and then attack the finned invaders with everything they have, stabbing and shooting anything that moves in the water. It almost looks like a real word 1970s snapshot of humanity on the ocean's waters post-<i>Jaws</i>, desperate to destroy anything that looked like a shark in even the slightest way. Dick, playing the head of this slice-and-dice-fest as all outer rage monster with no inner sense onscreen at all, does what she did in her previous scenes: goes hog wild. As D'Amato, she continues to grunt and growl and sneer her way through her dialogue, and when her character savagely spears a good-sized bull shark, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">thanks to awkward computer graphics, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">she is able to lift it out of the water easily and up into the air. Soon enough, after the film's good guy scientists witness the rampant carnage disapprovingly, D'Amato will get a little too full of herself – as is to be expected of her type – and decide to take on even bigger prey, which will prove her undoing... thankfully. I could not take much more of her. Please don't work again.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vAoYDPgQFGI/V6OLBSeujkI/AAAAAAAAK9w/2gF0ukAhzIkimW5qzZCkfs3KBFQ9966DQCLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_beheading_quartet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vAoYDPgQFGI/V6OLBSeujkI/AAAAAAAAK9w/2gF0ukAhzIkimW5qzZCkfs3KBFQ9966DQCLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_beheading_quartet.jpg" width="145" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh, snap!</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shortly after D'Amato is dispatched, Barrick gets his last true heroic moment in the film when he has to take on one of the goons from the town who is attempting to steal the Osprey by driving off with it during the melee with the sharks. Barrick and the goon get into one of those traditional big guy vs. big guy brawls that often end up in land-based films with one guy holding the other guy over some sort of precipice or a tank full of boiling whatever. In the case of <i>Planet of the Sharks</i>, we have the ever-present threat of leaping, monster fish with giant, pointy teeth, so perhaps the ante is upped even further during this knock-down, drag-out fight. The goon gets the upper hand and has Barrick's oily haired head hanging over the port side of the craft, but in a magnificent display of expert timing, Barrick manages to flip places with the goon at the last second so that the bad guy's head is neatly snipped off by the approaching jaws of a breaching great white as it jolts through the air next to the boat. This, of course, means that Barrick had to anticipate that a shark was definitely going to be jumping out of the water to eat someone's head, even though he had not actually witnessed such a thing exactly thus far in the movie. Watching the clip in slow motion (see the collage to the right of this paragraph), there is hardly any definition to the shark or its actions; just a shot of the actor's heads at the beginning, the barest sense of shape and motion in between to give the impression of a flying shark removing something, and some quick arterial spray at the end to sell the illusion.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-o8WQYwFxFp8/V6NmBpfsgsI/AAAAAAAAK9Y/9JijNFnUgSI_ZiBFGFDI92-mphe76XMAACLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_28_visser_sigh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-o8WQYwFxFp8/V6NmBpfsgsI/AAAAAAAAK9Y/9JijNFnUgSI_ZiBFGFDI92-mphe76XMAACLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_28_visser_sigh.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Caroline Munro (Christia Visser), scientist/welder.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I mentioned briefly, the actual good guys in this story – and its true focus – are a small group of scientists at an ocean-bound facility called Vestron, who are, among other projects, trying to shoot a rocket into the atmosphere to reverse the warming trend to eventually allow the earth to become oxygen-rich again and make the ocean levels lower to create land. Perhaps because it requires less animation and special effects, far more of the movie is focused on the lab-bound activities of the scientists than on the sharks, which is fine if you aren't intent on doing a decent job with effects in the first place. The two main doctors here are Dr. Shayne Nichols (played by Stephanie Beran, but who seems to play second fiddle to her tanktop at times) and Dr. Roy Shaw (Lindsay Sullivan). We met the Joanne D'Amato character earlier; here too is evidence that director/co-director Mark Atkins seems to be having some fun with character names in dropping references to either directors (Italian sleaze-master Joe D'Amato) or combined actor names from <i>Jaws</i> itself (Roy Scheider and Robert Shaw). Item #3 in the evidence drawer is the introduction of another actor-named scientist in the film, Dr. Caroline Munro, played by the most adorable actress to wear a welding mask since Jewel Staite on <i>Firefly</i>, Christia Visser. Unfortunately, Munro's love interest is proof that the future of <i>Planet of the Sharks</i> may be <i>this close</i> to being called <i>Planet of the Hipsters</i>: a bowtie-clad, manpurse-wearing, spiral earring-bedecked, bearded weirdo (John B. Swart), who happens to have a Japanese name (though he is clearly not Japanese) and carries a samurai sword. (Yes, he will use it later.) <span style="color: #990000;">[For the record, director Atkins made the first John Carter film to make it onto video – <i>Princess of Mars</i> – the one with Trump boytoy Antonio Sabato, Jr. as John Carter and Traci Lords as Dejah Thoris. And, yes, this film exists, and it is painful to behold...]</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ASPatNIP5_o/V6NmBg7trzI/AAAAAAAAK9U/bH5wUUe2xlccrAKJuPTRlZ7BMe8pSayowCLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_22_mob.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ASPatNIP5_o/V6NmBg7trzI/AAAAAAAAK9U/bH5wUUe2xlccrAKJuPTRlZ7BMe8pSayowCLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_22_mob.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Hey! Are we all great whites in this shot?"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Though I got down severely on Angie Teodora Dick's aggressively awful acting earlier, I should add that the remainder of the performances in this film are pretty squarely solid for the most part, especially when the scientist characters are given mostly technobabble to spit back out to the cameras and have to sound like crazy plan after crazy plan might actually work to save the earth instantly. Or when they have to say lines like "I don't know what your problem is with me, but I suggest that you deep-six it" or "She's controlling an army of sharks!" None of the actors are award-worthy, mind you, but they are solid enough to get their jobs done efficiently and believably, which is what you want in a film involving killer sharks taking over the entire world and treating people like livestock.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JAWFMaADOgQ/V6NmATuk4lI/AAAAAAAAK8w/Uso8-pKVAbAaEv-K2i28j3bpDvuLxP6ewCLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_04_hammers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JAWFMaADOgQ/V6NmATuk4lI/AAAAAAAAK8w/Uso8-pKVAbAaEv-K2i28j3bpDvuLxP6ewCLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_04_hammers.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just hammers in this shot...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Where the film is really disappointing is in its handing out of its sharky treats. Apart from good ol' Sparklenose, who gets the largest proportion of screen time fish-wise, there is a dearth of definition in the shark scenes. We can clearly make out the outlines of hammerheads in a couple of underwater scenes; I am guessing that hammers were chosen because their profiles are so distinctive as to not be mistaken. Hammerheads too figure into the attack scene in Salvation, as does a bull shark that is clearly speared by D'Amato. But in a world which is run by sharks, where are the tigers, makos, whitetips, blues, and other large sharks? Why are we seeing so few shark species in this film? "Ah, we got three types... we're good!" seems to be the mantra here. In fairness, there are probably others that are intended somewhere in the film; it is likely the graphics just aren't good enough to be able to tell them apart from the other sharks. But mostly the film is content just being Sparklenose's show, which isn't <i>Planet of the Sharks</i> at all. It's really </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet of A Shark... and a Few Extra Sharks on the Side</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NDrz0RRiMJ8/V6NmA0l7qEI/AAAAAAAAK9E/YRhyjq-U_G46eLEDTTPwt5iyKOhGzre_wCLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_16_monitor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NDrz0RRiMJ8/V6NmA0l7qEI/AAAAAAAAK9E/YRhyjq-U_G46eLEDTTPwt5iyKOhGzre_wCLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_16_monitor.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Probably not something you want <br />to see on your Pokemon Go! app...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet of A Shark... and a Few Extra Sharks on the Side</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> really suffers from its low budget in other areas (which really can't be avoided in such productions, so it feels mean to even mention it sometimes). I said earlier that one town was said to have four hundred citizens but seemed like it couldn't hold that many by its design, and so it goes that no scene ever felt like more than fifteen to twenty people actually populate any given area of this world. If the filmmakers were actively trying to sell the paucity of humans on the planet, they did a good job just by natural lack of budget alone. And yet, the sets aren't too bad, even the ones that are solely designed by computer, and the film has a consistent look and feel. It's really only when the shark world attempts to match up with the real world that the film runs into trouble in a design sense.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QpPYH67W7LE/V6NmBLDyc6I/AAAAAAAAK9M/7LBlkWiv6ZAC6pqQ5lQLMx5Qy8k8ejdCwCLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_17_chomp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QpPYH67W7LE/V6NmBLDyc6I/AAAAAAAAK9M/7LBlkWiv6ZAC6pqQ5lQLMx5Qy8k8ejdCwCLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_17_chomp.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Man, sharks are getting so good at this breaching <br />thing. Just like people in the Olympics...</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now, even stupid science fiction, well-filmed, can be fun science fiction. (And likewise, smart science-fiction can be deadly dull on the big <i>or</i> small screen if improperly handled.) A scenario may be ridiculous to the extreme, and depend on a lot of leaps of faith, but in the hands of a master craftsman, or even just an agile humbug of a showman, the results could turn out to be a legitimately good time. Lacking either one, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet of A Shark... and a Few Extra Sharks on the Side</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is left to its own devices and comes up fairly short. Still, the film is not without its pleasures. In order to enjoy this film, you will have to believe that a normal great white shark (albeit one with heightened electro-sensory organs) can leap far higher into the air than usual to take out a helicopter, that a shark can telepathically will another shark to take an arrow to the heart for her, that the best way to get out of a fight is to have a shark bite a guy's head off at the last second, and that parasailing in and out of anything is the most efficient way to escape a bomb blast radius. You also get to watch a truly horrid actress meet her fate. And a cute rocket scientist in a shirt tied to her midriff welds for fourteen seconds. If you are ready to believe in any of this, you can enjoy </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet of A Shark... and a Few Extra Sharks on the Side</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Besides, there were far dumber films shown during <i>Sharknado Week</i>, including ones with <i>Sharknado</i> right in the title. So, <i>Planet of A Shark... and a Few Extra Sharks on the Side</i>, has that going for it as well...</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-abheVTG_qOU/V6NmBb6GsiI/AAAAAAAAK9Q/w0-8Q3xYj8Iiym2cP_fseoPmV1FJVCFbACLcB/s1600/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_21_more_visser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-abheVTG_qOU/V6NmBb6GsiI/AAAAAAAAK9Q/w0-8Q3xYj8Iiym2cP_fseoPmV1FJVCFbACLcB/s320/Planet_of_the_Sharks_2016_21_more_visser.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A little Christia Visser for the trip home...</span></i></td></tr>
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Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-9944551015794135462016-07-27T02:00:00.000-07:002016-07-27T14:38:04.881-07:00Ice Sharks (2016)<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vfFmX-myIjU/V5UhM7yfBgI/AAAAAAAAK1I/edBhwzqqImcuf70tZkPEJY70LBHyNe66QCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vfFmX-myIjU/V5UhM7yfBgI/AAAAAAAAK1I/edBhwzqqImcuf70tZkPEJY70LBHyNe66QCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks.jpg" width="225" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Ice Sharks</b><i> (2016)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: Emile Edwin Smith</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 4/9</i></span><br />
<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Species: A theoretically evolved, faster and more aggressive form of the Greenland shark.</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Something that I have noticed about myself during </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is my reticence in watching any of the films that are being aired while my wife Jen is in the room. Jen, being a more highly evolved specimen of purportedly the same species as me, cares not for this silliness. On the first one and a half days of the event, Jen was otherwise occupied with family business outside of the home, and so I made a full marathon day of Sunday, and knocked out a couple of other films early on Monday. But the evening premiere shark films that air at 9:00 p.m. when we are both in the bedroom? Well, I try to knock out a few minutes here and there if she goes off to prepare for bed, brush her teeth, or get something from the kitchen, etc. It's a disjointed way to watch a film, but it does allow me to catch up on notes if I am taking them (it depends on the film), and I have actually made a habit of watching a great many other films in that manner between bursts of writing anyway. But the second she gets back to the bed, or at least once I finish a particular scene, I switch the film off to something that both of us can enjoy, or at least something more compatible with her taste.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And by taste, I don't mean content necessarily; I mean quality. Cheap ass, haphazardly created, and often poorly acted basic cable shark films are not her idea of entertainment, and I am cool with that. It's not to everyone's taste; sometimes, it's not even to mine. But sharks are, ultimately, not the issue here. If and when I come across an actual shark film of some discernible quality I will share it with her. She may not like the film in the end, but I will happily vet the film first to see if it falls within the range of her general taste. A lot of this stems from the relatively small amount of time we do get together to enjoy films or even television. From my angle, why would we turn on something that is going to make both of us go, "Why are we watching this?" when we could use that time to go through the pile of higher quality productions we have been putting off seeing for ages? On my own, I will wade happily through all sorts of crap; with Jen in the room, everything changes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> premiered on Monday night, I started my DVR recording of it while she was out of the room, and when she returned a few minutes into the film, I had planned originally to gauge her reaction to what I was watching as she sat back down on the bed, and then use that reaction to base my decision as to whether I would keep viewing. Since she was home the next day and we had some plans for part of it, and I wanted to keep to my announced schedule of writing about the first few Sharknado Week premieres on each following day, I knew that I had to knock out at least a chunk of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> that evening. But I got weirdly embarrassed when she returned to the bedroom – chiefly because the film was pretty bone-headed from the first scene forward – so my intent to discern her mood went away before I even got a chance to practice it. However, after we turned out the lights and she decided to read for a while, I flipped the movie on for about a 45-minute chunk to knock half the film out before I went to sleep.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6KitIw2JFJY/V5kiAmYRYUI/AAAAAAAAK4g/ME5Bx5tUzSYG5hsHS06oZbMnNMXw7l2BQCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_04_not_greenland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6KitIw2JFJY/V5kiAmYRYUI/AAAAAAAAK4g/ME5Bx5tUzSYG5hsHS06oZbMnNMXw7l2BQCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_04_not_greenland.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is most decidedly NOT a Greenland shark,<br /> no matter what the movie might say.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then came last night's premiere of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. As you can see from the poster above for the film, it looks of a piece with other Syfy Channel-style shark films. In fact, I thought it was likely a followup to an atrocious film they premiered last year called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Avalanche Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. The poster has what is clearly a massive great white shark bursting through some ice, while helicopters swirl about overhead. As usual, any scientific accuracy tends to go by the wayside with Syfy Channel shark movies, and so you try not to come to the table expecting anything close to an actual shark fact or even worrying about finding one. Let the stupidity wash over you for a couple of hours, watch a bunch of idiotic people who probably deserve to die anyway get killed, and let the couple of characters that show any sort of moral compass or backbone survive to or near the end to deal with how to stop the terror. Until the next film.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The situation was perfect. The wife got up to take care of some business just after nine, and so I thought that maybe I could at least watch </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> up until the first commercial break. My plan was flawless. </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> started up, and at first, there was little hope. There is an opening sequence with a man leading a team of sled dogs across an ice pack. Stopping briefly, he radios his position when he comes upon a polar bear, dining on a seal, in the near distance. Heading off again, the dogs stop short when they reach the end of the trail with just the ocean before them, and then we hear the ominous sound of the ice crunching. The trail gives way beneath the dogs, and they disappear, followed by blood spurting in every direction as they are presumably dispatched by something beneath all of that ice. The sled itself follows the dogs in, and the man is tied to the sled, so that it pulls him towards the water. Even though he manages to stop himself short at the last second, a large shark pops up out of the water and grips the man in its jaw, pulling him in a bloody smear towards the ocean.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's a poor start. Not the scenario, mind you; I can buy into a string of sled dogs and their driver being taken out by some form of malicious creature. That's standard monster movie stuff, and I am fine with it. The problem here, in an opening scene that should at least establish mood for the remainder of the film, is mainly the effects that are blatantly piss poor when the shark enters the shot. The shark's rather grating insertion into the scene did not lead my eyes nor my mind to believe in pleasant times ahead within <i>Ice Sharks</i>. It did, however, make me laugh at loud at its sloppiness, and I thought, "Here we go!" believing that a milder form of <i>Sharknado!</i> was really at hand. I thought that I was in for an endless array of hastily written one-liners, incongruous effects, and inane attempts to spin blatantly insane concepts into gold.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then, the next fifteen minutes of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> happened.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7J055N1vgOk/V5kiAm42qpI/AAAAAAAAK4o/6s167bplsBM6AbjD69ucyBSRQsaHElTRwCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_02_bros.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7J055N1vgOk/V5kiAm42qpI/AAAAAAAAK4o/6s167bplsBM6AbjD69ucyBSRQsaHElTRwCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_02_bros.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Brothers acting like bros...</span></i></td></tr>
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> got into its actual story, about a climate change research station in the Arctic that suddenly finds itself under attack by a handful of angry, hungry sharks (or "hangry," in the current popular parlance). Of course, no shark in real life ever needs to kill and eat as much as a shark in a shark film does; that's par for the genre, and if you cannot accept that, then you are watching the wrong movies. We meet a small group of dedicated scientists, and while we get a brief sense of who they are, it is mostly visual, and we get very few details about their lives. We know that there are an attractive pair that are clearly lovers, and there are a couple of bearded guys that are brothers. But, apart from names, we really know nothing about any of them, except that they like their mission.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lAouLcGYc7g/V5kiApVtRiI/AAAAAAAAK4k/Baz1qye5DvwdmQQGjP0YgoLwQhvZgCHmgCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_03_couple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lAouLcGYc7g/V5kiApVtRiI/AAAAAAAAK4k/Baz1qye5DvwdmQQGjP0YgoLwQhvZgCHmgCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_03_couple.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Hey, whenever we do it in this confined <br />space, everyone can hear us. Yeah!"</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Before the first commercial break around twenty minutes in, I had started to feel an previously unknown sensation while watching a premiere film on the Syfy Channel: I was actually fairly caught up in the film, and not in an ironic sense. Jen came back to the room at about the twelve-minute mark, and I was already a little intrigued. She turned on her Kindle Fire and started playing a game, possibly assuming that I would probably turn off the film in a few minutes and we would watch a </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Daily Show</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> or something else. But the first set of commercials came, and I had enough lead time on the recording to zip through them and begin the next segment of the film.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4M6XqGlnEys/V5kiBOvW7KI/AAAAAAAAK4s/-v4ox8Ty82kmTHJaFfwvIhKLTlbe3W86ACLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_05_cold.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4M6XqGlnEys/V5kiBOvW7KI/AAAAAAAAK4s/-v4ox8Ty82kmTHJaFfwvIhKLTlbe3W86ACLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_05_cold.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is not a shot from a buddy cop picture...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What I had first noticed that was different was the more naturalistic style of the acting. Each of the actors playing the scientists seemed to have formed a cabal wherein they agreed that they were all on the same setting, and that setting was "understated". There was a relative calmness to all of the characters, even in a couple of early scenes involving shark-related encounters, and I was flabbergasted how the usual histrionics of shark movie (i.e. monster movie) cookie-cutter characters did not seem to be present here. There wasn't someone in the group with a secret past, or someone with an spoken fear of water, or someone plotting to prove their theories by jumping ahead of everyone else. Nope... it was absolutely, straight-on, "we need to check that sensor out there", "OK, get to it; I will go over those figures" throughout the film. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All of the characters, no matter what the situation, seemed to be competent at their jobs. I have no idea if any of the science they are interpreting or any of the devices they are using are real or otherwise, and that doesn't matter. What were they doing out there? I don't know or care. In this fictional setting, what mattered was: did they look like they knew whatever it was they were doing? To a T. And efficiently as a well-oiled machine.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v7WV5sl2dGg/V5kiBJXIYjI/AAAAAAAAK4w/4UHWtMC9RJMGSSuIdsttU0NRVK426WwQACLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_06_on_ice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v7WV5sl2dGg/V5kiBJXIYjI/AAAAAAAAK4w/4UHWtMC9RJMGSSuIdsttU0NRVK426WwQACLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_06_on_ice.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the sharks enter the picture, the group of young scientists even tackle that situation as centered and as relatively calmly as the rest of their work. They theorize over what they are dealing with, and I got a small thrill out of the momentary clashing of hardcore shark silliness with actual factual information. I had thought early on how cool it would be if a Greenland shark made an appearance in this film, even if the poster showed only a very clear representation of a great white. I don't want people to start thinking that Greenland sharks are lurking out there waiting to devour every research scientist in the Arctic, but even the slightest attempt at actual fact in these things gives me a figurative science boner.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Greenland sharks can grow as large, even larger, than great whites in length, perhaps up to 24 feet, but have a number of factors going against them in being the nightmare predators of popular fiction. They are quite slow-moving creatures, their max speed being half as slow as the seals upon which they sometimes enjoy feeding, but they are even slower in their normal activities. Of course, living in extremely cold water areas where there are not particularly large populations of humans, and they themselves are a rather rarely seen (though plentiful) species as a result. They are often prone to carrying a copepod that feeds upon the corneas of their eyes, so many specimens end up being blind as a result. Oh... and that smell! They smell like urine, and it is reportedly a true affront to the senses. If you watched a </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dirty Jobs</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> episode a few years ago where host Mike Rowe went to Greenland to help a shark scientist perform an autopsy on a dead shark, then you might recall how stomach-retching the experience was for him. On top of that, their flesh, if ingested, is highly toxic, and can only be eaten after being prepared precisely. So, the Greenland shark definitely has some interesting specifics upon which one could possibly (with great effort) exaggerate for the purposes of a fictional narrative, but I didn't think that would be the case here in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ilP9V8e3H0U/V5kiBFTRcOI/AAAAAAAAK40/BK4sgzCaEsIwIShGtTk3PFFK-EB0qI-uACLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_07_leg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ilP9V8e3H0U/V5kiBFTRcOI/AAAAAAAAK40/BK4sgzCaEsIwIShGtTk3PFFK-EB0qI-uACLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_07_leg.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first attack in the film didn't even look like a Greenland shark. It wasn't exactly a great white either; it was closer to "generic Syfy channel shark," which is most often within great white territory though sometimes near the tiger shark range instead, but always a little off somehow in either instance. The shark's very aggressive, power-boating behavior was certainly nowhere near a Greenland shark, so it never entered my head as a reality. Then, the next attack occurs, which leaves a character with a severed leg beneath the knee in perhaps the goriest moment of the film. That shark has more of the coloration of a Greenland shark, but still does not approximate its physical structure. Another scene has a character guessing that maybe it was a Greenland shark after all, and another character replies that they are found at most about "800 miles southeast" from the station's location. Then comes the big theory that allows Syfy and their loyal film studios to do business with just about any concept that crosses their path: the "highly evolved," rare offshoot of a regular species. Just like that, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> became a film about Greenland sharks, only a more highly evolved version that seem to be able to swim about 25 knots and have a voracious appetite to match their newly notched up speed. Oh, yeah... and they can apparently chop their way right up through the ice to attack things out of the water, something a normal Greenland shark would never (or can't) do. Or any shark, really...</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KA_N7nEjS9s/V5kiBtVgavI/AAAAAAAAK48/VlZEUuupOrcWllVNrxR4bf6ai9aMO395wCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_09_station.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KA_N7nEjS9s/V5kiBtVgavI/AAAAAAAAK48/VlZEUuupOrcWllVNrxR4bf6ai9aMO395wCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_09_station.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At this point, about 45 minutes in or so (real time, not movie time), I was still watching the film with Jen paying attention to her Kindle Fire. But I kept bugging her: mentioning Greenland shark facts, getting excited when the film would actually use a real fact (even though it was only to subvert it), comment over how low-key the film was in relation to other Syfy shark films, and other things that I was noticing. She gave me a couple of "Uh huh" and "Oh, really? responses, as she really was not interested, and so I tried to leave her alone. But I also realized that I was surprisingly hooked on the film at that moment. It wasn't good, exactly; it was interesting. It was interesting for all the things that it wasn't: it wasn't tongue-in-cheek silly; it wasn't fast-paced and eager to move directly forward to the next bloody attack scene; and it wasn't populated by party-hopping, coed idiots who just wanted to have a good time. I had mentioned to Jen that, apart from the open attack scene, which itself was arguably downplayed from what it could have been given the specifics, that this may have been the most sober-minded Syfy Channel original film that has ever been premiered on the channel. It was slow paced, serious, thoughtful in most places, and the characters seemed to have real drive in their every action. It was also, sadly, a little bit dull a times, but I was fine with that just to have the experience of something that wasn't blandly over the top.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RBAHytBT7Cs/V5kiBlZaNdI/AAAAAAAAK5A/aLcXpj6Y0TAUMNGflpsWtsXcZfQmhAZgACLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_10_depths1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RBAHytBT7Cs/V5kiBlZaNdI/AAAAAAAAK5A/aLcXpj6Y0TAUMNGflpsWtsXcZfQmhAZgACLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_10_depths1.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I also mentioned to her a guess that the filmmakers may have watched John Carpenter's <i>The Thing</i> before making <i>Ice Sharks</i>, because the mood and the music rather matched that film, which itself takes place in a subzero environment (only the Antarctic that time). Part of the score for <i>Ice Sharks</i> seems like a pale copy of Ennio Morricone's theme music for <i>The Thing</i>, a low, burbling series of notes that somewhat approximate an inconstant heartbeat, with light bursts of synth decorating the fringes. (The mood from that score dissipates late in the film though, resorting to a more standard underscore.) And I am a guy who loves his comedy, but it was astounding and absolutely refreshing to find one of these films where there didn't seem to be a single, intentional joke, not even halfway near one for that matter. There is no goofy, comic relief character cracking wise or pulling oddball pranks, as everyone at the station, as I mentioned, is squarely committed to their mission. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was also nice that not every diving attempt in the film turns into instant death inside a shark's jaws, as the director continued to add as much suspense as possible into a subgenre where the luxury of slow-building, dramatic suspense has been largely discarded for rampant, unconvincing gore, flying sharks, and social media likes. I also liked that there is a thankfully low body count in this film, far lower than others within the Syfy Channel roster, and that the action was mostly centered on situation rather than pure exploitation. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">These were all among the factors as to why I stuck around last night as long as I did (about two-thirds of the film), as I continued to be intrigued by the developments in the film despite some of the effects. (Stopping at all was mostly due to my needing to attempt sleep as early as possible due to my ongoing, epic problems with insomnia; I finished the film first thing this morning.)</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uRg03dt7wdE/V5kiB7cQQ-I/AAAAAAAAK5E/veWS8QlEyTg3qOO9w3isKT1L7artaNS6QCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_12_depths3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uRg03dt7wdE/V5kiB7cQQ-I/AAAAAAAAK5E/veWS8QlEyTg3qOO9w3isKT1L7artaNS6QCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_12_depths3.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sadly, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> could not keep it up for very long. While the main cast keeps consistent to their acting plan throughout, the intrusion of others late in the plot betrays that what was going on in the claustrophobic environs of the research set while filming was a one-time thing. And the special effects likewise destroy the yeoman efforts of the cast at every turn. While there are a few later shots of the sharks that lightly work in not just believability of their existence within the frame with the actors, but also of their reality as a specimen of Greenland shark, they are few and far between. When the sharks eventually submerge the entire research station into the ocean depths for the last half of the film, and it turns out the station is practically airtight, it was a bit hard to suspend disbelief. I longed for the days of old school, professional scale model work or, hell, I would have preferred a static, in-camera matte painting of the station under the water rather than the shots that I get here.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VjDcRgQyoTE/V5kiCERcETI/AAAAAAAAK5M/Vo22xDfVfmIkcBPkuzJqLnIzE_8UcDYYgCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_14_fight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VjDcRgQyoTE/V5kiCERcETI/AAAAAAAAK5M/Vo22xDfVfmIkcBPkuzJqLnIzE_8UcDYYgCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_14_fight.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once again, we have a film that seems at odds with itself. As I mentioned in my review of <i>Atomic Shark</i>, it is almost like we have two separate crews and directors making the film. The opening scene of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, while thematically consistent, looks like it was made with a different type of film in mind than the one that then runs for the next 75 minutes. In some ways, the beginning feels totally tacked on in comparison to the rest. By contrast, the huge middle portion of the film is measured, generally thoughtful despite some excesses, and the acting is surprisingly believable and underplayed for the subgenre in which it occurs. The shark, in some of the closeups, even begins to look more like a Greenland shark, even if it never acts like one. And then, after all that, the finale takes us a good portion of the way back to what we had in the beginning, where the efforts to remain steady are thwarted by the requirement of having a big, dopey finish.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dSjGcjnnXPE/V5kiCJJ4hyI/AAAAAAAAK5U/cNQ3E_hsvVI8IGwE851mdRKhROL0oZI7gCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_15_deck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dSjGcjnnXPE/V5kiCJJ4hyI/AAAAAAAAK5U/cNQ3E_hsvVI8IGwE851mdRKhROL0oZI7gCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_15_deck.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Looking up the other credits for director Emile Edwin Smith, it turns out he helmed a previous shark film, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, a few years back, which is a ridiculous but admittedly kind of fun flick. Otherwise, he has made his name as a visual effects supervisor on shows like </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Firefly</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Battlestar Galactica</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Chuck</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Reaper</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, and their like. But his most noticeable recent credit is as the V.E.S. for the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> series, the entire thing. As </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was done for the same studio – The Asylum – that does </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, his involvement in that series is not surprising. (It turns out </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Avalanche Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was made by a completely different studio, so it is not a predecessor to this film.) Since Syfy credits whip by so fast and the IMDb page is incomplete, I have no idea if he was involved fully with the effects in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Ice Sharks</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> as well.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QQkYRG7feIQ/V5kiCTlLheI/AAAAAAAAK5Y/wY-Q6ZXlfboNpeBPGQgnmc7IMMsyvIHWwCLcB/s1600/Ice_Sharks_2016_17_fall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QQkYRG7feIQ/V5kiCTlLheI/AAAAAAAAK5Y/wY-Q6ZXlfboNpeBPGQgnmc7IMMsyvIHWwCLcB/s320/Ice_Sharks_2016_17_fall.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I would be a bit upset to find out if he was, because given the content of the bulk of this film, Smith should have been aware that perhaps a little bit more effort could have been poured into the effects to make that element of the film live up to everything else. This film is a "could have been"; this could have been an example where The Asylum, which is clearly making some coin right now, could have put a few more dollars back into one of their other productions and made something a step above their normal fare. This could have been one of those projects. There is ample evidence on the screen that this sought to do a little bit more at a slightly higher level than their previous films had ever done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the very least, they did it well enough to make me forget myself for a short while last night, and make Jen sit through two-thirds of a shark film by The Asylum. Even if she was not actually even watching any of this silliness...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-61973930662485898312016-07-26T12:30:00.000-07:002017-08-14T07:51:17.965-07:00Dam Sharks! (2016)<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</b><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> (2016)</i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: James and John Kondelik</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 3/9</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Species: bull sharks, but bull sharks that build dams like beavers. However, unlike beavers, they use human body parts to do so. (Well, except for Zombeavers, but that's a different movie.)</i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In lieu of an actual movie poster (can't <br />find a real one), I offer up this title card...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I first heard the title </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!,</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> without looking up any further information on its plotline, I wondered what it could be exactly. I absolutely discounted the notion that sharks would build dams, and figured that it was probably just a bunch of bull sharks that swam upriver and ended up at the head of a dam area. But that sounds rather dull.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then I started to wonder if maybe there was a missing apostrophe at the front of the title, and the <i>Dam</i> was really supposed to be <i>'Dam</i>, as in Amsterdam. I figured there could be a storyline in that city's canals, which would be preposterous, of course, but hell, they already did a <i>Sharks in Venice</i> movie. Why not in Amsterdam? Maybe a sequel, and then have an ongoing series with sharks in any city with canals? At every moment along the way, I was aware that the exclamation point in the title was supposed to remind us of someone yelling, "Damn, sharks!" instead and was not altogether convinced that someone just hadn't misspelled the word along the way. Still, I had to assume that someone had seen fit to make sure that proper spelling was checked before releasing a motion picture, even a potentially low-rent example of one. So, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">what was that <i>Dam</i> actually supposed to represent? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was the notion that I threw out in the first place that proved one thing to me: there is no idea too stupid that the Syfy Channel can't either convince a studio to make a film out of it OR be convinced by a studio that a film with such a premise should be made for their channel. In </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, the second of six shark films premiering on Syfy during their second annual </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, the sharks are indeed bull sharks, and those bull sharks are indeed building dams. Surprisingly, they are using not just logs to build them, but human body parts.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'"No, seriously, this all makes sense... somehow..."</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So when did bull sharks go full metal beaver on us? I mean, sure, bull sharks have the rare ability to handle the switch from saltwater to freshwater, unlike the vast majority of other shark species. Bulls have been found in many freshwater lakes and rivers on several continents, even verified high up the Mississippi. They are one of the most aggressive shark species around, and some attacks attributed to great whites may have been the work of bulls instead. But, they are not the all-time 'roid rage monsters that internet rumors would have you believe, rumors obsessed with just how much testosterone bull sharks must possess (even the lady bulls) in order for their aggressiveness to be explained. Sorry, but that all-time title still belongs to your date-rapey, douchebag neighbor down the street, and he has no excuse except that he is simply a douchebag.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> never really takes the time to explain how the bulls came up with this wholly organized plan to work socially together to cordon off two ends of a river system to trap their food supply inside. It seems like an awful lot of extra work for the sharks when they could just eat the bodies and then move on to where there are more people, if that is the type of food they crave (which they decidedly </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">don't</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in real life). If there is one thing of which this world has an excess, it's people. And in a shark movie, there are always just enough people dopey enough to hang out on or near the water, especially when sharks are already attacking in force. These sharks would never run out of food if they just bided their time. Why build dams in the first place?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O9z1bhPrkZI/V5erx0QPuKI/AAAAAAAAK3U/CZjvBZLD6QkLnZ13n3CJP9JATQtHDP99gCLcB/s1600/Dam_Sharks_2016_03_dam_closeup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O9z1bhPrkZI/V5erx0QPuKI/AAAAAAAAK3U/CZjvBZLD6QkLnZ13n3CJP9JATQtHDP99gCLcB/s320/Dam_Sharks_2016_03_dam_closeup.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A fairly gross if fuzzy example of a human dam <br />built by bull sharks, as envisioned by poor CGI.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, if they didn't, we wouldn't have a movie called <i>Dam Sharks!</i> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> As you probably are, my head is filled with questions that revolve around just how the sharks in this film have decided to build dams with human body parts. In order to hopefully find some form of logic out of this (but don't cross your fingers), let's look at the ultra-thin plot in not exactly excruciating detail. The very first scene shows us a large contingent of sharks being swept from the sea and up a river by a storm. Actually, I did not get that from the first scene. I got that explanation later in this film, from a theory by one of the lead characters, Kate, a ranger for the Fish and Wildlife Service. What the opening scene really looks like is a bunch of shark fins swirling about through some river rapids and coming to rest in a more serene area in short order. I did not read "storm" when I watched the scene, but I guess that must be what was intended to be was implied (very poorly) since it is backed up later.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We next see a cliffside next to the water, where a girl has taken off her clothes down to her scanties and prepares to leap into the river for a swim. When she does, her path is cut off by a breaching shark, who snaps her easily out of midway and pulls her into the water for what we assume, at this point, will be a tasty snack. Next, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kate and her partner Mark are sent out to check out why the river level seems to be dropping. They come to a dam structure in the river, and after diving into the water, Mark makes the usual semi-ribald remarks about beaver; I believe the word "swelling" is involved, which gets a smirk out of Kate. As he gets near the dam structure, Mark suddenly realizes that there are corpses and body parts all over the place (these sharks have been pretty busy since arriving apparently). Before he can return to the boat, however, he is attacked full force by a bull shark. Kate tries to pull him out of the water, but Mark's body has been cut in half, and even his hand has been severed. Not taking the time to devour any of the flesh, the shark tucks Mark's body carefully into the dam.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kabby Borders (Joline) and Jason London (Tanner).</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Enter the bulk of the remainder of the cast. A company called Horizon Tech has organized a corporate retreat in this park, and its CEO, Tanner, is gung-ho about leading his employees through several days of team-building exercises and activities like paintball, rafting races, and archery contests. I don't know who actor Jason London paid to keep his name off the IMDb listing for this film, but while most of the main cast are accounted for there</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, he is not.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (I should mention, as of the publication date of this posting, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is still marked as "In Post-Production" and therefore can't be rated.) London, whom I have enjoyed in a light way in several roles going back to Richard Linklater's classic, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dazed and Confused</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, is serviceable at best as the only semi-name actor in the ensemble. London, who used to coast on his boyish good looks and the charm that went with them, has gotten a bit older naturally, and now comes off, especially through the use of his character's eyeglasses, as a Stephen Tobolowsky type but with actual hair. (I would have been saddened had they actually gotten Tobolowsky himself for this role, because he always deserves far better than films like this.) London's CEO character is self-possessed and hiding a dastardly secret from his employees, and is naively unaware of how everyone really feels about him. London plays these notes about as well as he can, which is not bad and probably better than the film deserves.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Team Beezers!" Joline cries<br /> in another part of the film.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The "distracting hottie" influence for this film is provided by the interestingly named Kabby Borders in her role as Joline, the assistant to London's obnoxious CEO. Joline is bubbly and effervescent though efficient in her job, though Tanner makes it clear to her that such qualities are not needed. "I didn't hire you for your thinking!" he tells her at one point, staring down at her ample cleavage as he does. In her role built for distraction, though there are other equally attractive women in the cast, Joline is meant to provide one point of a proposed love triangle between IT nerd Ted (Saxon Jones), who gets mumbly-mouthed around her, and wild-man office goon Kenny (</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eric Paul Erickson), the type of guy that Ted is convinced girls like her normally go for in this world. It does seem like one would know where this is going, but to somewhat of a surprise, one character ends up on the other side of the movie. The others? Well, this is a shark movie, so it will be up to the rules of the genre to determine whether anyone finds true happiness in the end.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Also from the Horizon Tech team are Stella (Neka Zang) and Pullman (Matt Mercer). Stella is hard-working but tired of the grind, while Pullman is, at first, rather a Bill Murray type, who has figured out how to work his boss's idiosyncrasies to his advantage. Pullman has grown used to taking on short-term projects that never are expected to pan out because his boss' attention turns to another bright shiny object (which therefore means Pullman never has to work all that hard and collects a big paycheck to boot). But Stella and Pullman have a thing for each other upon which they have never acted, and when Stella tells him some inside information about the real reason everyone is at the retreat, everything will come to a head. Just in time for a bunch of beaver-acting sharks to get in the way.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Never ask a bull shark for a little head...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The final major player in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is Carl, played by Robert Craighead, a character actor whose career goes as far back as small parts in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Cujo</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Return of the Living Dead</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in the early '80s, but is mostly known for playing a cop for several years on </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The Bold and the Beautiful</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> (but not known by me until I looked him up today). Carl is a local survivalist type who is gruff to and paranoid of all outsiders, though he has a grudging respect for Ranger Kate. After he is attacked by the sharks while fishing in his hip-waders early in the film, Carl teams up with Kate to try to blow the dams and take out the sharks. Carl's character is clearly meant to play off of Captain Quint in <i>Jaws</i>, and it will not be the first time that the filmmakers of <i>Dam Sharks!</i> will attempt to both take a cue from the classic shark film, but also try to parody it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The problem, of course, is that <i>Dam Sharks!</i> never comes across as an unintentional comedy. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The cast plays it mostly straight, even when Kate has to explain her theory about why the sharks are making dams. "Why do sharks do anything?," she asks. "Food!" Well, for that reason, why aren't they making like the shark in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Bait</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and attacking a supermarket if they're so smart? Seems like easier ways to catch prey than laboriously stacking human bodies – and logs! I should mention again that there are logs in the dam pile, so sharks must have been dragging logs onto it as well – to block up a river. You know, easier ways, like... eating the bodies of the people that you have been catching. Argh!!! Why do I have to explain these things to you, sharks? I thought you were super-intelligent!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stella kicks some major shark ass... the girl can do <br />wonders with an arrow and a CO2 cartridge.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the rest of the film, Carl and Kate will cross paths with various members of the Horizon Tech team to save them from being murdered or to battle sharks on the river. Most of the employees, of course, are nothing but chum in waiting, while others – such as Stella – will prove she is a major badass with a bow and arrow. Kate, too, provides fully capable in the marksmanship category, only with a rifle instead. I should mention here that, in terms of displays of girl power, both films that have led off <i>Sharknado Week</i> for 2016 have the females taking control of the action for the most part (though I know this is merely a coincidence of scheduling). But there are other similarities at hand between this film and the first premiere, <i>Atomic Shark</i>. Both films also show early signs of males that would normally come to the fore and take the lead in battling the evil shark/sharks into submission, but then those males seem to make way for the ladies to take charge, to formulate the grand escape/destruction plans, and to carry those plans through to their conclusion. A third comparison between the two films is the use of oxygen tanks in the battle plans of their finales. For <i>Dam Sharks!</i>, this is a direct nod to <i>Jaws</i>, as both Kate and another character who comes up with the idea separately say, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">after other characters mention that it couldn't possibly work,</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> "I saw it in a movie once." (I believe that the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Mythbusters</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and others have proven pretty roundly that such a plan can't work. But who cares? It's only a shark movie.)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Check out the size of the people in comparison to <br />the inner tubes on which they are floating...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There all several moments in <i>Dam Sharks! </i>where there seems to be sizing issues with the species of sharks and the humans they are attacking. Bull sharks reach an average length of around eleven feet (max. thirteen ft.) and weigh in the area of 500 pounds. The shark that attacks Mark early in the film seems to fit him easily in its mouth, and seems like a oversized great white in comparison, which is even more ridiculous given the visual proportions of the river area that this mass of sharks is inhabiting </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(there are far more than a single shark swimming about in the water).</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2wLKppaZuc8/V5d_0daEVZI/AAAAAAAAK2c/-j4OTbDr490c9oNfyzS5C4rEJ0dYiXY6QCLcB/s1600/Dam_Sharks_2016_05_tube2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2wLKppaZuc8/V5d_0daEVZI/AAAAAAAAK2c/-j4OTbDr490c9oNfyzS5C4rEJ0dYiXY6QCLcB/s320/Dam_Sharks_2016_05_tube2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">...and then the inner tubes in comparison to the <br />sharks which are supposed to be bigger than <br />the people on the inner tubes.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even allowing for a diversity of sizes in the same species of shark due to age, this is still an over the top image. Later, when the inner-tubers take to the river, we see the trio of humans laying back on the tubes, their legs dangling over the edges of the tubes. The tubes, therefore, are not that huge. When the shot cuts to one of the bulls coming up underneath the inner tubes, that shark's size in comparison to the floating device is miniscule. This would lead us to believe that this is nothing more than a very young shark, perhaps an early juvenile. But when the next cut occurs and the same shark leaps up and snacks on the guy on the tube, he dwarfs the man, and therefore the inner tube, considerably. (And furthermore, the markings on the underwater shot of the tubes do not in any way match those seen in the above water shots.)</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6tpoNhcLomc/V5d_02v3NII/AAAAAAAAK2o/R4S2YwiHCAgoxN4r3RFglhmcV1QNpT74ACLcB/s1600/Dam_Sharks_2016_07_breach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6tpoNhcLomc/V5d_02v3NII/AAAAAAAAK2o/R4S2YwiHCAgoxN4r3RFglhmcV1QNpT74ACLcB/s320/Dam_Sharks_2016_07_breach.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The sharks, for the most part, appear to be designed to at least look like a CGI artist's conception of a third hand account of a bull shark. When you go almost full computer graphics for a shark movie, you can at least avoid the old school shark mixup scenario where in a single scene you might get a snippet of tiger shark mixed with a cut to a great white and then a clip of a sand tiger or mako and then back to the tiger shark. There is a consistency of bull in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> – sharks or otherwise – though I will say that in a few shots from their undersides, the snouts on the bull sharks get dangerously close to goblin shark lengths. Having just dealt with a fairly atrocious prehistoric goblin shark movie recently (</span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Malibu Shark Attack</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> - for review, </span><a href="http://sharkfilmoffice.blogspot.com/2016/06/malibu-shark-attack-2009.html" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">click here</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">), this was a painful and unnecessary callback. Just sayin'...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_nvsRtaDpEY/V5d_0ijCLAI/AAAAAAAAK2k/wKQiubnXi_cADJLQ7l9SlQz4K_xcDRNEwCLcB/s1600/Dam_Sharks_2016_06_flyover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_nvsRtaDpEY/V5d_0ijCLAI/AAAAAAAAK2k/wKQiubnXi_cADJLQ7l9SlQz4K_xcDRNEwCLcB/s320/Dam_Sharks_2016_06_flyover.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Too bad none of these characters is an orthodontist. <br />Or at least Hermes the Elf...</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now, in real life, bull sharks are not known for their breaching behavior, at least not in the way that we have long known about makos, who are the kings of leaping out of the sea and into the air for short flights, and great whites, of whom we only have relatively recent knowledge (say the past couple of decades) of their true ability to do so. (This is not to say it hasn't been a standard of shark fiction for ages.) But there is little evidence of bull sharks taking part in such activity, at least to a large extent, and certainly not anything where they are jumping ten to fifteen feet in the air. In </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Dam Sharks!</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> – and I have to chalk this up to sharks with some form of super-intelligence because they have clearly figured out how to damn up a river on opposite ends – the bulls can breach like nobody's business. I described the early scene where the girl is snatched midair when she leaps off the cliff. This is nothing in comparison to a scene late in the film where a bull leaps full-bodied in slow motion high over an entire raft. In a movie filled with impossible imagery, this may be the most patently ridiculous shot, but then, I haven't yet described the scene in the next paragraph.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AOgT3SAwDI8/V5d_0xOLjyI/AAAAAAAAK2s/0Z_xmWvh32oDIi4w2pX1X61yIlxavGS-ACLcB/s1600/Dam_Sharks_2016_09_hook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AOgT3SAwDI8/V5d_0xOLjyI/AAAAAAAAK2s/0Z_xmWvh32oDIi4w2pX1X61yIlxavGS-ACLcB/s320/Dam_Sharks_2016_09_hook.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, I've heard of song hooks you can't<br />get out of your head before, but...</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Somewhere in the film, a pair of doofuses go fishing in the river. While one guy has brought the requisite rod and tackle and goes about trying to catch fish the old fashioned way, the other guy, without any previous awareness of the sharks that are swimming about around them in the river, has for some reason brought a bucket of chum. After the first guy fails over and over to get a bite, the second decides to school him and throws a giant shark-sized hook with a chunk of meat jabbed onto it attached to a thick length of chain in order to catch, in his words, "the big fish". I don't know what "big fish" he is thinking of here, but as I said, they have not heard anything about sharks at all to this point. When his bait is taken along with his entire chain, the boat is bumped and rocked. After they settle themselves, the hook comes flying back and spears the second guy right through his chin and up and out of his mouth. In seconds, he is pulled in, the other guy falls in, and they are fodder for the human dam. How is the hook thrown back at the second guy? "Super-intelligent sharks" can be the only answer. Only when they embrace human-like smarts can they begin to truly embrace their inner Jason Voorhees. You know, like real people do...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iDIbWB06TxQ/V5d_1v7z0fI/AAAAAAAAK3A/surKBWnHelwYNcHBht427PQA4Cl6XKBpACLcB/s1600/Dam_Sharks_promo_pull.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iDIbWB06TxQ/V5d_1v7z0fI/AAAAAAAAK3A/surKBWnHelwYNcHBht427PQA4Cl6XKBpACLcB/s320/Dam_Sharks_promo_pull.jpg" width="201" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Promo that I found on Twitter <br />but not on Syfy's page. May have <br />been made by someone.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dam Sharks!</i> seems to have skipped the normal route of how movies, even Syfy Channel ones, are promoted. There is no real movie poster available online, there seems to have been little in the way of advertising, and there is no trailer available for viewing either. And, as I mentioned, it's entry on IMDb isn't even fully live, only in "Post-Production". Its release seems to have sneaked up on its own studio and network, which is weird since it plays so early in the <i>Sharknado Week 2016</i> lineup. The film has a truly loopy concept, but has nowhere near the fun that the makers of <i>Atomic Shark</i> have with a similarly stupid idea. Both films never really fully explain exactly how their antagonists get into the state in which they are either ultra-radioactive or able to construct huge dams far upriver from their normal environs. Such concerns aren't really necessary to a low-budget shark flick, but at least the creature in <i>Atomic Shark</i> still pretty much carries on like normal. This beaver dam thing... that's pretty weird. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Someone is holding out on us. We aren't getting the full story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hate to say it, but there needs to be a sequel. As soon as the filmmakers </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">actually</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> figure out what those true reasons are for the behavior of these bull sharks, I had better see that flick on Syfy... and probably will. As soon as they figure it out...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>RTJ</i></span><br />
<br />Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35679905.post-58521603474860858462016-07-25T04:00:00.000-07:002016-07-25T16:10:33.520-07:00Atomic Shark (2016)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DNyDVQA6JmE/V5UfwmDxukI/AAAAAAAAK08/qZfE44NKUCkn7QuXdw_kuwWtFbFjWNf4ACLcB/s1600/atomic_shark_2016_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DNyDVQA6JmE/V5UfwmDxukI/AAAAAAAAK08/qZfE44NKUCkn7QuXdw_kuwWtFbFjWNf4ACLcB/s320/atomic_shark_2016_poster.jpg" width="248" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am unsure if this poster is for the same <br />movie or an earlier conception<br />of it, since the shark in this film does <br />not have anything strapped to its back.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Atomic Shark</b><i> (2016)</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dir.: A.B. Stone</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>TC4P Rating: 4/9</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Species: great white shark mutated by atomic radiation; has red hot, glowing dorsal fin that can slice through people and objects (or so it seems); scores of other sharks, seemingly all great whites, appear late in film.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">A couple of weeks ago, I was in awe of a Philippe Cousteau documentary – </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Nuclear Sharks</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> – where Cousteau and his crew, including his wife, Ashlan Gorse, visited Bikini Atoll in the South Pacific, an area where the United States performed a series of atom bomb tests over a period of a dozen years from 1946 to 1958. Our country, in seeking to further study atomic power, decimated the area, and even distant populations thought to be out of the direct path of the explosions experienced medical difficulties (up to and including death) from the radioactive fallout. While much of the area has rebounded, with new life in many areas undersea, the islands of the Atoll are still rife with radiation, and </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Nuclear Sharks</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> made for a interesting and rather haunting experience as I watched the Cousteaus and their crew dive about on a scientific study of the reef sharks in the area. As shark documentaries go, it was my favorite of this year's Shark Week shows, especially because it was laden with a deep sense of sadness at the folly of mankind's battle against its own existence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">What a difference a fortnight makes. Same ocean, same order of sea-going creature, same form of energy... far different outcome, and a decidedly far different tone. It's not that there aren't characters in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Atomic Shark</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">, the first of six prime-time premiere shark films airing during Syfy Channel's second annual </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Sharknado Week</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> event, concerned with the environment and the toll that mankind is having upon the world. There are and they are deeply involved in its plotline. It's just that the film itself is not really all that concerned about anything at all except making a big stupid shark movie.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yiASEqNNAT8/V5aZ9nTKPDI/AAAAAAAAK1g/CGJD30a9PRwJkGhMT7yifMaVGB9wTMaygCLcB/s1600/Atomic_Shark_01_opening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yiASEqNNAT8/V5aZ9nTKPDI/AAAAAAAAK1g/CGJD30a9PRwJkGhMT7yifMaVGB9wTMaygCLcB/s320/Atomic_Shark_01_opening.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Along with a similar title, the beginning of <i>Atomic Shark</i> actually bears a superficial resemblance to the start of the <i>Nuclear Sharks</i> documentary, with the image of a great white shark cutting through the water superimposed over black and white of real atomic testing blasts. Also as in <i>Nuclear Sharks</i>, we hear the voice of scientist Robert Oppenheimer as he speaks his famous quoting of </span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">a line from the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Bhagavad Gita: </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">." When the narrative portion of the film begins, all such pretensions are whisked away instantly. We see a small craft piloted by Rottger, played by the reliably grizzly Jeff Fahey (who was playing the grizzled type even in his pretty boy days back in the '80s). As Rottger tows a lady friend on water skis through the waters off of San Diego, they are suddenly pursued by a large shark fin. The most noticeable difference between this fin and others is the fact that it is glowing red, and as it cuts through the ocean, the water seems to sizzle around it. When the skier panics and loses her grip on the towrope, she is clearly doomed, and when her time comes, there is black, bubbling water around her. When Rottger gets to her, she is nothing but a charred, bloody corpse... and cut in two to boot.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ARm01anr6F8/V5aZ9jRi80I/AAAAAAAAK1k/1l6S2XVcwsokeU3bk1YfKWOXbIhISIsngCLcB/s1600/Atomic_Shark_03_fahey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ARm01anr6F8/V5aZ9jRi80I/AAAAAAAAK1k/1l6S2XVcwsokeU3bk1YfKWOXbIhISIsngCLcB/s320/Atomic_Shark_03_fahey.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fahey... the eternal boat captain. (Besides Hef, that is...)</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Back on the shore, a jogging lifeguard named Gina (Rachele Brooke Smith) discovers a fish in the sand that has been carried in by the surf. The fish looks as though its skin and much of its flesh have been rendered away, almost as if dissolved by acid. At the same time, the movie plays its first card in showing us how tuned in the filmmakers are to current social media trends. The film cuts to a video of a hardcore conservation group attempting to report the disturbing trend of mysterious fish deaths along the San Diego coastline. We also meet another lifeguard named Kaplan (Bobby Campo, most recently a series regular on the </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Scream</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> TV series), who is pretty much confined to life in the first aid tent since he busted his leg. In his spare time in the tent, he has developed an interest in drone technology, which he uses at one point early on to carry a lifejacket to a cramping swimmer before Gina can swim out to her.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r0aM6tZ3foQ/V5aZ-GSMiPI/AAAAAAAAK10/xeVIPC7Hi4o1On-Q4IBjP-1leV6bnA0EQCLcB/s1600/Atomic_Shark_06_kylie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r0aM6tZ3foQ/V5aZ-GSMiPI/AAAAAAAAK10/xeVIPC7Hi4o1On-Q4IBjP-1leV6bnA0EQCLcB/s320/Atomic_Shark_06_kylie.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>#MEEEEE-YOW!</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The bulk of </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Atomic Shark's</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> action will take place on this stretch of San Diego beach, and we get to know two other lifeguards rather well in this time. The first is the head lifeguard, Reese (Adam Ambruso), who is imperious and regimental, and absolutely lacks any trace of a sense of humor. We also meet Kylie (a fetching Jessica Kemejuk, who reminds me a bit of a young Jennifer Aniston)</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">, a social media-obsessed, selfie junkie, who seems to care more for her appearance than actually getting into the water to help someone. Kylie gets the comic relief plotline of the film, as her looks attract the attention of a preteen who fakes drowning to get her to swim out and perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on him (successfully, and with the grudging help of Fahey's character, I might add), and who buries himself in sand later to get Kylie's attention once more. (Somehow I sense it will not work out between them...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Even when Kylie tries to warn a doughy, hairy guy out in the water about the shark in the vicinity, the man cannot help but see Kylie in an imaginary closeup giving him come-on looks rather than warning signals with her arms. Her vision in his mind is as she would appear on one of the social media outlets she frequents, with hashtags like "#COMEHERE" or a peach emoticon. (It is likely that his character may have checked her out on these sites, having seen her on the beach so much, and because she is proud of her "87,000" followers.) My favorite gag to this effect is where Kylie is posing with the kid buried in the sand for a picture, and we see "#SAVINGLIVES" on the screen as an ironic comment from the filmmakers.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0VPZysyCTWE/V5aZ9o5vhyI/AAAAAAAAK1o/Tt5zVad21W0JkNjQ677OEfa4G_VfuV3VgCLcB/s1600/Atomic_Shark_02_gina_kylie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0VPZysyCTWE/V5aZ9o5vhyI/AAAAAAAAK1o/Tt5zVad21W0JkNjQ677OEfa4G_VfuV3VgCLcB/s320/Atomic_Shark_02_gina_kylie.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>At some point in the film, one of these girls will call <br />the other one a "bitch". Want to guess?</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The basic plot is that Gina and Kaplan get involved initially with the couple behind the conservation group to alert the world about the mounting fish deaths plaguing the area, and to find the source. (There is talk of a wrecked Soviet submarine thirty miles south of San Diego.) But once the shark attacks start occurring, the four band together to try and stop the rampaging atomic killer. Along the way, they have to enlist – if blackmail can be considered enlisting – the aid of local pervert Fletcher, who uses drones to not only steal the bikinis from sunbathing girls on the beach, but also films them surreptitiously and posts the videos on his porn site. That the pervert is played by David Faustino – good ol' Bud Bundy from </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Married with Children</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">, himself a world class perv – is perfect casting in my book.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">When the shark attacks occur, they are frequent, bloody and, most of all, fiery. Anything that gets near the atomic shark catches on fire, so that the normal torrents of blood in shark movies are accompanied by little spurts of flame or even larger bursts of orange glow. The filmmakers really latch on to the notion of that glowing red fin (probably a wise choice to eat up a decent amount of screen time), but seem even more pleased with showing the goofy-looking, mutated shark in full closeup, its skin mottled with red and black, and constantly looking more like a third story apartment fire than an actual shark. Which brings me to the quality of the special effects, which vary from pretty terrible at times to middle range OK, which pretty squarely places the film in the realm of the usual Syfy Channel output.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>No truth to the rumor that this was the <br />original poster for Hoop Dreams.</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">This is not to say there is not some cleverness in even the merely OK effects. There is a scene early on where a group of YouTube savvy goofballs show how cool they are as they zip around on jet skis and take to the skies (but only so high) using those increasingly popular (with very good reason) water propulsion jetpacks. Of course, they are attacked by the atomic shark, but when it happens, he leaps through the loops of the propulsion tubes. Because he is an atomic shark, he sets the tubes on flame around him, so that as he bears down on the jet-packer to snap off his little head, the shark looks exactly as if he has been trained to jump through a flaming hoop. It's a cute touch that is punctuated suddenly by blood and even more death.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Uhqv6aDm-sE/V5aZ-O-UlhI/AAAAAAAAK1w/8DSDi1zNFeEjJeRSYPSTlpwtHNCT6JHpgCLcB/s1600/Atomic_Shark_05_dockside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Uhqv6aDm-sE/V5aZ-O-UlhI/AAAAAAAAK1w/8DSDi1zNFeEjJeRSYPSTlpwtHNCT6JHpgCLcB/s320/Atomic_Shark_05_dockside.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Another fun effects scene takes a cue from Monty Python. (Or, I assume they took a cue from Monty Python; who knows with today's kids?) In a nearby restaurant called (humorously) Tales from the Dockside, we are shown a Yelp-style review page where the place has three stars. Gina, Kaplan, and the conservationists go for drinks, but it turns out an egotistical food-show host is filming a segment there. Trying out the cuisine, the jerk is served fish, but no one is aware it is a recently caught specimen of the same type of fish that have been turning up dead and burnt on the beach. (Such an occurrence does not really make sense, but go with it... the payoff is grand.) The host and several others in the place take a bite of their food, and if you know who Mr. Creosote is, then you not only are aware of Monty Python, but then you also know the likely outcome of this poorly timed meal. Rest assured, the result is grandly gory and gooey. And, of course, fiery. Best of all, we are shown an update of Tales from the Dockside on the Yelp-style page, as the restaurant in the background goes up in flames, and its rating has dropped down a single star.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">However, other scenes simply do not work well on the effects level. There is a point where constant chumming of the water brings about scores and scores of shark fins across the horizon that bear down on the boats. Since all of the fins seem to be of the same exact shape and size, and the same size as the atomic shark, it may be assumed that each fin belongs to a great white shark as well. The approach of the fins en masse only points up the hokiness of the effect; their number, and this viewer's assumption of the species at hand, means that there may be more great whites in this one scene than have been generally counted along the entirety of the California coastline in a single great white season. Even an oil tanker full of chum would not bring that many great whites to the scene so relatively quickly. Another downturn in the effects is any time (and there a few of these moments) where the shark has to lurch its way across the beach or the ground, either to get back in the water or to eat something. Awkwardness is expected, of course; a series of short bursts of smooth, weightless slides is not, whether you are powered by atomic radiation or not.</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KCO4slmtFiU/V5aZ-ffCcaI/AAAAAAAAK14/I6pNm9nAPwUEwO4Lefh6Ed-nlnyN-NLgwCLcB/s1600/Atomic_Shark_07_atomic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KCO4slmtFiU/V5aZ-ffCcaI/AAAAAAAAK14/I6pNm9nAPwUEwO4Lefh6Ed-nlnyN-NLgwCLcB/s320/Atomic_Shark_07_atomic.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">But, the film has fun with some of the silliness of the concept, and gets beyond the wishy-washy effects. Late in the film, left with few options, the remaining survivors come up with a plan to not only escape but also destroy the shark that is so absolutely ridiculous that it is quite clearly the sort of plan that one comes up with when you are only left with this, and this, and this, and are caught in this specific scenario. The film has to work a little hard to ensure that they are left in that exact situation, and be mindful that not a speck of the plan will work unless the shark they are dealing with </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">is an atomic shark</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">. (Regular shark? Well, as long as they stick to real life and not exist only inside a shark movie, they probably wouldn't have to worry too much as long as they keep to the boat until they are rescued.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Deep into the film, there is a tonal shift (or seven), and some characters seem to become aware they are in a Syfy Channel movie. There is a bit where one of the characters reveals a surprising darker side, and during the ensuing possibly to-the-death battle with another character, keeps having their murderous efforts thwarted over and over. As this occurs, the music score playfully rises and falls with each failed attempt. Without a speck of romance in </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Atomic Shark –</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> except for various characters (and myself) being moony-eyed over Kylie – the film suddenly decides it needs some romance, and then instantly dashes those notions a couple times over in succession. The film takes pains to build drama over the identity of one character in relation to another, but then when that identity is revealed (you will have it figured out in the twelfth minute of the film), the film shifts as it none of it meant anything at all. Honestly, the last third of the film feels as it was made by an entirely different director, writers, and crew.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">That said, despite its rampant inconsistencies, I had a fun time watching <i>Atomic Shark</i> last night, even after a full day of watching six other Syfy Channel films before it (only one of which I had not seen previously). One does not come to these movies expecting quality, but sometimes it is the little touches that separate the real, bottom-of-the-barrel scrapers that often get shown on the channel (<i>Shark Assault</i> aka <i>Shark Week</i>, anyone?) from a film like </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Atomic Shark.</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> This is nowhere near being a good, quality film, but <i>Atomic Shark</i> can be enjoyed for its obvious sense of humor in many scenes, and its ability to play it straight even when it is very clear that everyone involved knows exactly how silly all of this is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe, for at least the first two thirds, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Atomic Shark</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> was intended to be the first deadpan shark comedy. I don't know. But I do know that I doubt that I will ever eat fish in a restaurant again.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">RTJ</i><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>To read my introduction to Sharknado Week 2016, <a href="http://sharkfilmoffice.blogspot.com/2016/07/god-rest-ye-merry-gentlesharks.html">click here</a>.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>The official trailer:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Rik Tod Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903694670356107788noreply@blogger.com0